I wonder what it is about our days that makes us remember them. Can you look back and say: "Oh yes-February 19, 2004. I remember it well, that's the day I had scrambled eggs for breakfast and had an Americano instead of my usual latte at Starbucks." Or: "Sure, I recall November 10, 2005. That's the day I had a presentation at the office and had that massive python tattooed across my back. It kinda' hurt."

Do most days just pass us by in a blur, they have no imprint on us, they don't make a difference? We register that the floor of the coffee shop needs a mopping, but it doesn't change our life. We have 10 voice mails, but they have nothing revolutionary to add. We pop in to blogs that make us smile, make us cry, make us cringe, but when we click that red X in the upper right-hand corner, it doesn't linger with us past that popping mouse click.

If we save up a host of these days, does it mean that our recollection will be a cumulative one-our interminable days become a single day in our memory (wake up, shower, brush teeth, dress, leave house, head to work, get coffee, work, head home, undress, watch TV, have dinner, go to bed.) Will we look back at our twenties and see this pattern? Will it mark our thirties? Is our forties about refining this pattern, getting the daily grind into perfection?

They say that on their death bed no one really wishes they worked more, but I think that's only because they haven't polled everyone. That, and do you really know you're punching the grand time clock at that moment? With my luck, just before I kick the bucket, I'll be telling a dirty joke or asking for another plate of mac and cheese. Hardly the romantic images we all have of tearfully clutching our loved ones and telling them what they meant to us.

How many of us wake up in the morning and grin, saying "THIS! This is the day I've been waiting for, I think. I'm sure of it. Today is here, and today could be the day." And how many of us head through that day and the most amazing thing that happens is someone hands us a red balloon animal. Maybe it occassionally works that way-maybe the chap that invented Hubba Bubba woke one morning and shouted "Today is my day! I'm going to grab my day by the balls and I'm going to make it strawberry flavored!"

Maybe not every day needs to be this way. Maybe our days should be ordinary just so we can enjoy the little patches of extraordinary. I caught the train into London yesterday then walked to the office, while eating a bagel (not on the calorie approved list, but I made myself walk fast to help burn some of it off.) I had a few meetings. I lost my temper. I got offered a job by a manager I can't stand (so that'll be a no then.) I walked to a theatre and saw a film with a mate of mine (Blood Diamond, and definitely not a film you should see if you're PMSing as I cried like a baby every time a little kid got shot, which in this film happens a lot. I also like my Australian non-conflict diamond engagement ring a whole lot and we're definitely going to ensure my wedding ring is certified conflict free from Australia, too, and not just because I saw the film.) I bought a sandwich at the station and went home.

Not a day likely to stick in my mind in the long term.

I'm not depressed or upset, in case this post is reading like that. I'm just feeling pretty random and wondering what my memories are going to be made of, because days are passing (as is my youth) and I want to know which days are the days I'm supposed to seize. I'm ok about a haze of nondescript memories of train tickets, Starbucks, minutes of meetings, and poached fish for dinner. Those memories aren't bad necessarily, I just want a bit of heads up on the days that have a say in changing my life. I can look back and see days that met those criteria, I know the ones that made everything change in the blink of an eye.

I just want some control over them.

And I want to wake up, punch the air, and say This is the day. Today is the day. I'm seizing the fucking moment and together we're going to make a memory that I'll remember forever.

It's not happening today.

But I've decided it will happen, so bear with me.

I'll be expecting to hear from you, too, on when your day is. You know, so I can punch the air with you. You show me yours and I'll show you mine and all that.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 08:33 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 839 words, total size 4 kb.

1 The key is to believe that every day of your life has the potential to become that "best day of your life". It's all about attitude.

Posted by: kenju at February 20, 2007 12:56 PM (L8e9z)

2 Even though I'm a control freak, I like not knowing what each new day holds. It makes it worth it to get out of bed in the morning, to find out if maybe this will be the best day of my life. Or, on the flip side, if it will be the worst day of my life. If I knew in advance which days were going to be the best, would I also have to know which days were the worst? And then wouldn't I avoid the worst days, hiding under the covers all day? And wouldn't that somehow diminish the best days? More often than not, days that I predict will be "best" days end up being disappointingly ordinary anyway.

