I started writing this blog. I remember the day well actually - I was sitting at my desk at Company X, the desk with the view of the atrium, and I didn't have much going on at work. I'd heard of blogs and knew a little bit about them, and in an impulse moment I decided to start one of my own. I opened an account on Blogger, sat there thinking for a minute, and then started writing (from work, which is naughty and something I never do now.)
I don't know how I came up with the name Everyday Stranger, but it just came (little did I know at the time it's also the name of a San Francisco band. I like to think I came first.) I wanted to get across, to the random person who would find my site, that I'm just an everyday person you pass on the street. I'm like any other person out there, someone you may never talk to or meet, but one of many people you rub shoulders with on your commute, at Starbucks, on the airplane. I'm ordinary and anonymous, and like any other stranger I pass in and out of your life and leave no mark behind.
I didn't know where my blog would take me. I think the anonymity of it was what attracted me - I could talk, I could talk about things I shouldn't talk about, and no one would know it was me. I could let things out of myself that would horrify and shock and no one would be there to stare across the table at me with disdain. The quirks, mistakes, foibles, and fuck-ups that I am composed of could have a voice.
I think I was pretty surprised when I found out people were reading. I am still surprised. What surprises me even more is that some people have been around a long time - to name a few, I found a comment here from Loribo that goes back to June 2004. Sarah first popped up in October 2003 when I confessed I knocked the cat off the bed with my knockers. People that I care about have been around a long time, longer than some of my real life friends.
It's important to me that people read here, not because I'm a glory hound, but because it actually makes me feel more human. Human as in "in touch with life". That these random thoughts and punctual nightmares are things others may think, feel, or experience helps me understand that maybe we all have issues, insecurities, and laughs, they're something that can bring people together. I am human (and I need to be loved). I don't always respond to comments but I read them all meticulously and I wonder about your life and your experiences, too.
I think blogging has helped my confidence. Recently I've decided (honestly and truly this time, not like all the other false starts I've had) to try to go about getting published, and I'm adding a second track to that in attempting to try my hand at writing a regular column for something in print (I'll get back to you at how successful that is.) With two babies coming more income is going to be needed, and badly. I'm hoping in some way to augment our income with selling writing, if that's possible. If I'm being foolish and kidding myself and I'll simply meet with the pointy stick end of rejection which will cause me to wear Band-Aids labelled "You Suck. Stop Trying To Play With the Big Kids Now", well, there's always blogads (which I'm putting back on the site this weekend.)
A lot of people who started blogging the same time I did have dropped by the wayside. You burn out, your situation changes, you get discovered...I think for some blogging is something that, when the need is filled, you stop. I feel pretty proud of myself in some small way. I've been writing on this site for four years today, an act of commitment which is now longer than either of my marriages (how embarrassing it is to say that), my time in college, and my relationship with Kim. The only things, in fact, that have lasted longer than this blog are my love for Angus, my time outside of the U.S, my girls Maggie and Mumin and my desire for macaroni and cheese.
So I have a pretty committed relationship with my blog. We're at the "it's ok to fart in front of each other" stage. I no longer complain when it leaves its boxer shorts on the floor every morning. I even give it the remote most of the time.
I'm not quitting, and although I do take a time out every once in a while when my going gets too tough to write it all out at once, I do appreciate and love my little space here. It's not going to change the world. But it does help me.
So four years today.
I think that's something.
I could get all introspective and shit, but then I do that pretty often and you're probably very used to that (to the point where you may often scream "The mirror! She does not have two faces! Now move the fuck on!"). But suffice to say that there's been more living in these past four years of my life than in the entire rest of my life combined. And it's amazing to me to be able to look back and see, in print, the journey that my life has taken. Yes that sounds incredibly cheesy. But it's been one hell of a ride.
And if you'll excuse me now, Mumin is clearly very unwell and we're off to the vet.
-H.
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Best wishes for Mumin.
It sounds cheesy but it's important to me that people read. Not because I'm a glory hound or anything but because it makes me feel more human.
Yes, I definitely hear that. It's a connection in a too-often isolating world. It's only the cynics who think it's all about glory.
Good luck with the paid writing, not that you need me to wish it to you. When I say "good luck," I'm really saying, "Talent's all there already; now, may someone with the keys to the vault only take a few seconds to value it."
Posted by: ilyka at June 15, 2007 07:39 AM (Z0tlR)
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Congratulations! You brighten my days with your writing, so I see no reason why you couldn't get paid for it. I think it's a real talent.
Tell Mumin to hang in there!
Posted by: Marian at June 15, 2007 08:09 AM (B+qrE)
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Ok, I won't go all figuring out my feelings on your blog. Scary enough, though, reading your blog is still important to me. I find myself rooting for you. Congratulations on 4 years!
