I've never been big on flag-waving patriotism. To me, a flag is an identifier of the obvious or implied-you fly it on a boat to know where the boat is from. Olympic athletes grace it on their chests. You look up and see it flying at half-mast, to gauge the grief of a nation.

I'm not saying I'm against flags, what I am saying is that I think patriotism comes from within. I don't need a flag to know who I am or where I come from. I don't need a flag to show alliance, grief, or affinity. I know where I stand on those aspects, and a flag is really, to me, just a metaphor for what I already feel and know.

In Europe, I think flags often symbolize or warn about over-nationalism. In Sweden you'd fly them on special occasions. In Germany, you don't often fly them at all. You see a lot of flags in the UK, often associated with license plates and football games, but the Americans abroad tend to lie low, an American flag is a rare thing. Mr. Y is also not big on flags, and we've both agreed not to debate over which flag to fly, the English or the American, we'll simply fly neither of them. I did keep the 48-starred flag that I found, and it hangs over the curtain rod in the dining room.

So I don't fly flags. That said, I don't support flag-burning of any nation, as I think it's the height of insult. I remember when I was a kid and we had to say the Pledge of Allegiance every morning, hand on heart facing the hokey paper flag pegged near the chalkboard (why couldn't we have cloth flags? Why?). We started it in first grade, but by the time our legs and minds had grown to sixth grade, the practice had petered out. I wonder why they stopped that.

But the flag rules were relaxed when we bought tickets for Proms in the Park, in London.

The Proms are not an event here where you wear a sparkly gown and a bad corsage, where you go halvsies on a limo and get drunk with your date, winding up eating Doritos at 3 am and trying not to get nacho spices on your dress. The Proms are a series of concerts here, which end in a big massive final concert that the BBC hires out enormous areas, puts on big stages and giant screens, and everyone gets a big picnic together and watches. The last evening, in particular, the music is perhaps a bit less classical and more national, as anthems, drinking songs, and hymns are sung with mass audience participation.

And there are flags.
Thousands of them.
You bring a flag-any flag-but most often the flag of your home country-and you wave it during the evening.

So Saturday night, along with 25,000 others, we head to Hyde Park to watch the Proms in the Park. Mr, Y, Jim, Karl and I pack up picnic blankets, picnic finger-foods, boxed wine (just like being back in university again, making our pound coins work for the highst alcoholic content possible...well that, plus we weren't allowed to bring glass in), cameras...and my 48-starred flag.

Which I would be waving during the patriotic songs.
With great enthusiasm.

The evening was windy, a bit chilly, but the skies were open and the moods were fantastic. Jim, Karl, Mr. Y and I were all getting along and laughs were constant. The comraderie and kindness of the fellow Proms in the Park folk-all 25,000 of us-was infectious. The early music was classical, and I felt I was drifting bodiless around the park to the tune of the beautiful Flower Duet. You could text the Proms a message and see if they would post it. Mr. Y tried it but got his message in too late, however he showed it to me anyway.

"Helen I love you!" was the message.

I was a puddle at the base of the blanket after that, and you betcha' a little surreptitious under-the-darkness-of-night al fresco touching was had.

In Hyde Park, especially, the flags came out en masse during the patriotic songs (the classical works really had most of us just swaying like zombies, they weren't really flag moments). The sing-a-longs, the anthems, the rousing traditional sailor songs...there must have been at least one flag for every three or four people. The flags were mostly the Union Jack or the English flag (looks a bit like a Red Cross flag-a white backgroud with a red cross), Welsh flags, Scottish flags, and a number of Australian flags. Our little group had two flags-my American flag and Karl's Union Jack, and we all took turns waving them, singing along, drinking and laughing. In the entire crowd, I only saw one other American flag, which was unusual since usually at these events there are quite a few of them.

A young woman bounded up to us, all blond hair and bubbly eyes. "I'm from Texas!" she squeaked. "Are y'all really Americans?"

Jim and I verified that we represented Atlanta and Dallas, respectively, and she giggled and insisted on high-fiving us.

