My Dearest,

This is early, but I feel this way right now and I haven't been feeling myself lately, I've been quietly there.

Last night I made us dinner. It took a long time but the ritual in it, the basics of getting back to normal...that felt so amazing. When I found the recipe for mushroom and Stilton galette I thought of you instantly and printed it out on the spot. Between conference calls I got it ready and the sheer satisfaction I got out of not only making you dinner for a change, but in the normalcy of the normal, made my evening complete.

I know things are hard right now. They're hard for me, I think they're hard for you. Work has us down. Babies have us down. Being down has us down.

I wanted to thank you for your encouragement and love on the picture taking. It's something so small and silly, but it became one of the things keeping me grounded. I am not great at it, but I try, and the fun I am having in keeping it going means something to me. That you let me know which photos you like, and why, means that you keep supporting me.

Thank you, my lovely.

I think you were right-I have been quiet. It's not that I don't want to have heart to hearts, I've just been feeling like I hadn't any heart left. Not inside, not hiding, not even in the crummy white waxy take-a-away box hiding in the back of the fridge. I thought my heart had been broken.

Turns out it was just a bad sprain.

I am not a liar.

And through pumpkins, through the dog, through that sparkle you get in your eyes when you love me, I'm there.

This note is early, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. Things have been hard, we have been stressed. Phones ring off the hook and there are still some things to discuss which may go bump in the night.

But there is life.

There is mushroom and Stilton galette, after all.

And there is what we have.

Sometimes, I don't think you deserve me.

Sometimes, it's the other way around.

I love you.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 12:39 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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