In university, I was an anthropology major (thereby enabling me in my future career options with said degree to ask: "Would you like paper or plastic?")

Shortly before I was about to graduate, I got a call into the Dean's Office. The Dean was a retired Jesuit priest and perhaps one of the greatest examples of a hippie that I had ever met. His office had an incense corner that burned a patchouli smell, a heavy cloying smell that kept making me wonder if there was a confessional booth somewhere nearby or if there was a CCTV camera in the room that was wired up to God. He had a massive South American rug on the floor of his office that has whole chunks of it missing, chunks taken by the mice that lived in his office. He didn't want to destroy them, so he let them multiply instead.

Creeped out by the thought of mice or little mice droppings, I couldn't sit down during the discussion.

He had called me to his office as it turned out I wasn't allowed to graduate unless I took 4 physical education classes. Four. One whole extra semester. I was outraged.

"What right is it of the government to dictate that I take PE?" I demanded. "What do they care? Just let me finish and become a contributor to the nation's labor market!" (Oh how idealistic I was in those days. I wish I could go back and give myself a cuddle...and a smack on the head as I staunchly tell myself to get a fucking grip.)

He shrugged, his enormous beard shaking. I think I saw something move in it. I swear I did. I wondered if Jesuit priests let mice live in the beards.

It freaked me out.

I took my battle to the academic committee, convinced as I was that I was correct (oh, foolish, foolish Helen). I lost, naturally, and thus did not graduate on time as I signed up for my final semester-4 swimming classes.

On a whim and with an extra jolt of student loan money, I realized I could switch one of the classes for a scuba diving class and become a certified diver. I figured-I'm only paying 5% interest on this loan, why the hell not? It also would help me get over an irrational fear I had of water-I was terrified of the deep end of the pool and would swim like a maniac in the deep end, so convinced as I was that maybe something evil could ooze out of the filter.

I took the course and was floored by how fantastic scuba diving was. I loved it-even when I had to get my certification dives in one of the green Texas man-made lakes. It was wonderful.

And I've never regretted that one.

We leave on Thursday, and my dive card, dive log, and mask and snorkle are coming with us (the rest of my dive kit is in storage in Sweden). Angus (who is being incredibly sweet and lovely) has agreed to take one of those resort intro dive classes to see what all of the hubbub is about. I have preliminarily booked up a time slot at a dolphin research and rehabilitation center, where we can spend some time with the flippered friends.

And I am already dreaming. Nothing in the world is more relaxing to me than snorkling and diving. When I get to the warm waters, if the visibility is good and the marine life is ample, you can't get me out of the water. Lead me numbly to the crystal blue waters, the parrot fish lighting up the coral, the manta rays silently lurking on the ocean floor, stealthily moving on with a graceful push. Let me dive through coral farms and see the dark, enigmatic shapes of the sharks at rest.

One of my favorite memories is of swimming by myself in the Seychelles, and playing tag with an enormous group of zebra fish. The sun lit the water up all around me, the coral sparkled under the water, like little flashlights to light up an already dazzling space. A small octopus floated by, and I held a finger up next to one of the dangling arms, feeling tiny suction cups tickle the water-bumpy raisin surface of my finger. I was alone in that moment and completely at ease in the warm and pefect water.

I have never seen the point of birdwatching-what, are the birds going to do something interesting? Are they just standing there, eating and looking daft? is there are reason I should be wasting my time looking for a red-headed pepper peter eater? Likewise, Angus has never been big on fish, he hates the idea that they can touch his legs, and he doesn't really see the point of them.

I'm hoping we can address that.
I can't wait to take my man into the water, to show him the world I find so incredibly relaxing.
This, since this is the only man that I have ever been able to relax around.

Last night I dreamt of swimming in the warm blue water, fishies all around. I dreamt that Angus was swimming with me, and at one point he looked up at me and grinned, excitement and happiness in his eyes. I dreamt of sliding through the warm water, of my hair floating around my face, as I take his hand and we keep swimming.

-H.

PS-Offer accepted-we got our little house! Happy dance now....

