So this weekend is the first weekend Gorby will try out his new kennel. Unfortunately, he gets a stint in the kennel while we're away for New Year's, and this weekend we're off to Yorkshire so this is a good trial. I hate that he's in a kennel, but I have checked it out and it's ok-heated, indoor and outdoor portions for him, a long run and two long walks a day, plus he loves being around other dogs and will get loads of that.

Still, you feel guilty. Really guilty.

He gets dropped off in a little while.

We're up in Yorkshire at around lunchtime. I hope it's a nice weekend as we really need one-we've clocked up 5 days of depression and not getting along now, so staying at that fantastic place with the showers is just what we need.

Hope it works.

***************************************************

So Monday is my driving test. That's right. I finally got around to booking a test. I don't want to do it and am really fucked off that I have to (the fuck? I can't swap my license here for an EU one, but Japanese drivers can. I've been driving more than half my life now, you think I can't drive a fucking car here?) I signed up for lessons-again-as they teach you how to drive so that you can pass.

My guy showed up a few weeks ago.

The cars can't get any more obvious that I am not a licensed driver.

My instructor is very nice, and I call him La Mole. I call him this because he looks like this guy, only sans cane. The first time I got in the car he tried to tell me how to use the stick shift and the steering wheel. I quietly informed him that seriously-I can do this driving thing. Then I showed him and he agreed that I can, indeed, do this driving thing.

We work on the maneuvers mostly-part of the test is that you need to execute 3 out of 5 possible maneuvers. The one I am worst as is reversing around a corner, mostly because it's not easy and secondly? Who the hell does that? And WHY?

We had a lesson yesterday and it didn't go so well. I am getting pretty nervous about this test that I am over-compensating, badly.

"Uh, Helen?" asked La Mole.

"Yes?" I replied.

"You could drive faster you know."

"I don't want to speed."

"I don't want you to speed either, but a bicyclist just passed you. I think that means you need to speed up."

La Mole is nice. We both hope I pass on Monday, especially since the average number of attempts to pass the driving test here in the UK is seven. Seven. I don't even want to do anything fun seven times in a row, let alone something as taxing as a driving test. So it would indeed be nice to pass, considering I took the wrong exit at a roundabout yesterday that would, in essence, have been an automatic failure were I testing. La Mole was nice about it: "Helen! You need to pay attention! You need to couunt the exits!"

I know, dude. I know. Story of my life.

***************************************************

Work is not yet slowing down, but as of next week it should do. I only have to be in London one day next week (besides on Friday when we take his kids to The Lion King). I was finishing up the last of my Christmas shopping yesterday (I only need one more thing) and was paying for things at Paperchase. I was absolutely exhausted. The very attractive sales guy looked at me and grinned. He looked absolutely exhausted, too.

"You look tired," he said kindly.

"Dude, YOU look tired," I replied, smiling.

"I could sleep for days," he said.

"God I know. I would love to go to bed and simply shut the door and sleep for days," I moaned.

"That's EXACTLY what I want!" he said excitedly, in a tired kind of way. "What do you want for Christmas?"

"I've asked Santa for sleeping pills." I said, nodding.

"Huh. Might be interesting. Santa as a dealer."

"It could happen."

Ironic, isn't it? Hot guy, not so hot girl, and they don't do any casual flirting or anything, they both just really want to go to sleep?

Christmas, man.

The bounce of it has gone from my step.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 08:20 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 745 words, total size 4 kb.

1 Good luck with the driving test! I had to take mine (for my first license) here in Holland 3 times... but my mom, who'd driven for about 20 years in America, did 5 lessons and then passed it in one go. I'm sure you'll do great.

Posted by: Hannah at December 15, 2006 09:07 AM (RqLl8)

2 You're coming up north? Bring an umbrella and some wellies, oh and possibly a torch 'cause it's really dark right now! Good luck with your test!

Posted by: Gill at December 15, 2006 10:01 AM (uDpoc)

3 Think of it as a vacation for Gorby. I felt guilty the first time I dropped our dog off at the kennel, but now I realize how much he loves it. When we drop him off, he can't wait to go back, and goes eagerly with the attendant without so much as a backward glance. After we pick him up he comes home and takes a dump in the back yard, then he sleeps for the next 24 hours. Oh yes. He has a good time.

Posted by: ~Easy at December 15, 2006 12:41 PM (FKBK3)

4 Yes, but does your kennel have a name as good as The Doggie Dude Ranch & Cat Farm? I thought not. I have no guilt because I get to say, "Oh, well, Josie & the Pussycats, Melba Toast and Boris LOVE the Doggie Dude Ranch. And Cat Farm." I could let my 16 year old take you for a spin and you would be so thankful to be alive (if, indeed, you survived) afterward that your own test would no longer trouble you in the slightest. I was grateful to be alive three separate times yesterday alone.

Posted by: gennimcmahon at December 15, 2006 01:49 PM (QqF9v)

5 I passed my test in one, after two months - it can be done. We stayed at Hotel Du Vin in Bristol this time last year - lovely. The showers really are fantastic. And with reference to your last post, I really had Upper Buttfuck down as being in Gloucestershire, or at least Wales. I am surprised.

Posted by: alice at December 15, 2006 04:22 PM (iRqms)

6 Wishing you a relaxing trip... and lots of sleep. Or, maybe not quite so much. Gorby will have a ball. Plus, you'll get lots of extra love and kisses when you get home. They always are so happy to see you come get them. I think this is expecially true of pound puppies or kitties. It's like they think at first you are taking them back to "that place"... and are so thrilled when you come back and you really DO love them! I flunked my first driving test because I couldn't parallel park. Of course, being nervous didn't help. Good luck with that!

Posted by: sue at December 15, 2006 04:39 PM (WbfZD)

7 7??? Ouch. Geez you'd think they'd let you off a little. Gorby will be fine at the kennel. My princess always loved to be with the other dogs, even though I hated leaving her there. The place with the showers? Cool. I hope you have a lovely weekend!

Posted by: caltechgirl at December 15, 2006 06:42 PM (r0kgl)

8 I know you didn't just refer to yourself as the "not so hot girl." I know you didn't.

Posted by: girl at December 15, 2006 07:14 PM (z6Kyx)

9 I'm guessing you will never be as utterly humiliated at the kennel as I was. Try standing in front of a long row of cat cages and NOT BEING ABLE TO PICK OUT YOUR OWN CAT. The cat you've had for 12 YEARS. Yes, it's true. Domestic shorthair tabbies, what can I say, they all look the same. And it wasn't like she was helping me out by pressing her paws against the gate and joyfully meowing at the sight of me. She was curled up asleep and seemed rather miffed when I reached in to get her (after, of course, the kennel attendant had to POINT HER OUT TO ME). Yeah, I felt like the worst, most horrible, most neglectful pet owner in the whole world! Talk about guilt.

Posted by: Lesley at December 16, 2006 05:39 AM (rXCaM)

10 I failed my first driving test, and then took it in a small town where you just had to drive around the block. He asked me to turn left, and I turned right due to nervousness. He said, "Well, one block is 'bout the same as the other, I s'pose."

Posted by: sophie at December 17, 2006 04:53 PM (1HOa8)

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