The funny thing about being there was the English version of some songs have counterpart American versions. Land of Hope and Glory, a big national favorite, is the graduation song that we march to at High School. And the big anthem, God Save the Queen, is also known as My Country 'Tis of Thee.

So it was, waving my big 48-starred American flag, that I joined in an evening of alcohol, reflection, and national pride. The conductor of the Proms is an American man, I was there with my American friend, and we bumped into other Americans during the event. I didn't need my flag to know who I was, where I was from, or that I was proud of who I was. I didn't need it...but during the patriotic songs, I didn't put it down, either.

Back home now and the flag is where it always was, in the dining room. It will remain there until next year's Proms in the Park, where my 48-starred little wonder will be wrapped up and taken for a flag-waving event, as we lift our voices and sing ourselves hoarse, one evening where everyone's flags are welcome and we're all just there to share a nice evening, remembering what our countries and our anthems mean to us.

-H.

The Gang

Helen and her countries

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 08:51 AM | Comments (23) | Add Comment
Post contains 1101 words, total size 7 kb.

1 I have mixed emotions about flags. I do not like the bumper sticker kind of flags. I always feel when I see especially the Scottish and Welsh flags on car bumpers that in some ways it is more an identification to say I am different from you, I am not english. I spend a fair amount of time in Wales and Scotland and myself I would feel it rude to fly the St Georges Cross on my bumper and ignore and differentiate myself from the Welsh and Scottish. I also feel that the British fly the flag in ways that aren't about being proud of our flag or our country but rather as again a marker of difference. The one time you do see the George Cross a lot is during big international football matches and I feel it is not so much pride but an exclamation of, your foreign and I'm English. I do feel though that the flag is a patriotic thing and a positive thing that acts as a focal point to show celebration of a country and its people, achievments and struggles and togetherness and I do feel that the British do not most times take this national pride and I do respect the patriotism that you outwardly see in countries like America where the flag is flown much more in normal day to day life by people with no other motive but to say this is my country and I am proud of it. It is funny you mention the not having to dress up to go to the proms. I love concerts and the theatre and a trip to London for a big production is always a looked forward to event. Yet it seems somewhat diminished that after all of the effort that goes in by skilled and talented and dedicated people into the production that no one bothers to make the night into an event and turns up in jeans and tshirts. I understand the ethos of music and theatre for the masses and the possible thought that requiring more formal dress may alienate people and make them see it as elite. But I do feel that the whole thing looses something, that some of the occassion the romance of it all is lost. Although I am Mr Jeans and Tshirt and feel most comfortable like that, I think we could do with more tux and sparly gown occassions in the UK, a bit more 'sense of occassion' sometimes and yes a little more flag waving.

Posted by: Charlie at September 13, 2004 09:36 AM (MOVQd)

2 Charlie-I take your point about the dressing up aspect-if I'd had tickets to Royal Albert Hall for the actual concert (which I would've LOVED!) I would've been kitted out in strappy shoes and girlie dress, that's for sure. The Proms in the Park outlet, however, lent itself to jeans and sweatshirts, simply due to the outdoor chilly environment and no chick wants grass stains on her pretty gown. Well, unless some kind of sexual connotations are implied, of course.

Posted by: Helen at September 13, 2004 09:42 AM (/uGVk)

3 H my love, can I ask one thing? What do you have against Alaska and Hawaii? There are meant to be 50 stars...I tried to put a link to Wikipedia to prove it but it won't let me. But there really are meant to be 50 stars. I think. Aren't there? I can't believe your friends went to the Proms with black boxes covering their faces. How did they see the concert?

Posted by: Simon at September 13, 2004 09:48 AM (GWTmv)

4 Simon just provoked the barking dog laughter from me. Well done, babe. My friends just swayed around a lot to the music. There wasn't any need to see. Especially not the xylophonist who wore a sparkly red-midriff baring outfit, nosiree, no need to see there. The flag? The story is here: http://everydaystranger.mu.nu/archives/040428.php I stole it from a rubbish pile, in other words. It was an old flag from an older American family's home, and they were throwing it out. I figured having a flag that old is pretty cool (Alaska and Hawaii joined, what, late 50's, I think) so having a 50 year old flag is cool. And I haven't bought a new one. My apologies to Alaska and Hawaii. I mean, you have a state full of men and a state full of pineapples, what's not to like about them?

