So I've started watching this new TV show that just debuted over here called Heroes. I'm sure in the States you're already on Season 15 of Heroes, where they battle the Superfriends (who have gone contract and, since getting unionized, are a little less on the "friends" side of the Superfriends). Here, we are hurtling towards Episode 4 tonight, which I am looking forward to-I've become hooked.

I love the show. I love the little Japanese guy (is it me or does he always seem to be shouting? I think he's shouting. Yes, my Japanese is appalling - I can only count from 1-6 in Japanese, I have no idea why the numbering ends there - but I'm going to ask my Dad for a second opinion. I think the character shouts a lot.) I like Nathan, the former Gilmour Girls character who needs to eat something. I like the cop especially, he seems like a sweet-hearted man.

There's something about superheroes that really appeals to people. Maybe we like thinking that there is something special and unique in the dork that is all of us-if you think about it, no Superhero's alter ego is cool, they're all a collection of nerds and geeks destined for few signatures in the yearbook. It's like knowing that those of us who live by the word "geek" have a chance, even if that chance is just to be able to push a pencil off the desk using our mind. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but a pretty fun diversion.

Since I started watching this show (which I confess, I only started watching it yesterday-I had three episodes recorded and the weather was so shit I took it easy and watched them all in one go) I've begun wondering in what ways I could be a Superhero. Not like I can walk through walls (in fact if history is any indication, I am spectacular at walking into them instead of through them) and not like I can start fires with my mind (although there has been an occasion or two where I started a fire with some candles, but we won't talk about that now) but little things.

I'll show you.

****************************

It was a windy and brisk morning. She looked out at the sky - currently sunny, but threatening to break at any moment - and sighed. It was going to be one of those days.

Walking into the study, the whirring sound of electronics took her mind off the sky. This was the hub of her operations, her domain which kept her linked in to the criminal minds of the world at large. She had to keep tabs on everyone at all times, and this throb of human interaction was the one place to do it.

All of a sudden, a choking sound came from one of the gadgets! Quickly, she donned her action cape and got to business! The world was no longer safe this morning.

From the hallway came the thud of footsteps. The intruder was in the house, and making his way to her hub! She vowed to stand her ground, when in walked...VEXATION MAN!

"Why the hell isn't the printer working?" mutters Vexation Man. She knows she has seconds until there's a blast of white hot molten anger from Vexation Man. She wraps her cape close to her.

"Ummm...it wasn't working yesterday, either," she intones in a calm voice, her last defense against Vexation Man. Vexation Man's nemesis is Any Computer Problems That I Have To Deal With Man, and if there's one sacred vow amongst Superheroes it's that A Superhero Must Never Interfere With Another's Battle To The Death With Their Nemesis, That's Just Not Done.

"So I spent all that time installing the drivers for it to disappear?" rages Vexation Man. She realizes the danger she's in, and with a silent pop!, she disappears completely. Vexation Man wrangles with his nemesis, the printer, and as he does she quietly absconds from view and lives to fight another day.

She is...InvisiGirl!

****************************

Logging on to the hub of operations, she observes that the world is continuing in much the same vein-McDonald's still hasn't brought back the Sausage Breakfast Biscuit in this part of the world, and until that happens, terror will reign in the hearts of all of England.

Or at least terror will reign in the hearts until the Biscuit arrives, then hardened arteries will reign.

She logs in to her super secret server, the one with the dastardly plans for the destruction for the cosmetics world. She must stop them, she knows she cannot live without lip gloss! She's been tracking and watching their actions for months now, time is almost upon her!

She logs in and....it fails! She gets an exchange error! The drama builds as the attempts to login again!

Vexation Man pokes his head around into her secret chamber of operations. "The server's are being upgraded at work, so email's down."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Left only with her personal email account, she has no ability to stop the horrible plot to eradicate all women of their slap! Will she live to fight another day? Can she survive without access to her work world?

She is....What The Fuck Is Wrong With My Computer Again? Girl!

****************************

She bites her lip and looks out the window. The howling rain - Day 10 of the stuff - is beginning to weigh her down. She knows it's all a plot to drain her of her energy by her evil Nemesis, Captain Spring, and she knows that his clever ploy of covering every possible surface with her own personal Kryptonite, known on this planet as Mud, is sapping her of her Superpowers.

She crawls to the couch, taking her remote communications hub with her (known in this country as a laptop, but it's truly a clever device that lets her keep her finger on the pulse of the world as well as watch ebay auctions.) Moving ever slower, the force of the mud on her, she feels completely zapped. Creeping towards the remote, she barely manages to click it on. Lagging ever more, she hears her phones ringing in the other room-it could be the commissioner! They could need her help! It could be the end of the world! Only...she can't make it to the phone in time, the mud and dreariness has sapped her! All that she can do is raise a weak fist at the sky and turn on CSI, and sit there and watch it in exhausted silence!

