I'm sure you wonder just what the hell I do with my day, much like you wonder about the meaning of life and what marshmallow cream is REALLY made of.

So...wanna know how the life of a mother of twins runs?

OK.

6:30-7 am - Wake up to sound of birds singing, the sun shining, and the milk man making his morning rounds. Oh, also there's at least one baby crying. If Nora's involved, then make that one baby crying and one baby screaming a blue streak. Struggle into clothes I left in a heap by the bed in a haze the night brefore (although I do have a system whereby I chuck a clean pair of knickers on the floor each night. This means that although my clothes may have spit up on them from the day before, at least my beaver is in new happy territory.)

7 - Pee and brush teeth

7:02 - Make way downstairs. Throw Gorby out to the back garden to take care of his own goddamn needs. Pop bottles in microwave. Grind coffee beans and boil water. Set up bibs, burping cloths, and bottles on couch.

7:05 - Go upstairs to babies. Talk soothingly. Turn on the Rainforest Bouncer, as they watch the lights while I change them. Administer Infacol. Change diapers (usually to sounds of screaming, as they both hate having their diapers changed). Talk to Nora in happy tones, to encourage happy behavior. Fail miserably.

7:08 - Carry babies downstairs. Hand one off to Angus, who has been getting himself up and teeth brushed. I feed one, he feeds one.

The rest of the day isn't as exact, but it goes more or less like this:

8:00 - Feeding and burping done. Nora usually goes right back to sleep, whereas Nick usually is awake after the first feed.

8 - 10:00 - Interact with Nick and make breakfast.

10:00 - 10:30 - One of us walks that ridiculous animal known as Gorby. If Angus walks him, I take a shower. Change out of spit-uppy cloths. Load washing machine with dirty clothes.

10:30 - Remind myself to feed cat.

10:30 - 11:00 - Laundry. Fold previous day's laundry draped on rack in the living room (we are dryer-less. Also? Winter. So clothes dried inside.) Start new load with every piece of dirty laundry I can find.

11:00 - Feeding time. Warm bottles. I know some people frown on this and some are ok with it, but we discussed it with the midwives and our GP, and they have said that keeping a supply of bottles in the fridge is ok, as long as it's never more than 24 hours. It never is. So the bottom shelf in our fridge usually looks something like this:

There's a bottle of something in there for everyone. Keeping a daily supply of bottles isn't for everyone, but it works for us and both babies are still alive, so something must be working ok.

Remove bottles from microwave and shake vigorously. Get burp cloths and bibs assembled.

11 - Change babies. Administer Infacol. Feed babies. I usually feed both of them at the same time myself, as Angus is working. I like doing it, and he's not the one on maternity leave. This is my first shot at watching about 30 minutes of TV, as I have it on while feeding them. This is how life is. Life is 30 minutes of TV all strung together.

12 - Finish feeding babies. Try to put them down. Enjoy various degrees of success.

12:10 - If Angus is home, make lunch. If home alone, skip lunch. Load washing machine with next load of laundry. Try to blog and/or read email. Usually fail on both counts.

12:30 - Load dishwasher with lunch dishes.

12:34 - Wish I hadn't cut my hair.

12:35 - Hang up laundry on drying rack.

12:44 - Cat reminds me she wants some food, please.

12:45 - Make bottles. We have a bottle drying rack which I love. Actually, we have 3 of them. What can I say, we have twins who use a lot of bottles.

We were in the sterilization of bottles phase in the beginning, in that we boiled the bottles before use. We've long since given up on that, and they get run through the dishwasher using specially designed bottle baskets that we bought. Some frown on this practice, but again the midwife and the doctor were fine with it, and our kids? Still alive. Clearly the dishwasher is ok.

12:58 - Wish I'd cut more of my hair off.

1:00 - Put laundry away. Clean.

2:00 - Clean.

2:25 - Must feed cat.

2:30 - Make us a cup of tea. Caffeine shot badly needed. We run on about 5 hours a night of sleep, we'll take caffeine any way we can get it. Mainlining the stuff has indeed occurred to me.

