Today we trooped to the hospital for our 28 week scan (even though I'm 29 weeks tomorrow. Somehow, we got off track by a week. I blame society.) and to meet our consultant and the one who will deliver the twins, the one we call Dr. Charisma, the IVF doctor who, peering at me above the sheet of my be-draped pink taco declared that we should put back two embryos based on my history and the overwhelmingly averageness that were the two embryos, that twins in this situation were extremely unlikely. I have some choice words for Dr. Charisma. Don't get me wrong-he's an excellent doctor and I have no doubts about his qualifications, he's just not the kind of guy you'd go rushing up to for a hug. At all. Ever.

Anyway, we're late to the appointment as we always are, and by the time we get in to the hospital the antenatal room is one giant swelling of progesterone. There are so many heavily pregnant women in there that I wonder if Angus is going to get knocked up. We wait for ages-this never bodes well, Angus is many things but he is not a Patient Waitee-and then we head in for the scan.

We spent the entire morning at the hospital.

Angus is pretty pleased about that.

So the Lemonheads-they're doing just fine. These days the sonographer doesn't have to do much searching for the babies, they're large enough that they show up right away. Both babies are measuring over 1200 grams, which is just over 2.5 pounds. So they're small. Still within normal limits, but small.

First up-Twin 1. Twin 1 is head down and raring to go. Twin 1 is the little hooligan that kicks the shit out of me on a regular basis. I had understood that Twin 1 was the little girl, but I got that one wrong (not surprisingly, as neither of us can understand any ultrasound we ever see.) Twin 1 is on my left hand side, and it's the boy. The sonographer said that without a doubt Twin 1 is a boy, and even pointed out his man bits. Neither Angus nor I had any idea whatsoever what we were looking at, so either our son is going to be under-endowed or we're just hopeless at all this (I know without a doubt that we're hopeless at this, so I'll go with that one.) He's a big boy, though, with a large head and very, very long legs. All the better to kick me with, I guess.

Here he is-it's a profile shot of his head, with a little elbow in the air next to his noggin.

The sonographer then checked out Twin 2, who is the quieter baby, the CVS baby, and apparently is the little girl (the sonographer is very sure about that, too, and showed us the baby's lady bits as well. We didn't see anything. You might now be seeing a pattern here when it comes to Angus, me, and ultrasounds). The technician looked at me and asked me if I was having trouble breathing. I confirmed that why yes, I do spend my time breathing like a bulldog and debating a possible professional career in telephonic heavy breathing pranks. Truthfully, the breathing is getting so bad the only way I can breathe is either standing up or at a small incline-sitting for any period of time means I can't draw my breath, and I try to avoid the phone as I get too breathless and wind up sounding like my great-grandpa, who had Black Lung. The reason? The little girl, in breech position, has her head and upper torso nestled across both of my lungs, pressing hard. Her bum is squashing the ureter from my right kidney and her legs are extended, bouncing on the bottom of my cavernous uterus.

Oh yeah. She's going to be a handful.

Here's apparently a picture of her. She's pretty camera shy (and always has been) and like her parents prefers likes to sleep on her stomach. The sonographer printed these out and handed them to us proudly. Apparently, these are pictures of her face, which we were dutifully grateful about.

We don't see anything that resembles anything in the pictures.

It looks like I'll be giving birth to a Rorschach Test.

If you can see it, let me know.

She also has very long legs, although she's a lot smaller than her brother.

The rest of the visit went ok-Dr. Charisma was out so we met with his stand-in, who discussed the position the babies are in. Right now, he said, a vaginal birth is still possible as the first baby is head down, which would mean they could turn the other baby in utero and deliver her. This, to me, sounds awfully squicky and all kinds of levels of painful. True, I'm planning on being on every possible drug known to man when I go into labor, but it doesn't mean I want hands stuffed in me pulling out the plastic bags of gizzard, neck and kidneys. We'll cross that bridge when we get there-while I like the recovery time of a vaginal birth better than a C-section, I'd also like to not imagine my hooch getting stretched to the size of a Hungry Man TV dinner.

