After joining Good Reads I've honestly been having a grand time listing the books I've read and reviewing them. I have seen others reading books I want to read and had a recommendation from Genie. In short, I'm loving the website.

I haven't forgotten about the virtual book club, either, and will have a few options for reading in a week or two. But first, I have been directed to something I have to read, and not in that "Oh my God, if I don't read that then I might just die!" kind of way. I mean must read in the "I cannot fail this test kind of way." Also it falls into the "Christ this is boring" and the "I'd rather be visiting the dentist" categories.

I'm reading this book.

And I'm reading it because I take my Life in the UK Citizenship test on the 3rd of March.

As of March 6th, I will have been in the UK for 5 years. This is the qualifying residency period to go to the next step - Indefinite Leave to Remain or UK citizenship. When I entered the UK I did so under an HSMP visa, a visa scheme that has now been phased out. My visa is good until 2011 but I am aware of a movement to start purging these fair shores of the dreaded foreigners who are taking British jobs.

Additionally, the government is making noises to change the way people can enter and stay. Later this year people who seek citizenship will be facing probationary periods and "good character" requirements that include X hours of volunteering for the community. Volunteering is such a practical option for someone like me, who works full time, has a house that needs attention and then there's the small matter of the two toddlers I'm raising.

I now qualify for indefinite leave to remain, a little matter which will cost me £750 and passing the Life in the UK test. Alternatively, I could pay £655, pass the Life in tke UK test, and become a citizen. Bargain.

The truth is, it's important to me to try for citizenship for two reasons:

1) I have a real concern that they're going to start clamping down hard on foreigners coming and staying. They're overhauling a lot of the current rules and schemes and making it that much harder to get in.
2) It's important to me to have the same passports as my children, who are also dual citizens. If I get UK citizenship then I am also a member of the EU. Should things get really bad here then as a family we can move and work anywhere in the EU. This kind of flexibility is important to someone as paranoid as I am.

I will keep my US citizenship, by the way. They allow dual citizenship here and I would never revoke my US citizenship. But it's strange - I feel as though if I can get UK citizenship then the future has a lot more in the way of options.

My application (and £655, which is not something I can really afford right now) and whole swath of supporting documentation and paperwork head into the government on the 6th of March.

I take the test the 3rd of March. I'm both worried and not worried - I want to pass, but seriously one of the lines in the official study guide was "In the UK, homes are serviced by running water in the kitchen and bathrooms."

Oh Jesus. That's what that shiny silver thing in the sink is then. As though people who have been living here for 5 years now hadn't worked that one out yet.

Here's to hoping it's all smooth sailing, unlike the last time I had to apply for a visa.

-H.

PS-thanks to everyone who pushed me over the 25,000 mark yesterday. The 24,999th comment was made by the wonderful Vicki, and the 25,000th comment was nailed by March 31st birthday girl Mitzi. Love to both of you, masses of respect, and I'll think of some kind of reward, Mitzi.

Update - fuck. An extremely helpful email from T (hi T!) enlightened me a bit. As I'm here under an HSMP visa - which means I have to work, have no access to services, and contribute a large portion of my salary to taxes - I have to get indefinite leave to remain first. And I have to have it for 12 months before I'm allowed to apply for citizenship. I have to pay both the £750 and the £655, and I have to wait another year. Three years ago they moved the requirement for residency from four years to five. Now it's five to six. I'm just chasing moving goalposts.

Fuck.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 09:54 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
Post contains 815 words, total size 5 kb.

1 Phew!!! I missed it by one!! I can still play the lottery! Congrats on 25,000! I think 24,999 was the REAL milestone personally! :-)

Posted by: Vicki at February 20, 2009 11:52 AM (2VoLW)

2 Wear a low-cut shirt to your test. It's the only reason I have a California drivers license. I mean seriously, they ought to avoid asking people from Boston when U-turns are legal. The answer is "when I fucking feel like it, and if it's going left in a one-way street, I can do that, too, because I'm a Masshole."

Posted by: D at February 20, 2009 12:39 PM (Nim4v)

3 You will do fine! I was freaking out about the test and so totally studied up the ying yang. Even bought a supplement question study book. Some of the stuff the books cover are hilarious. Like did I really need to know they recruited bus drivers from the West Indies in the 50s?? And why did I quiz my British friends and co-workers and they didn't even know half of it!?! (Although fair enough - I know I would fail the US citizenship test - it is so much harder!) The day of the test I finished it in like 4 mins and when I applied for my ILR they told me I got all of them right. Sweet! I wanted to apply for my citizenship asap (for all the reasons you mentioned above) however I didn't quite make the residency qualifying time (visa break...).

Posted by: Lee at February 20, 2009 12:53 PM (yUcAa)

4 I can't remember if you are married or not - but I think not - assuming they haven't changed the law recently it would be quicker I think if you were. A step too far?

Posted by: Betty M at February 20, 2009 02:11 PM (q0m9f)

5 Good luck, Helen.

Posted by: Jen R. (aaron-n-jen.com) at February 20, 2009 04:01 PM (OpFYt)

6 The whole overhaul of the British immigration system is just ridiculous - it pisses me off that we're going in the direction of, say, Canada or Australia, with their fundamentally deeply xenophobic immigration systems. Has anyone ever thought of the fact that the most basic services in this country are run by immigrants, because UK/EU citizens don't want those jobs? Or has anyone ever considered the huge contributions (in terms of tax) made by immigrants like you? ARRRGH. Sorry for the rant, but I seriously feel for you. The research I undertook for my thesis had to do with immigrant (migrant domestic workers, to be precise), so I feel quite strongly about the whole thing! Good luck with it! I hope the Home Office will suck a bit less than the usual for you...

Posted by: Vanina at February 20, 2009 06:15 PM (/HHdG)

7 I have ILR, and if you want it, I'll sell it to you for £749 for the first instalment, and £654 for the second. I think it's a fair deal.

Posted by: MsPrufrock at February 20, 2009 11:17 PM (CA+L6)

8 Agghhh - so expensive and tedious! We're kind of going through the same thing in reverse, my english partner's trying to get american greencard. So many silly rules. He had to have $250 worth of lab tests to make sure he didn't have any contagious diseases. Interesting, since the test came AFTER he'd already been living in the US for 4 years! Bureaucracy's a bitch. Best of luck to you, I'm sure it will work out fine.

Posted by: Jungletwins at February 22, 2009 08:46 AM (wyPEC)

9 Sorry about the moving goal posts, I know you have been through all kinds of shit to get the visas, etc. Hang in there, and ifyou like, I will send a sternly worded letter to the asshole of your choice.

