A bit disjointed, but then I got very little sleep last night (just couldn't sleep. And you know when you take a sleeping tablet to reach that sleeping goal, but it occasionally backfires and you overshoot the sleeping mark so badly that you spin around in bed and your legs twitch? Yeah. I had that.) As a result of no sleep, I'm non compos mentis this morning and making very little sense-despite having coffee and being on a million conference calls today, I'm flagging. Bad. So here are a number of small bites, as I am barely conscious just now.

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I just checked on something in my archives and noticed that old posts using an apostrophe in them now have some kind of weird character string in them. I could fix the posts-which I will inevitably do as I'm neurotic-or I could imagine that it's MI6 code for contacting aliens about the best field in Britain to land the mother ship on. I'm going for the MI6 code for now.

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Five weeks to Christmas, people, five weeks! I've been playing Christmas carols on my iTunes already. Angus has declared war on this act by insisting on playing fetch with Gorby's most favorite (and most annoying) squeaky toys around me. By the time Christmas rolls around, we'll either have a winner or one or both of us will be deaf.

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I had a London meeting yesteday and managed to swing in to Starbucks beforehand (gingerbread latte!) to ease my caffeine needs. Before I got to the queue I realized something was wrong. Something was wrong with my skirt, specifically. I felt like I was wrapped up like a mummy, bunched in some kind of trapping-fabric prison. Turns out the lining to my skirt had gotten tucked into my tights. Once I realized what was going on I knew I had to fix it now-right now-as otherwise it would drive me mad. I stepped outside of Starbucks, stood in front of a black wall, and froze my tits off while I lifted the back of my skirt, pulled the liner free from the prison of both my stockings and my knickers, and then adjusted my Underoos (they weren't really Underoos I just like to pretend they are. They give me super powers, in that I'm able to leap tall buildings with a single beaver) and my tights, smoothed my skirt, and went back in.

So then I waited in a giant queue (gingerbread latte!) and I found out they have a Starbucks prepay card. I signed up for one, and even broke it in buy buying my venti nonfat gingerbread latte (I think people that order complicated coffees are pretentious asses-"half caf cap decaf double shot soy latte!"-but at Christmas time, I abandon my ordinary Americano and join Assville.) I got my coffee from the coffee window and saw people staring at me, grinning. I grinned back. I love coffee. I love Christmas. I love my new Starbucks prepay card. Everybody happy.

Then I reached around for a napkin and realized the black wall I stood in front of to fix my tights wasn't a wall at all, but a privacy window. The black wall was actually glass. I didn't see them, but the patrons of Starbucks saw every stitch of my undercarriage clothing and my white ass as I fixed my skirt.

I shrugged it off.

I've done worse.

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Before I get all depressed again at how many bloggers are getting knocked up without even trying (This is why I haven't been reading other people's blogs, and why I'm going back to my little turtle shell again, la la la, I can't hear you), can I just say...ew?

Mrs. Claus does not get knocked up. Mrs. Claus is about 1,000 years old, all she does is bake cookies and pet the reindeer. Santa Claus could not get her pregnant-he doesn't even have a penis, I'm sure of it (I haven't checked myself, it's one of those things you just know, like you know that You Can Believe It's Not Butter doesn't actually taste anything like butter and that Paris Hilton knows her way around an antibiotic cabinet). So for the makers of said film? Yeah. I owe you a nightmare.

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I'm going on 4 years of writing this blog soon-not sure if you were around then, but life for me was very different in 2003. I was sitting here this morning in my chilly study with the Christmas music on and I remembered a darker, colder November. I remember swirls of snow on the windowsill and fireplaces roaring in the living room and bedroom. I remember white floorboards and pastel couches. I remember watching TV until 3 am and wondering how I was going to get through it all. I remember that November three years ago very clearly. I checked my calendar this morning to see what date it happened and I saw it-this coming Sunday is the 3 year anniversary of the day I lost my job from Company X. Maybe it's sour grapes, maybe it's hindsight, maybe it's bitterness, but my life is wildly different now and in many, many ways much better-financially I'm better off, my work-while difficult-is something I enjoy more, I have a lovely dog and a house that I love, and that's not even mentioning the boy...

I would still take away the memories of that November, if I could.

But things don't work like that, and so I remember that cold and bleak November and thank god it all turned out the way it has.

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-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 10:51 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 942 words, total size 5 kb.

1 Note to self: start going to Starbuck's.

Posted by: ~Easy at November 16, 2006 12:29 PM (FKBK3)

2 I'm certain it's a special faux pas to tell a story in the comments on someone's blog (gitcher own blog), but...I used to teach college courses for active duty military personnel. To make the rank of SGT, they had to have college credit. The SGT school was 30 days long, the students mostly men who hadn't seen their families in that time. One hot summer day, in the third hour of lecturing, half the class was dozing off. I was wearing a light silk dress and acidentally stepped in front of a fan. My dress flew up over my head, exposing not just my unders, but my CAMOUFLAGE THONG. Once the hooting and hollering died down, I gathered my dignity (once it was clear that the floor was not going to open up and swallow me, as hoped) and said, "Okay. That's as far as I'm prepared to go to keep you people awake. You're on your own." Then we took a short break. There was no more sleeping in my class...

Posted by: gennimcmahon at November 16, 2006 02:20 PM (QqF9v)

3 Gratitude - and the awareness of the need for it - is one of the hallmarks of growing up, I think. Will you ever be able to drink gingerbread latte again without remembering the skirt episode? I think not.....LOL

Posted by: kenju at November 16, 2006 03:20 PM (L8e9z)

4 H ~ I couldn't read any farther past your Starbucks/Underoos fiasco without commenting. Between reading David Sedaris this morning and you this afternoon, my Underoos are nearly soaked. Thanks for the much needed laugh!

Posted by: nojo at November 16, 2006 05:11 PM (XdFfb)

5 at least the Starbucks customers were grinning and not cringing

Posted by: geeky at November 16, 2006 05:33 PM (ziVl9)

6 H- I don't comment with any regular frequency, but I read everyday. Your posts give me a few minutes away from the hectic, the harriedness, that is my daily routine. Thank you for providing that relief for those of us in need of a little escape. No matter what the topic- a bit of humor, a bit of sadness, a lot of sadness, some introspection, you always seem to convey your thoughts with such grace. -jen

Posted by: Jen-Again at November 16, 2006 06:42 PM (9sYS7)

7 I'm laughing with you!

Posted by: Steff at November 16, 2006 07:45 PM (fIFtd)

8 I'm hoping that next November I can look back at this one and know that it happened for a reason and at least I'm free from the prison of a workplace that I hated going to every day. The way it happened is complete shit, right before Christmas. BUT, I feel like something good will eventually come of it.

Posted by: girl at November 16, 2006 11:21 PM (z6Kyx)

9 I'm sure you made their day! I wonder if any of them will blog it? Glad you are in such a more pleasant place this November. I'm with Angus on the music--but I'm glad you are enjoying it--out of my earshot.

Posted by: sophie at November 17, 2006 04:29 PM (1HOa8)

10 ... it was a re-build that Pixy did the other day.... it caused a lot of punctuation to be hammered with strange characters..... the best way to deal with it is 1. ignore it... or 2. do a "find and replace" in your MT console... ... hope that helps....

Posted by: Eric at November 18, 2006 01:26 AM (NlzwQ)

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