OK, yesterday?

Yeah. Much happened.

So I trek to my Weakest Link audition, which is held in a hotel not far from a BBC studio in West London. Hotel not in good neighborhood. Helen fears bad neighborhood. Helen also froze her left breast off walking from tube to hotel (not that left breast was flapping lexposed in Arctic-like wind or anything).

I walk into the hotel and seat in the waiting area, with about 8 others that couldn't be more representative of Weakest Link contestants if we tried. We sat around chatting, and then were called in as a group to audition. It went like this: we had to talk about ourselves for one full minute without stopping (a piece of cake for me. I can take a run-on sentence and make it a ten minute-long monologue about tampons, no problem. A minute on myself? Just open mouth, disconnect brain, and BINGO!) Then we had to take a general knowledge quize of 30 questions in 3 minutes. This was also no problem, and I answered them all within 90 seconds (it helps to be a speed reader. But I know I got at least one wrong because I had NO IDEA which English presenter uses the words "cheap as chips".)

Then we had a fake round of the game, and it wasn't easy. It's not easy, and it's only in a hotel conference room with 8 strangers-I can't imagine what it's like in the studio! Suffice to say I did get one wrong ("Open Sesame" comes from Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves. I had blanked on that one and said 1001 Nights. Fuck.) But almost all of us got one wrong, I wasn't the Weakest Link, I banked, and no one tried to vote me off. So there.

Then we had to do an on-camera interview for 5 minutes. We talked about various subjects and one of the producers says to me: You're very articulate. To which my mind immediately screams: You mean for an American? But I do not say this, instead I tamper my defensive reflex down and simply say thank you.

If I actually said all the things that my mind screams, I wouldn't have any friends.

Then it's over. Me with my fancy updo finish up. I'm told I did very well, so I am honestly hopeful that I do hear from them approving me for the show. It would be nerve-wracking but fun.

I ring Angus to tell him all about it. I then ring Peter, my friend and fellow project manager for our Gerbil project. He's getting ready in his hotel, which turns out is only 500 yards away from the museum. I hesitantly ask if I can use his bathroom to get ready in, as otherwise I am stripping down and putting on the formal wear in the bathroom at the audition. He says absolutely and I make my way over (note-I have met his wife and he's met Angus a number of times. There was absolutely nothing that would have gone on between us, we're just mates).

I change in his teeny-tiny bathroom, then come up and finish the makeup and jewelry. He cracks open the minibar and we drink a half-bottle of white wine in the two chipped white coffee mugs and watch an episode of The Simpsons before we go (it was the one where Lisa tries to dress up and be someone else in order to win a beauty pageant. I know that feeling).

Then we went to the Museum of Natural History.

And I honestly had done a coin toss and honestly wore the dress the coin told me to wear (I am susecptible like that.) I wore Dress B.

And I felt BEAUTIFUL.

And I'm also pleased I wore Dress B as it fit in largely with what the few other women were wearing. Since the work I am in is largely technology driven, the women? We are few and far between. My jewelry was 1920's London vintage, a sparkly necklace, bracelet, and earrings.

The evening was amazing. Holding a dinner in amongst the fossils was a perfect venue. Champagne flowed, people talked and laughed, and I spent time with my team, Peter, my manager Jeff, and our senior manager Dan. We sat at our table next to an enormous dinosaur skeleton, with one whole wall lit up to look like stars at night.

Dinner proceeded. I actually had a good time there with my team, and with others on the table on other projects also in competitions. Our category-the "main event", the Dream Job version of the Best Picture Oscar, was dead last in the running order of the evening. Appetizers came from waiters in crisp white jackets, orchestrated by a maitre d' per table who wore an earpiece in his ear, conducting his symphony of staff with exact precision. Peter and I switched to water early on in the evening as all the champagne was going to our heads.

Appetizers turned to dinner. I played with the rose petals nervously in the middle of the table. Other awards were handed out as dinner turned to dessert (which I didn't eat). More awards pass and I play with the sparkly stars strewn around our table. Dessert turns to coffee, then it's our category, the last category of the evening.

