Compliments of our friend, Cheddar X:

1. What are people's biggest misconception about you?

People think that I am very, very confident. The word "arrogant" has even been bandied about. This is because sometimes I can talk shit like a pro, I have no problem with confronting someone that I think is talking out of their ass, and that if I don't understand a situation, I used to bluff my way out of it. Now, I just clam up and act cool, so people perhaps think I have answers and am not telling them since I am cool and intellectually superior. Not sure. The truth is, I am extremely insecure, and often wonder if people have figured me out and will expose me as a fraud, not unlike the way that Itchy and Scratchy constantly fillet each other.

2. What is your most over used expression?

Fuck. I am not saying that for shock value, it truly is my favorite. It tends to wind people up, too. I love the term, it can be used in a variety of ways-good (orgasm moment), bad (stubbed your toe), demonstrative (pointing to a guy who spilled some beer on you, like "That fuck!"), exclamatory (as in the crude way of saying "Unbelieveable!"), or if you add "ing" to the end, it can be a great adjective. Sometimes, it helps to combine it with other terms, in order to get your point across (an example, I heard the term "Fuckshit" on the movie "Lake Placid", and it is currently a favorite in the household). Currently, I am actually trying to weed it out of my vocabulary, but then Rome wasn't built in a day. Runners-up in the over-used expression are "Big fun", "Whatever", and "I hate my life" (this often said in a whiny tone when I don't get my way).

3. If they made a movie of your life, who would you want to play you and who do you think would end up playing you?

Well, if they made a movie about me, I would suggest they use me for the role, since not a lot of method acting would be needed then. Failing that bid for fame, I would want someone gorgeous, like Keira Knightley (Bend It Like Beckham, Pirates of the Carribean), or adventurous (Angelina Jolie, albiet not in the brother-kissing, blood-around the neck wearing aspects), but I suspect they would be trying to cast and demonstrate the role as a nutball, and no one plays nutballs better than Parker Posey.

4. If you could have sex with anyone, ever, who would it be?

John Cusack. Hands-down. If I am allowed to fulfill said fantasy, however, it would be an evening of a hat trick with John Cusack, Colin Firth, and Tony Blair. Different rooms, of course, so not to intimidate the men and maybe I would shower between performances. Different performances, too. I picture Johnny as a bit of a naughty boy, he would be all fantasizing and wild positions, I would definitely need him in his "Grosse Point Blank" persona. Even dressed in all black, and outrageous descriptive phrases. Colin would be my dreamy romantic sessions, complete with taking me on his ruffled "Pride and Prejudice" type shirt. Tony-well, he's for the points, baby.

5. What's the best and worst thing you've done for or to your appearance?

Best thing-I let my hair go back to its natural color, which is an almost black color, from 11 years of dying it Julia Roberts red. The worst thing-those years of horrible agony in the 5th and 6th grade when I thought a perm was a good idea. Never again. Poodles are not meant to be copied, man. Anything that is covered in tiny curls and is the size of a football is not a good idea for a hairstyle.

6. What's your best physical trait?

My legs or my breasts. Seriously. My legs are very, very long and quite nice-shaped. My breasts went under the knife over a decade ago, and are, I believe, fucking perfect. Damn, there's that term again.

- H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 06:42 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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