I have a new thing that pregnant women shouldn't be allowed to do - oh sure, you've probably heard that pregnant women shouldn't drink or smoke, that unpasteurized cheese is probably not a good idea and that whole "bungee jumping" idea should be shelved for a few months. But in my personal experience, there is more to the list than that. I've already found that pregnant women shouldn't deal too much with the public, as we have quick tempers and a very low tolerance to stupidity. I've also found pregnancy makes one forgetful (I asked Caltech Girl to post pictures of her lovely new house, and then utterly forgot to check her site and tell her how lovely her new house is. Not because I don't care, but because I clean forgot I'd asked for pictures.)

But I have found a new "no-no": Pregnant women shouldn't be allowed to sell shit on ebay.

We have one ebay account, which is Angus', but which we share. Last week I listed a load of stuff to get rid of-Buffy DVDs, the entire collection of Sex and the City on DVD (which was a good move, as Kim Cattrall was on TV the other night and it sparked a lot of interest in my DVDs), Gorby's old dog kennel, all my hockey stuff, and my old scuba kit, among a load of other things. My hockey career, she is over. And as for scuba, well - I find it a hassle to bring my own kit with me when I go on holiday. I'd rather just rent locally.

I find ebay to be both cool and a pain in the ass. As I'd never sold anything on ebay before, I had no idea the sheer and total amount of muppetry available online. I had some of the most ridiculous questions from sellers that I had ever seen in my life. One chap asked me about my hockey goalie stuff - he asked "would I be prepared to drive 2 hours and meet him halfway, as he has a very fuel inefficient car and doesn't want to pay for petrol". His log-in was something like "Gearhead69", which implies both "car dork" and "I'd love to have lots of sex but no one will fuck me so I stare at my poster of the red Corvette hanging over my bed and masturbate a lot." I told him no, sorry, I won't meet him halfway, and Angus had to physically restrain me from replying in depth about the damage his car is doing to the environment.

In the end, despite massive interest in my hockey goalie gear, it only sold for £50, when I paid well over $1500 for it (and it even had an actual pair of goalie pants used by the Hartford Whalers but I didn't have any certificates of authenticity regarding that). England isn't big on ice hockey, and I couldn't realistically send the kit to the States to sell, as it's one seriously heavy bag. I'd refused a number of buy-it-now offers, too, and am kicking myself, but at least it's all going out the door now. It's for the best. Space in this house is at an absolute premium, a massive 40 pound hockey bag full of equipment I haven't used in 8 years is a bit of a luxury.

The good news is, I made £300 on things I had purchased years and years ago.

The bad news is, the PayPal email address I had in all of the ads was missing the "m" off the end of ".com". So people were sending in payment to an email address that didn't exist. So I emailed my buyers asking them to, if they hadn't already paid, please use the email address using ".com", and many apologies for the inconvenience.

Then we test sent money to the wrong address and saw that PayPal would give you the option of cancelling the payment, as it registered that the email address supplied wasn't real. And so I had to email each and every one of them again with huge apologies, asking them to cancel their payment and please re-direct it to the email with the ".com" on the end. And then I realized that I had cut and pasted one reply to one buyer and sent it to all of my buyers, and what I had done was officially instruct all the buyers to send money for their hockey equipment to the ".com" address, even if they were the ones who'd bought DVDs.

I was apoplectic with rage at this point.

"I can't email them again," I tell Angus. "They're going to think I'm stalking them."

"No, they'll just assume you've been drinking," he replied sagely. "But you have to email them as it'll be confusing if they haven't bought hockey gear off you."

So off I go, emailing my buyers for the 3rd time in ten minutes, apologizing again and swearing I'm not stalking them and/or drunk, but I had just cut and pasted.

12 hours later, most of the buyers bar one are sorted out now, and I'm bracing myself for the bad feedback on my incredible incompetence.

We are meeting up with one buyer this morning to pass off Gorby's old dog kennel. It's much too large to post, and so we requested buyer collect. I was talking to Angus about it this morning.

"We need to meet her about 5 miles away, she doesn't know our area," I tell him over coffee.

"How do you know it's a her?" he asks.

"The person wrote that they want to use the kennel to hold their 10 cats when they move house next week. How many blokes do you know with 10 cats?" I ask.

He concedes it's a fair point.

Angus cleaned out the garage this weekend and has a whole raft of tools to go on ebay today. I found a few more things in the garage this weekend to sell (also found this weekend? My diploma! In a box I looked in! Because I am a buttmonkey and cannot find my ass these days!) but I'm going to let him do it.