And I hope Mumin feels better!
Posted by: Hannah at June 15, 2007 10:34 AM (5w+E2)
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Congrats on sticking it out for 4 years, and good luck with writing for profit (I'm sure if anyone can do it, you can).
Poor Mumin; I hope there is nothing seriously wrong.
Posted by: kenju at June 15, 2007 11:11 AM (DBvE5)
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Congratulations. Have been reading this blog everyday for about three and half years now. Its incredible!
Posted by: Priya at June 15, 2007 11:14 AM (jOXWL)
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Please don't stop...You and your truth are a big part of why I live....
Posted by: LarryConley at June 15, 2007 11:27 AM (i+7Rd)
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4 years? That's all?? It seems like longer than that. I guess I fall in to the catgory of long-time readers and bloggers who fell by the wayside after getting outed.
It has been interesting to walk with you on your journey over the last few years. I've said frequently that yours has always been the first blog I read every day, and that "Everyday Stranger" is the bar for quality that I hold other blogs, and my own to. That's still true today.
Good luck with the writing, and everything else in your life. I'm looking forward to hearing about whatever you want to share.
Posted by: ~Easy at June 15, 2007 11:34 AM (X+de8)
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Happy Blogiversary! I've been reading your site for probably 3 years? But I think it took me like a year or more before I left a comment. (I'm such a lurker!) I hope things with Mumin are alright, and good luck with your writing career!
Posted by: Erin at June 15, 2007 11:57 AM (HQy7k)
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4 years! That is something to be proud of! I think this summer will mark 5 years of blogging for me, but when I look at my blog, I don't know what the hell I've been writing about all this time. Your blog has real, heart-felt content which is why I love it. Keep it up, and best of luck with your writing ventures!
Oh, and I hope Mumin is OK too!
Posted by: geeky at June 15, 2007 12:22 PM (ziVl9)
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Hey Helen, congratulations on four years! Reading your blog has got me to thinking repeatedly about the possibly of starting my own blog, but I am too chicken.
Since discovering you from Plain Layne/Rambling Rhodes I make sure to visit every day that I can.
Posted by: amelia at June 15, 2007 12:22 PM (L2+hh)
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Has it really been 4 years? Man, time has flown. Of course, I'll probably be saying the same thing about myself come July when my Blogiversary happens...
Happy Blogiversary!
Posted by: amber at June 15, 2007 12:24 PM (HCbA1)
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Helen - You help me start my day and I greatly appreciate it!
Thank you.
Posted by: ne at June 15, 2007 12:27 PM (t5Xsa)
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Happy Blogiversary!
Yours is the first blog I check each day. I can't remember anymore how I found it, but I was hooked from the start. You don't hold back and write honestly and beautifully about your life.
I hope everything's OK with Mumin. And a hug for you.
Posted by: selzach at June 15, 2007 12:32 PM (51n96)
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Happy anniversary! Can't exactly remember when I started reading. I think late 2004 right after I moved over to the UK and was looking for insight into others expat experiences. Anywho this is the one blog I read without fail everyday so you definitely have a talent for writing. xx
Posted by: Lee at June 15, 2007 12:39 PM (lN4Rc)
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You have come a long way baby from those dark days in Sweden! and it would not be a morning without checking in on you. I go off and on again with Xanga have been for about 4 years as well, I am back on for awhile anyway. Take care
Posted by: Cheryl at June 15, 2007 12:49 PM (msF2q)
Posted by: donna at June 15, 2007 12:51 PM (w5MUl)
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Still here! Not going anywhere!
Like so many others, I begin each day with you - so your trip absences kinda throw me! Thank you for sharing your life and your writing with all of us. The laughter, the angst, the work stresses, the Starbucks, the cats - all of it. Happy Blogiversary from all of us
Posted by: loribo at June 15, 2007 01:42 PM (MY7JG)
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Happy anniversary! I have been lurking for a couple of years. I really enjoy your writing. You make me laugh and cry at the same time. This site is the first place I go every morning. Maybe some day you will share this with the lemonheads.
Jilly
Posted by: Jilly at June 15, 2007 01:43 PM (vy163)
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Happy Anniversary! I don't remember how long I've been reading either, for sure. Must be at least 3 years now, though, maybe a bit more. I wish you all the success in the world at getting paid for writing; I think you write beautifully. Like many others, your blog and a cup of coffee are my some of my first daily necessities.
I hope Mumin is not seriously unwell and will be just fine soon.
Posted by: Lisa at June 15, 2007 02:36 PM (e8V7B)
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I am not ashamed to admit that part of my day would be very empty without your blog.
Happy Anniversary!
And I truly hope Mumin is well. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed.