PPS-I mailed off two important letters in the past few days. One is my absentee ballot-I find it important to vote, and I feel it's a privilege that should be exercised. The other letter is a story-it had to be under 1800 words and I just made it at 1791 (brevity and I have never been friends). I have entered a writing competition. I am sure I won't win, and I am absolutely terrified at the rejection option, but still...I had to reach a hand up and break through the surface somewhere.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 08:39 AM | Comments (24) | Add Comment
Post contains 1020 words, total size 5 kb.

1 It sounds he was more a Judas Priest than a Jesuit. You've got a great chance of winning that competition if your blog writing is any guide.

Posted by: Simon at October 12, 2004 09:46 AM (GWTmv)

2 YIPPPEEEE about the house! Keep Happy Dancing... You will too do well in that competition. You are amazing in your writing (even if brevity isnt either of our strong suits), THEY would be the IDIOTS should they not recognize it. And I am so glad you have learned the love of the water; the gentle peace it brings and the joy of wildlife. I have been a water baby (swimming before I could walk) my entire life. And I am jealous of you! But I'll send a list as my "revenge"

Posted by: stinkerbell at October 12, 2004 10:04 AM (HhU+M)

3 Yayaya about the house! I'm uncrossing now. Heh. I was going to say that I'll keep everything crossed for the contest, but I agree wholeheartedly with Simon. xoxo

Posted by: Margi at October 12, 2004 10:14 AM (MAdsZ)

4 Hey, that's great news on the house. Congratulations! I applaud you on your brave writing competition entry. I too used to dive. I'm sort of envious about the dolphin play time. I wind surfed with them once off Hilton Head Island. I wish you a safe trip and lots of fun!

Posted by: RP at October 12, 2004 12:13 PM (X3Lfs)

5 Great news on the house. And you'll still have the same pub, grocery store, underground station and barbecue friends. Good job! I just voted for the first time in 42 years! (Well, I guess I've only been eligible for 24 years - but still!) Congrats to both of us!

Posted by: Oda Mae at October 12, 2004 12:40 PM (6zn3c)

6 It's about darn time you entered a writing contest (pardon the harsh language ! I expect they'll enjoy your writing...I know I do. I agree on voting too and even vote in the local elections for school board members where hardly anyone shows up. Voting is a gift that many have lived their whole lives wishing for but not getting, and yet so many in free countries take it for granted and shirk their responsibilities.

Posted by: Solomon at October 12, 2004 01:16 PM (k1sTy)

7 That's awesome, you entered a writing competition! Regardless of what happens, you made the effort and you should continue to. Obviously, many people like your writing. Even if one competition can't appreciate you doesn't mean the next won't be able to.

Posted by: Jadewolff at October 12, 2004 01:47 PM (8MfYL)

8 Yay for the house! Yay for the writing contest and YAY yay for swimming.

Posted by: martha at October 12, 2004 02:00 PM (5HJ2h)

9 I used to describe my first ocean dive as a LIKE a religious experience. Years later I realized that it wasn't just LIKE, it WAS a religious experience. (Although still not in the organized religion/church kind of way.) When I was diving a lot, it always seemed to be on weekends and more often than not a Sunday, so when people asked me what I was doing I would say I was going to ChurchÂ… ItÂ’s been a while since IÂ’ve been down and I miss it terribly, but IÂ’m sure IÂ’ll get the opportunity to again sometimes soon. DonÂ’t worry about Angus - I had zero interest in fish and/or shipwrecks until my first dive.

Posted by: Clancy at October 12, 2004 02:00 PM (EGVPL)

10 Life seems to be going swimmingly for you.

Posted by: Marie at October 12, 2004 02:05 PM (PQxWr)

11 I'm glad you voted. When there are so many who can't, I really get aggrivated with those who don't. Gotta say I'm with Angus on the water & fish. Seeing Jaws completely ruined the ocean for me. I'm fine on a river, but I like to be above the water. Can't comment on the writing entry because I haven't seen it. But based on what you write here, you should do fine. I'll be sending Positive Mental Energy your way (more or less east of here, right?)

