It's another one of those blustery Fall days-rain is falling, the skies are grey, and everything is covered in a layer of arthritic cling film. The odd leaf swirls in the hallway (I must vacuum) and the chill in the air is undeniable. At night we huddle under the new duvet on the bed-it's goose down, and 13.5 tog, so although the initial slide into the bed is chilly, soon we become as warm and toasty as burritos.

Tonight Melissa and Jeff arrive for the weekend. We haven't seen them in a while (since Wales, since pregnancy) and it will be nice to have the house full of the rambunctious noise that accompanies children. Gorby, in particular, will be blissed out-these kids have a place in his heart and when they leave, he gets a bit depressed. It's always nice seeing them, especially for Angus-he misses them terribly. He calls them "My babies", which sometimes I hurt from because my own babies can't seem to make it outside of my uterus.

Melissa and I have been getting along very, very well. She's getting to be a moody teenager, but she has up moments that are good fun. When she was last here we spent lots of time talking about films, movie stars, makeup, and clothes when she was last here. It's all not heavy stuff, but it doesn't have to be. She borrows my makeup and nail polish. She looks through my clothes. None of this I mind. When she was last here if she noticed me heaving in the bathroom often, she didn't comment on it (and the minds of children are wonderous things, and maybe it didn't even warrant a thought.)

So a week or two ago on a warm sunny Sunday Angus popped his head into the study, looking perplexed.

"Melissa's on the phone," he said, holding the handset like the witness to a crime. "And...she wants to talk to you," he said, slightly dazed.

I felt my eyebrows raise. This was not in the script, this is not how things are done. "She wants to talk to me?" I ask stupidly. "Why?" I ask, upping the stupid notch even further.

He shrugs in the "eyeano" manner.

I take the handset like it's a ticking object. "Hello?"

"Hi Helen," comes Melissa's voice, which has a strong English accent to it.

"What's up, man?" I ask.

"Nothing much. I'm watching TV with International Erin," she replies. Melissa goes to an English-speaking school in Sweden. Erin is her closest friend who, she proudly pointed out, spelt her name the international way and not the Swedish way. Nickname ensued, hence Erin is now International Erin. International Erin and Melissa will even be coming to visit us for a long weekend in February, where International Erin will flex her English muscle.

"Good. Anything good on?" I reply. I look at my feet and wonder when the other shoe is coming down.

"Not really," Melissa replies, and goes on to describe the film.

We then talk about Converse, as when we go to the States I'd planned to buy a pair for myself, and she wants a pair, too, only not as barnsligt (Swedish for "childish") as mine. Our conversations tend to be peppered with English and Swedish. Melissa thinks my toys and-in particular-my choices in Target socks are, in her opinion, "pinsam" (which means "embarrassing" in Swedish).

Pinsam is uttered from her 14 year-old lips a lot.

It's hard being a teen.

We talk further about jackets-I have a coat she nicks every time she comes here in cold weather. She states she wants a coat just like that for Christmas. And jeans. And shoes. And maybe we should go shopping the next time she's here?

I wonder what's happening here.

I don't tell her that Angus will take her shopping while Jeff and I go to the films-Jeff is the only one that wants to see Pixar and animated movies with me (we saw Over the Hedge together, screaming with laughter like idiots. It became, in his words, "The best movie I ever saw." I love that.)

So then I tell Melissa to go watch her movie.

"No wait, Helen!" she says quickly. "I wanted to tell you something!"

"Go on, babe," I reply.

"Um. OK. I....I met this boy."

Holy shit.

Melissa wants to talk to me about a boy.

Oh my fucking god.

I felt so honored you'd think I'd won the Nobel prize or something.

"Cool," I say calmly. "What's he like?"

"He's an American!" she says excitedly.

"Really?" I ask, smiling.

"Yeah, and guess where he's from!" she says happily.

"Lemme guess....he's from Texas?" I say.

"Yes! He's from Fort Worth!"

"Well. Now quality people are from Dallas, but we'll accept Fort Worth, too."

"Oh, Helll-ennnnnnnn,," she replies, with that "rolling the eyes" feeling injected into the words.

"What's he like? Is he cute?" I ask.

"Mm-hmmm," she affirms. "Tall."

"Good, tall is good. We like tall boys."

And so it goes. She tells me about him. She laughs and talks about details until International Erin calls her back to the TV, at which point Melissa gives me the kid version of saying goodbye, known as "IgottagobutI'lltellyoumorelaterokbye."

I hang up, and grin.

I tell Angus about the conversation and swear him to secrecy. Melissa hadn't told him about the boy. Turns out, Melissa hasn't told anyone about the boy.

Except me.

She told me.

Melissa wanted to speak to me because she wanted to tell me about a boy. Melissa wanted to speak to me because she thought I would be one person she could talk about it too. Mostly? Melissa wanted to speak to me.

I can't even begin to describe how happy that phone call made me.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 10:51 AM | Comments (23) | Add Comment
Post contains 980 words, total size 6 kb.

1 as a step child myself, all I can say is.... *sniff*

Posted by: cristin at October 06, 2006 11:29 AM (X69+3)

2 That's awesome! It's crazy how patience can totally give way to something so heart warming Here's to many more conversations like that.

