Monaco was stunning.

Pretty fucking hot, but stunning.

It was apparent right after we landed that Angus and I are not cut from the same cloth as the people that party in Monaco. I have never seen so many Ferraris and Lambroghinis in my life. I have never seen so much Prada, Armani, and Bulgari in one area outside of a tax free shop.

This is just the harbor. What you can't see is the Lady Moura, the third largest privately owned boat in the world, with its own helicopter pad. This baby is owned by the accountant to the King of Saudi Arabia, who incidentally owns the world's largest private boat and his son has the second largest. Now, maybe it's me, but if I were a Queen and my accountant had the third largest boat in the world, I'd be smelling an audit, but then I am not a Queen (unless you count that one episode in college, but I am so denying that whole escapade).

This is the Grand Casino, and apparently the oldest casino in the world.

Angus and I went in and watched a while. I thought about playing a few rounds of roulette, but after I found out it cost €300 for just the privilege of sitting my little white ass on a roulette stool, I decided the slot machines were for us. We bet €10. We won €12, which we promptly lost. But we didn't care-we only lost €10, and that's about the cost of a lunch in most European countries, so we were ok about it.

The first day we were due to tour Old Town and see the tombs of the late Prince Albert and his wife, Princess Grace, but we were just too fucking tired. We begged off a tour and slept in. We had sex. We had a huge meal. We had more sex. We have pictures of that, too, but some things aren't meant for posting. We swam in the hotel's saltwater pool warmed to a temperature that made me fall madly in love with said pool. We drank too much Rose wine (because that's what one drinks while in Monaco, don't you know), and then attended a black tie dinner, with him looking stunning and me in that dress again.

The next day the tour had arranged for a series of vintage cars to take us to the medieval village of Eze and to the seaside town of Villefranche.

Who could resist the chance to ride in a large American chopper, imported all this way and celebrated?

In the end, we started off the tour with this car, a 1962 Excalibur.

I chose it because it looked like a cartoon. I felt like Cruella DeVille. Tourists and tour buses took photos of us riding in it, and I felt like waving and saying: Why yes! We work in telecom!

Eze is a fantastic Medieval town snuggled high on the cliffs of the French Riviera. It is stunning, tiny, and full of nooks and crannies that just beg exploration.

It didn't get much more perfectly French than that.

And of course the views over the harbor were amazing. All I could think of was how luscious that water would feel over my skin, how tantalizing it is to swim out in the hot fresh sea.

Of course, the boy turns me on, too. It helps.

We took this little number back to the hotel, a 1969 Buick Skylark that just screamed Starsky and Hutch. It was fantastic, but it didn't help that it was black leather interior that had been open to the sun all afternoon. My ass DNA is still all over that backseat I think.

Even though we were told that all our expenses-bar gambling expenses-would be covered, we didn't milk the company. We could have had helicopter tours, bathed in champagne, or hired yachts, but Angus and I just felt like relaxing and being together. Monaco was beautiful and amazing, but it was a whole world away from us. I'm a Gap and FCUK kind of girl, not a Chanel chick. Not even if I had the money to be otherwise.

I mean, how else could I go without knickers as often as I do if I had paid £5000 for a dress?

-H.

PS-My secret for the day:

When Kim and I went to Venice, he bought a gold ring to have blessed in a church there. He slid it on my finger and told me that spiritually, we were married. After we'd parted and when I was in Bali, I realized that I couldn't have this ring on my finger anymore. I took it off and, running to the ocean, I winged it into the sea as far as I could. This set a precedent for me-now when I leave someone, I throw their jewelry into the water. And now when I am daydreaming, I sometimes pretend that Kim walks in the room and tells me he's sorry, that he never really died, and that he wants me back. In my daydream, I always tell him that I love him and I'm glad he's alive, and then I walk out the door and never see him again.

I'm not sure what this daydream means.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 07:09 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
Post contains 893 words, total size 6 kb.

1 Angus looks like he's putting on weight. My secret for today: so am I.

Posted by: Simon at June 28, 2005 08:07 AM (UKqGy)

2 Monaco is pretty neat, isn't it? Great piccies, Helen Glad you had a good time C.

Posted by: croxie at June 28, 2005 09:30 AM (Bu9fp)

3 ::hugs:: Be strong Helen... Definately sounds like you have much nicer vacations then I....