I clearly shouldn't be around ebay just now.

And about the name game - it was suggested by someone in a previous post (I can't find who it was! Like I couldn't find my diploma! So surely I'll find out who it was while looking in a box full of old photos and boxes of Crayola Millenium Crayons!) that since the babies' names on the blog will not be their real names, why not let you help choose the names?

OK then.

So go for it.

Angus and I thought it was a good idea. So if you want to suggest a girl's name and a boy's name in the comments, we'll round up a list of 20 or so names from the suggestions (we are rounding up the list to 20 or so names from the pool in case there are some suggestions of names that are actually on our top ten list or are names of people we actually know or work with in real life, because I don't want to get Googled, but otherwise have at it) and let people vote on them later this week. If you're feeling a bit shy, you can also email me, by clicking the "contact" link at the top of the page. The highest vote names for the boy and girl will then be the names we use on the blog for them (which again will not be their real names, but will be the names used for the rest of their bloggy lives).

Suggestions being compiled now.

It's your chance to name the Lemonheads.

If you want, that is.

And...action.

-H.

UPDATE - Based on some comments and emails I've gotten, I think there's some confusion, likely due to the fact that I'm not at all clear these days (see the above ebay story for proof). The name suggestions for the babies are only for my website. As I've said, I won't be blogging the babies' real names, but I need fake names for them to use on this site. The babies' real names are something that Angus and I are already at work on, and we're not discussing the list with anyone apart from Melissa and Jeff. But both Helen and Angus are not our real names, just pseudonyms I use for this website to protect our identity. I need two pseudonyms for the babies, too, to keep them anonymous, so what our real last names are isn't really important, since the names I'll use on the blog won't be their real names. So say, for example, we've already picked out the name "Jan" to name our daughter in real life, that "Jan" is what is going on her birth certificate and everything. While "Jan" may be what her name is in life, on this blog I couldn't call her "Jan" since I won't blog their real names-but we can't figure out what name to use instead of "Jan" for the blog. That's what I'm asking help for, since Angus and I can't think of any "not real" names that the babies will be called from here on out on this blog, and since I imagine I'll be talking about babies in the future, they're going to need some names I can use here.

Make sense, or did I fuck this up even more?

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 09:04 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment
Post contains 1598 words, total size 8 kb.

1 There are many things pregnant women shouldn't do, but I never realized eBay was one of them. I'm not even going to try the name game as I have no idea how they would fit with your last name. Or Angus' last name. (Then again, if you named the boy E.C. I would be flattered) Not throw in a monkey wrench, but are you considering all of the possible nicknames, both good and bad for any name you look at? That was a serious consideration for us when we named our kids.

Posted by: ~Easy at August 27, 2007 11:04 AM (OfRIX)

2 Ah, but my dear Easy, that's the good part-the last names aren't important because this is for their blog identity only. So we can use any name we want. And in real life names, nicknames (as well as what the initials all spell out) are indeed being examined. That's high priority stuff.

Posted by: Helen at August 27, 2007 11:09 AM (OCbWN)

3 Jack & Meg (after the peeps in the White Stripes) My son suggested this.

Posted by: Julie at August 27, 2007 11:21 AM (M2qah)

4 my vote, Amy for a girl, because I have one and I love the name and Ethan for a boy because thats what Amy would probably have ended up as if she, well you get the rest.... we were so super bad about agreeing on boys names that halfway through my epic labour we even had a mini argument about what baby would be called if it was born a boy. Girl's names were easy, his grandma, my grandma, sorted! This is going to be fun!

Posted by: Super Sarah at August 27, 2007 11:26 AM (WCDGg)

5 Thing One and Thing Two. ;^)

Posted by: Sarah at August 27, 2007 12:57 PM (j4dQ9)

6 I have two names to throw in the pot. First, Charlie and Lola- a cute cartoon on disney in the Sates. Its a brother and sister with british accents, very cute. Lola is sort of a dry humor little girl who is so sneaky. OR- I like twin'ish names both starting with the same letter. Like Janie and Jack (also a fantastic kids shop!) Please note I would NEVER name real babies after a cartoon or a store but since these names are just for fun that's different.

Posted by: Christina at August 27, 2007 12:58 PM (FXxJ1)

7 How about Cinderella and Clark Kent? (waiting for the laughter to subside) Ok so those aren't my real votes. Eliza or Bella for a girl Gavin or Jaimen for a boy (Gavin as in Gavin Rosedale from the band Bush, because I had the biggest crush on him years ago. I know. Shallow really, but still he was cute!)

