(Just kidding. But it is a continuation of yesterday, so if you read then you'd better put down that hoagie.)
OK, so the Mooncup? She is all right. A little strange, a little unusual, but I think I'm a convert.
Strangely, for someone with so many phobias (including a phobia of poo. Don't ask, just accept) I have no real issues with menstrual blood. I don't love it or anything, I'm not rocking the house with joy when I flow like a river, but if I get a little on my hands I just shrug and head for the soap and water. I also don't panic if a little blood gets elsewhere, I simply clean it up and don't stress about sterilizing everything within a 3 mile radius. Additionally after all this IVF and UTI stuff I've become pretty familiar with the love tunnel anyhow, so maneuvering some silicone goods in my golden chute doesn't bother me.
I got my Mooncup yesterday (Mooncup is the same thing as a Diva Cup. It's all Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone here, everyone's gotta' change a name or two). I unwrapped it and was floored. This thing, this Mooncup? It was enormous. How the fuck was this thing ever going to fit in there? What the hell, did they think I was the proud owner of a vaginal Grand Canyon? I followed the website's advice-as I'd had a child (or two) via C-section and am over 30 that therefore qualifies me as needing the A Cup (and I haven't been an A Cup since puberty. Ah, the good old days.) If I hadn't had kids and was under 30 I'd be in the B Cup, so clearly those of us who are aging and reproducing are supposed to have chutes that wobble in the wind or something.
The instructions tell you that you can urinate and such while wearing it, which struck me as strange, but ok. They tell you to not have sex while wearing it, which is perhaps as far from my mind as possible when I'm nesting a little silicone alien in there. It also says not to share the Mooncup with other menstruating women. Um....gross. Seriously. Do they really have to put that in the instructions? What, do most users of the Mooncup live on a commune or something?
I decided to give it a go. I cleaned it, headed for the bathroom, and nervously braced myself. Why nervously? Well, call me crazy, but unless it's a blood-supply laced part of Angus, a fiberglass OB tampon, or something powered by double-A batteries (what?), in general things don't go in there (previous IVF ultrasound wandings notwithstanding). It felt a little strange to think that a funnel was going in, but ok, I wanted to give it the old college try for the environment.
You're supposed to fold the silicone cup in half, then fold it again, then insert. You're ideally supposed to be squatting or sitting to do this, which is always fun when you're in a bathroom, but I continued to be prepared. I squatted, feeling not unlike a tribal native about to do the African Anteater Ritual, and folded my cup. I folded again. I headed for insertion.
And seeing as I'm flooded with hormones wrecking havoc on my system, the damn thing got stuck.
I removed it, put some water on the sides, and tried again.
This time it worked.
It's a very, very strange sensation when the cup finally passes what I assume is the pubic bone and unfolds. I felt like Mary Poppins was opening her little umbrella in there, you can almost hear it unfolding and feel the sides suction to you. But the fit was good (I guess I do have a vaginal Grand Canyon in there after all), and I didn't feel the cup once it was in place.
I had some problems with the stem. The instructions aren't clear as to how far the thing is supposed to go up, and I was unnerved by it looking like a drinking straw popping out of my hooch. I pushed it in further. Then further.
Then I panicked.
I pictured it disappearing up inside of me. I would be the new urban legend, Richard Gere and his gerbils would be superceded by me in the ER, crying and telling people not to tell anyone, while the health professionals would gather round my X-ray and laugh like Dr. Hibbert and say "Homer? Looks like your little funnel has wound up somewhere near your lungs. It's ok, at least when you breathe you'll sound like you have internal bagpipes! Ah he he he." (that last laugh part should sound like Dr. Hibbert laughing in your head. I'm just trying to help the image here.) I know this isn't possible, the uterus will stop anything from heading in there, and the cervix usually is only the size of a pinhole. I was being unreasonable. The Mooncup was not going to disappear. Still, I felt freaked out.
So I walked around with the stem sticking out a bit.
It kinda' hurt.
I decided to revise my approach, suck it up, and be a big girl.
I pushed the stem in further until I couldn't feel it when I walked.
Bingo.
After about 4 hours, I decided the time had come for the next stage-I needed to drain and clean it. You're supposed to pull the stem sideways to break the seal, or else do as Erin suggested and use a finger down the side of it to stop the suction while using your pelvic floor to push it out. I decided to go for option A, pulling the stem sideways. I started to pull.
Nothing happened.
I pulled more.
The damn thing was not giving.
I realized that the thing was suctioned, so I angled it so that air could stop the suction. That worked. It started to give, and I had a weird sensation of a drain being pulled out of a bathtub as it came out.