Posted by: Minawolf at October 06, 2006 12:35 PM (cH5GO)

3 Wow, Helen. That's so cool. She may be a moody teenager, but she knows that she's lucky to have someone special like you in her life

Posted by: donna at October 06, 2006 12:40 PM (co3LV)

4 It makes me happy for you too. That is a huge expression of trust, Helen, as I am sure you know. Your relationship with her will grow nicely. I love seeing animated movies with my grandkids, and since they don't live close to me anymore, I don't get to see the movies as often. I miss it.

Posted by: kenju at October 06, 2006 12:45 PM (2+7OT)

5 I, too, was a step-child. This IS a really big deal...so I am really glad that you understand and appreciate the magnitude of the whole situation. I am so happy for you. But, I'm also happy for Melissa because every girl should have a mum/step-mum as wonderful as you.

Posted by: Dana at October 06, 2006 12:53 PM (Zp/ni)

6 that is so unbelievably cute. on your part and hers and for what it's worth, i LOVED Over The Hedge.

Posted by: geeky at October 06, 2006 01:41 PM (ziVl9)

7 Beautiful. Truly, beautiful.

Posted by: cursingmama at October 06, 2006 02:00 PM (PoQfr)

8 Ok, I got teary that she wanted to talk to you about a boy. I'm so happy for you, H!

Posted by: RP at October 06, 2006 02:04 PM (LlPKh)

9 Another step child here - and a redheaded one to boot - just saying that made me tear up a bit.

Posted by: April at October 06, 2006 02:53 PM (MSB13)

10 Here is to a whole new relationship between you two. Congrats!

Posted by: Teresa at October 06, 2006 06:24 PM (PZNTf)

11 *doin' the happy dance*... YAY!

Posted by: sue at October 06, 2006 06:25 PM (WbfZD)

12 **giggly** how COOL is that?

Posted by: caltechgirl at October 06, 2006 07:14 PM (/vgMZ)

13 You go girl! As a step-daughter (dad's wife is only 8 or 9 years older than me), I have found my dad's wife to be a great friend. As a step-mother (I'm 29, she's 10), I hope to have a firm foundation of friendship laid so that as she gets older she will be comfortable to talk to me when talking to her mother will be awkward.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at October 06, 2006 07:15 PM (5eGox)

14 that's awesome! but no no, you have it backwards. she hit the jackpot! the quality ones are from Fort Worth. occasionally there's an acceptable one from Dallas, but they're rare. ;-)

Posted by: sarahk at October 06, 2006 07:28 PM (ND1d/)

15 So Melissa now trusts you enough to share her fourteen-year old girly secrets with you. Honestly, doesn't that feeling beat the shit out of some of the "awards" that is given to you from work? Sounds like you got your priorities right where they belong. Run with them.

Posted by: diamond dave at October 06, 2006 08:53 PM (gJjTd)

16 That's awesome. I remember reading a quitw a few posts from you where you were worried that you would be eternally hated by both the step-kids. Glad to see they're both an excellent judge of character. I guess that comes from Angus.

Posted by: Lindsay at October 06, 2006 09:51 PM (c/mn3)

17 Wow...as a stepmom whose step-daughter thinks she's the worst thing since...well...whatever the worst thing is....congrats! I don't know that I'll ever share that with my step-daughter. I envy you ;-)

Posted by: Tracy at October 07, 2006 03:39 AM (zv3bS)

18 Just today, I read a post from someone who talked about how important it is for teenagers to have adult friends / role models who are not their parents, who are people that they can talk to and open up to. The phrase used was something like "adults who can help them see the world beyond the walls of the teenage ghetto." Adults who can talk to a teen, she wrote, are invaluable. They help the teen beyond all telling. They show the teen that being an adult is a good thing, and that they will have friends once they've crossed that magic barrier. Congratulations, Helen, you are that invaluable adult. In many ways, I think, that's an even better position than stepmom. (And now I'm thinking back to that "choosing your family" post, and this is that perfect example. I think you've been chosen.)

Posted by: B. Durbin at October 07, 2006 03:49 AM (tie24)

19 yeah, i totally get what you're feeling. the other day, the (step) kid called me to ask advice about her classes. i was the first one she called. made me feel damn good. here's to more; hugs to you chica.

Posted by: becky at October 07, 2006 05:57 AM (gxmeq)

20 Even i am feeling joy that she talked to you about this! Abs x

Posted by: abs at October 08, 2006 10:05 AM (gkauC)

21 That is so fricken awesome, Helen. I am beyond thrilled for you---what an honor!

Posted by: Serenity at October 09, 2006 12:33 AM (D3MDG)

22 That rocks! You are correct that the quality people are from Dallas. And you did tell her that the proper pronounciation is "Foat Wuth", right?

Posted by: ~Easy at October 09, 2006 11:46 AM (u8qrx)

23 Way cool, Helen. The thought of my now 8 years old steps talking to me about boys freaks me out more than a little. Your relationship with Melissa and Jeff gives me hope. Enjoy the moments.

Posted by: sophie at October 15, 2006 03:35 PM (R8lH1)

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