When I was at university in the U.S., I was not your typical student. I worked my way through, I took masses of classes in order to finish on time, and I studied courses which I found interesting. I mean, far be it from me to take classes that could actually prove useful as an adult-I didn't elect accounting or architecture, which could have proven useful in a serious field of work. Oh no. I took anthropology. Epidemiology. Evolution. French. And Russian.

In fact, I took intensive Russian, which was 4 hours of Russian every morning for 2 years. I used to be very good and, I was told, mimicked a native accent perfectly. Years on, and I know about as much Russian as a neighboring bowl of Borscht. How fortunate for me-I can say, with complete and native ease, "I studied Russian at university." Of course, that's all I can remember (although I can still read the Cyrillic alphabet), so hopefully no one ever challenges me on that one, they will simply stroke their chin, nod wisely and say: "Ah...I see."

I was with the same group of students the entire time, a little potluck of students all taking Russian for their own reasons. Mine? I wanted to impress a guy (it worked). There was an Englishman in there who simply wanted to learn more languages. A young perky American chick who had married a Russian man and wanted to be able to talk to her mother-in-law.

And then there were The Others. The Others, a group of 4, were only taking Russian for one reason-they wanted to go to Russia and convert the heathen masses to Christianity. The Others were three men and one woman. They were not easy to talk to (especially with me as an anthropology major) and believe it or not, one of them said "Amen" a lot. He also said "Fudge!" when he got something wrong in class.

And I thought that only happened in stories from the 1950's.

The Others would go over to Russia during the summer and spring breaks, funded on a fantastic budget by their local Southern Baptist churches, in order to spread the word. They felt they had to save the masses, you see. They wanted to convert the unwashed. And they would go over to Russia with cases and cases of Bibles, all of which were in English.

I'm not sure if you've been to Russia lately, but the English there, well it's generally not so good. And the Bible, with its intricate language, is difficult for even the natives to read sometimes (yes, I have read it.) So a Bible in English probably got lots of use by the natives-holding up a wonky table leg, for example. For use as a paperweight.

The thing is, the Russians already have religion-they've been Orthodox up until they had it beaten out of them by Communism. Then the country experienced a surge in closet Orthodoxy, and now church is, apparently, back on the uprise again. So who the fuck are we to barge into their country, convince the Russians that they have a one way ticket to hell and throw Bibles in English at them? Why embark on a rescue mission for people that didn't need "saving" in the first place? Instead of funding an army of Christian soldiers to convert the damned-to-hell Russians, why not send the money to the famine victims in the Sudan? To helping the flood victims in Bangladesh? For aid for earthquake-ridden areas like Turkey?

I take massive umbrage at my people when they go barging into countries demanding that they accept their help, since my people only want to save them. Some places don't need saving. Some areas are just fine. There are masses of others that could use help-why not help them out?

It's happening again. The U.K. has just been besieged by a group of Americans from the Silver Ring Thing. Now, the Silver Ring Thing is an organization from the U.S. that is designed to help kids fight the evil that is sex. They are a religious organization, one with about 20,000 members and a strong backing from the government-abstinence organizations in the U.S. received over $120m from Uncle George, and the Silver Ring Thing got a $700,000 chunk of it.

I don't have a problem with an organization that has yet another method of how to help kids fight teenage pregnancy and STD. That's OK. Sex is a deeply involved issue, one that stays with you for life. As a teenager, I would've chosen to ignore them anyway, since their message is overwhelmingly one of guilt and the filth associated with sex.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18.
I did marry the guy.
And what a fucking mistake that was.

I have a problem with the fact that the American organization felt it so necessary to come spread the word of their charter here. Like the English are so out of control with their wild monkey teenage sex that they need preaching from another advanced society. The truth? The teenage pregnancy rate in the U.K. is the highest in Europe, but it is wildly below the U.S. And in Europe, the horrific connotations and negative implications that are associated with teen pregnancy in the U.S. are absent. No, it's not ideal. But it is accepted and handled.

I get so angry when various groups of American organizations descend upon Europe in order to try to "save" people (and said rescuees are often rolling their eyes). Do they really need saving? Who elected the American organization as a saviour? Isn't the world a lot more interesting if we have differences, instead of trying to force the same moral code on everyone? Why can't we accept that cultures and nations are different, and if we hate the way the English are having pre-marital sex, the way the Russians are worshipping, or the way the Italians shine their shoes, isn't the best option to simply not go there?

