Sometimes I look around and think that I have someone else's life. Before, I had nights full of harsh sodium glare, a cityscape gouging out the humanity in me. Footsteps were loud and the rush of traffic drowned out my every thought.

Then came you.

You taught me that the sodium glare was from low pressure sodium, and to this day you continue to teach me what the lights are. You showed me that the cityscape can contain an endless forbidden hug on a street corner in days when we didn't know how it was our heart beats, we only knew they did. The city noise disappeared and all I heard was the sound of you telling me how you felt about me.

Then came you.

Today my day is built of little parts of you, as integral to the days as breathing and wondering about the nature of the world. I pet the dog and make our coffee. I pick our toothbrushes up and make them little sentries guarding a porcelain world. I smile at a Boston Bruins hockey puck and finger my black pearl a million times a day.

Our world isn't perfect. The lows that I have with you are lower than any swing I've ever swung from, but the highs are so breathtaking that I keep pumping my legs, incredulous with delight. We chose a life with passion and that's what we've got. We live, love, laugh, fight, cry, and rejoice a thousand times stronger than we ever knew life could let us do. I am more alive now in every moment of my life than I have ever been before.

Because then came you.

For the rest of our lives, I can promise you this:

I will always love and support you.

I will try to keep from sticking my freezing cold hands on you.

I will always want to have toys gracing my desk.

I will never be good at remembering the details like when the cars need servicing or what that cable is for.

I will love your homemade macaroni and cheese (speaking of which, can we have it soon?)

I will defend you, without question or advice and without the slightest hesitation.

I will cry at rescue animal commercials.

I will hoard the Corn Nuts.

I will also hoard all the Nacho and Sour Cream McCoy's Specials, and when you ask where they are I will pretend I don't speak English.

I will never tire of writing you love letters.

You are my boy and I am your girl. It's as simple and as complicated as that.

Happy birthday, Angus.

I love you.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 06:50 AM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
Post contains 448 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Beautiful. Happy B-day Angus!

Posted by: Teresa at April 20, 2006 12:53 PM (zf0DB)

2 *tear*

Posted by: Heather at April 20, 2006 01:05 PM (VkF/l)

3 happy birthday angus abs x

Posted by: abs at April 20, 2006 01:19 PM (gEJuu)

4 Happy Birthday Angus!

Posted by: wn at April 20, 2006 01:39 PM (BXsrx)

5 How sweet! Happiest of Happy Birthdays, Angus.

Posted by: Lisa at April 20, 2006 02:07 PM (ELUjU)

6 Awwww. You know, Helen, I started reading your blog when I was wickedly unhappy and alone, wondering if I would ever find what you have found. And, reading about you and Angus gave me hope that broken people can find each other, and heal each other. Your blog has given me so much hope over the past few months. Happy birthday, Angus. Happy life with the man you love, Helen.

Posted by: trouble at April 20, 2006 02:30 PM (j2vfb)

7 That's a wonderful letter to your boy. You both are so lucky to have found each other and to have been able to hold on to that love. Happy birthday Angus!

Posted by: Ice Queen at April 20, 2006 02:43 PM (iubre)

8 A happy birthday to Angus (please forgive me if I ever accidently call him Agnes, as that is what Gordon and I call his flatmate), and to you Helen, I must ask... Regular or BQ? I really hope you know what that's from, otherwise I just look silly...

Posted by: amy t. at April 20, 2006 02:44 PM (zPssd)

9 I started reading your blog a couple of motnhs ago, been going through a bit of a rough time but your writing has inspired me that it is possible for true love to work out well no matter what barriers are put in front of it.. thanks for writing.. happy birthday Angus!!

Posted by: Chris at April 20, 2006 03:39 PM (GrNp+)

10 Happy Birthday, Angus!! Such a beautiful entry.

Posted by: Lisa at April 20, 2006 03:46 PM (Fcr96)

11 Happy Birthday! Here's to a wonderful year!

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 20, 2006 04:22 PM (jOkK0)

12 Happy Birthday to Angus... what a beautiful post.

Posted by: sue at April 20, 2006 04:34 PM (WbfZD)

13 Wow, what a lucky and fortunate man. Or, are you the lucky one?

Posted by: Broken at April 20, 2006 06:19 PM (wypb3)

14 I wish I could express half the thoughts and feelings for my husband like you just did for Angus. Angus, I wish you a very happy birthday! Enjoy the best present you could ever esk for: helen

Posted by: Lindsay at April 20, 2006 08:07 PM (mHNC3)

15 Happy Birthday!!

Posted by: statia at April 20, 2006 09:43 PM (NsnoE)

16 Happy Birthday Angus!

Posted by: Madame Chiang at April 21, 2006 10:07 AM (68x1I)

17 That was so nice.. made me a little teary. Happy Birthday Angus!

Posted by: SaraJane at April 21, 2006 12:42 PM (t5Xsa)

18 Happy Birthing Day, Angus! xoxox

Posted by: Margi at April 21, 2006 04:16 PM (BRtaN)

19 Holy Shizzel! that is sweet. happy bithday lucky man.

Posted by: J.m at April 22, 2006 07:53 AM (kvDkc)

20 I've tried twice now to comment, I hope this one sticks...those of us who have been in bad or difficult relationships really know when we've found a good one. Describing yours as both simple and complicated is a hint of how many levels there are between you two, and how much love there is. You both are so lucky. A wonderful tribute! Happy Birthday

Posted by: Donna at April 22, 2006 07:29 PM (Aanzg)

21 Happy Birthday, Angus. And may the two of you celebrate many, many more of them. Together.

Posted by: Jennifer at April 23, 2006 09:41 PM (y4DOI)

22 Sorry to be late getting here, but I have been out of town. Please tell Angus that he is wished the best birthday ever!

Posted by: kenjukenju at April 25, 2006 04:57 AM (2+7OT)

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