OK, so another interesting morning Chez Helen.

Yesterday morning I started contracting and the contractions lasted all day and into the night, staying a constant 8 minutes apart. I finally broke down and called Labor and Delivery this morning, where they predictably told me I needed to come in (this is par for my course, really. "How many weeks are you? You're-you're having TWINS? Oh my God. Come in. Right away. Bring Cheetos.")

So - much to Angus' delight - we went in this morning (he hates going to the hospital. As in "would prefer going to the dentist anyday" kind of hate). I was hooked up to various monitors and trussed up, feeling like they were strapping me in to deliberately show that I have reached sausage-like proportions in my midsection. I looked like the spill-over you get at the top of a thigh high stocking.

Pregnancy is so glamorous.

The monitoring was ok - the Lemonheads are fine and as per usual the babies weren't interested in letting anyone listen to them and thus spent their time trying to swim away or kick off the sensors. They're pretty successful at that game, too, and it amuses me to watch the strength with which they'll nail one of the sensors to get it off them. I continued to have contractions, but they only came to 25% max when I was having them, and apparently in order to be considered "in labor" your contractions need to be at 50%. Now, 25% is uncomfortable enough, I can't really visualize 50%. Or, worse yet, 80%. What is that considered? A legitimate legal defense for killing folk? The one time it's ok to watch Ricki Lake and chant "Go Ricki"?

They wanted to admit me for observation but I fought them on it, as we live close to the hospital should anything start to change. It's been determined that I am not in labor but that my insides are clearly unhappy. They did a scan of the babies which showed that the boy is fully engaged, which means his head is bumping right down inside my pelvis by the cervix. The little girl is turned sideways, lengthwise across my body, so that round thing coming out of my left side is her head, not his ass. Good thing, too, as I was finding it weird that rubbing his bum like that calmed him down so much and while Mummy loves you, sweetheart, she's not going to always be willing to rub your rump to get you to relax.

The doctor did a pelvic exam, and for once I was pretty damn glad I'd gone and gotten waxed on Wednesday. I was feeling pretty unattractive and even though I can't see my own beaver anymore, I just thought a Brazillian might cheer me up. If by "cheer myself up" I meant "nearly scream with the pain of 10,000 fire ant bites on my privates", then I was right. But at least I had a tidy package down there, and that helps.

The exam showed that while I am not in labor, my body is actually getting ready for labor. Without going into too much gory detail (cause that never happens on this site), it turns out that my cervix has softened, which is a sign that my body is getting ready for labor. The doctor gives me 50/50 chances of preterm labor, and I honestly think that I will deliver sometime early myself.

We're getting there.

I'm at home now, and on light duties. I'm to go to the hospital if the contractions get closer together, get stronger, or my water breaks.

So thank goodness we've got some names for the Lemonheads then. A few of the names that were suggested and were up for voting were names that had been on our list, actually - Jack, Charlie, Kate and Isobel were all on our possible real name list before we crossed them off. But you voted and the votes, all tallied up, reveal the name of the Lemonheads once they're born.

You'll be introduced to Nick and Nora, once they're here.

Until then though, at least in my world, they're the Lemonheads.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 01:20 PM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
Post contains 704 words, total size 4 kb.

1 Oh, sure, anything to get out of cleaning huh? JK, I worried about you all night, glad everything is good, and it sounds like Nora is trying to turn on her own to follow her "older" brother out. This is so cool, hope you feel ok, and keep us posted, it won't be long now! We, your fans, are so excited!

Posted by: Donna at September 14, 2007 01:42 PM (FBH6N)

2 And Asta? Do we get an Asta too?

Posted by: Ms. Pants at September 14, 2007 02:23 PM (+p4Zf)

3 Glad to hear that the while the timer's ticking down, the oven is still baking. I really hope this means that the girly is trying desperately to follow her brother without assistance. I suspect you might find that's the case for quite a long time.....