I was raised Catholic-I have your guilt here if you need it. I know what the church preaches about pre-marital sex and marriage and birth control. And I also have had sex, outside of marriage (just last night in fact). I think that sex between two people who really love each other is a thousand times better, a million times more rewarding, than picking someone up in a bar for a quickie (although that, of course, serves a physical need as well). I like to think that, because I have had a few partners, it has helped me learn what is pleasurable and enjoyable in bed. And I like that my guy has had partners before me, too-I don't feel he is, as the Silver Ring Thing would have me believe, "cheating on me" since he has had others before me. I like to think it has helped make him a better lover and has helped him appreciate me in bed more (especially that thing I do with my tongue. I hope he really loves that one).

By all means-have an organization to help teens prevent teen pregnancy and STD. I am all for that. But do something about your success rate-statistics show that abstinence campaigns do delay the outset of sex by 18 months, but that when they do have sex, one-third don't use protection. Maybe they should work on trying to save themselves, more.

But don't send troops over here. For those of us Americans that are over here, we have to explain to the natives why our people feel they need saving, why they are apparently lacking in something that only Americans can arm them with. And we're talking about the English here-a group not exactly known for their swing-your-pants lifestyle.

As for the Silver Ring Thing organization-well, hope you have fun in England. But there are some aspects that you may not be actually being honest with yourself about. I leave you with a quote from a newspaper article:

Under the Silver Ring thing's world view, condoms are ineffective and untrustworthy, oral sex is an epidemic out of control, and masturbation and homosexuality simply do not exist.

Right.

If that's the case, then I am absolutely infected with the oral sex epidemic (and I don't want to be cured of that one, either), and I am now going to retire to my bedroom to prove to myself that masturbation does, indeed, exist.

-H.

PS-a third skin has been added, my sincere thanks to my good friend for the incredible job that's been done.

PPS-Ilyka needs some help.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 09:33 AM | Comments (31) | Add Comment
Post contains 1446 words, total size 8 kb.

1 Yawp, I agree to 100%. To come here and trying to save ppl from sex is kinda silly....there are other places where ppl have a much more open minded view on the matter than around here. And as you say...they don't have to do it on this side of the Atlantic at all. Maybe they are better needed in the US... In the opposite to you I was not 18 when I lost my virginity and it's not legal to marry children in Sweden :p ...so I didn't get married until much later. I did get married out of love though....and divorced to keep some of the sanity alive. Won't happen again. Hope you're feeling better today (We've got your storm and rain today I believe. Want it back? )

Posted by: croxie at July 08, 2004 10:23 AM (sr8uU)

2 I am feeling better Croxie-thanks! And isn't that storm fantastic?!

Posted by: Helen at July 08, 2004 10:27 AM (QNyEV)

3 H: You can't finish posts like that. Here I am about to leave work for the day, and now I have to sit at the desk for another 10 minutes thinking of anything but you going off to masturbate. DAMN IT! Another 15 minutes now. Gee I'm glad there's no cure for that oral sex epidemic, though. As for the whole university thing, you'd be surprised how many people with "useless" degress end up being the most sort after by employers.

Posted by: Simon at July 08, 2004 10:44 AM (OyeEA)

4 yes you have to love the right wing religious fundies. I used to get REALLY mad at them, and completely take teh piss out of them as much as I could to embarass the hell out of them. I reveled in truning their comments and logic right back on them. really what they need to be promoting are rectal cranial displacement proceedures. I try now to just find tehm funny, and not expalin myself constantly. I am here for a reason and it sure as hell isnt to preach! As for the new skin, can I say I am jealous. I am still fighting to figure out MT so I can get my own blog (which I have had space for 3 months now) off blogger and on to its own server. I am so non techie sometimes, especially when I dont have time to learn the software. UGH!

Posted by: stinkerbell at July 08, 2004 11:04 AM (IHvBP)

5 This storm reminds me of fall in Sweden...heck, the blinds here are moving around and I'm wondering if we actually have windows or not today. It's French windows, huge ones, with more glass than anything else and right now it would be nice with some warm July weather :p Meesa is missing Cali.

Posted by: croxie at July 08, 2004 11:33 AM (R7rEM)

6 Helen, I absolutely love you for this post. This world is so full of hypocrisy and double standards. Sad to say, America is becoming a huge part of it. I have stayed in US for some time and I loved the place because it allowed me to be me, to be free and to live life by my own standards and be brave to face the consequences. But when I read of such things, it totally puts me off and i wonder in which direction the country is progressing. If these evangelists are really concerned about the evils of sex, how about putting your own house in order first? Give me a break and get some perspective, okay? On different note, can I add a link to this post in my blog? Its really good n pertinent!

