Laughter really is contagious.

Ages ago I used to work with a German woman that Mr. Y also knew. He called her the Fish, as she used to wear one enormous silver fish earring. She had, hands down, the worst laugh I have ever heard. It sounded like a chainsaw being started up. Or a lawnmower being pulled to life by the chain. It was a sound unlike any sound that I had ever heard in my life, and when she started up babies wept. Angels fell from heaven. Everyone else stopped laughing just to hear it and then they went beserk laughing at her.

Once I went to the movies with her and her husband, and lo and behold, he too had a horrific laugh. A scene came on that was funny, and I waited for it. Sure enough, there went the chainsaw, and then he started in. He laughed like a carrot on steroids, one that took great gulps of air and then spewed them back out with insane high pitches like a braying donkey strung out on ecstasy.

The audience went nuts with laughter at their laughter.

I cringed in my seat.

Then I laughed, too.

When I laugh it's obvious laugh. I don't just chuckle. I don't have the big silent laugh that has you inhaling huge gulps of air and then expel them into nothingness. I don't chuckle, or burst out with one large: "HA!" (Mr. Y does, though, and it makes me laugh when he laughs.) I am not in any way, shape or form ladylike or genteel, I don't go like my Japanese ancestors and cover my smile with my mouth.

When I laugh, you can hear me for miles.

That's right. I have a big, loud, enormous laugh that is absolutely unmistakeable. Add alcohol and funny people, and people laugh at me, not just with me. Oh sure-I giggle. I can chuckle and smirk. I don't do the polite laugh, since I feel like a fucking puppet, but I will smile with my lips closed, indicating: I am humoring you, only. And there are some times when I get the short, barking dog kind of laughter, most often when I am reading a funny post, book, or email. It's a sound not unlike a weird chopping sound you would expect to hear from a woodchuck, if woodchucks could chuck laughs.

But my barking laughter is a sign that something I have read has gotten to my funny bone in a very no-nonsense kind of way.

Yesterday, it was an email from my lovely Mr. Y, which I am attaching here.

It's no wonder I am so mad about the boy.

-----Original Message-----
From: Helen
Sent: 09 September 2004 11:27
To: Mr. Y
Subject:


My stomach in very bad shape. No idea why.

-----Original Message-----
From: Mr. Y
Sent: Thu 09/09/2004 11:32
To: Helen
Cc:
Subject: RE:


And no improvement? Getting worse? Immodium?

-----Original Message-----
From: Helen
Sent: 09 September 2004 11:41
To: Mr. Y
Subject: RE:


No improvement. Getting worse. I think I may see if the chemist in town has Immodium, I think it may come to that. I feel ok though, so wonder if it was dodgy food.

-----Original Message-----
From: Mr. Y
Sent: Thu 09/09/2004 11:49
To: Helen
Cc:
Subject: RE:


iffy food when?

-----Original Message-----
From: Helen
Sent: 09 September 2004 11:54
To: Mr. Y
Subject: RE:


I don't even know, really. I think the bad stomach-ness started yesterday afternoon actually. And I am doing the ass bleed thing, too.

I hope you kept your receipt for me, I think I am made of poor quality materials.

-----Original Message-----
From: Mr. Y
Sent: Thu 09/09/2004 12:24
To: Helen
Cc:
Subject: RE:



Interesting concept. Perhaps by paying a bit extra I can get an even better model.

-----Original Message-----
From: Helen
Sent: 09 September 2004 12:35
To: Mr. Y
Subject: RE:


You would wanta better model than me? Really?

-----Original Message-----
From: Mr. Y
Sent: Thu 09/09/2004 12:37
To: Helen
Cc:
Subject: RE:

You are fast enough, comfortable enough and have a very sweet engine. Perhaps a little tricky handling sometimes. Guess any mention of an up-rated exhaust system would be in bad taste at the moment...

-----Original Message-----
From: Helen
Sent: 09 September 2004 12:48
To: Mr. Y
Subject: RE:

You made me laugh.

You are forgiven.

But your forgot to mention my fantastic fiberglass body.

-----Original Message-----
From: Mr. Y
Sent: Thu 09/09/2004 12:50
To: Helen
Cc:
Subject: RE:

or crumple zone and air-bags

-H.

PS-I found my laugh-track, again I think. The humor should be back next week. Thanks for sticking with me through the down parts of my mind. So if you'll excuse me, me and my laptop are off to London to visit the Dream Job laptop surgeon. It's time for a laptop brain transplant, then my Toshiba will be a functioning part of society again!

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 06:53 AM | Comments (19) | Add Comment
Post contains 843 words, total size 5 kb.

1 You should never write ass-bleed in an email. Just a little rule I picked up. I'm glad Y wasn't so crass as to ask about the sunroof and turbo engine.