Posted by: sophie at February 22, 2009 09:07 AM (XxDnO)

10 Wow...amazing....I honestly think getting to read your blog is reward enough.

Posted by: Mitzi at February 23, 2009 02:43 AM (zTrKx)

11 The Life in the UK test is pretty easy! I'm eligible for citizenship in August but not sure if I can afford it yet!

Posted by: Juls at February 23, 2009 11:23 AM (Iqz8+)

12 Bummer on the moving goalposts. But you'll get there eventually.

Posted by: physics geek at February 23, 2009 06:30 PM (MT22W)

13 Argh. But we Brits WANT you. Yes we do. Take me along and I will batter them with my old (navy, in a PROPER cover) British passport and bellow plummily (you know I do plummy), 'She is staying, do you hear me young man? STAYING! And let us have no more nonsense!'

Posted by: May at February 23, 2009 11:43 PM (3jesX)

14 Good luck. BTW checked out good reads website and joined. Looking at you books seems we like many of the same books. Thanx.

Posted by: Charles at February 24, 2009 02:20 AM (maQJG)

15 Well that's rubbish! ILR used to be free and I have a stamp in my old (US) passport saying I have it, but I'd now have to pay huge wodges to transfer it to my new one - or carry my old US passport if travelling on my new US passport. So I carry the old one (or travel on my UK passport).

Posted by: Katie at February 24, 2009 08:09 PM (UaL+O)

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We've run into a problem. We have a diagnosis, a horrible one, that we are trying to undertand, face, and stare down as a family. It first started the other day, we first witnessed it in Nora. We thought it was nothing.

We were wrong.

There she was, a dark red color in her face. Head thrashing, limbs stiff, back straight as a board. Immobile, her whole body jerking exhaustingly. We couldn't believe it - our sweet-faced little girl. Her body was out of control, her features unrecognizable.

We consulted experts. We sought advice. We read up.

There's nothing to do. She's a sufferer. We're sufferers.

We watch our little girl lay flat on the ground, twitching and bright red. The sounds coming from her mouth gutteral and vicious. She becomes somone else, trransformed into something almost feral. We clear the area around her so that she can't hurt herself and wait for it to subside.

We take one look at her, her confiscated toy that she has stolen from her brother dangling helplessly in our hands. She thrashes, she jerks, she screams. We walk away to show we cannot and will not help her.

Nora has discovered temper tantrums.

*sigh*

-H.

PS-I should potentially hit my 25,000th comment today. That seems like a big number to me. That's a big number, right? So, if you make the 25,000th comment then I'll...um....I'll respect you in the morning. And I'll tell everyone you made the comment and that you're my new best friend. And you'll be rewarded in some way. I've not worked out what that way is yet but there'll be something.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 08:59 AM | Comments (49) | Add Comment
Post contains 278 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Is it me? Is it me?

Posted by: Super Sarah at February 19, 2009 09:52 AM (0TP8F)

2 Ah yes, the temper tantrum. My toddler stood next to me today and screamed her little head off because I said 'no'. I swear, I could almost see her insides her mouth was that wide.

Posted by: Veronica at February 19, 2009 10:14 AM (l5geK)

3 Oh boy... the temper tantrum... that's heavy... but has she got 'Stranger Danger' yet? Oh.My.Word I'm nannying for a few weeks and I have been put through the ringer with that... Finally... after 4 weeks and HOURS of screaming we appear to be through the worst... but, man, it's a killer...

Posted by: Deeleea at February 19, 2009 10:22 AM (IphB3)

4 Ah, the tantrum days. I remember them well. And they come back in teenage years too! Just a little different, they are verbal. Not sure which is worse!

Posted by: justme at February 19, 2009 10:22 AM (RZW65)

5 Oh God. Nora's been texting Harry. Obviously. I saw him preparing notes for Tantrum Master Classes 'Show 'Em Your Teeth' & 'Manage Your Headbanging Effectively' last week, but I didn't know who was the lucky recipient. We took Harry to Tesco's cafe for my desired birthday chip buttie on Sunday, and left in a profuse sweat. It had taken two able bodied adults Everything They Had in order to restrain Harry from wrecking the place and assaulting the other - well, let's call them diners, shall we? And he still ended up stood on the table at one point. Let the good times roll!

Posted by: Hairy Farmer Family at February 19, 2009 10:34 AM (lpNi6)

6 Oh heck! Temper tantrums! My niece has some crackers! Very impressive when she gets going but seems to stop as suddenly as she starts! Hope Nick doesn't join in any time soon!

Posted by: Suzie at February 19, 2009 11:02 AM (zJPh8)

7 I recognized the symptoms immediately! My son is a bit younger than your two so I'm ummm proud at how advanced he is! Yeah, that's it, I'm proud! I've decided it's genetic since I've seen similar symptoms from his dad on occasion! Good luck!

Posted by: Vicki at February 19, 2009 11:59 AM (2VoLW)

8 The joy of reading your blog is more than any of us could want for a reward... P.S. Some days I want to throw tantrums myself....

Posted by: Mitzi at February 19, 2009 12:11 PM (JooGi)

9 Ooh, sounds fun. Good luck with that! Maybe it's just a passing phase? Isn't that how that works?

Posted by: Erin at February 19, 2009 12:50 PM (IPMSz)

10 We discovered the joy of tantrums a few months ago. Some days I just want to stab out my ear drums with a fork.

Posted by: Dotty at February 19, 2009 12:52 PM (0hLIO)

11 I remember the first time my youngest sister had a temper tantrum (or the first one I remember vividly, anyway.) She wanted a candy bar when we were going through the grocery line, and my mother said no. She started whining, Mom still said no. Then my sister started shrieking and threw herself on the floor in the cash register aisle. My mother told the people in the other lines and behind us that she didn't want to give in to my little sister and reward her for the tantrum, because she'd be worse next time. They all nodded their understanding, and my mother kept loading the groceries on the register belt over my sister. Then my mother calmly paid for her groceries, and turned to my still shrieking sister and said "we're going to the car now, you can come or just lay here on the floor. " My mother and the oldest three of us walked out, and two minutes later my sister came out looking pretty sheepish. No more public tantrums, although there were more at home. Thank goodness the doors were built well. Good luck!

Posted by: Genie Hughes at February 19, 2009 01:03 PM (6zvrq)

12 Our son had it once. My husband lay himself down on the ground and screamed like mad similar to the little one and then we went off to the kitchen and ignored it. He never did it again. And to the "mine" and "yours": every person needs his/her own personal things. What if you gave both of them a little box where they put a few personal toys in and can say "This is mine!"

Posted by: Paula at February 19, 2009 01:08 PM (Nm4nm)

13 Ooo...that scared me there for a minute! Ugh, the tantrum - we have them over here too. My favorite new trick is when he goes stiff as a board while I am in a parking lot somewhere, trying to buckle him into his carseat. Good times. Shrieking and stiff as a board and wailing like he is being tortured...and I am sure some day a passerby is gonna call the cops. Sigh.