Posted by: Jhanvi at July 08, 2004 12:07 PM (IvYGv)

7 Jhanvi-link away... Simon-done. I have proven one part of their mandate wrong, anyway. Wonder if I should go and prove it again...hmmm...

Posted by: Helen at July 08, 2004 12:26 PM (N3n+E)

8 I've got a problem with proselytizers period. There's really few things that annoy me more than somebody preaching at me.

Posted by: Jim at July 08, 2004 12:30 PM (IOwam)

9 You're right, it is a shame that people think, in their self-righteous glory, that they are helping others by going on and on about religion and sex and all that. You're also right, it seems that there are quite a few that come from the U.S. But living here, I do see changes. They may be slow but they are happening. The youth of this country IS evolving. Now, you see people questioning God and religion on a regular basis rather than not at all as it was maybe 15 or 20 years ago. It's not an ideal world or country, but it is getting better. Some how, some way, the youth in this country do seem to be taught that you do need to think for yourself. Not all, and not by everyone. But alot more now than ever before. P.S. Some people think the meaning of america as christian goodness at it's best. Others understand the real history...freedom.

Posted by: Jadewolff at July 08, 2004 01:03 PM (tqQaS)

10 Helen (or anyone) guess who this quote comes from: "You cross land and sea to make one convert, and when you get one, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves!" A book you might like is titled "Father Joe". It would possibly surprise you.

Posted by: Roger at July 08, 2004 01:35 PM (Q7agU)

11 I tend to view organisations like the Silver Ring Thing as a misguided attempt to redress the karmic balance. Back in the seventeenth century, many of the more extreme and wacked Christians from Europe emigrated to the US and now, almost 400 years later, they're coming back to haunt us. Recently, I came across this insight into the myths surrounding premarital sex (it wasn't until the eighteenth century that it became frowned upon in polite Christian society), which for me put a lot of their pseudo-Victorian bleating into perspective (I can't remember who posted the link originally, but it was on a blog a link away from this one. Probably). Since when did oral sex become the big evil anyway? It's far safer in terms of pregnancy and disease transmission so if anything we should be encouraging hormonally charged adolescents to do it. Sex-ed classes at school would certainly have been a lot more interesting.

Posted by: Gareth at July 08, 2004 02:01 PM (NHA9E)

12 If you saw your buddy heading towards an Orange tree but knew there was a mine field between him and it, would you warn him? What would you think of someone who didn't warn a friend.? If you knew someone had the cure for AIDS but kept it to themselves, what would you think of him? You'd think he was worse than Hitler. But to a Christian, there's something immeasurably worse than mine fields and AIDS...hell. To keep the cure to ourselves would be more evil than Hitler. Plus, the people who actually go to other countries and spend a great deal of time, energy, and money aren't being hypocritical; they're being true to what they believe. Christians aren't perfect (won't be until they're in heaven), but to insinuate that we have to get everything right here before we can try to help elsewhere is nonsense. I'm not trying to start a religious discussion (although if anyone wants to e-mail me, I'd love to talk), I'm just trying to show why the "religious right" acts as we do. It truly is out of love.

Posted by: Solomon at July 08, 2004 02:11 PM (t5Pi1)

13 Roger: Jesus said it of the Pharisees.

Posted by: Solomon at July 08, 2004 02:17 PM (t5Pi1)

14 My personal theory on this whole thing? It's just like Nancy Regan's "Just Say No" campaign. I'm pretty much the poster child for how that shit did NOT work. I just said no, till I threw caution to the wind and realised that old bag lied to me. I did not wake up in a back alley with a dirty smack needle stuck in my arm the next morning. Gateway, schmateway. Bite me, Nance. And pass the bong while you're at it. I'm pretty sure a goodly portion of these silver ring wearers will have kids before they're married. Many of them will have at least one preggo scare. A lot of them will get the burning, itchy feeling when they pee. And probably 80% of the women will never, ever experience an orgasm.