3:00 - Change babies. Feeding time at the zoo again. Warm bottles, administer Infacol, get bibs, yadda yadda yadda.

3:30 - Try to encourage play time, using Rainforest Bouncer, Aquarium Swing, playgym, or a yellow teething giraffe from Auntie Statia that they both adore. Try to stop playtime before hitting overstimulization. Usually fail spectacularly. At the end of this playtime Nora usually commences the scream-a-thon.

4:00 - Try to console Nora. Fail. Put Nora to bed.

4:25 - Clean. Unload dishwasher. Dishwasher and washing machine are unloaded as soon as they finish. If I fall behind, I'll never catch up again. It's like The Running Man, only without the guns.

4:28 - Fuck. Forgot cat again.

4:40 - Try to console Nora.

4:45 - Clean. OK, it's not like we live in a fucking pigsty or anything, but there is ALWAYS something needing cleaning. Is the living room largely tidy? Yes ("largely" being the key word there). Is the bathroom clean? Yes. Is there toothpaste on the mirror? Most likely, but it hasn't killed anyone yet. Or maybe it has. I haven't tidied the loft yet, perhaps there's something up there I should know about, perhaps Crest really IS a killer.

5:15 - Try to console Nora. Nora scoffs my consolation techniques. She demands my A game.

5:30 - Clean/console Nora/have The Simpsons running in the background/try to read email. Potentially even getting a reply or two off.

5:58 - Try to stop Maggie from marching on the neighbor's homes in anger. Feed cat. Finally. She promises to destroy an item of my clothing in response.

6:00 - Go upstairs to console Nora. Discover Nora has worked herself out of her swaddle and diaper. Change diaper, Nora, and bedding. Try to soothe Nora, give up, load washing machine with more dirty laundry and open bottle of wine. Between Nora's colicky fits and Nick's possetting, we go through a lot of laundry.

6:30 - Try to console Nora.

6:45 - Start fire in fireplace. Convince self that a fire will make it all better.

7:00 - Change babies. Feed babies. Nick is usually awake after this feeding, while his little sister goes back upstairs to continue off the screaming. I've started bringing a spare car seat into the kitchen with me so he can keep me company while I cook. Nick's definition of helping is to look around and keep his mouth in a permanent "O" position. He's damn cute. I'm not biased or anything.

7:15 - Try to console Nora. Switch on White Noise CD.

7:20 - Remember I'd been meaning to bathe Gorby. Figure he can wait until tomorrow. Get broom to chase buzzards away from him.

8:00 - Enjoy silence of Nora sleeping.

8:05 - Nora has awoken, remembers she was supposed to be angry, and is screaming again.

8:10 - More wine.

8:12 - Wish I hadn't have cut my hair.

8:30 - Dinner is served. Nick getting dozy.

9:00 - Load dishes into dishwasher.

9:30 - Try to console Nora.

9:45 - Put Nick down to sleep. Pat self on back for how calm Nick is. Promise Nick he can have his choice of universities as a reward.

10:00 - Another glass of wine? Don't mind if I do.

10:02- Maybe shorter hair would be better.

10:15 - Every other day the babies get a bath. Not the most peaceful of times. Cue screaming on levels that Edvard Munch would be impressed by. Regardless of bath/no bath the babies get a change of clothing - again, in Nora's case.

11:00 - Finish feeding. Burping time.

11:30 - Babies go to bed. They usually go to sleep immediately (apart from last night when Nick decided to get in on Nora's screaming action and he cried All. Night. Long.)

11:40 - Walk dog. Put screen over fireplace. Brush teeth. Put new pair of knickers on the floor (preparation, people!).

Midnight - Collapse into bed.

Midnight - 6 am - 50% of the time the babies sleep through the night. The other 50% one of them wakes up. We have learned through many, many nights of experience that if one of them wakes up, they're not actually hungry. Try to feed them and they're simply not interested. So if a baby wakes up, they get moved to the travel cot so as not to wake the other twin up (we use a Boppy as a crib seperator during the day, as if one kicks the other one then both are awake. One can scream all it wants, it won't wake the other, but if they boot each other they both wake up. At night, though, they like to sleep next to each other, so the Boppy comes down. Who knew a pregnancy pillow would be so damn helpful?)