Posted by: Angela at August 27, 2007 01:00 PM (DGWM7)

8 I would have to say Drew or Nina for a girl and Clayton or Dade for a boy! Good luck!

Posted by: Jessica at August 27, 2007 01:33 PM (ii/lW)

9 Nick & Nora. After The Thin Man, not the pajamas.

Posted by: Ms Havisham at August 27, 2007 01:52 PM (QAcXg)

10 Thought #1: A chance to blogname Helen's babies! I want to contribute! Thought #2: But how can I suggest names if I haven't met/seen them? That's just not possible. Thought #3: Ohmygod, I just had an epiphany, as I've *never* understood it when people said that kind of thing...I always thought "just pick a name already, what's there to see?" So I just got a little insight into being pregnant with twins. Thanks!!!!

Posted by: BeachGirl at August 27, 2007 02:14 PM (RgeoX)

11 Kate. Luke.

Posted by: Mia at August 27, 2007 02:15 PM (qfY45)

12 I agree with Ms. Havisham, consider Nick and Nora

Posted by: Suze at August 27, 2007 02:50 PM (grQfl)

13 Well, I am not gonna take you up on this simply because I don't know your real names and I think a childs' name should go well - especially with their last name. It matters in the whole "nickname" and "nasty name calling" that can happen. I'm sure you will find ones that fit them perfectly...without my input. Congrats on finding the diploma! The whole E-bay thing? I've decided that is one area of my life I really need to stay away from. My youngest son handles all that side of the computing world for me. He's good at it.

Posted by: sue at August 27, 2007 03:38 PM (WbfZD)

14 pea and pod? flotsam and jetsam? ink and blot? not helping am i? harold and maude? fred and ginger? still not helping. hmmm, guess i'll have to try again later.

Posted by: becky at August 27, 2007 04:15 PM (jv5jW)

15 Lucy and Leo Lemonhead!

Posted by: Kellie at August 27, 2007 04:58 PM (RZBUN)

16 I never realized you hadn't seen the pictures. Click over to Flickr anytime! As for the names, I vote for Luke and Leia :-) Nick and Nora is good, too, though. OOOOH! WAIT! I know: Zan and Jayna: The Wonder Twins! But then Gorby would have to be Gleek. I doubt he'd mind, though.

Posted by: caltechgirl at August 27, 2007 05:11 PM (/vgMZ)

17 That pregnancy brain fog? Yeah, it never completely goes away. And personally, I think ebay is dangerous for anyone. Hi, my name is Teresa, and I am an ebay addict. Names....hmmm. Brandon and Brenda (90210 much)? My personal favorite fictional twin names though? Phil and Lil from Rugrats. I love those two!

Posted by: Teresa at August 27, 2007 05:25 PM (NW5l5)

18 Ebay is a minefield, or mindfield as a friend once called it, she also used to think it was paper-view not pay-per-view. Surprisingly she didn't get the Mind-bottling joke in Blades of Glory... Name suggestions; Nancy and Drew Peter and Jane (ladybird learning to read books) George and Mildred (maybe a little too British sitcom) Fred and Wilma or Barney and Betty

Posted by: Jayne at August 27, 2007 05:39 PM (q5uvl)

19 OK. I get it now. I've had some more thoughts other than the email I sent you. Pebbles & Bam-Bam (Flintstones) Phil & Lil (Rug Rats) Bert & Nan or Freddie & Flossie (Bobbsey Twins) I have to say that AJ (Angus Jr.) is still my favorite for the boy , but I'm still drawing a blank for the girl.

Posted by: ~Easy at August 27, 2007 05:55 PM (OfRIX)

20 Pinky & Perky

Posted by: Jennifer at August 27, 2007 07:14 PM (xEC7K)

21 As a devoted EDS reader and a devoted Tolkein fan I offer three suggestions: Galadriel Arwen Aragon All royalty and of character. Seemed to me to representative of the home thye will grace with their reciprocated love. Posted by: Foggy at August 27, 2007 07:57 PM

Posted by: Foggy at August 27, 2007 08:12 PM (WlHuv)

22 Jack and Elizabeth

Posted by: melanie at August 27, 2007 11:06 PM (vcibb)

23 How about Miriya and Malachai?

Posted by: malenkka at August 28, 2007 12:02 AM (aSTt9)

24 Buffy and Xander? Buffy and Spike? Willow and Xander?

Posted by: lauren at August 28, 2007 12:24 AM (3Uw78)

25 Hmm. I think I'm going to go a bit on the weird side. Cinderella and Charming. Robin and Marian. Fred and Ginger. Lydia and William (and if you want an explanation for that one, you will have to email me.) Susan and Lobsang. I think that's enough from me right now.