Posted by: Teresa at June 15, 2007 02:41 PM (xTu8h)
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Congratulations on the blogiversary. I hope Mumin is okay.
I've been a daily reader for -- gosh -- probably 3 years. I rarely comment, because usually someone else has already said it so much better.
Do you still consider yourself an anonymous blogger? Do people you work with know that you blog, and is that a concern? You've written about the fallout from your family's reaction to the blog, but they sound like they would've complained regardless of what you wrote or didn't write. Knowing what you do now, would you have taken greater steps to protect your identity and/or privacy?
Cheers,
lynD
Posted by: lynD at June 15, 2007 03:03 PM (2F9Ak)
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Im a fairly new reader (7 months or so)..... And I find myself oddly attached to you and your blog. You're very real. You're very human. We have things in common to some extent. And I believe that if we were to know each other, I'd love to be your friend in real life.
Happy Anniversary!
Posted by: Terry at June 15, 2007 03:36 PM (h/YdH)
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You have become so much more than an Everyday Stranger. You are real and authentic - a daily read for me.
I've read for a really long time (horrible,horrible lurker that I am) and truly admire and appreciate the honesty in your writing. Really don't think you are going to have any problems getting published!
Posted by: gatorgirl at June 15, 2007 04:04 PM (Ss17x)
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H~ I've said it before and I'll say it again. You are the first thing I do when I get to the office (read your blog that is...not do you..lol) I've been reading your entry's since the beginning. You make me smile and feel happy that there are people out there like you.
Posted by: Tiffani at June 15, 2007 04:56 PM (Up2JA)
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It's important to me, too. I feel you. And I've never stopped being here, for the record.
Posted by: Jennifer at June 15, 2007 05:18 PM (jl9h0)
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Obviously you're not an everyday person I'd pass on the street. I love you too much for that. You mean the world to me.
Posted by: statia at June 15, 2007 08:07 PM (lHsKN)
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Happy Anniversary - like many of the others here the first thing I do every morning is read your latest update with coffee in hand. You add perspective to my life and give me new ways to see the world and for that I thank you.
As for the money thing, Dooce makes her living 100% out of her blog - could you do the same? It might be worth contacting her to discuss (email me if you don't know who I'm talking about). xx
Posted by: Flikka at June 15, 2007 10:25 PM (puvdD)
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Happy anniversary Helen! Your blog is an automatic read for me. I found out about you when the horrible subway bombings occurred. Someone, and I can't remember who, linked to your site since you are an American living over there.
I never comment (bad lurker) but read faithfully.
I hope Mumin is okay.
Posted by: kali at June 16, 2007 12:22 AM (rrNYS)
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Helen,
Yours was the very first blog I discovered and started reading regularly a few years ago. While I've added a few more to my list since then, yours is still the first one I go to when I hop online. Your writing is consistently excellent and I'm so happy for all the good things that have come your way over the years I've been reading. Happy blog anniversary!!
Posted by: Camino at June 16, 2007 12:27 AM (iHvW9)
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Congratulations! Like so many others who've written here, I read your blog every day because for me, it's exactly what a blog should be - genuine, touching, funny and so very insightful. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with so many. How can you be a stranger, when so many of us, laugh, cry and suffer with you? Speaking for myself, I may not know you, but I care very much what happens to you. And I only want the best for you.
Posted by: Linda at June 16, 2007 12:48 AM (1vD55)
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*using a shortcut* ditto what Linda said!
well, mostly. I stop by once or twice a week, but I feel just the same way she describes. It does seem kinda strange - the bond one feels with you when reading your posts - but then the strangeness passes and one feels quite glad to read a new post.
Thank you very much for sharing.
and thank you linda for expressing the thought so succinctly.
Posted by: J.M. at June 17, 2007 06:48 AM (TsXw6)
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Congrats, my dear. ((HUGS))
Posted by: Mia at June 17, 2007 02:20 PM (+2lQc)
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I rarely comment but I have been reading you since Nov. 2003. It is weird, actually. If I go a week without checking in on you, I miss you like a late phone call from my family. Or, once I saw a stuffed animal in a store which reminded me of that silly Bear, i forget it's name, which I signed up to received through your blog, but which never landed in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Yet, I thought of you. And now you are having babies, just at a time when my own children are growing and soon to leave the nest. Four years doesn't seem like a long time, but when reading someone, really it is. I think I follow your blog because of your authenticity. Thank you for sharing your humanity--
Posted by: Marie at June 21, 2007 01:19 AM (FUOcs)
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Happy Anniversary. For the record, i've been reading you since Don Watkins' "Great Blog Wars" where he fought for your honour with Jim of Snoozebuttondreams. Happy 4 years, and here's to as many more as you have fun with!
T
Posted by: Tommy at June 21, 2007 03:41 AM (6CCYI)
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