Leaving for vacation in approximately 20 minutes.
Last night was not good.
Instead of being loving and preparing for holiday we had angry fights and, for the first time ever in our relationship, I slept on the couch. Today, my face is the size and color of a tomato due to the crying and my soul is incredibly stung.
Let's see if my passport photos match either of those descriptions.
- I think I am incredibly un-special, although I was certainly hoping that Angus thought I was
- I wish he could be a little more understanding of how some of things he said have me feeling like a bowl of tasty shredded wheats.
- I wish we could be friends. I wish he could hug me and try to fix it with me. I miss him.
- It has to get better today, it just has to. I can't bear the thought of a 15 hour flight feeling like this, and not being friends with Angus.
- I feel terrible today.
- I look terrible today.
- Just when I think I have picked myself up and am dusting myself off, I become worthless all over again.
- I am so mad about my boy. Even when I'm angry.
I'll be back on Friday, October 22.
Behave.
1
You'll work it out with him and no doubt have a great holiday to boot.
Posted by: Simon at October 14, 2004 09:09 AM (UKqGy)
2
You are incredibly special. Do not doubt that.
I hope you have a safe flight, some good dives, and lots of silly rum drinks!
Posted by: Random Penseur at October 14, 2004 11:45 AM (X3Lfs)
3
It must be in the air, or something.
Good luck, Helen. Be open to any motions towards resolution.
I wish I could be with you, sipping rum drinks and listening to the waves. Enjoy.
Posted by: scorpy at October 14, 2004 12:50 PM (p31Q2)
4
I think that sun, sea and being away from home often helps bring the distance that is needed after a fight. Here's hoping you had great make-up sex on your vacation.
Posted by: martha at October 14, 2004 01:13 PM (5HJ2h)
5
Enjoy the weekend. I'm sure that Angus feels just as bad as you do right now.
Posted by: Easy at October 14, 2004 02:01 PM (U89mk)
6
I'm sure things will be fine.
Posted by: pylorns at October 14, 2004 02:37 PM (FTYER)
7
You're always sexy and much loved, Helen - with or without tomato face.
Remember that adage about "don't go to bed mad"? The corollary is "don't go on vacation mad".
I hope y'all patch it and have a great time.
Posted by: Jim at October 14, 2004 03:19 PM (GCA5m)
8
It'll pass, Helen. And soon you'll be having a wonderful vacation together! I hope you have a great time!!!
Posted by: Mick at October 14, 2004 03:21 PM (VhRca)
9
I'm so sorry that you're having to go through eveyrthing. You're not worthless, and if I could reach out and give you a giant hug across the globe, I would.
Posted by: sporty at October 14, 2004 03:21 PM (NsnoE)
10
Two nights ago I had a bad fight with my SO that left me feeling the way you've described yourself.
The thing my man and I say to each other after a fight is, "Let's be friends, okay?" It's very simple but it's a good overture to making up. You're not reopening the issues, you're not asking an apology nor are you forfeiting getting one, you're just making a small gesture across the gulf to restore that most basic thing between you - the friendship.
It works pretty well, if you'd like to try it.
Posted by: koppar at October 14, 2004 04:22 PM (Qx+ll)
11
We never have loving moments when we're getting ready to travel. It's always tense and crappy, with me being bitchy and anal and Dan trying to get me to relax and I can't because I'm afraid I'll forget something and I get overly-anxious whenever we're going somewhere for longer than overnight, so I get irritable with him because I just want him to stay out of the way, then he gets mad because he was just trying to help and suddenly...
WE'RE OFF TO THE RACES! As we like to call it when the Fights Are On.
It always turns out we simply misunderstood one another. Always. Although at the time we are CERTAIN the other person is deliberately wounding us. But that's never the case, scary though it is to believe that at the time.
Enjoy your holiday! I know you'll be making up today and I'll be thinking of your makeup sex with glee. :-)
Posted by: Amber at October 14, 2004 05:03 PM (zQE5D)
12
This is just one jilted female's opinion, remember, but I can't understand why people will tolerate being miserable and fighting with someone all the time.
Posted by: Tami at October 14, 2004 06:30 PM (r+S4w)
13
oh hon, I just sent you an email before I saw this; but I am going to repeat it once more you are special, you deserve this life and you are an amazing individual. And NO ONE can take any of that away from you
I know you will have a good time, I know that Angus is and always will be your friend, and I know that you will say hi to the fishies for me ok.
Gros Bisous!!!
Posted by: stinkerbell at October 14, 2004 06:56 PM (m18uI)
14
i second what amber said. i've also found that the day before traveling can be ultra stressful and lead to fighting.
don't put yourself down darlin. you are amazing.
have a wonderful trip. you have a whole week of sweet make-up sex to have!
Posted by: kat at October 14, 2004 09:52 PM (QkuGS)
15
The first two years of 'marriage' are very much temultuous...hope the making up abroad is fun!
Posted by: Marie at October 16, 2004 01:04 AM (3Y1np)
16
Peeking out shyly from the massive purple umbrella decorating the pina colada:
Hope the making up was delicious.
Posted by: redsaid at October 16, 2004 08:43 AM (0ql/4)
17
Hugs, Helen.
You're special, and we know it.
Posted by: GreyWulf at October 16, 2004 12:55 PM (h1WCQ)
18
me & Big Daddy ALWAYS fight in the moments before vacay. I don't know what it is - monumental stress, I guess. Don't let it get you down.
Posted by: kalisah at October 16, 2004 10:17 PM (rU32B)
19
I hope you have a wonderful holiday -- and those umbrella drinks will most likely help wash away the bad stuff... hang in there!
Posted by: bob at October 17, 2004 09:51 PM (JQxLe)
20
I think you have a beautiful journal. I hope that all worked out well for you.
Posted by: Karen at October 18, 2004 02:19 AM (AaBEz)
21
You've been on my mind and heart; I hope your vacation is relaxing and LOVELY.
xoxo
Posted by: Margi at October 18, 2004 07:57 AM (MAdsZ)
22
Helen! I miss you and Angus and your stories! I keep checking, forgetting momentarily that you're gone, but you're not back yet. Here's to your return from holiday...*clinks glasses*
Posted by: Amber at October 19, 2004 05:37 PM (zQE5D)
23
We miss u again & still...
Posted by: Kyle at October 20, 2004 05:26 PM (blNMI)
24
I"m sorry to hear that you had problems with your boyfriend!
I know you probaby don't wants to here this, but I has to say it, you are very beautiful, and you don't look terrible!
When I feel like a bowl of shredded wheats, it makes me hungry, so I go make myself a bowl of shredded wheats, but we don't have shredded wheats, so I eat the next best thing, Captain Crunch, but it's hard making a bowl of cereal when you have a broken arm from jumping out your bedroom window so your big brother can't give you a newgy to your head, so I just get myself a breakfast bar and tear it open with my feet and eat that, just it smells a little funny then for some reason.
I hope things gotten better and you had a nice week! My name is Rockchild.
Posted by: Rockchild at October 22, 2004 04:48 AM (pTXW0)
25
P.S's. I hope you have a nice weekend, Everydaystranger!
Posted by: Rockchild at October 22, 2004 04:56 AM (pTXW0)
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