That's the schedule. Lather, rinse, repeat. That's it in a nutshell. So if you wonder why I'm not blogging daily (although I do try to upload a photo daily. I often fail at that, too.), why I'm late at replying to emails right now (if I can reply to them at all, which I'm not. I am really sorry about that, too, but I really don't get any spare time these days), or what the hell I'm talking about by being bogged down with housework and screaming...well, you know why.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 12:51 PM | Comments (29) | Add Comment
Post contains 1721 words, total size 10 kb.

1 Your schedule impresses the hell out of me! I can't believe you are handling that all by yourself (and by that I mean, largely without the many hands of friends and family around). You are a rockstar mama.

Posted by: Kimberly at November 28, 2007 01:28 PM (v57BG)

2 Goodness. No wonder you're tired. Dryerless? If I was in your shoes I'd feel I needed two washers AND two dryers just to keep up. I don't know how you do it, honestly. I for one certainly don't expect daily posts, or email replies for that matter. If I drop by more often than I should it's because I can't help but come back and see what others have had to say in comments. I come back to look at the pictures in past entries. I read your blog like a favorite book. I hope that's not wrong. Don't worry what other people expect, think, speculate, or gossip about - you and A are doing a much better job of parenting twins than I think (am sure) we would have managed, and without any outside help! You're amazing. And like yesterday's photo, there will be many moments where the rewards remind you why it's all worth it. The smiles and interaction will come and you'll fall in love all over again at each new stage. Those moments sure help when you're sure you're ready to lose your mind. Hang in there!

Posted by: Lisa at November 28, 2007 02:10 PM (EcHBm)

3 Damn, woman! You are a machine! And there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with making up a day's worth of bottles at a time. Our situation was a bit different, but we had to supplement S's breast milk with preemie formula at 1 tsp/5 oz and so we had a row of bottles all mixed with the formula and ready to be decanted - and sometimes they were even in there MORE THAN 24 HOURS!!! We STILL use the bottle basket, too - sippy cup valves go in the top, lids in the bottom, straws (we mostly use straw cups around here) on the side.

Posted by: Sarah at November 28, 2007 02:12 PM (I5n47)

4 DAMN! You my dear... are the woman! I respect and admire you so much! P.S. The babes continue to get more adorable and I love the outtakes from the photo session!

Posted by: Tracey at November 28, 2007 02:19 PM (jgdKP)

5 You are clearly getting the hang of this parenting/motherhood thing. I dealt with a colicky baby too - it is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. I do hope that you & Nora figure out what it is that makes her unhappy. For us it was a switch to soy formula, for a friend it was a switch in clothing - these babies really should come with an owners manual.

Posted by: cursingmama at November 28, 2007 02:22 PM (PoQfr)

6 Ah, I remember it too well. And I promise is does get better. I PROMISE! We make a pitcher of formula (still do) everyday and just pour into the bottles come feeding time. And we put all bottles in the dishwasher! Are there crazy people out there that don't do that? Ah, those are the women with just 1 baby. I see. 8-) Mine started sleeping through around 3.5 months. And that was about 11pm-7am ... Now they go down at 7pm and wake at 7am. You will get there. You will all figure it out together. right now, sounds like you have the twin schedule down perfectly. Although I would see if maybe you can start with the wine just a little earlier in the day. 8-) Hang in there!