She is....Slow Motion Girl!

****************************

See? I can totally be a Superhero. You can, too.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 09:44 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 1125 words, total size 6 kb.

1 Don't worry. We're only just now about to wrap up the 1st season. But it is a kick-ass show. And it's going to take twists and turns that you will NOT see coming.

Posted by: ~Easy at March 05, 2007 12:12 PM (eVLXY)

2 LOL you just crack me up! I have never seen the show but, now I will have to make the effort.

Posted by: justme at March 05, 2007 12:30 PM (3mCBU)

3 If you like Heroes now, just wait - it keeps getting better with every episode! It's an awesome show. And you might be surprised to see some of your alter egos show up on the show....

Posted by: geeky at March 05, 2007 01:20 PM (ziVl9)

4 I think we're still in the first season. Dink loves that show. But he watches them all online because seriously, I can't get into it. Then again, I'm weird like that and I hated Lost.

Posted by: statia at March 05, 2007 03:30 PM (KcrOI)

5 As someone who absolutely is freaking fanatical about Gilmore Girls... (I own all the seasons and I've seen many of the shows way more than once.) ...I had to look up Heroes to see who it had in it. It appears Peter is actually Milo (who played Jess in Gilmore Girls). Now I'm thinking I may have to watch Heroes. After all, I already watch all of the other male ex-Rory boyfriend spinoffs. One Tree Hill (Tristan from Gilmore Girls, Chad Michael Murray) and Supernatural (Dean from Gilmore Girls, Jared Padalecki). I should add Jess/Milo to the list! And Statia? I LOVE Lost.

Posted by: Jen(aside) at March 05, 2007 03:39 PM (u973k)

6 As someone who absolutely is freaking fanatical about Gilmore Girls... (I own all the seasons and I've seen many of the shows way more than once.) ...I had to look up Heroes to see who it had in it. It appears Peter is actually Milo (who played Jess in Gilmore Girls). Now I'm thinking I may have to watch Heroes. After all, I already watch all of the other male ex-Rory boyfriend spinoffs. One Tree Hill (Tristan from Gilmore Girls, Chad Michael Murray) and Supernatural (Dean from Gilmore Girls, Jared Padalecki). I should add Jess/Milo to the list! And Statia? I LOVE Lost. P.S. I always have problems posting comments on this site. It makes me sad.

Posted by: Jen(aside) at March 05, 2007 03:41 PM (u973k)

7 That was fucking great. This is why I love you. I think most of the time, I am I'll Do It Later Woman.

Posted by: Teresa at March 05, 2007 04:24 PM (qOK7i)

8 That was fucking great. This is why I love you. I think most of the time, I am I'll Do It Later Woman.

Posted by: Teresa at March 05, 2007 04:28 PM (qOK7i)

9 Heroes is a GREAT show! We are totally into it and yes, it's only the 1st season here, so you're not that behind. Enjoy! It really does get even better; in fact, last week's show is one of the best TV shows I've ever watched in my life. Unlike "Lost" (the 1st season we loved, but we had to bail halfway through the 2nd when they refused to give enough answers to what was going on) with Heroes, so far they are maintaining the momentum and even better, they are giving answers and not just stringing the viewer along.

Posted by: Amber (the other one) at March 05, 2007 08:18 PM (zQE5D)

10 Heroes is MY show, yo. Casey and I watch this every single Monday, it's our weekly moment of bonding. Okay, here's my geeky confession. Not only do I absolutely HAVE to watch Heroes live (I couldn't insult this show by tivo-ing it) but then I read the synopsis on televisionwithoutpity.com. It's almost as good as the actual series, lol. Oh, Nathan Petrelli..you are so pretty. And stern. And pretty. And pretty. My alter-ego? I call her Sleep Vixen. She can sleep anytime! Anywhere!

Posted by: Lindsay at March 05, 2007 11:19 PM (dzif/)

11 Another total Heroes FAN-atic here! Last week's episode was so wonderful, I caught myself watching it with this big goofy smile on my face, like I was some 7 year old little boy or something...which I'm certainly not! I agree with everybody else - keep watching, 'cause it only gets better. And the coolest thing is - just like in real life, not all these "heroes" do good things with their "gift." It really is original.

Posted by: Linda Lee at March 06, 2007 01:39 AM (TlsPc)

12 Funny stuff, Helen. Today I was slow-motion irl too. Working 12 hours a day will do that to ya'.

Posted by: kenju at March 06, 2007 04:16 AM (L8e9z)

13 Warning....Warning.... STEP SLOWLY AWAY FROM THE TV.... They say too much television rots the brain. Put the remote down NOW!

Posted by: Heidi at March 06, 2007 04:45 AM (EQKCj)

14 I love Heroes, too! You have a lot to look forward to...it's fantastic.

Posted by: sue at March 07, 2007 04:54 PM (9xR02)

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