I think of myself as a very, very tolerant person of all religions and ethnicities. This isn't because I like to think of myself as a beatnik hippy singing Kumbaya at every chance or because I was brought up in an uber-tolerant household, because neither of those are true-I fucking hate the song Kumbaya and generally want to punch people in the throat that sing it, and both my mother's parents and my father's parents have strong veins of certain racism in them-in my father's case, it's important to point out that just because the world group them into a category of "Asian", it doesn't mean they get along (in fact, I think the Japanese are pretty universally hated amongst the Asian ethnicities, and the feeling tends to be mutual.)

I'm not writing here that I am tolerant and understanding to make myself look good in any way, shape or form, but because I honestly think I am. I have a very useless degree in anthropology, which is the study of human cultures. I find people fascinating and puzzling and frustrating and many other words ending in "ing". I'm not throwing this out there that I try to be respectful and protective of all religions and races as the foundation for my arugment.

I'm writing it because I'm currently struggling with it.

I'm not struggling in the broader sense, because I do still support tolerance and acceptance of differences. But suddenly, my own boundaries are being encroached in a way that stresses me out. I've been in countries where I had to go against what I felt because it was important to follow that country's social and cultural mores, and I did. But this is on my turf, and I'm struggling.

As you know, Angus and I live just south of London. This puts us squarely in one of the heaviest London commuter populations, where the majority of people live here but work in the Big Smoke. We're lucky we get to occasionally work from home, but when we do go in to the office, it's a real pain in the ass. We have a choice of three local train stations, but since we live in Commuter Central, all of our train stations become nightmarish from 7:00 to 9:00. The stations have a knock-on effect on each other, too-if one has a problem, the other two become unbearable. If you get to the station after 9, you can forget about parking, there just isn't any room. If you park illegally, you will get a ticket. So even if you don't have to be to a meeting until 11, you're taking an early train just so you can park. For this privilege of battling the train station parking lot, we get to pay £5.00 a day for parking (on top of the £30 for train tickets). If we park illegally and get caught, we get to pay £60.

It's really great.

The train alone is often enough to make my ulcer go off.

I find train commuting to be very, very stressful. Angus and I have had a number of arguments about it, because he likes to show up 0.5 seconds before the door shuts and the train leaves, and I like to be there at least 10 minutes ahead of time in order to calm myself down. I know it sounds ridiculous, and it probably is, but I can't handle the train travel well.

A few weeks ago, something happened at our local station. I had to take a super early train at 6:00 (so no stress for parking at that time of the morning), and I drove in the dark to the station. When I got there, I was amazed.

The parking lot had been taken over by Travellers.

Now, Travellers are something I'd only gotten familiar with since I moved to England. I don't know a great deal about them, but I'll impart what I do know (and apologies in advance if I get things wrong and offend anyone who may be a Traveller). Travellers (also called Gypsies, but apparently that's not an acceptable term) are a nomadic group. Travellers are said to be of Irish origin, while Gypsies are from Romany. In England, Travellers are recognized as an ethnic group, and so have the rights that go along with that.

And in practice, the Travellers seem to be universally hated.

I watched a BBC documentary about them, and while it's true that 72% of Travellers live an honest life (according to this government website), living on authorized land, paying taxes and abiding by the law, it's the 28% of the Travellers that give the rest a bad name. Travellers maintain that culturally, they have the right to be nomadic and move about, based on a cultural practice that apparently can be dated back to 400 A.D. Modern Travellers do so in caravans (trailers).

And the 28% who are hated, do so in unauthorized areas, like protected woodlands, people's private property, in country lanes, and on people's yards.

And now they've taken over the Railway Station parking lot.

When Angus found out, he groaned and rubbed his face. They had Travellers by his old home in Brighton, on the protected Downs. It took the court years to get them evicted as they claim ethnic rights. By the time they finally were evicted, the county council had paid a fortune, years had passed...and the part of the Downs in which those particular Travellers were staying were completely trashed. I used to look over at the Travellers as we passed them on the way to Angus' old home, in one of our monthly trips for upkeep. Plastic chairs flung about, junky cars, caravans parked at random...I was fascinated.