Posted by: Kate at February 19, 2009 01:12 PM (hAQtj)

14 Ah yes. Justme nailed it. The teenage tantrums are worse IMHO. I was always more amused than anything else by the toddler tantrums.

Posted by: ~Easy at February 19, 2009 01:29 PM (IVGWz)

15 Tantrums are like the flu. If you catch it and address it immediately, you can shorten the duration drastically. : ) But if you just let it run its course unchecked, it can go on forever and make you miserable. My encouragement (and what we've done with Angel3) is to find out what they like the least and do it. If it's time-out, spanking, walking away, or something else, do what will stop the tantrums. Otherwise what should be a mildly unpleasant 2 to 8 week training period can turn into the terrible twos and trying threes. You can't stop every tantrum, but you sure can help avoid future tantrums with a little patience, consistency, and perseverance. As a friend of mine always says, "Learn to expect the behavior you're willing to tolerate." Good luck...to both of us.

Posted by: Solomon at February 19, 2009 01:39 PM (T4HxB)

16 My mom swears by putting the tantruming child (me) into the shower and turning the water on cold.

Posted by: Marian at February 19, 2009 02:21 PM (ZD4nv)

17 Comment Lotto. A fun game all can play. Hope you survive the tantrums, but you still have the "terrible two's" to survive through. Enrolled my oldest for high school last night, those milestones just keep coming at you.

Posted by: Matt at February 19, 2009 02:29 PM (/n9kT)

18 The early toddler tantrums are at least rational. You can understand why she's upset when someone takes her toy. When they get a little older and more independent, they will decide things need to be done a certain way, their way, but they will not inform you and will pitch a fit when you get it wrong. Hope you've been working on developing ESP. Good thing they're cute! Even red-faced and screaming. I second the carry-on-as-if-nothing-is-happening advice.

Posted by: a at February 19, 2009 02:30 PM (bRiGr)

19 Phew, I was panicking there for a moment. Good to know it's "only" temper tantrums, haha. We are experiencing tantrums beyond your wildest dreams right now. They are obscene, and the most exhausting experience I've ever had. The other day The Dude was ready to get rid of her - he didn't even need money. Sigh.

Posted by: MsPrufrock at February 19, 2009 02:37 PM (37O6C)

20 25,000.. your my hero!

Posted by: Tracey at February 19, 2009 02:41 PM (jgdKP)

21 Your description was hilarious once I discovered you meant temper tantrums instead of some dreaded siezure inducing disease. Holy cow. Now - next time, take pictures - discreetly, of course, because the walking away and not engaging is the important part and you've got that nailed. Something about having the pictures to show your grandchildren one day - or at least know that you can if you want to.

Posted by: Lisa at February 19, 2009 02:43 PM (YEsan)

22 My son had one of those once. I laughed uncontrollably - what? It was funny . . . and then, he was embarrassed that I was laughing and he stopped. We've never had one again. Whew! Once? Funny. More than once? I'd have been suicidal.

Posted by: oddybobo at February 19, 2009 03:07 PM (mZfwW)

23 I think the prize should be the Aubergine! Abs x

Posted by: abs at February 19, 2009 04:00 PM (HeMyj)

24 I was scared there at first. Not that temper tantrums aren't scary. How did she get old enough for a temper tantrum?

Posted by: donna at February 19, 2009 04:24 PM (xSk7G)

25 Oh dear... good luck! We still have them occasionally, usually when she's overtired or overhungry. I got BITTEN ON THE THIGH as I was hauling her tantruming ass to time-out on Tuesday. For your amusement: f l i c k r . com/photos/sarahmichelef/210559402/ (really? I can't post links to F L I C K R? sigh.)

Posted by: Sarah at February 19, 2009 04:24 PM (D37sb)

26 Please, please don't say that this is the inevitable fate we are going to suffer with my sweet-faced baby niece?!?

Posted by: redsaid at February 19, 2009 04:53 PM (A1CeF)

27 we'll see if i can make a comment without too many typos made by the 8 month old on my lap. megan (another one of those 8 month olds) started throwing tanturms at 3 months. we're in for it with her, i can tell. i hate to break it too you, but like justme said, they never stop. the tantrums take on different forms. i'm sure you've witness the pouty stomp off with melissa, we've seen it a lot in emma (the 10 year old) lately. i wish you and angus well while suggesting you buy ear plugs in bulk. it all reminds me of a video i once saw on america's funniest home videos (oh yes, i watch that show, i have no shame!) of a toddler having a tantrum. he would stop when he noticed his mother was out of the room and then started looking for her. once he found her he threw himself down on the floor in a very dramatic way and started all over again. kids r fun (damn spammers keeping me from commenting?!)

Posted by: Michele at February 19, 2009 04:56 PM (rXEzC)

28 Man, you really had me going with this! Now I've never been a parent before but that must've been a moment you'll never soon forget. Did I get 25,000?

Posted by: Ernie E at February 19, 2009 05:02 PM (1EvX5)

29 I agree with Solomon. I have found that the best way to end a tantrum is to remove the child from the situation. Take them to a safe place where you can deal with him/her one-on-one in a calm way. If you let them scream it out or ignore them it just adds fuel to their already burning fire. If that means leaving the store with a full cart - do it. If that means carrying the child out of a restaurant and dealing with them in the car - do it. If you let the behavior continue, it will because they think it's the best way to 1) get your attention, and 2) get their way, even if it isn't the best thing for them. My daughter once went ballistic in Applebees when my parents were with us. She wanted a balloon and I wouldn't let her have one because we were just served dinner. To get back at me, she took her kids basket and flipped it over on the table. I picked up the food, put it back in the basket, and took my daughter to the car. I told my parents to take their time and continue their meal, to get my food boxed up. My daughter and I went out to the van where she proceeded to scream for about 20 minutes. I held her and talked to her quietly and when she calmed down, I told her why we had to leave the restaurant. She didn't get her balloon and she learned why she had to listen to mom. She still had her tantrum, but it was in a safe place and she learned that she can't use public places, intimidation, and embarrassment to get her way. Plus, the other patrons in the restaurant didn't have their meal ruined because of a screaming child. Consistency is the key when dealing with tantrums.

Posted by: Trainy at February 19, 2009 05:28 PM (/0a60)

30 I dunno - as long as she isn't still throwing full blown temper tantrums as an adult (there is a viral video email thing of a grown woman doing just that) I suspect that this trying time will pass - and some day you will look back on it and smile. My Gameboy used to run as fast as he could toward a wall (or door) stop short and gently bop his head on the wall (or door). It was quite the dramatic display & I am sure we were supposed to think he'd done it all with the speed & ferocity of his run. Thankfully, at 16, he's finally outgrown this

Posted by: cursingmama at February 19, 2009 05:37 PM (PoQfr)

31 OMG .... the worst thing must be that she is so bloomin cute she can get away with anything!!

Posted by: moira at February 19, 2009 05:51 PM (UGBIN)

32 Tantrums are evil, but they do pass. Although my oldest is 18..... Ok, maybe they don't pass. But one can hope, right?