Posted by: Simon at September 10, 2004 07:38 AM (GWTmv)

2 Oh, you two are very funny!

Posted by: Heather at September 10, 2004 11:00 AM (JaoWm)

3 Has he not been putting the quality petrol, you know, the high octane stuff, in you? And doesn't champagne count for that?

Posted by: RP at September 10, 2004 11:13 AM (X3Lfs)

4 love the Toshiba laptop I have. HAd to wait in line 3 a.m. the friday morning after Thanksgiving to get it. But saving $600 dollars has a way of motivating. TGIF

Posted by: drew at September 10, 2004 01:34 PM (CBlhQ)

5 Dude, it wasn't Craig, it was Steve. Steve!! And it wasn't Cara, it was Tricia Martin. How the hell did we forget Tricia Martin, dude? Who the fuck was Cara?

Posted by: Ms. Pants at September 10, 2004 02:01 PM (lVt29)

6 When I was growing up, my grandmother use to tell me I laughed too oddly and that everyone back home (pakistan) would think I was odd if I kept laughing that way. I was about 7. In fact, I was so self-conscious (not enough to stop laughing of course), that I wrote a card to god on his birthday (of course because everyone know's God's birthday!) and told him not only would I be a good girl, I would try to laugh better. It got so bad that when I got a bit older and started gaining baby fat, my family told me I was getting fat because I laughed too much. You would think people would think a child that laughs is a good thing. Oh well, I still laugh alot...laughing was always more important than what people said

Posted by: Jadewolff at September 10, 2004 02:12 PM (8MfYL)

7 I can't wait to hear you laugh. Now... if i can only come up with something funny.

Posted by: emily at September 10, 2004 02:23 PM (AO0sO)

8 The comment about suggesting an upgraded exhaust cracked me up! He seems like a very good guy!

Posted by: Cheryl at September 10, 2004 03:45 PM (jdmed)

9 Perhaps it's time for a thorough lube job...

Posted by: Easy at September 10, 2004 03:59 PM (U89mk)

10 In college and earlier, I was prone to snort whatever I was drinking out my nose when someone made me laugh. One of my friends would have something funny to say and intentionally wait until I took a drink before he said it. I still laugh heartily but now have more control to hold back when I'm drinking and hear something funny.

Posted by: Solomon at September 10, 2004 04:28 PM (k1sTy)

11 Does he have dent-resistant side panels too? ;-)

Posted by: Jim at September 10, 2004 04:38 PM (GCA5m)

12 my big loud laugh is one of my favorite traits about myself. :-) how else would anyone find me in a crowded room?? (i'm super short.) laughter in any shape or form is a good thing. and you two are super cute btw. xoxoxo

Posted by: kat at September 10, 2004 05:26 PM (QkuGS)

13 I expect nothing less.

Posted by: pylorns at September 10, 2004 06:51 PM (FTYER)

14 Most laughter is enjoyable, as long as it doesn't sound forced or phoney. I'm sure you've got a lovely laugh!

Posted by: Mick at September 10, 2004 08:07 PM (VhRca)

15 If you have the ass bleed thing, you need a colonoscopy PRONTO, for god's sake. Do the phone call now!

Posted by: Helen at September 11, 2004 10:52 AM (CYXrA)

16 I believe that you should laugh as God intended you to - will all your heart and soul, I know I do, and I get teased about my laugh, too! Laughter is healthy and fun. Sometimes, I laugh so hard that my stomach hurts, so perhaps you need to tell Mr. Y that he could be causing your tummy upsets by making you laugh too much - but I don't imagine you will do that. I have had my share of tummy problems like yours - and I'm sure that you will be fine - what did the doctor say that time not too long ago when you went in to have everything checked? I'm going on a bit too long, sorry. Send me another one of your complex, different and very fun to make recipes, please? And do take care of yourself. I don't worry about you now like I did a year ago, but still...

Posted by: Beth Donovan at September 11, 2004 09:25 PM (10rgs)

17 You are a witty, courageous, talented writer. I am enjoying your blog, but find I need to sample it in small bits rather than a long read through, simply because you raise so many ideas and points that it takes a bit of time to digest them. I'm thankful I've stumbled across your little corner of the internet, and wish you all the luck and best in the world.

Posted by: Myles at September 12, 2004 09:32 AM (KVVI5)

18 If he has a bumper-to-bumper warranty, HANG ON TO HIM! Heh. Seriously -- someone who can make you laugh is important, because life can be too gawddamned serious, sometimes. And the ass bleed does have me a little concerned as well. I'll try to restrain the inner Mom.

Posted by: Margi at September 12, 2004 10:50 PM (MAdsZ)

19 Before I was no-longer-single, a man's ability to make me laugh was the biggest draw. I don't think I'm lucky enough to have a laugh that would get me found in a crowd, just kind of like a hen clucking. The funnier the comment, the louder the cluck. Mr. Y. sounds like he would have been a winner in the make-me-laugh category! Hang on to him.

Posted by: scorpy at September 13, 2004 02:12 PM (4ZLxG)

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