He also discussed due dates with us and even said that if the babies are ok, it's not uncommon to take the pregnancy to 39 weeks. Sitting there, I had to fight with every ounce of willpower I had not to burst into tears and shout "Not in THIS cargo hold, buddy!" Dr. Charisma says we'll deliver latest 37 weeks. I'm going with that one. While it's much, much better than the threat of 32 weeks we face with my infections, the idea of not being able to breathe like this for another 10 weeks is something I'd rather not think about without a stiff drink in my hand. Not to mention that twins have a higher risk of stillbirth after week 37 as they just completely run out of room in there. Also not tempting. I hear all the time "The longer you keep them in, the healthier they'll be," which is true and I know it, but at the same time when you're pissing razorblades and can't draw enough air, you start to think: 36 weeks works. Maybe we can't even try for 35 weeks.

Kidney infection/UTI are still under monitoring, and I'm on antibiotics for another 12 days. At this point you'll be able to slice open my veins and pour my blood on the moldy bread in order to clear it up. Only that's icky. On so many levels.

We go back in 3 weeks for another scan, and then we begin the hardcore monitoring for the rest of the pregnancy.

In the meantime, Melissa's still here, Jeff arrives tomorrow (with a newfound sense of stress as it appears the Swunt may have gotten to him, so it's a bit touch and go right now) and not a fucking thing has been done on the nursery.

We're so organized.

-H.

PS-many huge thanks to the Physics Geek, who gave the babies and I this book and this DVD. Both are hugely appreciated, as the book will help me figure out a pattern for them, and the DVD, well...I'm a well-known sucker for Christmas. Thank you, Geek. I love them both.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 04:07 PM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
Post contains 1256 words, total size 7 kb.

1 Aaaawwww... the babies are gorgeous! No, I can't really see them, but got choked up anyway. Of course.

Posted by: pam at August 14, 2007 04:22 PM (l6NIn)

2 One of each! Yay! I must have missed that earlier. That's really cool. Keeping my fingers crossed over hear! Good luck with the breathing, although I hear it is over-rated.

Posted by: RP at August 14, 2007 04:24 PM (op1yW)

3 Hearing about all this twin stuff makes me wonder what my mom must have thought when she was carrying us. I was smaller than my brother by 1 ounce at birth, and am now smaller than my brother by about 150lbs. I think the girl being the smaller one is a good thing Oh, and those ultrasounds look like Rorshach Tests to me too!

Posted by: geeky at August 14, 2007 04:40 PM (ziVl9)

4 How cool is that ,that you can now start the baby albums before they're even born?

Posted by: Hannah at August 14, 2007 05:16 PM (lUH62)

5 Your son, I can totally see him in the picture! Starting at the upper right (moving counter clockwise) follow the curve of his forehead around to the bridge of his nose and around to his upper lip. Below the nose is the curve of his closed left eye! You're looking down at him from above and to the left! He's SO beautiful! Your daughter, is totally a rorschach test! LOL! Wish I could see her in the picture! We all know she'll look like you and be beautiful as well!

Posted by: Wicked at August 14, 2007 05:31 PM (58iIM)

6 Beautiful babies! You aren't alone in not being able to make out the girl/boy bits. I absolutely couldn't tell when the ultrasound tech pointed them out to us. Could have been a dog for all we knew.

Posted by: Dotty at August 14, 2007 05:40 PM (KJE2B)

7 well, they are adorable Rorshach tests, anyway. Good luck getting the nursery started and hugs for Melissa and Jeff!

Posted by: caltechgirl at August 14, 2007 06:23 PM (/vgMZ)

8 Ultrasound tech here to decipher! The girl is facing towards the viewer- not profile like the boy. The placenta is the solid grey covering the entire top 1/3 of the pic. Below the grey is a dark area in the center that looks kind of like a table- the right leg of the table is her right eye. Directly below that is a bright spot that looks like a 3- that is her nose (actually her nostrils). Directly to the left of the 3 is a slightly darker grey circle with an even darker circle inside- that is her mouth- perfect little rosebud lips! Above the 3 and below the 3 are her cheeks- very kissable already... Her left eye is harder to see as it fades into the haze that is the dark area in the lower right side of the pic.The top of her head is on the right side of the pic about halfway down- her arm is over her forehead in this shot. Very cute babes. I am so happy for you and your family!

