Kermit the Frog (god bless the little fucker) once said: It's not easy being green.

And, seriously-I hold Muppet values to be close to godliness here. Where there is no God, there is Fozzie Bear. I'm just saying.

Anyway, Angus and I are both extremely keen on recycling, the environment, crunchy-granola goodness, and dancing naked under the harvest moon ensuring we don't use non-renewable resources whenever possible. We recycle within an inch of its life, only buy electricity from a renewable source, and we'll be putting up solar panels when we extend.

We're not perfect though. We take a lot of flights, which of course is very bad for the environment. For a little while we weren't recycling glass because Angus was at war with the local council. Our toilet waste goes down a pipe to a factory, thanks, and not into our garden.

We try to be conscious in other ways, too. For example, we try to only buy fruits and vegetables grown locally and not things that are flown in. This not only helps local economy, it means we aren't contributing to foods getting loaded on flights, and further polluting the environment. So while I feel better about eating local mushrooms and Lancashire radishes, occasionally I feel a real twinge as I see the South African passion fruits. Sometimes, I even buy one.

Forgive me, hemisphere, for I have sinned.

It extends to cut flowers, too. I love cut flowers in the house, but Kenyan hot houses have contributed to severe pollution and deforestation. So we can only buy local flowers and this time of year, that's likely to consist of a few handfuls of stinging nettle and some evergreen branches. But where I'm occasionally going to cave on an African passion fruit, I don't cave on the non-local flowers.

Truthfully, I feel too guilty.

I'm still a card-carrying member of Catholics Anonymous.

My feeling of moral obligation may waver when it comes to passion fruit, but it really desserts me when I think we're going too PC-crazy. I hate that I have to say "Happy Holidays". Now, of course I don't want to offend anyone. If you are Jewish, then a Happy Hannukah will come your way (which leads me to another fear-I can't say the word "Jews". I just can't. To me, it feels like a swear word, much like "Jap" (which my father explained to me) and the infamous "N" word. Before you react with cries of anti-semitism, I assure you I am definitely not that. Abbreviated terms for ethnic/racial groups just always seem to wind up as racial/ethnic slurs, and even though a Jewish friend assured me this wasn't the case, still it makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't run around saying "Jews", much like I don't over-react and say "Children of Israel". I just work "Jewish" into the conversation.)

Now, if I was in a group and someone came up to me and said: "Happy Hannukah!" I'd simply smile. I'm not Jewish. But big deal, someone wanted to wish me a nicety. That's cool and I'm thankful for their kindness and attention. I'm not a Christian, either, but I don't get upset if someone wishes me a Merry Christmas (which no one does, anymore.) Much like I'm not going to get wound up if someone wishes me a Happy Eid al-Adha, a Happy Dev Diwali, or a Happy Kwanzaa Day (I left off the Buddhists there, but don't take offense, I have no problem with Buddhists (HELLO? Japanese?) I just couldn't get the PDF to download to figure out what holidays the Buddhists had at the end of the year. I love Buddhists. Buddhists are great, in the spiritual non-competitive sense of the word, of course.)

I think we're a little uptight when it comes to the holidays. I read this story with interest, especially as we're going through that airport for New Years (bad airplane ozone burning wasters us! Bad!). I thought: How sad. They had to take the tree down. And why would a rabbi threaten to sue? Isn't it enough to point out the error, ensure Menorrah went up, and then everyone would have a happy transit through an airport? Why does it get so bad we just give up?

Being PC and having a sense of moral obligation is, I think, going too far. A mate of mine went to his children's school play. She was playing Snow White only it wasn't the Snow White we know of. Apparently, Snow White's new name is Jessica (or something like that) as Snow White is offensive to non-whites (I don't know if that's true or not, maybe I'll ask my non-white dad. Truthfully, as the whitest person you could possibly imagine, the term "Snow White" bugs me a bit, but not in a litigious way, just in a "God, I know I look anemic" way). And the artist formerly known as Snow White doesn't live with dwarves as that's offensive to little people (as I am informed that people with achondroplasia (aka dwarfism. Don't be angry, I'm not misuing the term.) are called.) So his kid's play? "Jessica and the Seven Defenders of the Forest."

I shit you not.

And I'm sure the Dwarves Defenders had new names as well. You can't call one Grumpy as it's an insult to people with depression. Ditto for Happy. And calling someone Dopey must be an insult to Stupid people, and Stupid people should never be up for an insult (or-oh God-maybe it's not allowed as Dopey isn't allowed due to concerns over people with mental retardation, in which case I do apologize for being flippant.)

Also, you can no longer sing Baa Baa Black Sheep, as it's not PC. Never mind that black sheep actually exist, they are real fluffy creatures that seem to live harmoniously and don't get uninvited to Thanksgiving dinner. No-here, the nursery rhyme is "Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep".

Somehow, that's lost its edge.

At work we were told we couldn't brainstorm anymore as we were told that's offensive to people with epilepsy. So we "blue-skied" it, only now we have to have a new term for that as we were told "blue-skied" was offensive to people who are color-blind. I don't know what it's called now, we're all terrified of saying it wrong, so we book "discussions to get together and think a lot".

Some PC is right. Sensitivity is needed. It's good to protect people and it's good to protect the environment. I feel guilty if I am doing anything to intercede with that-people may feel abused. England may have record heat. Polar bears may die.

It's just every once in a while I want to sit around with my black sheep family status and light a wood fire, scoff New Zealand grapes and burn Christmas cards of nativity scenes.

Where, ironically, I suspect they'd be banned as the sheep in the picture are all white.

-H.

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UPDATED-sorry, somehow the comments got closed. They've been opened now...

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