Posted by: grace at February 19, 2009 06:36 PM (8OGiU)

33 You comment-whore. She said sweetly. You panicked me for a moment there about Nora. I thought the poor lamb had developed epilepsy or something. I remember my niece doing the roaring, sobbing, thrashing thing, and then STOPPING IN THE MIDDLE TO LOOK AT US AND SEE HOW WE WERE TAKING IT. We promptly peed ourselves laughing. So Minx bit me next time. Talk about upping the auntie.

Posted by: May at February 19, 2009 06:56 PM (3jesX)

34 Oh man, you scared me for a sec there, I was sure there was some life threatening illness!

Posted by: Amanda at February 19, 2009 08:09 PM (Lcghc)

35 am I your best friend? am I??? am I?? ps... love how you describe the tantrums, cant wait to hear how his higness copies her

Posted by: stinkerbell at February 19, 2009 08:28 PM (O3iDX)

36 greetings from a long time lurker in indiana!

Posted by: jennifer at February 19, 2009 08:33 PM (CWX/k)

37 its just gotta be me!! I need a new best friend! My old best friend Jack Daniels has gone away to find a new best friend He ran off, and now has a coke problem.... *sigh* time for a temper tantrum! hugs! (loved the cyprus adventures by the way!) annie

Posted by: Annie at February 19, 2009 09:02 PM (mxAK2)

38 You scared me crap out of me...I thought you were going to say she was epileptic. Comparatively, that makes tantrums sound much better. On the other hand, I don't have a live-in-baby, just nieces and nephews who I can pawn off when they get annoying...or remind them that when I was young, their parents liked to hang me upside down from my ankles, and I have no qualms about paying them back through a new generation (which is both untrue and physically impossible as I have no upper arm strength, but they don't know that). I'm probably late on the 25,000 thing, but do I get something if I'm like the 25,012nd comment?

Posted by: D at February 19, 2009 09:44 PM (2Q9WD)

39 Abigail does it. I locked her outside once. She didn't like that at all and stopped quite quickly. Next time, however, she didn't. Her favourite thing to do is to rip her shoes off her feet and hurl them - so if you're quick, and anticipate, you can beat her to it. She doesn't like that much

Posted by: melanie at February 19, 2009 10:11 PM (9jW6T)

40 Callie started with the tantrums months ago - she breaks out what we call "the devil voice" - starts speaking in tongues. It's lovely.

Posted by: Carol at February 19, 2009 11:15 PM (Dx6hu)

41 Ok so for some reason on my bloglines at work I only get the first few lines, and our web blocker won't let me view your site so I've been super stressed out at what was wrong with Nora!!! Phew. Glad to know she's just joined the ranks of toddlerhood!!!!

Posted by: kim at February 20, 2009 01:47 AM (lWjPZ)

42 Another stuffed eggplant would make an EXCELLENT comment winner gift! oOo, also, your entry about your trip rocked. Maybe the same "narrated by a veggie pillow" style would work well for a kids' book?

Posted by: Meg at February 20, 2009 01:47 AM (75WzH)

43 Congrats on the comment milestone! It is a big number and it's impressive. If only each commenter had left you $1

Posted by: ig at February 20, 2009 03:07 AM (fCvsS)

44 Hell if it's me you don't have to respect me in the morning. Just link to my blog.

Posted by: Siera at February 20, 2009 03:30 AM (ZrQDr)

45 How do you count your comments? I'd be honored to be your 25,0000ish person!

Posted by: kenju at February 20, 2009 04:58 AM (shDit)

46 I admit it. I panicked at first. Thank goodness Nora is only has the Terrible Twos in her sights. heh Good luck with that one! P.S. Why can't I post the URL of my blog? It doesn't like squarespace!

Posted by: Ice Queen at February 20, 2009 05:11 AM (nqxVT)

47 Holy Cow! 25,000 comments? If that isn't a testament to your writing, I'm not sure anything is! I sort of freaked a little when I read your first paragraph. Thank goodness it's "only" tantrums. Welcome to the terrible twos! I'll be joining you shortly, I'm sure. Sigh.

Posted by: Stacie at February 20, 2009 05:47 AM (p6L8W)

48 tantrum? When she's 15 and calls you fucking bitch, give me a call. I'll come over with martins.

Posted by: vodkamom at February 20, 2009 11:14 AM (BlI+x)

49 Holy freaking cow, I was too tired to see it coming! I'm glad it's nothing that another 23 years won't cure. (I've determined that children finally realize at about age 25 that their parents are worth knowing again.) Hang in there! It can make for a wild ride. :-)

Posted by: Tonya at February 24, 2009 06:09 AM (CruUo)

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The cavalry arrived last night with far too much luggage and big smiles for the babies. I told the nursery that my family may or may not be dropping off the babies at nursery, and got the necessary permissions for it.

"What do your family look like?" I was asked, as they got the authorization for someone other than Angus or I to pick them up.

I thought of my blond-haired blue-eyed babies and then of my Japanese father and stepmom. "Imagine two people who couldn't possibly look any less like the babies if they tried. It's those two."

My folks brought peanut butter, a dozen bagels, and for reasons best known to themselves, a massive tub of salad.

"Oh good," Angus said holding up the giant thing of salad. "You can't get lettuce leaves over here."

"I didn't think you could," my dad replied. We don't serve him much salad as he will only eat the lettuce, we eat it often when he's not around. But somehow he thinks salads are rarities and so decides to fly with his own. Whatever floats his boat.

I'm currently sat next to my dad on the couch, trying to help him organize his iTunes. He's absolutely useless at anything to do with the computer and every time he comes here Angus has to help him fix something that has gone wrong with the computer. Or so my dad says, but usually the problem is located between the keyboard and the chair. Every time I roll my eyes and ask him what the hell he's done now, he looks at me.

"I fly jets," he replies.

"Jets are just giant computers," I counter. Then: "You know what, scratch that. I'd rather not know about the computer competence involved in the current selection of airline pilots." Particularly as I'm getting on an airplane tomorrow.

My dad manages to dress himself and fly airplanes, I suppose I can cut him a little slack on how he manages his laptop.

Until then, I'm hanging with my people. I've supplied a Valentine's Day card for him to give my stepmom, and will be getting him a gift to give her as well. His grovelling has made my support worth it. My dad may be a bit useless, but this morning when we dropped the babies off at nursery Nora - who is absolutely a Mummy's Girl - turned around and reached up for my dad to pick her up.

My dad melted and did so.

Something's going right, anyway.