Posted by: Helen at September 13, 2004 09:55 AM (/uGVk)

5 The only flag that has ever "flown" in an abode of mine belonged to my house mate. It was the Soviet flag taken from K-27 - a November class nuclear attack sub ... I have no idea how he came to own it but I was convinced the damn thing glowed in the dark...

Posted by: Rob at September 13, 2004 10:37 AM (kXZI6)

6 Ok, the second pic is just too cute, the first pic, anyone else notice how Helen isn't even skipping a beat in replacing the dead soldier in front of her. Nice job Helen, multitasking, hehe

Posted by: Dane at September 13, 2004 11:26 AM (ncyv4)

7 First, I thought it was sad, Helen, that the men you were with were so horribly disfigured that for the sake of your readers you had to cover their faces. Thank you for sparing us. I know I'm not strong enough. Seriously, I don't have a problem with flag burning, at least, not burning the American flag by Americans. It is part of our freedom of speech for us to burn our own flag. I won't do it and I don't agree with doing it, but as is often said, I'll fight for your right as an American to exercise that right to free speech. That said, I admit to certain not terribly sympathetic feelings when I saw a picture, at least a year ago, of a Pakistani man in Pakistan setting himself on fire as he tried to burn my flag. His right to do so is much less clear to me. The concerts sounded like fun. The closest I can think of here is the Boston Pops or maybe the Philarmonic in Central Park.

Posted by: RP at September 13, 2004 11:44 AM (X3Lfs)

8 RP, Not sure why you feel that the Pakistani man has less of a right to free speech than you.

Posted by: Dave at September 13, 2004 12:03 PM (ADrg6)

9 I think what RP is saying is that the U.S. Constitution guarantees American Citizens freedom of speech and as such allows them to burn the flag. (Like RP, I think that any American who does burn the flag in protest is obviously and asshat and incapable of understanding the irony of their action.) For a non-citizen, itÂ’s no longer about freedom if speech, it just serious disrespect.

Posted by: Clancy at September 13, 2004 01:27 PM (EGVPL)

10 yup, I totally understand the outdoor aspect. I was just off on one of my more general tangents about the loss of occassion with concerts and theatre. Even my companies parties now are casual smart and I just think a little something gets lost somehow. Great Blog btw. I have spates of following links off Blogs and thinking hmm hmm hmm and once in a while a real gem like this one pops up!

Posted by: Charlie at September 13, 2004 02:11 PM (OAmIw)

11 H, Being a native of Hawaii I hereby boycott this blog! Like you couldn't tell already. Any chance you sat near Belle ? If so please send a pic.

Posted by: Paul at September 13, 2004 02:21 PM (xdj7o)

12 Looks like you had a blast, though the blacked out faces did make me briefly think that maybe there WAS something sexual happening ;-) Did they actually let you bring glass bottles in? I have a flagpole attached to my house, but the only time that there's an american flag flying from it is on Memorial Day and 4th of July--mine includes Alaska and Hawaii, though I do think it would be cool to have a 48 star flag!. The one exception I made was on September 11th, 2001. Like many americans, I just felt the need to put it out that day. I'm always slightly suspicious of people who wear flag t-shirts, pants, sweaters, jackets, etc. It just seems a little bit crazy to me to go overboard with patriotism in that way. Spider Robinson said:"Patriotism does not mean that you think that your country is perfect, or blameless, or even particularly likeable on balance; nor does it mean that you serve it blindly, go where it tells you to go and kill whom it tells you to kill. It means that you are committed to keeping it alive and making it better, that you will do whatever seems necessary to protect it whenever you, personally, perceive a mortal threat to it" That sums up patriotism for me. ~Easy

Posted by: Easy at September 13, 2004 02:22 PM (U89mk)

13 Damn my pre-K linking skills! http://belledejour-uk.blogspot.com/2004_09_01_belledejour-uk_archive.html#109507530578006103

Posted by: Paul at September 13, 2004 02:23 PM (xdj7o)