Posted by: Erica at November 28, 2007 02:43 PM (D6tE/)

7 Every other day the babies get a bath. Not the most peaceful of times. I remember bath time quite well. My children screamed like I was killing them. Ugh. I did get quite good at it, though. I could bathe and swaddle a baby in 90 seconds flat, which reduced the screaming time. As to the rest of your day, it's more than a little familiar. The one thing different I did was the 5-10 minutes of face time each day. Since most babies sleep on their backs to reduce the possibility of SIDS, the back of their neck muscles don't get enough exercise. Ergo, face time down on a blankie on the floor, where you get to watch the children scream while they lift their heads off the floor. Okay, my daughter didn't scream. She'd just settle in for a nap. My son, on the other hand, hated face time even more than bath time. His neck got a great workout. For the record, bath time will become fun around 3-4 months, especially, when you can move them to a sitting up position in a real tub. Then they start playing. Also, you're no longer having to hold their little heads still while washing, which proved quite a challenge at times. Take care. You're doing a tremendous job, which I don't find surprising at all.

Posted by: physics geek at November 28, 2007 03:07 PM (MT22W)

8 You are doing so well! My mother feels your pain of dealing with colic (me) and a puke-child (my sister)...and she had three years between them and she and my father had lots of help. Neither are fun, but as the other commenters have been saying, it won't last forever. Soon they'll be smiling and laughing and so much fun as well as cute and loveable. You are amazing.

Posted by: Laura at November 28, 2007 04:16 PM (FFBkP)

9 I have twins also, and wish I had know this tip a few months ago when we were still swaddling them. http://goddessinprogress.blogspot.com/2007/11/uber-swaddle.html Maybe it will help Nora, who sounds very strong!

Posted by: krissy at November 28, 2007 04:22 PM (ES1ip)

10 My nephews hated their baths too. At least, they hated it on that sponge thinger. They liked the actual tub-sitting baths. They might still but they're teenagers now so I think attempting to bathe them would creep everyone out (especially me) on several levels. Your routine is a good one. Routines are good with new babies. (You like how I'm the pinnacle of baby assvice even though I've never had one and have solemnly sworn myself to a barren ute?) Don't forget to laugh. Sometimes, that's all you can do. I know you're worried about screwing them up or breaking them because everyone worries about that. But babies are far heartier creatures than we give them credit for. And to spite the blue streak screaming, they're pretty forgiving too. I send you lots of love!!

Posted by: Ms. Pants at November 28, 2007 04:42 PM (+p4Zf)

11 Great job on getting them on a good schedule - eventually it will pay off! My boys hated their baths too...but i only had to do one at a time...of course its crazy but you are really doing wonderful and those babies are absolutely beautiful their skin is so silky soft...i think i smell them (not their diapers) every time I read your page!!

Posted by: Steff at November 28, 2007 05:05 PM (xjmcr)

12 you are seriously awesome. It bears repeating: seriously awesome. I couldn't do nearly as well!

Posted by: caltechgirl at November 28, 2007 05:18 PM (IfXtw)

13 You're doing great. Don't worry about emails. Don't worry about blogging except for venting/celebrating as you've been doing here for your release. You're doing awesomeness!

Posted by: The other Amber at November 28, 2007 05:24 PM (zQE5D)

14 Oh and sorry to double comment but I LOVE the various bottles in the fridge. And the wine glasses on the counter. Whatever it takes. Hells yeah.

Posted by: The other Amber at November 28, 2007 05:33 PM (zQE5D)

15 I'm impressed that you manage to brush your teeth twice in a day. I'm lucky if I get that far at all.

Posted by: Tinker at November 28, 2007 06:04 PM (HGoEM)

16 Oh, and have you tried a Tummy Tub for the baths? My two will nearly nod off while in there.

Posted by: Tinker at November 28, 2007 06:05 PM (HGoEM)

17 We were all about the bottles in the fridge in the beginning, and we're still about the bottles in the dishwasher now. And your schedule is pretty much mirrored what ours was too for a long time, the Mini had pretty much the same feeding schedule and still kind of loosely does. Even though it's so predictable and boring, you need that in order to not go batshit.