I'm off to Cyprus. See you on Tuesday.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 11:28 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
Post contains 441 words, total size 2 kb.

1 'Between the keyboard and the chair...' ROFL!

Posted by: Hairy Farmer Family at February 12, 2009 11:56 AM (UA0QP)

2 Have fun!

Posted by: Julie at February 12, 2009 12:21 PM (o4EL2)

3 Have a fabulous time, you deserve it!

Posted by: s at February 12, 2009 12:25 PM (zJPh8)

4 Have fun! I hope you have a great time!

Posted by: Erin at February 12, 2009 01:27 PM (IPMSz)

5 Have a wonderful time!

Posted by: Melissia at February 12, 2009 01:56 PM (IBnue)

6 Have a great vacation! I hope you find time to take at least a few pictures!

Posted by: Lisa at February 12, 2009 02:59 PM (YEsan)

7 Have a great time!

Posted by: justme at February 12, 2009 03:02 PM (pp/5D)

8 Jealous! I have friends in Nicosia. ::sigh:: Enjoy your holiday! L

Posted by: lynD at February 12, 2009 03:35 PM (2F9Ak)

9 have a great time!

Posted by: stephanie at February 12, 2009 03:44 PM (paCk2)

10 My dad has been working in computer software since computers were the size and shape of houses. He can write technical manuals to install programs with wonky names, magically make deleted files reappear, and use programs I can't pronounce. He cannot, however, make his phone play a ringtone, use iTunes, or use uppercase letters in a text message. It makes me a little sad to think that there's a technology wall that his generation hits and can't seem to pass.

Posted by: D at February 12, 2009 07:01 PM (4jXOZ)

11 Have a great trip...

Posted by: Erica at February 12, 2009 07:17 PM (MnSSx)

12 Enjoy Cypus! (Envy envy envy).

Posted by: May at February 12, 2009 07:57 PM (3jesX)

13 Hope you have a great trip

Posted by: Amanda at February 12, 2009 10:54 PM (cqrWD)

14 I hope you are having a fabulous holiday - you deserve it!

Posted by: Carol at February 13, 2009 10:37 PM (Dx6hu)

15 I'm just catching up to all the "letters to my heart" and am so glad. there is so much beauty in them. I particularly love this line in yours: That when silly, light-headed romantic love fades what lies beneath is something infinitely more strong, more wonderful, and more real than you ever whispered to me in the dark when we were young. absolutely lovely! I will definitely be back.

Posted by: WASHWORDS at February 16, 2009 01:49 AM (GhM6c)

16 First of all, I hope that you have a very nice trip!! =) Secondly, since I am new around here, I checked our your about page and then your letters with Kim and some old blog posts. And while I am so very happy for you finally having the babies you dreamed of and waited for so long, and while I am thrilled that you have found a love in Angus that is all-encompassing (or whatever other term shows up in a thesaurus), I am also so deeply, profoundly sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Sarah at February 16, 2009 03:15 AM (ETSTJ)

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...which, I'm sorry, but she does. I can't understand why there is no social responsibility for the fact that she already has 6 children (all under the age of 7)and just had octuplets. And she doesn't work. And she lives at home. And she only wanted them because she has Only Child Syndrome and didn't want a small family and simply loves babies. I'll tell you, I love babies too. Seriously. But at some point you are not there for one of your children if you have more than one of the same age, and I can say that because I have twins. There are times when one doesn't get as much attention as the other. What are you going to do with 14 children now? Hmmmm?

Rant aside, there are child issues afoot over here, too.

Over Christmas we saw real changes with Melissa and Jeff. Melissa has well and truly become a teenager now, she's stroppy, easygoing, moody, fun, and annoying. On Christmas Day she went into a right tiff, decided to lay on the kitchen counter and be a little shit, and write on her Facebook page that she was sooooooooo depressed. Which of course her mother picked up on like Batman recognizing the Bat Symbol, as the Swunt is a contact on Melissa's page.

Melissa never did tell us what was bothering her, but then maybe she doesn't even know herself. I think maybe she was just having One Of Those Teen Days. I sure had them, I know others did, too.

She recently annoyed me when we told them that we weren't going away on a family holiday the end of February, like we usually do. The kids have off next week and the week after, and we often take family holidays. But this year Angus and I have work deadlines and, more than that, we're worried about money. We have a travel savings account with some money in it, but we're of the opinion that money saved is best kept that way just now. We work in an unstable industry, both of us, and we worry. We told the kids that we would all go away in June, and got a response from Melissa that was along the lines of "I'm not coming if you wait until June. I want to go now."

Angus shrugged. "Looks like we'll be travelling without her then, eh?"

I have a problem with Melissa though, in that she doesn't contribute to the housework at all. If she has breakfast her bowl sits by the couch, where she's parked watching MTV (after rising at noon) until you move it. She will clean things up but only if you ask her. I told the kids last time to be diligent about getting dirty clothes into the hamper. The day they were due to leave I am told she wants to wash everything as "she wants it to smell like our house". Nice sentiment, but guess who did the washing?

Angus and I talked about it and he's going to speak to her about things. This is her other house, not her holiday house. She does not get a break from chores because she's here, this is a household and she has to contribute to the running of it. I think she'll do it and I really truly love the kid, but she isn't the easiest thing in the world since teendom has hit.

And then there's Jeff.

Jeff.

Jeff, who at Christmas, was the recipient of an financial arrangement from me. I went to him with a deal. He's saving up his money for an XBox, and I told him that if he would babysit the babies for me whenever I asked throughout the duration of his stay, then I'd give him £20.

He looked at me, confused. "You'll pay me £20 for playing with the babies when you need to do something?"

"Yeah, is that ok?" I ask him.

"Well, sure. But Helen, you don't need to pay me. I'll watch them for free."

That went straight to my heart, where it still lingers and I pull it out on the days when I know the sun isn't coming out.

Jeff followed through on my request and everytime I asked him to babysit he did without hesitation. He also helped me clean the entire house and tidy the garage one day so I gave him £40 in the end instead of the offered £20. I felt he earned it.

Melissa and Jeff have moved out to the country now. The Swunt's moved them. They seem happier there, and Jeff likes his school a lot. But he's really struggling with things.

They've lost their satellite so Jeff's access to English TV is gone. With that gone, he has little interest in the TV. He loves the computer but he gets a lot of shit from the Swunt about it, so he's taken to reading library books. He's actually very clever and inquisitive, and when he's here I have a great time with him.

We found out that the Swunt got a massive tax refund. We're talking...massive. So massive that they left most of their furniture behind in the old house and have bought all new, including new electronics. Jeff did a lot of research on what TV the family should get, checking things online and statistics on performance, but when he went to give input he was told "What could an 11-year old know about it?" Nice. Children always do well when you body chop them at the knees.

