So with all the swimming I've been doing, I've noticed that occasionally my gym has Aqua aerobics classes. I'd be doing my laps and watch the folk in the classes. The classes are about 90% female, and about 99% senior citizen. I've seen the occasional young person in the class (always female), and these younger women seem to be either:

A) Knocked up
B) Carrying crutches

So really, the class is for the older folk.

Well, last week I decided I was bored with swimming laps and I was going to be adventurous. I was going to take the bull by the horns and instigate a change. I don't like the yoga classes, weights bore me, and laps were getting old. So I was going to try an aqua aerobics class!

(Cue trumpets here).

I signed up and went to the class today. With my entrance into the swimming pool, I lowered the average age by about 25 years. I was the youngest person there by a whole generation (in some cases, by two.) The instructor - they're land based creatures in this aqua aerobics world - came up to me.

"Have you ever taken aqua aerobics before?" she asked nicely. (It's pronounced "ack-wuh" here. I say "Ock-wuh", they say "ack-wuh", let's call the whole thing off.)

"No, but I'm a swimmer," I reply.

"Any medical conditions?" she asks.

"I've got a bad back," I say slowly, suddenly seeing myself with the old age pensioners (as seniors are called here) after all.

"Oh, so does most of the class," the teacher replied merrily. "You'll be just fine."

And we start off by jogging in place.

Now, let me explain aqua aerobics-the point is to keep moving in the water, which is about shoulder high. They give you those long floaty styrofoam tubes to use sometimes (which they call a womble and which makes me laugh in a most immature fashion every time) and styrofoam weights. It's a one hour class.

And it's so fucking hard you wouldn't believe it.

Seriously.

Grandma and Grandpa kick some water ass in this class.

I've been a swimmer most of my life. I started swimming from a very young age. I was on swim teams. I used to be a lifeguard. I'm a certified advanced PADI diver. One of my single greatest pleasures in life is snorkelling in warm water, looking at the little fishies. I love the water and generally consider myself very "water fit".

But sweet Jesus, halfway through the class I wanted to die. It was unbelievable. You think kicking your leg up in the water is easy, which it is...for about 30 seconds. You think using weightless styrofoam weights is a snap, which it is...unless you're using them underwater, at which point you're working them against the weight of the water and your biceps start protesting loudly.

A kind, matronly woman looked over at me, seeing me grit my teeth. "It's not easy, is it dear?" she asked sympathetically.

You keep making it look easy, Grandma, and I'll swap your denture cream with Heat Rub.

"It's harder than I thought," I admit.

I don't know how these people do it. They're supposed to be frail. They're supposed to be advancing years. Instead, they're laughing and talking about grandkids and TV and the latest book, while I'm just trying to keep the womble from shooting out of the water and taking my eye out. These people get my serious respect for being way tougher than the stereotype they're forced to live up to.

I owe these women an apology-it's not an easy class. It's fucking hard work. I'll definitely be taking the class again-while the work is hard, your heart rate remains steady (which I appreciate) and it's really more of a muscle development kind of work than anything else. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I also napped all afternoon after it.

So the next time you look in on an aqua aerobics class and smile at the grannies working away in there, know this-they could kick your ass in a heartbeat, my friend.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 12:46 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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