Posted by: statia at November 28, 2007 06:07 PM (lHsKN)

18 Also? Any day that you get through and everyone's still alive in the end, is a good day.

Posted by: statia at November 28, 2007 06:08 PM (lHsKN)

19 I love the beer and the milk in the fridge...you got your priorities exactly right!

Posted by: Becks at November 28, 2007 07:06 PM (8oiaV)

20 What! Is that ALL you do all day? Why are you loading that shotgun? (sound of round racked into chamber) Hey! Careful where you point that thing! I was just joking, alright? Watch where you stick that barrel, it's COLD! Please, put it down! HELP(!! I WAS ONLY KIDDING, DAMMIT!! PLEASE DON'T HURT MEEEE!!!! NOOOOOO!!! (multiple booms and click-clicks, soon followed by sound of Helen beating Diamond Dave's lifeless corpse with butt of shotgun, screaming obscenities such as Redrum, Redrum! Say hello to my little friend! Say what! Say what again, I dare you, I double dare you, motherf****r! Get away from her, you BITCH! I'll turn you from a rooster to a hen with one shot! Put the f***ing lotion in the basket!) Excuse me, just rambling again. Thought you could use a smile.

Posted by: diamond dave at November 28, 2007 09:59 PM (dWCLw)

21 Sounds like you have a pretty good schedule going...love how you ensure that you have clean undies My youngest child is 22 yrs. old, my oldest 31. From the youngest to the oldest I had pre-made bottles in the fridge. I only made enough for a 24 hr. supply but being able to pull them out of the fridge, heat and feed was great. My granddaughters were the make the bottle when you need it baby's. Total pain in the ass. So I cheat when Grace is here...I make enough bottles for the hours I'll be watching her and that's the way we roll. *said with a self satisfied snap of the head* Sterilizing bottles. The doctors instructions for all 4 of my children were to sterilize complete bottle (cap, collar, nipple and bottle). We were also told to heat water to boiling to make the formula. My granddaughters...sterilization is not necessary and bottles can be made as needed using tap water. Dump powdered formula, give bottle good shaking, serve. *shrug* Times change. Who's right? Who knows? From what I can see babies thrive no matter who you do things as long as you use basic common sense and cleanliness. You're little ones are doing great (Nora's colic aside) and I tip my hat to you for a job well done.

Posted by: Poppy at November 28, 2007 11:12 PM (ep+JJ)

22 Ignore those spelling/word usage errors up there...I'm getting old

Posted by: Poppy at November 28, 2007 11:14 PM (ep+JJ)

23 bastard computer ate my comment. in brief: - i think you should cut yourself some slack and do less cleaning. Sit down occasionally and have a cup of tea. And why get dressed twice? Just do the first couple of hours in your pjs maybe? - it will get better. I remember tertia's blog when adam and kate were tiny and she was insane w tiredness. I think 12 weeks was a turnign point for her.

Posted by: thalia at November 28, 2007 11:31 PM (2FeHx)

24 God can i just say that i hate you, my 7.5 week old is still up every 2 hours to eat,, am so haggard.

Posted by: Christina at November 29, 2007 01:16 AM (cu+y1)

25 You are superwoman. 'nuff said.

Posted by: Veronica at November 29, 2007 09:20 AM (JLNey)

26 Sounds like a pretty normal schedule to me!

Posted by: ~Easy at November 29, 2007 12:19 PM (WdRDV)

27 Phew. I have 4.5 month old twins and I'M tired after reading that!! I have gone back to work now but spent the day at home on Tuesday and got a taste of that again. I was so much busier then than I am at work. There is just ALWAYS something to do at home...especially when you are pulling double duty. BTW...we made a day's worth of formula every night...I can't imagine not being able to do that. We do the bottle baskets in the dishwasher, too. We did find an awesome dishwaser that has a steam sterilzer function but, if you read my blog, you'll see that's not going to happen unless we find one somewhere else. I'm glad to have found another twin mommy blog!!

Posted by: Kirsten at November 29, 2007 04:44 PM (+NX83)

28 I understand. Completely.

Posted by: sue at November 29, 2007 07:07 PM (WbfZD)

29 Ah yes, our day sounds much the same. And our fridge looks much the same. I put a note on the fridge that says: "don't forget: feed the cat!". ;-)

Posted by: Carol at December 02, 2007 03:00 AM (19QEy)

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