Posted by: caltechgirl at September 14, 2007 02:40 PM (/vgMZ)

4 Wait 'til that mucus plug falls out...it is one of the most disgusting yet fascinating things I have ever seen. I hope you are feeling good. Of course, if you feel real good you are probably going into active labor soon. With my first, I was dialated to 3 for a month, 50% effaced and fully engaged. That was just a singleton-I can only imagine what it is like with two. Wonder what this weekend will bring....

Posted by: Teresa at September 14, 2007 02:44 PM (FFp9r)

5 I'm excited for you, in a "I hope when the time comes, it's easy and quick" kind of way. Well even though Gavin didn't come close (;() Nick and Nora are adorable ! Best Wishes!!

Posted by: Angela at September 14, 2007 02:47 PM (DGWM7)

6 How exciting! You're almost there, dear Helen!

Posted by: Amanda at September 14, 2007 02:55 PM (ay+rD)

7 wow. so excited for you! i'm waddling around, wondering how i'll last another 2 months. and you'll probably be holding your lemonheads soon. i hope everything goes well when the time comes, and that they are both quite healthy.

Posted by: becky at September 14, 2007 03:09 PM (jv5jW)

8 Yay for Nick and Nora! And yay for you - the end is in sight and chances are it's going to be a fairy tale ending. Have you decided on the real names, yet? I know you won't tell us what they are, I'm just curious if you've decided. Oh, yes. And I've now decided to never try waxing, thanks.

Posted by: Hannah at September 14, 2007 04:33 PM (lUH62)

9 Ok, I think you get a medal for having a brazillian that far a long in your pregnancy. It was enough for me to worry about whether or not my legs were shaved. Literally - before we went to the hospital the morning my daughter was born, my mom sent me in to shave my legs. She's a giver, that one.

Posted by: Tracy at September 14, 2007 05:11 PM (zv3bS)

10 Oh my it's getting so close. Take care of yourself, Kelly in Canada

Posted by: Kelly at September 14, 2007 05:32 PM (5ix6G)

11 You know my opinion on early delivery. Hang on for a couple more weeks, Lemonheads!!! Be well, Helen!

Posted by: Sarah at September 14, 2007 05:33 PM (Fb/9N)

12 So, while I am not terribly religious, H, I did want to tell you just the same that yesterday, while in synagogue for the first day of Rosh Hashana, I included you and your little ones in my prayers and asked that G-d inscribe you all in the Book of Life. I figure any and all help is welcome. Love ya.

Posted by: RP at September 14, 2007 07:35 PM (op1yW)

13 yay, love Nick and Nora actually, my second choice best lemonhead names! hang in there, its only a matter of time now. As for a brazilian in your third trimester? god that is incredible!

Posted by: Super Sarah at September 15, 2007 12:05 AM (UK4xW)

14 It's getting exciting! We're all thinking about you and wishing you nothing but goodness...

Posted by: sue at September 15, 2007 01:14 AM (QPmVy)

15 I know it doesn't seemt this way for you...but this pregnancy is flying by it seems. I'm sure you'll be happy to have properly working kidney's and ureters in the near future.

Posted by: Heidi at September 15, 2007 05:04 AM (730gd)

16 They'll always be the Lemonheads to me too, but I guess I can refer to them as Nick and Nora if everyone else is. I can't wait until all the waiting is over.

Posted by: Donna at September 15, 2007 06:22 AM (lQSbL)

17 Your're in the home stretch! I thought I was going into labor a week before my son was born. Then it stopped. And I had little contrractions that whole week - it felt like eternity!

Posted by: Sara at September 15, 2007 12:31 PM (FwBEN)

18 I voted for Nick and Nora three times, so I am glad you picked those names. Good luck to you, hang in there just a bit longer. All will be well.

Posted by: Irene at September 15, 2007 01:55 PM (RL+iu)

19 I voted for those names too! YAY! Now be careful and don't go into labor too soon.

Posted by: kenju at September 16, 2007 02:37 AM (TiGru)

20 Nick and Nora...I like!

Posted by: maolcolm at September 16, 2007 10:51 AM (IIfRo)

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