Posted by: geeky at February 20, 2007 02:10 PM (ziVl9)

3 I keep hoping that one of those days will show up, but it hasn't happened yet.

Posted by: amber at February 20, 2007 02:17 PM (+QIvh)

4 For some reason this post reminds me of that 'Seinfeld' episode, where George loudly proclaims "this is the summer of George!", and he ends up spending the entire summer in front of the t.v. in a recliner with a fridge in the side of it. I'm a control freak too, but I find the best days come with no fist in the air, no declarations. I think the best days are the ones when I lay my head on my pillow at the end of the day, and a smile slowly creeps across my lips and I think to myself as I drift off to sleep "you know, today was a fucking fantastic day..." They are not earth-shattering or monumental to anybody else, but they are mine and they are good. I've had a few-and I am looking forward to a lot more.

Posted by: Teresa at February 20, 2007 02:28 PM (TBK9/)

5 Ahh those days. Haven't had many of them lately but that's a whole other story. I've done the wake up \ punch the air \ 'seize the day by the balls' thing alright, but then I get out of bed...

Posted by: Elisa at February 20, 2007 04:03 PM (NWmFg)

6 I have a friend who actually 'can' tell you what she was doing on specific dates-it's the weirdest thing. And I hope I haven't had the best day of my life yet, I always want it to be tomorrow.

Posted by: Jocelyn at February 20, 2007 05:24 PM (bwFKZ)

7 I just don't want to ever wake up and realize that I'll never have another fist-pumping day..... And for the record, I DO remember November 10, 2005. That was my 29th birthday. :-)

Posted by: caltechgirl at February 20, 2007 07:31 PM (r0kgl)

8 You know what's funny. When I look back on my life the memories that make me smile are rarely the ones that I expected to be the "biggies". The days I've been replaying when things are low are not our wedding day, any of my graduations or buying our home. Instead they seem to be more sporadic momments of joy that make my heart sing and ease whatever frustration or despair I have at the time. My baby neice smiling euphorically at the beach, my husband's smiling face bringing an unexpected cold drink when I was gardening on a hot day, the skyline of New York appearing through the taxi window on my first trip to the States, the thrill as my friend Trip finally stepped off the bungy platform on his third attempt, the wave of sheer euphoria as I put my Masters thesis in the post box and realised it was DONE! (Yes that always has to be in capitals). So what I wonder is, do we need a "best day of our life" or should we just capture and surf the small waves of joy wherever we find them? After all I can't tell you the exact dates of any of the events I mentioned above, but THEY are the memories I'll be replaying as I sit nodding by the fire in my dotage. Too simplistic?

Posted by: Flikka at February 20, 2007 08:55 PM (VefMs)

9 Hmmmm.... I think the days that stick out in my mind the most are the ones in which I MATTERED. The ones in which I did something, no matter how insignificant, that was noticed by someone else. Something positive. Or those days in which I did nothing but someone noticed me anyway. And CONNECTED with me on some level. Be it a close loved one, a dear friend, a small lost child, or a total stranger in the store, I was for a brief moment actively part of someone else's life. And I MATTERED. In some positive way I made my mark on the world. I had some influence on someone, which may well ripple on to affect others. And something that simple tends to give me great joy, even if it's only a short moment. But that joy stays with me. Hope I didn't lose you too much with this, but those are the days I remember most. At least the good ones.

Posted by: diamond dave at February 20, 2007 09:29 PM (XRIjq)

10 I've been thinking about that, too. I like the concept behind the Flickr group 365 Days - every day does have a story to tell, no matter how small. I've started keeping a journal again for the same reason.

Posted by: maolcolm at February 20, 2007 10:07 PM (DSZZk)

11 I'm going to wait to punch the air on "your" day before I tell you about mine! Priorities!

Posted by: Sarah at February 20, 2007 10:29 PM (bu/M7)

12 Every day could be like that, if you're the type to believe that you can "choose" to make a difference. I think that most people, me included, are complaceent and they are just willing to accept the status quo. Speaking just for myself, the instances where I've made a difference and really seized the day are situations that I was caught up in...not anything that I sought out.

Posted by: Kevin at February 21, 2007 05:10 AM (1YjEB)

13 I don't know if I would want a specific "fist in the air" day... I have a collection of odd happy memories that may span across the years, but I figure that means I've had lots of fantastic little moments. For me, it's the little things that matter. Some of the bigger days that I remember are more negetaive days, you know the days you sort of wish you could blur a little.

Posted by: Angela at February 21, 2007 11:41 AM (wi+Vy)

14 helen, i think we're close in age; i may be a year or two older. know what my punch the air day will be? 5/18/07 when i finally graduate with my bachelor's degree. a little less than 3 months. it's been a long time coming. and i can't wait.

Posted by: becky at February 23, 2007 06:49 AM (gxmeq)

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