He's told me that the Swunt is buying another horse. I asked why, and the reason is so crazy it's almost surreal - when you ride one of the horses the one left behind in the stable gets lonely. So if they buy another horse then no horse in the stable needs to be left alone.

Sweet Jesus who knew the Girl Scouts handed out Crazy Badges?

See, that's what the problem is with me, people. I put my children above my equestrian needs. I should be all about ensuring my pets are happy. Screw childhood, let's all band together and scar a whole generation! Who's with me?

The Swunt and Jeff had another run-in last week. We've asked the Swunt if Jeff could come live with us and had the door kicked in our email faces. We're proposing he spend the summer here with us, to see if maybe he can have some time here. I'm very sure that will get rejected, too.

Jeff arrives next Wednesday. Melissa arrives the Monday after that. I can't wait to see both of them because I miss them when they're away.

-H.

PS - I signed up for Goodreads, as it was recommended by Pru. Come look me up and join me - I'm listed there as Helen Adelaide or helen@everydaystranger.eu (my IRL friends can suck it!). We can all use recommendations for good things to read, and you can gawk at some of the things I'm reading. I'm thinking of starting a virtual book club again. I was part of the fabulous Mel's, but am thinking of reviewing different kinds of books. Book clubs challenge me to read books I ordinarily wouldn't, and I love getting people's take on things. Anyone interested?

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 02:07 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
Post contains 1240 words, total size 7 kb.

1 Sure, I'm in for the book club.

Posted by: Jen R. (aaron-n-jen.com) at February 10, 2009 03:33 PM (OpFYt)

2 Count me in for a book club, I need inspiration of different things to read than just fantasy and IT books.

Posted by: Hannah at February 10, 2009 03:43 PM (lUH62)

3 Oh I am up for it! Just went and signed up. Couldn't find you tho. You don't come up in my find friends from your email. Did you use a different email than your yahoo addy?

Posted by: jusjtme at February 10, 2009 04:03 PM (pp/5D)

4 That book club sounds like a great idea, I definitely need to branch out from my typical genre of books.

Posted by: Karen at February 10, 2009 04:54 PM (IPcYy)

5 I hate to tell you this but the whole "Im on vacation and the maid will get it" is a teen thing. My teen does it, it happened overnight and it is sooooooo annoying. Prepare to ask and ask again and ask every single time or do it yourself. And if you want to watch them fly into a self-righteous rage suggest that you are tired of always having to ask. Prepare to hear about the one time they DID do it and the time they saw you pick up someone elses without saying ANYTHING you hypocritical a**hole who is obviously PICKING on her. Teenagers are AWESOME!!!

Posted by: That Girl at February 10, 2009 05:44 PM (hzryQ)

6 It's weird, I keep hearing your voice when I read your posts. Ok, that sounds creepy. I see that you've read most of the book I have up on Goodreads. Show-off.

Posted by: MsPrufrock at February 10, 2009 05:54 PM (CA+L6)

7 I'm so up for the book club, my reading has been pretty limited lately so a good kick in the a$$ wouldn't hurt. I wasn't the best teen, my room was a mess constantly, I hated my mother (although as an adult, that hasn't really changed) and I thought I knew everything. Yeah, I was a lot of fun for my parents I bet. Although to my defense I didn't ever leave dishes around :-)

Posted by: Angela at February 10, 2009 06:40 PM (DGWM7)

8 Right, I also wanted to say I'm glad that someone else thought it was irresponsible that the octuplet mom had another 8 to her already large family. Seriously, she lives with her mother, has no job, and yet was able to afford to have the embryos implanted? What the f..... Nothing like abusing the system, because seriously, there is no way she's able to financially support all 14 kids. If you want a huge family, and can afford to support a huge family, hey go ahead, but if you aren't supporting your present kids then you should probably consider that before having anymore... Anyway that's my commentary.

Posted by: Angela at February 10, 2009 06:47 PM (DGWM7)

9 Hrm...I would love to do a book club, but with the baby due, why am I thinking I may not get much reading done? Sorry things are hard with the kids. I think Jeff staying with you for a bit would be WONDERFUL for him - and for his relationship with Angus. As far as Melissa...even with my kids living with me, if I don't TELL THEM to pick things up, they don't. The house would be a disaster if I didn't nag incessantly, which is OH so much fun!

Posted by: Tracy at February 10, 2009 07:25 PM (eiiGE)

10 I've just joined and added you as a friend but forgot to add a comment...

Posted by: Katie at February 10, 2009 08:21 PM (UaL+O)

11 I signed up for Good Reads too. just checking out what other people thought of the last book my book club did. Need some virtual wine though. I'm afraid I was a vile teen along the lines of Melissa. I think I've grown out of it.

Posted by: Betty M at February 10, 2009 09:05 PM (U6tpa)

12 Helen, sorry I have been lurking for awhile, not commenting. I hate the Swunt and I dont even know her. I feel sorry for the kids and the way she puts herself first and manipulates them. They are very lucky to have you in their life. You are #1 mom in my book.

Posted by: Cheryl at February 10, 2009 10:55 PM (ASSfP)

13 I'm totally in for the book club, if you're allowing occasional lurkers. and if you are, a supercool friend of mine is totally in as well. if you're allowing strange girls from socal. we are dubious creatures, after all...

Posted by: MissK at February 11, 2009 01:36 AM (EM7ls)

14 Hi - My friend & I would totally be in for book club. Although isn't the first rule of book club not to talk about book club? Sorry if I've posted twice - didn't see my comment come up and I'm unreasonably excited about this matter.

Posted by: MissK at February 11, 2009 01:54 AM (EM7ls)

15 The Swunt continues to amaze, and not in a good way. I don't know why I'm shocked anymore when you give updates. - And I just asked to be your friend on Goodreads (and I feel so junior high -- will she be my friend???? ) because I like your taste in books. I'm in for the book club -- email me if you want help organizing it -- just b/c it was your idea doesn't mean you should have to do all the work (other people need to procrastinate too!)

Posted by: PHX Mama at February 11, 2009 04:17 AM (Xl39M)

16 Hiya, you can count me in for the book club, sounds good!

Posted by: Amanda at February 11, 2009 07:07 AM (xOr5U)

17 Not that you need my opinion but i will give it anyway! Melissa and Jeff are so lucky to have you and of course Angus. I would love to join the bookgroup. My IRL one is tonight but i have dislocated my shoulder and lets just say the medication for the pain is leaving me unable to type/speak coherently! Abs x

Posted by: abs at February 11, 2009 08:50 AM (DG7J/)

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It's about priorities.

Having them, knowing them, and not taking advantage of them.

Priorities.

For so long we've prioritized everything in our lives - the children, above all. Nick and Nora, but certainly Melissa and Jeff, who are a post in and of themselves this week. The house. Jobs. Money. Everything but us. And we started to suffer. Then we started to really suffer. Then we began to nearly fall apart.