The Knighted Chap walks onstage, as he will be the presenter of this award. I've met the Knighted Chap three times prior to this, only it still makes me nervous being around him (Hi Knighted Chap. I grew up in military housing and bought my entire formal attire I am wearing this evening for £43. You have a security detail, bodyguards, and three palatial homes. How you doing?) He goes on the stage and announces the three finalists of Dream Job's highest prize. It was the most hotly competitive category with many entries. The Knighted Chap looks up and says that it's his special honor to present this award to a team he believes earned it and worked so hard.

And then he says my name.

We won.

WE WON!!!!!

Shaking and grinning so hard my head nearly popped open, I grab Peter and Jeff's hands and drag them to the stage, with Dan finishing off the group. I go on stage and receive a handshake and a kiss from the Knighted Chap, and then I grab Peter and give him a bear hug. I grab Jeff and Dan as well as we have a team hug, and I even grab the Knighted Chap in a fit of exuberance and make him join the all-American hugging session too.

There is a webcast on Dream Job's site that shows us hugging and then shows me grabbing Knighted Chap rather exuberantly.

We won.

Fucking hell, we won.

We sit back down.

We've received a plaque, which will go into the new lab we've just built in London for the work we do.

(I was requested to show a plaque-holding photo, and I aim to please. But I've cut out the name of Dream Job and my colleagues posing with me to protect them and myself!)

We won a gold medal made from a London jewelers with our name, the award, and the date on it.

And we won £1000 in shopping vouchers each.

The CEO called me as I was in the cab home to congratulate the project and tell me he was so proud.

It was a lovely evening.

-H

PS-I'm glad I picked the blue dress. There's a May Ball coming up, and I know just the dress to wear to it (*cough*Dress A*cough).

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 09:39 AM | Comments (49) | Add Comment
Post contains 1288 words, total size 8 kb.

1 yes yes yes yes!!!! We all knew you would win darlin because you totally deserved it! And you made the right choice of dress. You're bloody gorgeous! Sexy, sophisticated, and not at all prom-queen-esque Congrats babe. Here's to your award AND your fab dress! AxXx

Posted by: Lemurgirl at February 02, 2006 11:03 AM (kZzM5)

2 congratulations gorgeous... I feel so smilie. you won and I picked the right dress and you look divine in it... HEHE Bises!

Posted by: stinkerbell at February 02, 2006 11:14 AM (QcMkT)

3 CONGRATULATIONS! And the dress looks great. Nice to know you have Dress A waiting in the wings as well!

Posted by: jac at February 02, 2006 12:06 PM (Hi9nn)

4 Awesome! (I feel like I should follow that with a surferish duuuuuuuude!) You're getting the recognition for the hard work you and your team have put in. Even if your manager can't see past himself to recognize it, the higher-ups sure do. I love the dress your coin toss chose and the jewelry is gorgeous.

Posted by: selzach at February 02, 2006 12:56 PM (G9MYN)

5 Well done you!!! And not at all allsort-esque ;-)

Posted by: Rob at February 02, 2006 01:18 PM (wZqoJ)

6 Hip Hip Hooray!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you!

Posted by: amber at February 02, 2006 01:22 PM (VZEhb)

7 Woohoo! Congratulations! I'm so very happy for you and your team. You've all worked so hard to get your gerbils boosting off that it's good to see you being recognized for the blood, sweat, and tears you've poured into the job.

Posted by: Myles at February 02, 2006 01:26 PM (m/+Gw)

8 Wow. First off, you look stunning-honestly, just gorgeous. Everything about you, but especially the smile-it says it all. Congrats on the audition, and super-congrats on the award. Lord knows you fucking deserve it! It is wonderful to see you so happy. THe best part? Another ball in May-you get to wear both dresses!!! ;-)

Posted by: Teresa at February 02, 2006 01:28 PM (zf0DB)

9 Well done, Helen! Nightmare boss be damned, you pulled it off and looked fabulous to boot!

Posted by: Teri at February 02, 2006 01:33 PM (K7jOL)

10 Wow! You look fabulous! And super big congratulations on winning the prize. And as for "Cheap as Chips" - David Dickinson from Bargain Hunt. (I think)

Posted by: Orodemniades at February 02, 2006 01:40 PM (Bd74n)

11 .. wow!... good for you and your team!..