It really wasn't messy at all, and there is something perversely interesting at being able to note how much blood you've lost ("Oh, it's only a 2.5cc day is it? Rock on!") They don't prepare you for the fact that the blood congeals into one big clot though, so if you use this Mooncuppy thing then be prepared for that. I rinsed out the cup thoroughly with some soap and hot water and re-inserted.
Later in the day, unnerved by the image of bathwater swirling down a drain, I tried method B. I have to say that Erin's method of using a finger and/or using your vaginal muscles to push it out is the way to go. It's much easier, doesn't feel uncomfortable, and eases the Dr. Hibbert panic.
On the whole I like the thing. I didn't leak, there really isn't any mess, and you honestly forget it's in there. It definitely beats having to lug around tampons (who am I kidding, I don't go anywhere) and it's nice to go to bed at night and know that you're not going to be getting up a lot to change tampons/pads. I'll continue using it.
Sorry if this was all TMI, but the web seems a bit low on info about these things and I figured maybe you wanted to know how it worked.
The things that I'll do for you.
-H.
PS-To S in NYC (didn't know if you wanted to be anonymous, so thought I would err on the safe side!) I got the two gorgeous blankets today. Thank you so much. The babies are moving from swaddling to blankets during the day now, and these are perfect for them. Thank you, they're beautiful!
1
"It also says not to share the Mooncup with other menstruating women."
Who?? Why?? ... I ... *lost for words*
"Ah he he he" - I totally had the Dr Hibbert laugh in my head!
Posted by: Amanda at November 09, 2007 11:56 AM (HIMHu)
2
....uhmmm....
*ahem*
Right.
OK then...
Posted by: ~Easy at November 09, 2007 12:17 PM (WdRDV)
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LOL Very funny - but, to be somehat serious, also very useful. Thanks for letting us know how things went and worked... maybe I'll try it.
I'm on a guilt trip from reading all the environmental articles yesterday.
Posted by: Hannah at November 09, 2007 12:47 PM (lUH62)
4
OK - so a question for people who have dared to try this. Is this workable in a public bathroom? As in, where you really don't want to have to carry it to the sink and stuff?
Posted by: Hannah at November 09, 2007 12:48 PM (lUH62)
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hmmm, I always wondered about these, I suppose it would work well for those days when you just don't know whether the mini/regular/giant bichon frise is suitable!!!
Posted by: Super Sarah at November 09, 2007 12:59 PM (rRa5H)
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Helen, I must tell you I am not anywhere close to a crunchy granola kind of girl. But your post yesterday had me reading all about the cup, and now today, well, I'm thinking about purchasing one.
I second the question about public restrooms.
Also, what if you're in a bathroom (say, my bathroom) and the toilet is in it's own closet far from the sink?
These things I wonder.
Posted by: wRitErsbLock at November 09, 2007 01:38 PM (+MvHD)
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I've tried this and at first I liked it too. Two things changed my mind. When one day it indeed did get stuck up there and I was in tears for about an hour trying to push the thing out. I was an experienced user at this point so not sure what happened. The public bathroom thing is a nightmare. Not usually a problem you can time it to be near home, but this is always not possible. After awhile I was just getting way too intimate with my bodily fluids and decided I needed a more hands off approach.
Posted by: Judi at November 09, 2007 01:50 PM (W87Xx)
8
too funny! Nice to know how those things worked - I always did wonder. While I am trying to be more eco-friendly I don't see myself trying this one.
Posted by: Sara at November 09, 2007 02:09 PM (xYSuN)
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Yeah, that whole 'sharing' thing...well, there are a lot of idiots out there in the world, and after watching hours of reality television I could totally see this happening with some mother/daughter situation. Gross.
This has really got me intrigued. I might have to give it a go.
Posted by: Teresa at November 09, 2007 02:10 PM (desXb)
10
It is possible to use it in a public bathroom or place where the sink and toilet aren't close together - you just wipe the top edges with toilet paper before re-inserting. You wouldn't want to do that every time but it's fine for day-time or times when you just can't get to a sink.
Posted by: martha at November 09, 2007 02:22 PM (ySZ2x)
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Thanks for the info. It has reaffirmed that I will NOT be using it.
Don't share it with other women???? No way! That made me think of high school, when several girls I knew would share colored contact lenses. Disgusting.
Posted by: Dotty at November 09, 2007 02:29 PM (KJE2B)
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"Don't share it with other menstruating women"
It's not so much the warning as the fact that they have to give the warning. You know someone shared at some point and there was hell to pay.
Thanks for the review. I might have to consider it. I didn't have a period for 18 months thanks to breastfeeding but holy crap, now it's like the Amazon. It was never like this before. I might have to try. But if it gets stuck, can I call you crying for help?
Posted by: donna at November 09, 2007 02:33 PM (Kco5r)
13
This is timely as I've been considering going this route myself. I appreciate your candor!