14 I felt like I was there with you - what a lovely and happy memory you made and how homesick you have made me... Patriotisim, like any kind of fandom (Go Cubs, Go Man. U., Go Boston Bruins!) scares the bejabbers out of me when it bleeds from pro (my choice is OUTstanding, dude!) to anti (and yours sucks!!). Perhaps this is the difference between patriotisim and nationalism. I've never been good with my -isms. I'm thrilled to be a member of the planet in this space time and evolution. Although I am often ashamed and heartbroken about what we, as a species, do to each other. That also sums up, pretty much, how I feel about being an American. We fly our flags (his, mine) of our respective countries on the days that call for audience participation (independance days, memorial days). We're joiners, cheerleaders, cheat-thumping types at times. Otherwise, we fly all sorts of other kinds of flags. Because we also like lighthouses and Santa Claus. You look lovely and happy in you pictures. Shame about your companion's disfiguring black box disease. Hopefull they've got an oinment to help with that. Elizabeth VP of M.A.S.

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 13, 2004 03:04 PM (2HwUc)

15 I haven't read through all the comments, so I'm sorry if this has already been covered. Believe it or not, but the proper way to dispose of a flag like your outdated 48 star one is not to throw it in the trash, but instead, it should be burned. Actually, it should be given to the local American Legion so they can dispose of it, but you probably don't have one near by. "The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning" Think of it as cremating it and giving it a proper, respectful burial which is much better than throwing it in the trash can.

Posted by: emily at September 13, 2004 03:39 PM (QD7++)

16 I don't really have much to say about flags...I'm not big on it either. Maybe coz I'm born Swedish The Proms is something I love though. Today I have the TV on every night, listening to the music while I'm painting. And these concerts is probably a lot more British to me than any flag will ever be. Especially the last of them in Royal Albert Hall.

Posted by: croxie at September 13, 2004 05:53 PM (Anv3P)

17 Actually, I understood that an outdated flag was supposed to be buried. Which I am not doing, since I love my outdated flag. Kinda' like how I always relished classic coke. AND I like Hawaii and Alaska. :

Posted by: Helen at September 13, 2004 06:00 PM (/uGVk)

18 Not to hijack Helen's comment board, but Clancy understood me perfectly, Dave. Cheers!

Posted by: RP at September 13, 2004 07:43 PM (LlPKh)

19 The two acceptable methods to get rid of an American flag (in America) are burying and burning. Both of you are right. I love my country, but I'm not so sure we should elevate a piece of cloth to that stature. I've thrown far more valuable things than a flag in the trash. A flag represents a country (or team, or school, or whatever), and to wave one is an outward expression of an inward love/support for something. Yea for flag waving!! If you love your country, wave a flag. If you love Jesus, wave a Christian flag. If you love your alma matre, wave a school flag. If you love... But like everything else, flag waving has an appropriate time and place.

Posted by: Solomon at September 13, 2004 09:20 PM (k1sTy)

20 I loved your story! The downside of living in the suburbs with a small child is that you rarely get to partake of cultural morsels in the city. (We're not big fans of traffic jams and temper tantrums.) I like the history and culture of flags, but I'm suspicious of the nationalism that they represent. I fervently hope that nationalism will one day surrender to globalism, and we'll all just be one happy family, a la Star Trek. It could happen, right?

Posted by: NotDonnaReed at September 13, 2004 09:39 PM (CQH7y)

21 I never really bothered with flags til I left New Zealand to come and live in the states..,I had to get a flag to wear on my leather jacket cos ppl kept asking me what accent I have! Now I have a huge NZ flag on my dining room wall and it reminds me of home and everyone who sees it ,loves it Yu look so happy Helen

Posted by: butterflies at September 13, 2004 10:34 PM (mF/af)

22 Ah! I wanted to go to the Proms before we left! But we were long gone before then. London was fabulous - I'm so incredibly jealous that you get to live in that city every day.

Posted by: Snidget at September 14, 2004 03:25 AM (1Z/4H)

23 I can tell from your writings that you're patriotic. Not too much, not too little. Just the right amount of crazy about your country.

Posted by: Almost Lucid (Brad) at September 21, 2004 02:32 PM (xVWJv)

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