Posted by: Ms. Pants at July 08, 2004 02:59 PM (Kpjuf)

15 Solomon: You got who the quoter was but you did not get his audience correct.

Posted by: Roger at July 08, 2004 03:03 PM (8S2fE)

16 It drives me crazy when people want to "give me their message", to "save me". So they know a secret to something they think I should know. And my response? Keep it to yourself. I don't walk around telling people things I think they should know-Dude, try deodorant. Really, it'll help. Or Anyone currently not having an orgasm in their relationship should get out of it, as trust me-we all can have them. Or even tidbits like: Cheesy buiscuits are addictive. I just don't tell peopel these things, since I figure it needs to be each to his own. Maybe people don't want orgasms, cheesy buiscuits or deodorant. And maybe I have my own ideas about what happens when I die, and I don't want saving. It drives me mad when people try to come in and "protect" me. Like Ms. Pants said-it tends to backfire anyway. Solomon-you know I like you much, anyway.

Posted by: Helen at July 08, 2004 03:08 PM (P6NUk)

17 You know if those kids were educated instead of preached at, then there probably wouldn't be such a huge epidemic to begin with. If kids ask questions, they want to know. Don't lie to them.

Posted by: Kandy at July 08, 2004 03:12 PM (fnOQ7)

18 Helen, I do believe you should articulate the deodorant thing when necessary:-) Also to save me the time of looking it up, what is masturbation;-)

Posted by: Roger at July 08, 2004 03:45 PM (8S2fE)

19 "Save yourself" always works best

Posted by: croxie at July 08, 2004 04:07 PM (R7rEM)

20 I didn't name his audience, I named whom he was speaking about. But they were probably his audience as well. The 1st part of that verse says, "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel..." And at the beginning of that discourse it said, "Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples:" Since the Pharisees were often in the crowds it's probable he was speaking directly to them. Regardless, this passage wouldn't negate Matt 28:19-20 anyway. I'm actually not a big fan of "short mission trips". To be truly effective, I think it's best if one lives in the country they're ministering to and lets others see his/her good life. Many will see a difference and inquire. THEN he could share what he believes. Helen, you know I like you too. In fact I love reading your blog and many of the regulars' comments (some of you guys are smart and funny). I truly enjoy "hanging out" with all of you.

Posted by: Solomon at July 08, 2004 04:13 PM (t5Pi1)

21 Whenever U.S. orgs like this come around, I always remember that this country was founded by Puritans. It makes me crazy that we're so accepting of violence and so vehemently STUPID about sex. Sigh.

Posted by: Kaetchen at July 08, 2004 04:22 PM (1nMRx)

22 Hi Kaetchen, Thank God for Thomas Jefferson who stopped them from starting a "Taliban-esque" cult nation. Tom was excellent and a power house of knowledge on common, ecclesiastic and English law and Scripture. Without guys like him with his understanding the America experiment would not have been attempted.

Posted by: Roger at July 08, 2004 04:54 PM (8S2fE)

23 I do thank God for guys like Jefferson. I don't think any religion (including my own) should be forced on anyone. (Changing topics) What's with this notion that kids can't control themselves? I didn't hear of Herpes until my Junior year in High School or AIDS until my Junior year in College, and yet I was a virgin when I got married in my mid twenties (so was the Super model Mrs. Solomon). And I didn't become a Christian until I was 23. If I could remain a virgin when there were almost no STDs that couldn't be cured with a shot, why can't kids today when there are so many more potential risks? It's not like I didn't have the desire, I just didn't give in to it. Why can't kids do that today?

Posted by: Solomon at July 08, 2004 06:27 PM (t5Pi1)

24 Wow, what a topic. I am normally a silent lurker here, but this is so good I could not resist a comment. First of all, please do not judge America or Americans by nut-jobs over there that happen to be sent by nut-jobs over here. As a yank, I am sure you know that already. There are plenty of crazy people from both the conservative viewpoint as well as the liberal viewpoint that always feel the need to preach their views. They all want to convert everybody to their “religion” no matter how misguided it is. If you have not already, go to Hyde Park on Sundays and listen to and enjoy the crazy people trying to convince the world how fucked up everything is. In fact, even when you watch the news, at least here in America, you cannot get away from the constant stories of how we should be living. In any given week there seems to be people telling me that I should eat less carbs and more fat and meat, then, later I should eat all the carbs I want but no meat. Sex should only be between a man and a woman who are married but then later it should be between any two people who love each other. Maybe love does not even need to be in the equation. Then there are the stories of how all the chemicals are killing us, then later how all these great chemicals are making our lives so wonderful. Fortunately, you and I and many of your readers are lucky enough to live in countries and societies where people are free to preach their views no matter how misguided and evil their intentions. We are then free to take in their views and make our own choices on how to live. Unfortunately, these “preachers” usually prey on the young, as they are more vulnerable to be misguided. So, I guess our job as reasonable people is to “preach” the value of independent free thought. You do a great job. PS. As a side note, I lived in Newbury for 4 years in the late 80’s and may have attended the same boarding school in London for children of American mlitary as your cousin Nancy during that same time. Small world.