Angus and I are prioritizing us now. We realize what nearly happened. I realized what nearly happened. And we are taking time for just us.

My dad and stepmom arrive on Wednesday. They're here to babysit. They're here to adore their grandbabies and be with them for almost a week.

Angus and I leave on Friday for four days in Cyprus. We are blowing air miles and going away and we even got an upgrade on the way. There will be sun and sea and sex.

We are staying in a fantastic-looking hotel. It's being paid for using one of those pre-paid credit cards my folks gave us last year as a joint birthday present.

We're going away, just the two of us, for the first time in almost 2 years. I am beside myself with excitment. I cannot wait to actually be away and to actually try to sleep. We need a break so badly it is almost unfathomable.

That I'm going away with my most favorite person in the world is the icing on the proverbial cake.

Priorities.

I have them, and sometimes I need to be reminded of them.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 10:37 AM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
Post contains 266 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Great news. Sort of like they say on airplane: place oxygenmask on yourself before those around you that may need help.

Posted by: Charles at February 09, 2009 10:56 AM (maQJG)

2 Exceedingly jealous but thoroughly pleased on your behalf! Soak up some of those lovely warm rays of sunshine for me!

Posted by: Hairy Farmer Family at February 09, 2009 11:08 AM (2cHGr)

3 Wowser! That hotel looks amazing! A perfect place to realign the priorities.

Posted by: Betty M at February 09, 2009 11:08 AM (lt+d+)

4 So glad for you and Angus! Relax,enjoy! It has been so long since My SO and I have been away together, I wonder what we would talk about all alone with no children lol. Hopefully we will have a chance to find out in 2009! Have a fabulous time Helen!

Posted by: jusjtme at February 09, 2009 11:14 AM (pp/5D)

5 Wow, enjoy!

Posted by: moira at February 09, 2009 11:19 AM (UGBIN)

6 i can't wait for the pics! Abs x

Posted by: abs at February 09, 2009 11:20 AM (pejJ8)

7 I am so happy for you and I envy you as well. I can't complain, I "go away" often... I go EAST every time I need to put gasoline in my car! I even leave my state! Why should I envy you?? :-) Have a great time!

Posted by: Vicki at February 09, 2009 11:45 AM (2VoLW)

8 How lovely! Have a fantastic time and enjoy being together, without any other stresses on your time. Can't wait to see the pictures of warm skies!

Posted by: Suzie at February 09, 2009 11:54 AM (zJPh8)

9 I hope you have a fabulous trip!!! Your babies will have lots of fun with their grandparents, who are probably getting the best treat time with the little ones. LOL.

Posted by: Amy at February 09, 2009 12:24 PM (Ex6XB)

10 Ditto to what Charles said. Have a good time!!

Posted by: ~Easy at February 09, 2009 01:57 PM (IVGWz)

11 Sounds heavenly. Good for you. I don't think I'll make it there in this lifetime. I do enjoy traveling vicariously through you though. Enjoy!

Posted by: Lisa at February 09, 2009 02:25 PM (YEsan)

12 It will do you a world of good! We did this last summer for five days in Mexico and it was heavenly. We even made a rule that we could only talk about serious relationship stuff while we were in the ocean, because how mad can you get when you are treading turquoise water? Enjoy!

Posted by: donna at February 09, 2009 03:27 PM (xSk7G)

13 All that sounds like great stress relief and just getting away from it all. Take lots of pics and you two have a fantastic time! Bahamas next time?

Posted by: Ernie E at February 09, 2009 06:03 PM (1EvX5)

14 Awesome!

Posted by: That Girl at February 09, 2009 08:50 PM (hzryQ)

15 I'm so happy for you! and thank your dad and step-mom for me

Posted by: kenju at February 09, 2009 10:26 PM (shDit)

16 HOORAY!! Have a fab holiday!!

Posted by: Patsy at February 09, 2009 10:42 PM (vXEc8)

17 Oh, I am so happy for you two! I wish for you a relaxing holiday filled with love, joy, and happiness! Enjoy!

Posted by: Stacie at February 10, 2009 02:03 AM (p6L8W)

18 I had to leave another comment because this? "We even made a rule that we could only talk about serious relationship stuff while we were in the ocean, because how mad can you get when you are treading turquoise water?" sounds like Heaven (or Nirvana, whatever) on Earth. I need a vacation like this someday.

Posted by: Lisa at February 10, 2009 05:08 AM (YEsan)

19 How fantastic! Enjoy yourselves and leave the computer at home. We don't want to hear from you for the week. ;-)

Posted by: D at February 10, 2009 01:00 PM (Zgqmj)

20 You're leaving this place for Cyprus? Pfft. You must be mad. Enjoy your time away. You deserve it, dagnubbit!

Posted by: MsPrufrock at February 10, 2009 02:31 PM (Lorry)

21 People do make the mistake of always putting the kids (and everything else) first thinking, "there's always tomorrow." As we know, that day doesn't come for more than half of us. Glad to see you and Angus taking steps to protect your precious love! Enjoy!

Posted by: Julie at February 11, 2009 12:47 AM (NQvwn)

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I'm really a product of TV. TV is living. TV is the air, the wind, and the fire. To hell with that love stuff, that's just like the caramel on top of the already spectacular hot fudge sundae you've got brewing. I'm like Frank Cross was - my childhood was TV, and my adulthood loves it just as much as the young me (albeit with far less viewing time than I used to have).

I use TV a lot in my daily life. I quote things constantly. When I need to take the trash out and am getting a new bin liner, I sing "I want some trash bags!" which is a little ditty I hear on The A-Team when I was about 11. When organizing meetings I still sign things off with "Your Cruise Director Julie". While travelling I used to say, as we headed to the airport to go home, "Each time Sam hoped that the next leap would be the leap home." Because nothing screams "loser" quite like quoting Quantum Leap. I walk around saying "All right?" like Ness from Gavin and Stacy. And I still enjoy waving my arm around and saying "Welcome to Fantasy Island!" in an accent that would make Count Chocula drool cocoa-colored drool with envy.

It doesn't mean people always get me. When I would hold one of the babies above my head and shout "Kunta kinte!" no one got what I was throwing at them. Likewise, when one of the kids is screaming their heads off, I arch an eyebrow and say "That doesn't look like happy to see me." (which is actually from a horrible film with Gwenyth Paltrow and Michael Douglas, but I saw it on TV so it counts.) My new favorite is to preface a discussion with: "The facts were these" in a voice as like the Pushing Daisies one as I can get.

Often it causes Angus a lot of grief.

The other day he came home from the gym in the evening to be met with me standing in the doorway.

"If you dump me, promise you won't get a lifelike doll to screw around with instead of a person."

"The thought hadn't crossed my mind."