Posted by: B. Durbin at August 28, 2007 01:48 AM (tie24)

26 Fran & Ollie

Posted by: Jennifer at August 28, 2007 02:32 AM (xEC7K)

27 I vote for Nick and Nora......... or Janie and Jack (which is my favorite clothing store for kids!) Also, Charlie and Lola would be cute!

Posted by: Megan at August 28, 2007 03:08 AM (DMnkh)

28 How about Bilbo and Belladonna?

Posted by: kenju at August 28, 2007 04:02 AM (TiGru)

29 Oooh, I second Jack and Meg. Both fun, and nice actual names. Or Amy and Aaron. And ebay terrifies me. I won't even try it.

Posted by: usagi at August 28, 2007 05:08 AM (eEi99)

30 i like the names Ezra and Isobel abs x

Posted by: abs at August 28, 2007 07:37 AM (pejJ8)

31 Jack and Jill.

Posted by: Dawn at August 28, 2007 09:36 AM (gXlQ0)

32 I thought about Jack and Jill too, but I keep thinking about Jack falling down that hill. The names you use now for your family are not unusual jump-out-at-you names, so how about Kate and Max? Short and sweet.

Posted by: patndixie at August 28, 2007 02:01 PM (aPTWG)

33 How about Tristan and Isolde, or is that too epic? More serious possibilities: Boy names: William, Robert, Seamus, Patrick, Michael. Girl names: Bethany, Nicole, Mary, Catherine, Anne. Literary: Bert and Nan or Freddie and Flossie. Then again, maybe you don't want to name your kids after the Bobbsey twins. Flopsy and Mopsy? But no Peter, so probably not a good choice.

Posted by: physics geek at August 28, 2007 02:03 PM (MT22W)

34 For a boy: Ted, Ian, Sean, Henry For a girl: Alice, Lucy, Lil, Kate

Posted by: amelia at August 28, 2007 02:14 PM (L2+hh)

35 I don't know about the origin, but I like Jack and Meg. I also like Flotsam and Jetsem.

Posted by: Hannah at August 28, 2007 02:26 PM (5w+E2)

36 Hmm. You love to write and travel and you're about to experience magic for a second time during the childhoods of the Lemonheads. So I vote for two children that made an impact on many of us: Milo (The Phantom Tollbooth) and Alice (Alice in Wonderland). And they sound a bit British as well!

Posted by: Oda Mae at August 28, 2007 08:33 PM (NgeMo)

37 Sydney for a girl and Joshua for a boy.

Posted by: DavidT at August 28, 2007 09:01 PM (hkvGr)

38 I think you should blogname the kids names that you love that were considered in real life but ultimately rejected for one reason or another. That way you can still enjoy those names! Of course, I'm currently still thinking of them as Krustina and Wayne...

Posted by: ZTZCheese at August 28, 2007 11:29 PM (2//TA)

39 Gawd! Thet pregnancy brain thing... don't get me started. I am in the early stages of pregnancy myself and I already feel that I shouldn't be trusted at work, let alone with the most menial tasks. And here I'm about the venture in the name game of the lemonheads. Thankfully, they are only blog names. To think I still have to name my little peanut... I suggest Mork and Mindy for fun and Isabel and Jacob for 'real' life names as I love these names.

Posted by: Missgirlbliss at August 29, 2007 12:44 AM (D0HUP)

40 Heh, I just realized that Jack and Meg start with the same letters as the blog names of the two kids you already have: Jeff and Melissa! To the person who suggested Kate & Max, I know two siblings named Cait and Max and I've always loved their names. Of course, they're good kids, that helps a lot!

Posted by: Julie at August 29, 2007 09:21 AM (M2qah)

41 I love Nick and Nora. The images those names produce are priceless. Or, Nancy and George from Nancy Drew. Yes, I know George was a girl, so Ned would work as well.

Posted by: sophie at August 29, 2007 10:22 AM (AY+fk)

42 Sticking with the Scottish theme - my suggestion is Hamish and Fiona.

Posted by: Lostdawill at August 30, 2007 03:19 PM (r1n1Z)

43 You may not want silly names, but I'm as pregnant as you and can only come up with Lemmy and Hedie.

Posted by: Tinker at August 30, 2007 07:23 PM (HGoEM)

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