Posted by: PJ at July 08, 2004 11:58 PM (avr9E)

25 PJ-I applaud you. You nailed it with your "no carbs" then "carb me out" analogy. Well done. And you likely did attend the same school as Nancy-as I understand it, there's only one of them in the UK

Posted by: Helen at July 09, 2004 09:07 AM (0os5y)

26 I agree with most of what's been said here: Proselytizing is *evil*, and believing that yours is the one true religion while all other options are wrong strikes me as so fundamentally arrogant and stupid that words just fail me. Consequently, my wish for people like the Silver Ring Thing is to shut up and leave me alone at the minimum, and to stop having sex *at all* as an additional action that would probably make this a better world about 80 years hence. And about Russian: what is it about this language that makes it so eminently forgettable? I have eight years of Russian under my belt, and I don't think I could utter things more complex than "My name is Gudy".

Posted by: Gudy at July 09, 2004 12:39 PM (+AMPj)

27 Helen--I also wrote about this some time ago. Shortly afterward, I wrote a letter to the Archbishop of Canterbury as part of a movement spearheaded by Tim at Bloggerheads. (You have to scroll down about 3/4 of the page to see his original post.) Maybe you should do the same, if you feel as strongly about it as I do.

Posted by: angel at July 12, 2004 10:46 AM (VDG65)

28 Ah, so oral sex is an epidemic out of control is it? I would counter that Religion is an epidemic out of control - a 'virus of the mind' as Richard Dawkins called it ... but that is not the point here, it is the fact that these people are given a big fat cheque and political support to go out and ram their views down our throats. It's bad enough that the pope supports the fact that condoms actually assist the spread of AIDS and it seems that this has been taken up by these moral fundamentalists. Well guess what, it's not going to work for the simple reason that their target group is not about to be influenced by these idiots - hell, they won't even listen to their parents and you know at least that they have HAD sex (even though many young people do not like to think about the fact that their parents have had - or maybe even are still having - wild monkey sex). What needs to be done is proper education, designed by people who are qualified to inform on these matters - sex workers, doctors and other health professionals. These are the people who should be given fat cheques by the government for helping young people understand sex and enjoy it responsibly (OK, distribution of funds to sex workers is a time honoured part of government, the money usually being distributed in brown envelopes containing low denomination, non-sequential bills). Religion has it's place, but like smoking pot, that place is in the privacy of your own home or in specially designated places. (and if I had my way, like bleach, kept well out of the reach of small children) As for me I'm off to bring hope to some of the 2.4 billion women who might never have an orgasm otherwise

Posted by: Best Friend at July 12, 2004 12:53 PM (tdh2z)

29 Best Friend - America is one of the most educated nations in the world on eating healthy, and yet you can't spit without hitting a fat person here (I've tried). We're not overweight, because we're ignorant, we're overweight because we can't say "no" to a Big Mac. The same is true of kids and sex. It's not that they don't know condoms help prevent babies & STDs or that abstinence is the best preventative, it's just that they won't say "no" to themselves. There's an old saying, "Don't throw good money after bad." The gov't has spent billions on sex education, and yet teen pregnancy & STDs in America is at an all time high. So I don't think we should continue to fund the "experts". Children must have responsibility modeled for them day after day, and that's what we've forgotten. We want to educate but not model responsibility. This is true of eating, drinking alcohol, sex, and any other behavior that can become destructive. Until we model saying "no" to ourselves and teach our children to say "no" to themselves, all the sex education in the world will be wasted.

Posted by: Solomon at July 13, 2004 02:01 PM (k1sTy)