"Good. Because it's happening on C.S.I. New York right now and I would be really fucked off if you went off with a living doll."

"Got it."

And of course it causes relationship discussions.

"Many years from now, when I'm old and grey, will you change my catheter?" I ask him in the kitchen. He buries his head in his hands in an "Oh God, what has she been watching on TV now?" motion.

"What?"

"I'm watching Brothers and Sisters and they brought it up. Years from now will you change my catheter?"

"Isn't that something for the professionals?"

"I don't think so."

"Oh right. That's a colostomy bag," he amends.

"Right. Yeah. So about the catheter?"

"Of course I will."

"Oh thank you. You do love me."

"I'm not going to love the job or anything, but I will do it."

And since I'm not asking him to jump for joy, I'll take it.

-H.

PS - Monday night I took an ambien and slept 7 hours. Last night, I slept 1 hour. I'm going back to the doctor. I can't take much more of this.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 11:53 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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1 Do you get restless and do your hands start to quiver, once you do not put the TV on for some days? Kidding. I threw my old TV out of my room a few months ago, and - oh wonder - I can live without it for a few days. Sometimes I watch a little on a postcard size Mini TV besides my PC and it seems that I really do not care so much any more who is the murder, who won the soccer game or what is in the latest news.

Posted by: Paula at February 04, 2009 12:34 PM (Nm4nm)

2 I'm totally with you on this one. I am such a TV addict. Only I find I have to stop myself from saying things like "missed it by that much," because my husband would totally not get it.

Posted by: Erin at February 04, 2009 12:54 PM (IPMSz)

3 Have you tried Lunesta*? I hadn't slept more than four hours in a 72 hour period and my doc gave me some samples and they are awesome!

Posted by: Jen at February 04, 2009 01:28 PM (H5I1S)

4 I remember that "A-Team" episode where Murdock kept screaming, "Tuh-rash bags!! I want tuh-raaaash bags!!" And then he built a contraption where he filled all the trash bags with hot air and floated out of the prison. I got all your quotes except the "Quantum Leap" one. When it comes to tv, movies, and music of the '80s, I could go on a stinkin' game show and kick butt. But since the mid '90s I've become much less hooked on those things. If you want to wean yourself off tv shows slowly, just don't pick up new ones as the old ones go off. I've only got 3 that I watch regularly now. Has anyone seen "Burn Notice"? THAT is a phenomenal show!! : )

Posted by: Solomon at February 04, 2009 01:54 PM (x+GoF)

5 I think about fifty percent of what comes out of my mouth was hijacked from either "Friends" or "Saturday Night Live" skits. Which would be fine if people understood, but no one seems to, and it makes me quite the freak.

Posted by: D at February 04, 2009 02:33 PM (G/WTy)

6 I thought I was the only one who still channels Murdock when I buy or use a trash bag.

Posted by: donna at February 04, 2009 03:25 PM (xSk7G)

7 And here I thought I was the only one... BabyDaddy will be happy to hear that I'm not the only one that runs around spouting off random television quotes.

Posted by: amber at February 04, 2009 03:35 PM (y4djL)

8 Are you kidding me? Quantum Leap and A Perfect Murder are the awesomest TV show and movie, respectively. I don't care if I'm a lame-o.

Posted by: Jendeis at February 04, 2009 04:55 PM (oTrqs)

9 D, I could totally hang with you. At least for the Friends quotes. I might be a bit spotty on the SNL ones, depending on the season. My dad is also good at tossing in Friends quotes. We drive my mother nuts. PIVOT!!!! Hel, this is just another example of why we're soulmates. While I totally get the Roots thing, if you held a baby over your head, I'd bust out with a very [un]melodic Lion King cry. (That whole: "aaaa asemmmmmmmeeelaaaa!!!" or whatever the fuck. Amy and I do it all the time at each other.) Also, I got an eyeshadow a long time ago that said it was holographic. We referred to it as my Al-eyeshadow and made that little squibbllybbitt! noise every time I wore it. ...Al never appeared. Kinda a bust, really.

Posted by: Ms. Pants at February 04, 2009 11:10 PM (O/IRp)

10 Ask about Thorazine. Great sleep -best I ever had -sleep that is. Seriosl can be used as a sort of cheap cheaers test for psychosis. If 25-50 mg does not put you to sleep you may well be psychotic. Trazadone workw well for me. Good luck.

Posted by: Charles at February 05, 2009 01:39 AM (maQJG)

11 As someone who quotes everything from Gilligan's Island and the Brady Bunch to the Princess Bride and Monty Python's Holy Grail, I sympathize with you (and with those around you). The sleep issue I am no help with. I tried Trazodone once and it was ... overly rest-enhancing. With two small children at home and a teen prone to violent outbreaks, it was not a good idea at the time. Also, the night thirsties and sweats were horrendous - for me; it might be different for you. And I will admit, the first couple nights of "sleep-of-the-dead" were very welcome at the time (in retrospect, and considering nothing bad happened while I was passed out). I really do hope you are able to find some relief, because insomnia can drive a person to kill another person who happens to cross their path in the wrong direction at just the right moment.

Posted by: Lisa at February 05, 2009 04:52 AM (YEsan)

12 If 25-50 mg does not put you to sleep you may well be psychotic. Wow. Totally reassuring.

Posted by: Helen at February 05, 2009 08:21 AM (wuta+)

13 My husband and I quote Gavin and Stacey to death... mostly "OH! What's Occuring?". I got to interview Gavin (Mat Horne) for work this week and was disappointed that he was kind of a letch

Posted by: Alice at February 09, 2009 12:53 AM (R5lnx)

14 I remember the one-liner "I want some trash bags!" from Murdock while he was in prison. Amazing that such information is saved somewhere when you're 34 years old. Just for the fans -> "I love it when a plan comes together"

Posted by: Ernst at February 09, 2009 09:43 AM (NFIZm)

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God.

I'm so fucking tired it may be possible to keel over dead.

The insomnia is rough. Really rough. On Thursday night I had a grand total of one hour of sleep. One. Uno. En. You know what I mean. Saturday night I was up at 3 am. This morning? 5 am. I simply cannot sleep.

My nice doctor tells me that it's depression, and that if it continues he'll add another tablet to my anti-depressants, a little cocktail if you will. I feel that's a pretty slippery slope to ride on, I don't know if this is a good idea.

At the same time, I need some fucking sleep. I've tried it all - exercise. Melatonin. Despise milk warmed or otherwise, so gave that one a miss. Lavender oils, open windows, closed windows, have taken over-the-counter tablets and gotten trollied for the sake of some sleep, even if it means a hangover. And still. I'm stilll sleepless.

Advice for sleep welcome. Implored, even. Hell, I'll give you begged for.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 06:20 AM | Comments (38) | Add Comment
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