Posted by: LarryConley at June 28, 2005 11:25 AM (Rd72B)

4 Even describing your great weekend, your unhapiness seeps through. I wish there was some way I could cheer you up.

Posted by: That Girl at June 28, 2005 12:54 PM (gu1Ur)

5 Nice cars!! The '69 Skylark almost made me forget your mention of nekkid pictures. ;-)

Posted by: ~Easy at June 28, 2005 12:55 PM (muLIB)

6 What nice pic's of you, Angus, and Monaco. Glad you had a great time there. I love that cartoon car. I think it screams Jessica Rabbit. I see you more like her that Cruella lol. As far as the daydream? I suck at trying to figure out dreams. Maybe you want to be the one to leave because it hurts more to be left behind?

Posted by: justme at June 28, 2005 01:54 PM (Pa9Dj)

7 My secret is: I love being naked outside of my house. I've streaked through my old neighborhood at 2am, gone bottomless through a fast-food drive thru, walked naked down a hotel hallway, and skinny-dipped in public places. But I'd rather my family not be embarrassed by me getting caught, so I don't do it anymore.

Posted by: at June 28, 2005 02:00 PM (k1sTy)

8 Beautiful pics, and happy Helen and Angus. Monaco looks like a great place for people watching, and Eze like a spot I could love visiting. Someone once told me, act like you want to feel... something to think about when you're blue (as of late). Hey, how do you get flowers to grow out of your head like that?

Posted by: Annette at June 28, 2005 04:06 PM (ATjVO)

9 love the car! although..i think it says a little less Cruella Deville and a little more P.Diddy. Too bad you didnt have a posse in the back, you would have ended up in Entertainment Weekly.

Posted by: h at June 28, 2005 04:09 PM (4dWnl)

10 You're gorgeous, Angus is gorgeous, and Monaco is gorgeous. Thanks for sharing!

Posted by: Lisa at June 28, 2005 04:37 PM (MzcD8)

11 Gorgeous photos of two beautiful people. V+Glad you had a good time there.

Posted by: kenju at June 28, 2005 05:42 PM (Ze7zw)

12 First off, I've been a long time reader & never commented. Guess I am a bit of a wallflower. I enjoy reading your blog because it seems that you have dealt with some of the same issues in life and some that are much worse. Despite this, you seem so much more together than I am. My secret requires a little build up of things that may or may not be a secret depending on how well you know me. -My father left us when I was 4. -When I was 7, a man my mother was dating raped me. Rather than his face, all I can remember about him is his big belly. -The last time I saw my father alive (when I was 14), he had grown VERY fat. -The man I am currently with is overweight. -Despite the fact that he & I have had a great & varied sex life for a number of years, something horrific has happened to me in the past year and a half. For some reason, I can no longer get off unless I am imagining that it is my father doing these sexual things to me and telling me that this is how fathers show their daughters that they love them. That if I love him, I will do these things he enjoys. I have never had fantasies of this nature before. When other teenage girls might fantasize about being raped in order to avoid the stigma of wanting sex, my fantasies were about beating rapists near to death. I realize that this father fantasy was triggered when I learned that my father had died a few years back, homeless and alcholic, by the side of the road. I know that there is some psychological desire for my father's love that has somehow gotten twisted up with the rape that happened to me as a child. But it doesn't change the fact that it makes me physically ill. I try to not fantasize, and I feel totally uninvolved in what is going on. I do fantasize and then I get off, but dissolve into a puddle of tears. This is the first time I have let all this get outside of my head. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to put it into words.

Posted by: KG at June 28, 2005 06:15 PM (m1pQ7)

13 Mmmmm Monaco

Posted by: Elizabeth at June 28, 2005 06:52 PM (+OvEk)

14 hhhmmmÂ… loved the flower hat, in the pic were you and Angus are dressed up for dinner ;-). Monaco sounds waaaaaaayyy off my league, but looks very nice.

Posted by: Miguel at June 29, 2005 12:05 PM (c2jjr)

15 I think the dream means that he will always be in your heart and that you will always love him in a way, but that you have moved on and that your heart now belongs to someone else (symbolized by you walking away and through the door into another life). And I think that this is natural and healthy. Someone who has been so close to your heart cannot just be forgotten or the feelings for him. But they tend to turn into different feelings. Just like love comes in a lot of varieties (for friends, for parents, for siblings, for your children, for your pets, for your partner....) But that is just my guess as a "hobby-psychologist"....

Posted by: Tarantulady at June 29, 2005 01:53 PM (ipvGd)

16 Thatgirl, I'm not very happy, no. I'm working on it. But if any ideas come to mind, let me know.

Posted by: Helen at June 29, 2005 04:48 PM (6DKcA)

17 An anonymous question - Helen have you ever considered you suffer clinical depression? If so have you/are you being treated for it?

Posted by: at June 30, 2005 06:41 AM (puvdD)

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