I understand that this is not the majority of the Travellers, but this is how the public views them. Everyone I know has been impacted by them-one of Angus' friends was done by them for work on his driveway (apparently fraud is a key to the less appropriate Traveller groups). Property values have fallen in a number of places because they are camped there. Apparently they have a high crime rate associated with them, and government statistics states they have worse health than non-Travellers and higher infant mortality rates..

Both the BBC and NBC have had documentaries about the Travellers. The NBC one showed American Travellers committing fraud and a number of other felonies. The BBC one showed that a number of Travellers aren't really of Irish Traveller origin, they're simply unemployed and want to stay that way. The press vilifies Travellers and Gypsies alike-apparently some groups of Gypsies promote wedding off the girls at a young age, and the Travellers are written of here in ways that always link to crime and the destruction of property. If they're on private property, it's almost impossible to get them off your land as you have to go to court, as they allege Human Rights abuses due to their ethnic status. I'm honestly not trying to put an unfair slant on the Travellers, I'm just giving you the feedback on what I have seen and read so far.

Until they moved in to the train station, and took up a third of the parking spaces.

And they don't pay the £5 a day parking fee, nor can they get tickets.

And the parking lot the day after they arrived was trashed.

I couldn't believe it.

Miraculously, a few days later they were simply gone. No sign of them. But then today, I dropped Angus off at the station this afternoon, and BOOM! They were back.

And they had reinforcements.

Now over half the parking lot has been taken up with Travellers, to the extent that they are blocking the path to the second half of the parking lot.

I do understand that the Travellers do have a historic background, I really do. But so did the Huns, and you don't see many of those agressive nomadic Asians running around anymore, do you? I also understand that they are discriminated against, but I wonder if it's not a vicious circle-they misbehave and don't get government support, and when they don't get government support they have no options but to misbehave.

But they're in our train station parking lot, making my super-high stress levels even more red-line critical, meaning that the window of opportunity to get a train at any of the stations now is much smaller.

And for this, my guilt is enormous.

It makes me feel like I'm ok about other people's plights, just not on my turf. Trust me, I do understand that most Travellers live the same law-abiding life that I do-paying taxes, paying bills, even paying for parking. Half of me knows this and accepts this. But the other half, the half viewing the other 28%, seethes, and this makes me feel terrible, as though I too am committing an injustice. If I was living through WWII and lived by a concentration camp, would I have turned a blind eye and been annoyed that all that noise was so nearby? During the internment of the Japanese in WWII (an event which affected friends and loved ones on my father's mother's side), would I have been pissed off that the trains I wanted to take weren't available as they were busy shipping the Japanese to POW camps? Am I ok about supporting underdogs, as long as they don't come into my neighborhood?

I know the answers in my heart are "no", and yet I look at the hideously cramped parking lot at the train station and despair, feeling my stress levels explode. Just because I am a schizo about train travel I feel like I am being encroached, and that's not what tolerance is about.

I've begun to question if I'm really as tolerant as I thought I was, if I get so fucked off that my train journey is even worse now than it ever was.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 07:18 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
Post contains 1676 words, total size 10 kb.

1 I totally understand your conflict My job tests my liberal beliefs on a daily basis. You may need some time to sort out all of this new data. After all, it's one thing to hear about this in an intellectual fashion, it's another thing to experience it and have it impact you. I look forward to hearing more about this.

Posted by: ~Easy at March 06, 2007 12:03 PM (eVLXY)

2 There is no conflict I see. No where is it written that another has the right to impose a burden on another. The Travellers have abused you and negatively affected your life. Their lifestyle does not affect you.Where they chose to park did. Parking is their problem. It is not your problem - my therapist always stessed problem ownership. You have no moral or ethical conflict this excessivly tolerant liberal can see. Their parking is one problem you do not own.

Posted by: Foggy at March 06, 2007 01:01 PM (a7k6E)

3 But, you are tolerant of their ethnic group. You are not peeved because this particular group of people at the train station are Travellers, you are peeved because they are causing problems, and you would be peeved no matter what their ethnic background. (And rightfully so.) To me, that is what tolerance is about. Being able to separate the act ("I'm annoyed these people are taking up parking!") from the ethnicity ("I can't stand Travellers - look what they do!"). Being tolerant of a culture or ethnic group does not automatically give them a "get out of jail free" card, where you are expected to tolerate every and anything they do just because of their particular ethnicity.