Posted by: Eric at February 02, 2006 01:44 PM (r5XsL)

12 Aww...Helen! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! You and the Dream Team deserved that award. You look so happy in those pictures, do you see that? I chose dress A but I have to admit, you do look stunning in B. I hope Angus feels stunning under it! *wink

Posted by: Lindsay at February 02, 2006 01:48 PM (icxd8)

13 It didn't matter what dress you wore...that genuine, gigantic smile you have on in the photo where you're holding the award? Sheer beauty. You're amazing. Congratulations! Now take Angus out to celebrate, just the two of you...

Posted by: Serena at February 02, 2006 02:04 PM (ToHm9)

14 Wonderful. Dress was great, glad was appropriate. Congratulations on the award.

Posted by: Foggy at February 02, 2006 02:22 PM (Ah2V/)

15 That's fabulous! I'm thrilled for you!

Posted by: RP at February 02, 2006 02:25 PM (LlPKh)

16 Outstanding!! I'm so happy for you and your team! Wonderful choice of dress, as well. And congratulations on the audition's having gone so well!

Posted by: Lisa at February 02, 2006 02:37 PM (5vmEt)

17 Yay Helen! WELL DONE to all of you. The dress? brilliant! I smiled hardest when i saw the picture of you by the skeleton mounted on the wall, i have stood there too taking pictures! Abs x

Posted by: abs at February 02, 2006 02:38 PM (Z5qG3)

18 Congratulations!! What an excellent evening for you. And, you looked stunning. Great choice with your dress.

Posted by: B at February 02, 2006 03:12 PM (TQHLW)

19 Congrats darlin'! You look so happy in the photos! I'm so glad all your hard work and stress was finally recognized. And all that shopping money? Excellent!

Posted by: amy t. at February 02, 2006 03:47 PM (zPssd)

20 #1: You look FABULOUS in that dress! Very posh! #2: Congratulations on the award! And the shopping vouchers.

Posted by: Lisa at February 02, 2006 04:03 PM (IVqzN)

21 Congratulations on a well deserved award! What a fantastic evening!

Posted by: Liv at February 02, 2006 04:10 PM (AbDXn)

22 I'm so glad you picked B!!!!!! You looked gorgeous and amazing and beautiful, and congrats on being super-intelligent and hard-working, as well. You rock, Helen. And not just because of your fabby dress and jewelry.

Posted by: trouble at February 02, 2006 04:12 PM (j2vfb)

23 How wonderful!! Congratulations, you deserve this 1000 times over!! You look lovely in the dress you chose, and the jewelry is absolutely perfect! So I think you should feel the best about your job. You are obviously appreciated! And in more ways than a warm fuzzy! : )

Posted by: Annette at February 02, 2006 04:14 PM (h/BkP)

24 Sweet jesus, what an evening! Congrats...all your hard work paid off. And you looked smashing in dress B.

Posted by: Marie at February 02, 2006 04:56 PM (PQxWr)

25 You should be so proud!! You deserve this so much! Isn't it nice when all that hard work has a payoff? Congrats, congrats, congrats to you and your team. YOU made it happen and should be so proud. It's nice when the higher-ups recognize it, too! Good for you, gf! btw - you look stunning in that dress. Perfect choice. Good luck with the Weakest Link and I'd say you're on a roll right now... things are looking up up up... keep it goin', hon...!!!

Posted by: sue at February 02, 2006 04:59 PM (WbfZD)

26 Congratulations! You look like you felt beautiful in the dress - which makes you look more beautiful. What an evening... I'm so thrilled for you. and did I miss something - is that an engagement ring you're wearing in some of the pictures? Or is it just a ring that happens to be on that finger?

Posted by: martha at February 02, 2006 05:14 PM (M7fGT)

27 WE should officially stop calling that dress B, because there is nothing B about it... except beautiful! You look absolutely stunning! I think we are about the same size, if I have an event would you ship it over to me? I love it. And the jewelry. Huge congratulations. I feel a little silly that I got teary eyed over this. I need to remind myself that I only "know" you in cyber world.

Posted by: SaraJane at February 02, 2006 05:31 PM (H5++6)

28 You look MAHvelous Dahling. Simply Mahvelous. Which is good since you won (I knew you would!) So happy for you!

Posted by: caltechgirl at February 02, 2006 05:58 PM (/vgMZ)

29 Congratulations! You looked great and it sounds like you had a Wonderful Eve.

Posted by: Manda at February 02, 2006 06:29 PM (838ff)

30 you looked great. congrats on winning the top prize and hearing YOUR name called out for your team, not the evil one. woohoo!