Posted by: Jen-Again at August 14, 2007 06:34 PM (9sYS7)

9 Honestly, I never really understood the whole "recovery time" deal in C-sections. I felt like crap for about 2 days, sore for about a week, and steadily fine until 2 weeks - then all better. And this was after having worst pregnancy ever - 100 pound weight gain over 6 months, serious edema everywhere, stage 4 pre-enclampsia. I ahem, enjoyed relations in the first two weeks without a problem. The scar area feels weird for about six weeks but thats because the uterus is still shrinking, so maybe that area feels weird anyway. If you'd prefer a C, dont be afraid of the "recovery time" stuff. If your good at bouncing back from pain this is no exception. I, too, would have issues with people's hand in my crotch all the livelong day, and turning, etc. I didnt have to make a choice but Im glad I had a C. I had one at 21 and one at 36 and neither was bad.

Posted by: That Girl at August 14, 2007 06:39 PM (s5Uyz)

10 I also meant to say that it's a great joke that one of the few times when you really REALLY need a drink youre not allowed to have one and that if a hospital can have a McDonalds in it it should have a bar also. Cause, c'mon, Hospitals! Most stressful places Evah!

Posted by: That Girl at August 14, 2007 06:42 PM (s5Uyz)

11 That Girl, my mom always tells the story that when I was born (back in the old days) it was standard practice in the hospital to give mom a beer after delivery. Well, it was Wisconsin after all.

Posted by: Jennifer at August 14, 2007 07:09 PM (pNoCr)

12 Oh my God! Jen-Again, when you describe it like that, I DO actually see it! I see it! I owe you HUGE! That's fantastic! Um...does that mean in the other pic she has her mouth open? And looking a bit like Jack Skellington?

Posted by: Helen at August 14, 2007 07:33 PM (Qkigb)

13 While not an ultrasound tech, I did become somewhat familiar with the fuzzy B&W images that supposedly were my children, and not the feeds from some old NASA footage. Boys can be tough to spot sometimes, as the little sack tends to not be so little in utero. However, there's one shot that will almost guarantee that you're having a man-child: when you catch the head of the weenie sticking out beyond the nutsack, much like a turtle sticking its head out of its shell. In fact, our tech called it the Turtle Shot. The girl we didn't find out until the doctor said "it's a ....". The surprise was pretty awesome for #2. Your welcome on the gifts. If I can't throw you a baby shower in person, I can at least toss some loot your way for a distance celebration. I'm looking forward to seeing actual color photos of Helen Jr. and Angus Jr.

Posted by: physics geek at August 14, 2007 08:01 PM (MT22W)

14 That Girl, it sounds like you had a MIRCULOUS c-section recovery. I earned myself six hours in the recovery room including post-partum hemorrhage, and EKG, and lots of "why in the hell is her heart racing and her O2 saturation in the toilet?" Followed by a blood transfusion (about 8 hours post-delivery), CT scan to check for internal bleeding (28 hours post-delivery), a paralytic ileus (starting about 26 hours post-delivery), an x-ray for which I was required to stand for a relatively long period (38ish hours post-delivery), and no solid food until about 48 hours post-delivery. I earned an extra day in the hospital (5 instead of the usual 4) because I couldn't get myself out of bed yet and my incision was still oozing quite a bit. Which is to say, Helen, I think the recovery time of vaginal delivery vs. c-section is a perfectly valid thing to be thinking about. Also, "the longer they're in the better" is all well and good until, as you have pointed out, there's no more room in there. I think 36 weeks sounds lovely.

Posted by: Sarah at August 14, 2007 08:23 PM (EzvAx)

15 My only twins experience is my mom's, but this is what happened. Twin 1 was head down and ready to go, like yours. He was delivered naturally. Twin 2 was transverse (lying across the top, side to side.) Twin 2's cord came out. Bad news! Knowing he had only seconds, the doctor reached in and pulled Twin 2 out, breaking his little arm in the process. Twin 2 came out not breathing. There were a few tense moments, whereupon my father began praying in a very loud voice, the baby cried, and all was well. They both developed jaundice and stayed in the hospital about 8 days. Incidentally, Twin 1 weighed 6 lb 11 oz and Twin 2 weighed 7 lb 2 oz. My poor mother!