Posted by: geeky at March 06, 2007 01:56 PM (ziVl9)

4 Can't we tolerate people and still dislike what they do? Tolerance means "to put up with" not "to accept completely", right? It seems that we should tolerate people to the extent they obey the law. But when any group breaks the law (parks without paying, trespassing on private property, stealing,...), tolerance needs to give way to justice; otherwise we end up with anarchy. By the way, my presence on this blogsite is a testimony to Helen's tolerance. Thanks Helen.

Posted by: Solomon at March 06, 2007 03:35 PM (al5Ou)

5 Wait...you're saying you pay ₤35 to commute every day? Is that for a round-trip train ticket? And for the both of you or for just one? Either way, holy crap, that's a lot of money!

Posted by: JC at March 06, 2007 03:40 PM (z2+Q8)

6 I agree with geeky. You are not saying "Damn the Travellers-they are messing up my commute!" Rather you are mad at this group of people-whoever they may be-who are being rude and disruptive. If you ask me, they are using their ethnic status to do whatever the hell they please. Sounds like the majority of Travellers are good honest folk, but because of a bad rep needed some government protection. That is fair and necessary. Yet the people that decided they want to be crooks, the very ones that gave the Travellers the bad rep in the first place, are taking advantage of a status that was enacted to help the honest ones get a fair shake. Once a crook always a crook I guess. You are mad at some people that are being troublesome, and they are calling themselves Travellers in my opinion for no other reason than to raise hell without any consequences. The honest Travellers are surely just about as sick of this as anyone. I know this is frustrating, but the very fact that it is making you examine yourself shows what a moral and good person you are,

Posted by: Teresa at March 06, 2007 03:48 PM (Z5IUv)

7 If I was living through WWII and lived by a concentration camp, would I have turned a blind eye and been annoyed that all that noise was so nearby? It's not the same thing; nobody is forcing them to live at the train station. As for the "we're culturally made this way, we can't help it, it's our heritage, blah blah": Bullshit. I'm part American Indian, oops, I mean, "Native American". *rolls eyes* (Next year we'll be "Ethnic Reddish People of the Western Hemi" whatever. So I guess I'm supposed to have some kind of ethnic pride. Can I roll my eyes again, please? The sooner we get rid of all these ancient cultural barriers, the better. It builds walls between us all and god knows we don't need any more problems than we already have. They are being asses, pure and simple (I tried to put in "a*s*s*h*o*l*e" but your spam filter caught me I suppose since "Native Americans" were nomadic too, I should be able to squat on my neighbor's porch tossing empty Starbucks latte cups all over his pristine lawn. "I was here FIRST, buddy! So BACK OFF!" Oh give me a break... I'm a Human Being. I live on this planet with other Human Beings. As a Human, I owe others respect and consideration and they owe me the same. This group is not showing respect and consideration for others; it doesn't matter what their "heritage" is. But then, I'm not very tolerant and I accept this. *grins*

Posted by: Amber (the other one) at March 06, 2007 04:50 PM (zQE5D)

8 I'm with Geeky on this one. You are frustrated by their behavior--not by who they are. I think not holding any group of people accountable for their actions because of who they are is as bad as discriminating *against* a particular group. If we are all equal--the rules apply equally. It is the behavior--not the people that makes it unacceptable. You would be peeved if a large group of crunchy granola eating dog and cat lovers were camped out and messing with what is already a stressful part of your day as well.

Posted by: sophie at March 06, 2007 05:29 PM (1HOa8)

9 Helen I feel your pain, I used to do the morning scramble into Chicago on a daily basis. The money, the rush, the traffic, the parking all led to stress trying to make the mad dash to board the train. Parking was a nightmare and the lots were usually full by 7:30am. I waited 5 years to join the elusive Permit parking club for $50.00 a month, but even then was never guaranteed a parking spot. Now as for the comment on racial discrimination, give me a break. You, like me, live in a culturally diverse melting pot of a country (isn't every country like this now). Are we not in 2007? The whole let's be PC has been taken too far, and the people who manipulate it to work to their advantage because they are LAZY make me sick. The whole of being Politically Correct was started to protect people, but now it's being used as a weapon if you ask me. The thing that kils me is what they fail to realize is that we like them have rights too. So, the last time I checked the local train parking lot didn't turn into a KOA Campground...right? And squater's rights usually only work when you've actaully signed a prior lease and paid money on a proptery. When I was married to my English half (lived in Chester)....in 2003 the travellers were camped on the HSBC headquarters land. They strug up a clothes line between two esthetic statues. At the time I thought it was funny and facinating. Now I just cant believe they get away with this crap.