30 Solomon: Unfortunately I cannot talk for the state of things in the US as I have no reliable first hand knowledge (and I have known H long enough to avoid generalisation in that subject ) and thus my remarks were related to the UK and to some extent Sweden. [on the subject of eating a big mac once in a while, that's probably OK if people indeed did enough exercise to burn up the calories that they take in. You could have the most healthy diet (is 'healthy diet' and oxymoron?) in the world, but without exercise you would still put on weight. The food can't be held totally to blame when the only exercise people can be bothered to do is moving their jaw while they chew! This is certainly not a defense of franchise chain burgers as research now shows that some of the chemicals their products contain effectively make the product addictive whilst simultaneously being mood modifying.] Personally I think that smoking is a better example of something that is demonstratably harmful but trying to get even ordinarily sensible and well educated people to kick the habit does not have the success rate that you would expect. You could cause the same effect by randomly lacing cigarettes with cyanide whilst they were being manufactured to instantly induce the same proportion of deaths as happens over time from cancer only without the burden on the health services. My point (and yes I do have one) is this: The thing that smoking and fast food and sex is that you experience pleasure from the immediate experience that far outweighs the thoughts of long term consequences. This effect is enhanced in young people as they tend to perceive themselves as invincible - that the consequences will happen to someone else. I stongly suspect that if my cigarette experiment was put into effect smoking would drop to almost zero overnight. Would you try a cigarette 'just to see what it was like' if there was a chance that you could drop dead on the spot? I think not! At the end of the day you hit the nail on the head when you say it is down to personal responsibility. But where do kids (and we were all kids once) learn responsibility? From the actions of the people they see around them! From their teachers, from politicians, from pop stars, sports stars and movie stars, from the church and from their parents. What are they supposed to think if you have: Politics: a president who pre-emptively instigates regime change on false pretenses and a prime minister poodle who follows him blindly (because he 'believes' and 'has faith' - but has no evidence [for the existance of WMD] - that it's warranted). The Church: when you have the leader of one of the three main monotheistic religions insisting that the use condoms is a sin. This is unquestioningly accepted because he is considered 'infallible' even though the full weight of evidence points in the other direction. Isn't this an incitement to neglect personal responsibility? Celebrities: when the 'beautiful people' and 'designer label' culture is pushed at the expense of substance. I read a report in a paper that the average age of girls suffering from anorexia in the UK is now 8 and that it has been identified in children as young as 5. Boys in their early teens are now regularly taking anabolic steroids in order to get the 'six-pack' look and destroying their brains in the process. Schools: Where teachers are not allowed to touch a child in order to either chastise or comfort for fear of harrassment suits being filed against them. I have a teacher friend who has had desks and chairs thrown at her and cannot respond with more than a demand that the child leaves the room (she is not allowed to enforce it though). Where kids no longer take part in team sports because it's seen as bad if some of the poor darlings lose!! Parents: With divorce now running at about 50% and all the other above pressures to contend with they (for better or worse) are the front line in tackling communications on sex, drugs, smoking, bullying, label demand etc., etc. Maybe the funds should be spent on educating parents how to discuss these issues - that is where the 'experts' come in I suppose. [There's a line in 'Parenthood' when Keanu Reeves character points out that you need a license to drive a car or [even] own a dog but not to be a parent. It's about the only thing that sticks in my mind about the film.] I am a parent and I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter and I love her dearly. She is a little sponge, mopping up all of the influences that she is exposed to with no discrimination over what she takes in. If she does indeed have a soul then I find myself fearing for it.

Posted by: Best Friend at July 14, 2004 02:14 PM (k78uM)

31 Best Friend - I didn't know you had a daughter; daughters are cool. Poisonous cigarettes?...I like it Poisonous Big Macs? Hey, wait a minute Eddie Murphy did a routine in the mid '80s where he said, (paraphrased) "After AIDS, what's next? You put your penis in and explode?" I wonder if even that would curb some people's appetite. I agree wholeheartedly with your analysis about the state of the "community". No source seems to be a good moral anchor for our children. That's why I say parents have to step up and lead and why schools shouldn't try to fill that role. But parents want to defer to the schools (because it's easier), and the schools are happy to oblige (because they can push their agenda). The problem for me is that my moral compass says homosexuality, premarital sex, and worshiping other gods are wrong, so that's what I teach my children; but these are the very topics schools seek to influence children to tolerate, accept, and believe. Schools shouldn't do that. Schools should teach English, Math, Science, History, and Economics not social engineering. I also agree with your analysis about smoking, drinking, sex, and Big Macs all having instant gratification but potentially long term consequences. I praise my daughters every time they don't finish their dessert when they're full. Not because I get to finish it or because it keeps them thin (although both are a plus), but because they're foregoing the instant gratification of stuffing their face for a long term benefit of not getting an upset stomach and being healthy. To reiterate my point from yesterday, and one I think you agree with, I'm doing my absolute best to teach my daughters to say "no" to themselves when appropriate. That way they learn to sacrifice some short term pleasures (not all) for a better long term. Now I just have to find two dads who are doing the same with their sons, so my daughters can marry wise men I enjoy discussing with you and see (in part) why Helen calls you "Best Friend".

Posted by: Solomon at July 14, 2004 09:45 PM (k1sTy)

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