Posted by: Julie at August 14, 2007 09:05 PM (XYi/s)

16 I loved my ulstrasound techs because they labled everything for us. I did get better at deciphering them though with the second. And That Girl I hear ya on recovering fast with c-sections. My first was 9lbs8ozs, and I was up on my feet fairly fast, and within a week every one was saying "I can't believe you had a c-section!". With my second, he weighed 8lbs7ozs, and although my incision was a little more tender (only 3 years had passed, and I had a lot of scar tissue), I still was on my feet and back to normal fairly fast. But hey, my body recovers from things pretty easily. And I am still holding out for either a Oct. 2 or 14 birthdate-those are my kids, respectively. Glad to hear all is well with the Lemonheads!I am getting so damn excited!!!

Posted by: Teresa at August 14, 2007 09:26 PM (RPr1f)

17 So nice to have a tech explain, huh? When I had scans (you know, EONS ago) they were so fuzzy I'm amazed you could see anything. The technology has really improved... so amazing. Glad all is well, and if it is any consolation even moms carrying one start the "GET THIS KID OUTTA HERE" chant near the end. My first was premie, but the rest all came at least 3 weeks late and had to be started... ugh. Hugs all around!

Posted by: sue at August 14, 2007 09:33 PM (WbfZD)

18 You know my stance on c-sections. I wouldn't have traded my experience in for the world. Then again, I really have nothing to compare it to. My recovery time was relatively quick. The first few days were the most painful, and getting out of bed was a pain in the, well, abdomen, but it really does subside quickly. The only thing (and I'm going to say that this is the case with a vaginal birth too) is that you're still healing on the inside. But within a week I was feeling pretty good. So I don't think That Girl's recovery was miraculous. Things can go wrong in either scenario. You'll pick which is the right decision for you guys. All of the nurses in the hospital all asked me if I had a birth plan. My standard answer was "to get him here healthy and to get out of this relatively unscathed." They all liked that answer.

Posted by: statia at August 14, 2007 11:19 PM (lHsKN)

19 I'm stuck wondering why it's "prenatal" in the US, but "antenatal" in the UK. On the vaginal delivery tho - those lil' guys are going to be little regardless, so seriously - I wouldn't let the fear of "stretching" be a decision-maker. For some reason, my fear of the episiotomy (sp?) was less than my fear of my entire belly being opened up to pull a baby out. Not having had a c-section, but having recovered from a vaginal birth, I can tell you this - It just plain hurts either way. With a c-section, you have the incision to worry about. With vaginal birth, you potentially have an episiotomy, and everything just kinda aches for awhile. With both, you have your uterus contracting to get back to it's normal position. It's just not fun. It is, however, very worth it. It's good that they think they can turn the girl baby around though. My niece was an odd breech - butt down with her legs spread, and for whatever reason, they didn't even try to turn her. As soon as they determined she hadn't moved, they scheduled the c-section.

Posted by: Tracy at August 15, 2007 02:09 AM (Iuy6d)

20 Mmmm...after three babies, I still cannot look at an ultrasound and tell anything. Honestly, if I had to tell you, I'd say it looks like you have big tumors in your colon. Good thing I wasn't your tech... As for the labor and delivery... I will tell you that we all worry about what we will do. Very rarely is it in one's control and the build up to the delivery, WANTING to control it, makes it worse. I speak from 100% control freak experience. Ulitmately... what will happen will happen and your doctor will call the shots. All you want are healthy babies. How it happens in the end is irrelevant. And I know that is really easy to say not being the one pregnant... really really easy. And... say yes to drugs!! There are no medals given out for drug free and I'm not a bigger person or better Mom for it. I was so stupid... (3rd go r-ound I did LOTS of drugs. Please sir, can I have some more?, was my philosophy.)

Posted by: Bou at August 15, 2007 03:23 AM (2zVEj)

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