So I logged onto the BBC the other day, and found an interesting article about jealousy and cheating. It actually surprised me-yes, I had already heard all that Man Spreading Seed theory in university and about every edition of "Cosmo" that has ever been printed. It gets a bit old to always assume that there is a subliminal biologic issue going on-yes, perhaps the man does want to ensure that the child is definitely his, but isn't the issue more like he doesn't want to share his toy with anyone else?

But what was news to me was that this specifc research showed that Swedish men and women are more concerned about sex than any other nation, and that Swedish women are more concerned than any other nationality that their partners are having affairs.

That amazed me. A lot. Mostly because on reflection of the majority of Swedish partnerships* I know of, the man IS or HAS BEEN screwing around.

So what are they worried about?

The article also said that Japanese women are the least worried about their partners screwing around. But this contradicts an artcle that the BBC published two weeks prior to that listing all the new technologies that Japanese women are using to catch their partner cheating (read about it here). Now, maybe I am an intolerant bitch, but if my partner ever decided to use high-tech ways to catch me cheating, I think that the issue of me stepping out on him wouldn't be an issue for too much longer.

Everyone assumes that Sweden is so open sexually, that it's all partner-swapping, free love, and voluptuous women playing in the Trevi. I can honestly say that this is not the case. Yes, it's true, there is a whole lot of skinny-dipping going on the summer, but there is no further resemblance to anything remotely flash (other than the headline of the newspaper on the first day of my first visit to Stockholm. My Swedish was not great, but it was pretty easy to understand-it was something like "Two out of five Swedish women love anal sex". I don't think I bent over to pick anything up during my entire stay). Oh, and everyone takes saunas together. Naked. I drew the line at that one when it looked like it was on option with my co-workers. They assured me that "it was too hot to be checking each other out". I in turn assured them that while they may not be checking me out (or the other girl, since we were 7 men and 2 women and I must say, I am much cuter than her), I would be eternally scarred by seeing these guys' penises hanging out, miniscule in the sauna. The thought of it still makes me want to go into therapy.

Are Swedish women jealous, then? Actually, I can agree with that one. Almost every Swedish woman I know is possessed by a strange Jekyll-Hyde behavior when it comes to their men. An example-I was once on a sailboat with my spousal unit, his best friend J, and his best friends' girlfriend, B. We were sitting around, getting drunk, and eating a huge meal, when B told me that she just absolutely hates all of J's ex-girlfriends. In fact, she hates any woman that even looks at him. She hates them so much that she could just kill them. She said this with serious passion in her eyes. My eyes looked to the stove to see if any rabbits were boiling there. J looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Even though I was never one of J's exes, I sobered up quickly, believe me, and have made sure to never talk to him in a one-on-one conversation since then, and if we do talk, to locate the nearest fire exits in case I need a speedy retreat.

But is the jealous trait unique to Swedish women? I don't think so. I know lots of women of all different nationalities that get violently jealous, and get that way quite easily. Doesn't mean that they have to be Swedish to do so. In fact, I would put it to the men in the lab coats if it is not the fact that women of a specific nation get the most jelaous, but women in general are more jealous than men (other than Brazil, apparently. Where the men are of the extremely jealous, Roxanne-screaming, dual-fighting nature. Now there is something I can get behind. Give me a jealous man and I can give you multiple-orgasms any day.)

So what is the bottom line? Well, if you're not a man with one of the 5 million Swedish women in the world, I guess you can take a huge sigh of relief that your woman isn't going to make Glenn Close look like a Tiny Toon. But you're not really off the hook, mate. If you want to live a suspicion-free life from a woman, my suggestion is to go gay.

-H.

* In Sweden, getting married is not the norm. Most couples live together for many years, often for their whole lives, without being married, so I use the term 'partnership'. They even have a word for this in Swedish-"sambo" (as in the politically incorrect story "Little Black Sambo"). A friend asked me the other day what "sambo" meant in Swedish, and I said it means "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." I hope the guy knows I was not being literal.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 09:54 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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