Posted by: Heidi at March 06, 2007 06:22 PM (eE17b)

10 sorry, one more thing....About 5 to 7 years back, a woman was caught in a shopping center parking lot severely beating her child...it was all caught on security cameras. Turns out she beat the child so badly they had to take her to the hospital. This all happened in a suburb of Chicago in northern Indiana. It was later reviled that they were Irish Travelers...and the media went nuts over it.

Posted by: Heidi at March 06, 2007 06:31 PM (eE17b)

11 I don't see anything in what you've described that would make me think you're intolerant. I'm going to jump on the geeky bandwagin with this one, and say again.. it's the behavior of _this specific group of people_ that's bothering you, not all Travellers in general. So far you seem to be handling this way better than I probably would.

Posted by: Erin at March 06, 2007 07:07 PM (VkeXi)

12 With everybody else - you're disgusted with a portion of a group - not the whole thing. Here's the thing - we all live by a "gentleman's agreement" that we live by certain rules. Those rules have been built up over the ages, so that we can all get along, and not kill our fellow travellers along the way. (As someone who commutes twice a week via plane to her job, I can relate). But the Travellers - at least that portion of them - say "screw everybody else, we're going to do what we want". I think THAT is what cheezes you off, not who they are, or their ethnic background. And do you think even one of them is sitting around their trailer, feeling guilty that they've made the daily commute that much more stressful for you or the other commuters? Not likely.

Posted by: Tracy at March 06, 2007 07:18 PM (rpUdy)

13 haha i'm totally popular on your blog. i don't get this much attention on my own blog! can i borrow yours? hehe.

Posted by: geeky at March 06, 2007 08:45 PM (ziVl9)

14 Ahh, Hel. You're oversimplyfying yourself. (Did I even spell that right?) You state several times that the majority of Travellers are law abiding and blah blah blah. They don't just take over and cause strife and shit. That it's the other 28% that do. Helen, the other 28% are what's in the parking lot. The other 28% are what you're being exposed to, not the good ones. Of course you're going to be fucked off. You've gotta deal with the assholes. It's like that with every group, ethnic, social, whatever. There are the cool ones and the assholes. The ones people remember are the assholes. It doesn't mean YOU are an asshole, just that you've unfortunately been exposed to that side of the group.

Posted by: Ms. Pants at March 06, 2007 09:04 PM (+p4Zf)

15 Think of it this way. You would be upset and stressed by people doing that, no matter who they were and where they came from. So I don't see it as an ethnic problem - but a people problem. Ergo - no racial or ethnic overtones.

Posted by: kenju at March 06, 2007 10:49 PM (L8e9z)

16 Helen, you are being much too hard on yourself! A person SHOULD be intolerant of criminal behavior. Otherwise, the day will come when we allow all sorts of criminal behavior in order to appear politically correct. Ethnicity has nothing to do with it. P.S. Love your blog, love your photos ... wishing you happiness and stress-free train rides!

Posted by: Evelyn at March 06, 2007 11:39 PM (YadGF)

17 I agree with everyone. I saw the NBC piece and was appalled... partially, because being of Irish heritage I hated to be associated with that. I've always been proud of my heritage and found myself being ashamed of this group. Don't know why I should be any more ashamed of them than I am of what some women and mothers do to their children (and I'm a woman and mother...) so, go figure.

Posted by: sue at March 07, 2007 05:03 PM (9xR02)

18 I'm late to this and everyone has moved on already..... Is it really that you are intolerant of the group or you are intolerant of the rudeness? I've often questioned myself with my own tolerance and every time, it's not a whole group or race or class, it's the rudeness that some individuals display, the selfishness, thoughtlessness and rudeness. THAT is what makes me intolerant. If someone wants to travel around, be a gypsy, what do I care? Just don't be RUDE about it!

Posted by: Serenity at March 08, 2007 12:05 PM (tCvUH)

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