-----Original Message-----
From: Helen
Sent: 30 August 2005 16:54
To: Angus
Subject: That cat

Oh my God.

Did you know shrews make a high-pitched chittering sound when they are caught in a cats' mouth?

No, I didn't either.

Until now.

*********************************

So yeah. I know I have before mentioned the fact that me, a crunchy granola vegetarian has a killer for a pet. My Mumin, my not-so-bright lightbulb, has bloodlust.

And it took a real nose-dive just before we went to Egypt.

I was sitting on the floor in the living room, and Mumin ran in, meowing, and dropped a frog next to my knee.

It wasn't any old frog.

It was a frog with an apparently frothing stomach as it lay upside-down, as flat as a pancake.

Cue the screaming.

There was me, dancing around on the couch in no time, a real-life version of the woman in the Tom and Jerry cartoons that shrieks and screams when Jerry appears. Angus sighed, picked the frog up and threw it in the trash can with a gentle thud. Mumin looked affronted, Maggie looked bored, and I realized I should have pet and loved the Mumin cat in thanks.

I calmed down and we watched TV. After the program ended, I took the plates into the kitchen to put them in the dishwasher. As our home doesn't have a garbage disposal (Oh little garbage disposal...how I miss thee. I long to drop orange rinds in you and freshen the kitchen, I wish I could inadvertently leave a spoon in there and hear it grind), I walked towards the trash can. I briefly wondered if Angus had dropped the frog corpse in that trash can, or if he'd taken it outside to the bin, and how weird would it be if he was still alive?, when I pushed on the foot pedal, popping the lid open.

And there on the top of the trash bag sat the frog, blinking at me and wishing I was dead.

I stopped for a second in horror, and then 5...4...3...2....1.....

Scream. Scream, as in fucking scream. I screamed like I was being attacked by a John Tesh ambient concert CD. I hit pitches I hadn't seen since I went through puberty. It was the frog, and he was alive again, only he was Frankenfrog come back from the grave to suck my brains out and make me his giantess human minion.

With a scream, I jumped backwards, thereby releasing the foot pedal. A soft *thunk" sound ensued, telling me that the poor newly-revived frog had just been subject to aluminum closing on its head at very high speed, sending it to the bottom of the trash can all over again.

I did the only thing an independent, strong, self-assured modern career woman would do.

I opened my mouth and screamed. "ANGUS! AN-GUS! Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod, it's alive! AN-GUS!"

With a sigh, hunky boyfriend came into the kitchen and looked into the trash can. "Tenacious bastard, isn't he?" he asked, peering down. "He managed to crawl all the way to the top, that's really something." He pulled out the trash can and set the now very dazed frog free outside the side door. We watched him hop to freedom on the gravel path, and even though I was sure that Frankenfrog still wanted to make me his minion, I was pleased to see him alive and hopping. We shut the doors and I tried to get my vocal cords to climb down off the ceiling.

Of course, Mumin caught him the next day and foamed up his stomach all over again. The little fucker may have been alive when we released him, but the near-death experience apparently filled him with a false sense of security.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 08:24 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
Post contains 643 words, total size 4 kb.

1 *lol* I think Angus needs a theme song for these moments It's been so long since I had an outdoor cat that I'd forgotten about that stuff.

Posted by: ~Easy at September 01, 2005 12:18 PM (NL+Vn)

2 That's pretty funny.

Posted by: Solomon at September 01, 2005 01:17 PM (k1sTy)

3 Helen, frogs do this when caught in a predator's mouth... it is a survival thing... they foam up like that to get free. My mother had a doberman when I was younger who loved the frog in mouth feeling, but hated the ensuing foamy aftertaste. Consequences consequences. LOL

Posted by: nuala` at September 01, 2005 03:16 PM (8ePZ6)

4 Frogs are really pretty amazing-not only can they make a grown woman scream-but they are also masters at playing dead. Along with the foaming, they will stop moving, even breathing, so the predator will leave them alone. They just shut down. So don't be fooled, because just when you think they are dead, they will literally jump back to life (though I do like the name Frankenfrog). Its creepy, really.

Posted by: Teresa at September 01, 2005 03:37 PM (gE4dI)

5 Can't stop laughing! I can see this too well! Thank goodness, my kitties are all inside kitties and only bring me catnip mice... That is SO me with spiders...

Posted by: sue at September 01, 2005 04:21 PM (WbfZD)

6 Yeah....Dan tried to flush our frog the cats caught but he wouldn't go down. Ick. Dan had to flush a bazillion times. But like Angus, Dan just took it in stride while I was freaking out all over the place. I still look before I sit down to this day and I ALWAYS WILL! Heh..

Posted by: Amber at September 01, 2005 05:11 PM (zQE5D)

7 Thank you Teresa-you were just my 10,000th comment

Posted by: Helen at September 01, 2005 06:16 PM (ID3Q+)

8 Oh, dear lord! We have frogs all over the place in our yard, and I've seen some doozies! I always jump back at their first hop (although they are undoubtedly jumping away from me), and then I generally pick them up, and put them out of the way of the lawnmower. But yes, they frighten me. And I never like the look of their beady little eyes surveying me, debating if I am the "giantess human minion" of their choosing.

Posted by: scorpy at September 01, 2005 06:51 PM (0GkF1)

9 Why are you afraid of a little frog? I take them out of our pool skimmer almost daily. They pretend to be dead when I lay them down on the concrete pool surround, but as soon as I walk away, they hope off into the woods.

Posted by: kenju at September 02, 2005 04:24 AM (+AT7Y)

10 You mean, I missed being 10,000 by ONE? Sheesh... story of my life...

Posted by: sue at September 02, 2005 02:42 PM (WbfZD)

11 Frankenfrog, gah! I am also an independent, strong, self-assured modern woman and let me tell you, I would have been up on the furniture as well.

Posted by: Fraulein N at September 02, 2005 04:23 PM (zXGMb)

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