Posted by: Easy at October 12, 2004 02:51 PM (U89mk)

12 You have got it going on, girl! You are going to have such a wonderful time. All that good news in such a short period of time -- I know you're flying, and that Angus is having a blast enjoying your pleasure as well. Best of luck on the writing competition, that takes courage of an uncommon sort. Putting your words out there can be really frightening. Looking forward to post-vacation reports!

Posted by: Myles at October 12, 2004 02:55 PM (KVVI5)

13 Once again Helen, I am not sure it is such a good idea that you enter those writing contests... Just think of all the poor bastards attempting to compete against you, what of their smashed ego's, their hopes and dreams crumbling? huh? Nevermind, screw em! you go girl!

Posted by: Dane at October 12, 2004 03:38 PM (ncyv4)

14 great work on entering the contest!!! i'm so proud of you and excited for you! and i totally know what you mean about the water...snorkeling in the bahamas is one of my most happy memories. i was the last one to get back on the boat because i just loved the experience. the boat owners threw me some bread to feed the fish and watching them come in a swarm to eat from my hand was one of the most wild experiences.

Posted by: kat at October 12, 2004 04:35 PM (QkuGS)

15 Congratulations on getting the house!!! That is great. I hope you two have fun on your vacation. You deserve it. Good for you! I am so glad you entered the writing competition! Those other people have no clue what they are up against! You don't give yourselve the credit you are due, you are an excellent writer!!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

Posted by: Jill at October 12, 2004 04:57 PM (fEBPs)

16 Have a gorgeous time lounging about and snorkeling. I can't imagine anything more wonderful.

Posted by: Kaetchen at October 12, 2004 05:38 PM (1nMRx)

17 Er, Helen, I just had a very weird experience trying to submit a comment about being jealous of your vacation time. Anything wonky with the submissions lately?

Posted by: Kaetchen at October 12, 2004 05:39 PM (1nMRx)

18 Funny.. I was an anthro major as well. I had a bearded Jesuit Priest during High School... no mice, he did wear a lot of spandex though. Congrats on the house... and congrats on the story being sent off! Jess

Posted by: Jessica at October 12, 2004 05:48 PM (jiaJ/)

19 Congrats on all the fun things going on in your life. The main reason I'm not scuba certified is because the thought of diving Lake Travis grosses me out. It sounds like your survived and have discovered other worthy places to dive. Enjoy the dolphins!

Posted by: Sarah at October 12, 2004 11:50 PM (4Hsr6)

20 Hey sweetie, the Jamboree is on! Check out Rocket Jones for details when you get a chance.

Posted by: Ted at October 13, 2004 01:49 AM (ZjSa7)

21 I'm so excited for you - for all of it! I hope Angus becomes afflicted with the addiction with you. There's nothing so romantic as being underwater, unable to communicate via conventional channels, but making a more intense connection because of that little obstacle. Good for you on the writing bit. Your talent is too mighty to be constrained here in this little internet thing. :-) I hope you'll share your entry here, eventually.

Posted by: Jennifer at October 13, 2004 02:00 AM (vSro2)

22 Whooo Hooooo you got the house! Good luck on the compatition! It's really hard to get stuff out, but it does get easier the more you do it have fun snorkling!

Posted by: Onyx at October 13, 2004 04:29 AM (8g7sN)

23 Wow, that's it! I couldn't remember the name of the lake I got certified, but thanks, Sarah! It was Lake Travis.... Nothing like feeding hot dogs to big scary fish in a super-green lake....

Posted by: Helen at October 13, 2004 07:01 AM (1iWle)

24 Helen, Be careful! Having sex underwater can actually be dangerous. If air bubbles get into the vagina from thrusting underwater you can end up with an aneurism or something. I'm not trying to scare you or tell you not to have fun just do a bit of research and proceed safely perhaps by omitting certains activities from your underwater repetoire. HTH, Steve

Posted by: Steve P at October 14, 2004 04:24 AM (KvWin)

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