Posted by: becky at February 02, 2006 06:39 PM (jv5jW)

31 Fabulous! That made my day. I'm so happy for you!

Posted by: kitty at February 02, 2006 06:52 PM (cyfSY)

32 You look AMAZING. Truly beautiful. And FREAKING CONGRATS!!!!!! I'm proud like I actually know you! You sooo deserve it. And thanks for the trophy shot, I love those, and what an amazing smile you've got on!

Posted by: stephanie at February 02, 2006 07:45 PM (/Tod5)

33 You look FABULOUS. The dress, the jewelry, the hair...it was all perfect! CONGRATULATIONS!!

Posted by: Ornery at February 02, 2006 07:52 PM (2KXgQ)

34 YAAAY! Congratulations! You deserve it and you looked beautiful! B looked like the right way to go after all. Great taste in jewelry too! By the way, my brother was on The Weakest Link a few years ago. It was the one in the US though - the one with the meanie British woman. Anne something? He had a blast. Hope you get picked!

Posted by: Lee at February 02, 2006 07:58 PM (PYZOC)

35 HALLELUJAH! I'd like to say you won because you wore the dress I liked best - but I know it was because you guys were the best at the project! Congratulations! I'd loe to see what you buy with the reward.

Posted by: kenju at February 02, 2006 09:26 PM (2+7OT)

36 I forgot to say that you looked amazing and I love that color.

Posted by: kenju at February 02, 2006 09:27 PM (2+7OT)

37 Your smile alone lights up the room! MAZEL TOV! Congratulations and well done. And enjoy the shopping spree.

Posted by: Jocelyn at February 02, 2006 09:44 PM (jkRb/)

38 Fan-Fucking-Tastic!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! No one deserves it more. And hot damn, but you looked good!

Posted by: Elizabeth at February 02, 2006 10:19 PM (ceeh7)

39 Huge congratulations! You look amazing! Enjoy basking in your win!

Posted by: sophie at February 02, 2006 10:21 PM (yZwDD)

40 Congrats on the award. It's always lovely when hard work and dedication are recognized. Plus, you look fabulous in that dress.

Posted by: Primal at February 02, 2006 10:33 PM (0Qeh3)

41 Congrats! YAY YOU! And the dress looked perfect, it did! Really thrilled for you. :-) :-) :-)

Posted by: Amber at February 03, 2006 12:22 AM (zQE5D)

42 congratulations, doll! you totally deserve it for all of the hard work you've been putting into your project!

Posted by: girl at February 03, 2006 12:40 AM (NDI2V)

43 I second what Elizabeth said!

Posted by: flikka at February 03, 2006 03:19 AM (puvdD)

44 Jolly good show, what what. Well done.

Posted by: Simon at February 03, 2006 05:18 AM (FUPxT)

45 WOOHOOO!!! I'm so glad for you and your team. From this side of the pond and the screen, it seems like you all earned it in spades. :-D

Posted by: tommy at February 03, 2006 06:22 AM (EhwJT)

46 Congratulations! That's wonderful!

Posted by: Trace at February 03, 2006 09:48 AM (XO1t+)

47 Congratulations! And you look just stunning in that dress! Glad you had a great time.

Posted by: justme at February 03, 2006 02:09 PM (I0ENd)

48 You look fanfuckingtastic. Stunning, even. CONGRATULATIONS, sweetie!! Couldn't happen to a nicer girl. :-) P.S. Okay, I wasn't going to say anything. But. Please don't judge American Idol on the basis of the preliminary loser shows. I don't even start watching until the final 12 are picked. Then? It's gets to be something really specail and amazine. Well, at least it has been in years past. And I don't even like TV. Warbling in my horrid offkey voice in a mutilation of Lennon: "Give AI a chance..." *snicker*

Posted by: Jennifer at February 04, 2006 08:27 PM (y4DOI)

49 You look positively stunning - and congratulations! Certainly well deserved.

Posted by: April at February 06, 2006 05:41 PM (MSB13)

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