All of my friends are men.

Well, not all of them, I do have one female friend here in Sweden and a posse of three female friends from university, with whom I swap mails a few times a year.

But in general, all of my friends are male.

This makes me sound very posh, but the truth is, my total friendship circle is very small in number, I find having a large number of friends to be difficult at best, and a maintenance nightmare at worst. I just don't really get women-they tend to not forgive arguments, to be catty, and to be competitive. My male friends and I get in arguments that we both forget about pretty quickly, we can advise each other on everything from what color shirts to buy to the best sex positions, and they accept me as a token chick. And we have not once, any of us, crossed the line from friendship to lover (well, ok, it did happen once. But just the one guy!)

I am a chick, that's for sure. I can be a real girlie-girl. I love champagne, for example. I drive a small, very-girl car (but that's due to history-my first car ever was a 1979 Buick. Pick the largest car you have ever seen, and multiply it by 10. Yup, that's right. My first car was a fucking BOAT!) I like to wear strappy shoes and short skirts. Waxing is essential. I do not leave the house without wearing lipstick.

But in many ways, I am a bit of a guy. I like to drink beer (not with the champagne, of course). I love to have sex and don't feel the need to explore my feelings afterwards, it's ok with me if we both go to sleep, thank you very much. My fingernails are cut short and I have never filed them once in my entire life. On any given weekend, I am in a movie theatre at least once, usually taking down a packet of sour wine gums and an enormous diet coke. I change the tires on both cars by myself. And I am very soon fulfilling my dream and taking up kung fu. Yes, that's right. I am angry, hot-tempered, and soon I will be able to fight my way out of any situation (although I understand the point of martial arts is to avoid fighting. The truth is, I am taking it up since I think I need to discipline my anger a bit).

All of my friends are older, too. Significantly, in most cases. I find it easier to talk to people who have learned a bit about life, and whose sentence on the average day does not begin with "Man, I was so WASTED last night!" (note: it is ok to say that every once in a while. I myself have uttered such a sentence, usually with one hand blocking the sunlight from my eyes.)

So what is my point? Well, I wonder why it is that I can't get along with women, or people my own age. I'm sure my therapist would espouse something allong the lines of me having an Electra complex (in fact, she did indeed preach such prose) and maybe it's because I have always only been surrounded by women. Maybe I associate women with entagled emotions and trauma. And why are they older? Well, to go along with the therapist, maybe it's because I never experienced a real childhood, got to know my inner teenager...blah, blah, blah.

Or maybe I just have older male friends because I feel comfortable around them, and that's who I like. I'd like to point to my man Freud to back me up on this one-sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 01:37 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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