Posted by: nikoline at November 09, 2007 02:36 PM (oeg8y)
14
The public restroom thing is a non-issue. The cup can hold 1 oz of liquid, and a woman loses approximately 2 oz over the course of her whole period. Which means you can leave it in for 12 hours -- so empty it in the morning and again when you get home from work. I've left it in for nearly 16 hours when not close to home with no problems -- it's made of medical grade silicone, so there is no chance of TSS. And while rinsing in water may be preferable when emptying and reinserting, it's not a requirement. As long as your hands are clean, you can empty it and reinsert it immediately, since the outside is rarely messy and you're just putting it back where it came from. Which means that if you were in a public restroom situation, it wouldn't be a nightmare at all.
Obviously I'm a believer -- I've had mine for six months and it's saved me nearly $100 in tampons, allowed me to get rid of my period underwear (no leaks!), and kept a couple hundred tampon applicators out of landfills. And having to attend to my period only twice a day is almost as awesome as not having a period at all.
Posted by: mshavisham at November 09, 2007 04:22 PM (ZoImQ)
15
I've been trying use Insteads (a similar but throw-away version of Mooncup) but sometimes they leak. I don't know if it's because sometimes I don't put it in the right way or they just aren't as good.
The Mooncup looks completely different in shape; I'll give it a try! Thanks for the tip!
Posted by: The other Amber at November 09, 2007 05:18 PM (zQE5D)
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"Don't share it with other menstruating women"
No one shared. This is the twisted mind of Lawyers At Work.
Since I. . .no longer have my period I will just watch in fascination.
Posted by: Margi at November 09, 2007 05:29 PM (wSEpS)
17
You can trim the stem! I had to trim mine down to nothing because it poked so badly. YOu just need to grab the bottom of it and pull.
I had a horrible accident last period. I have VERY strong PC muscles, and I was coughing and I popped the suction et voila! The bloodiest mess my jeans have ever seen. It had been in about 12 hours at that point. Not fun, but that is the only time I've had it happen. I love the thing.
Posted by: Dani at November 09, 2007 06:29 PM (aWAie)
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Great information! Thank you! I love knowing about this. I have used Instead in the past and this is a great alternative to that.
Thanks!
Posted by: Keri at November 09, 2007 07:23 PM (/r5gv)
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I think you may have converted me. I have quite a few years of periods before me and tampons are damn expensive!
Posted by: Veronica at November 09, 2007 09:23 PM (jO8QI)
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For better or worse, Helen, your posts sure stimulate the imagination. I now know more about your, uh, personal dimensions than I really should know about another woman. Hell, I don't even have that much information about my wife's monthly nasties, she just considers it her personal business. That's fine with me.
Posted by: diamond dave at November 09, 2007 09:32 PM (7wEXd)
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I can't get past the non poking stem part. I trimmed it down a great bit, but I'm totally afraid to trim it off, because they tell you not to. I'm like you, afraid I'll end up being talked about at the ER Christmas party.
And yeah, squatting is the only way to go.
Posted by: statia at November 09, 2007 09:58 PM (lHsKN)
22
Oh.
Good.
Lord.
First you warn me about the, errrrr, changes that occur in Lady Towne with getting all good and pregnant and stuff, which I was very grateful for.
But this?!?
NO. Ah, ummmm...can't. Nope.
Posted by: watson at November 10, 2007 01:58 AM (PQSFi)
Posted by: kenju at November 10, 2007 04:37 AM (TiGru)
24
No thank you. Not for me. I had my face scrunched up the entire time I was reading this. I don't need to be poking around down there, that is what my husband is for.
Posted by: Lukie at November 10, 2007 01:53 PM (WXIEq)
25
I tried one of these for awhile (a few years ago) and while it seemed pretty neat at first, I had too many instances of lots of blood on my hand while dumping it. I'm not squeamish, it was just a lot of clean-up detail and I got tired of it.
It was fun to read your review of it though! Brought back memories.
Posted by: Gabriella at November 10, 2007 08:45 PM (5/LCh)
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Helen..congrats on getting your Mooncup. I've been using my Diva cup for about 2 years and I'd NEVER go back to pads and plugs. I sooo don't miss leaks and messes and shelling out money every month for tampons. Not to be too TMI but my flow is very heavy most months, where I need both a pad and a plug and sometimes still have leaks..but with the Diva cup I never leak. Not even overnight. I have never had a problem with the stem poking me, I would think if it's poking you, either your girly bits are way more shallow than most and trimming is in order, or you aren't inserting it far enough. I sometimes use the Instead cups when my sweetie is in town and we want to be able to "get busy" while he's here...they work just as well if you insert them properly, but you definitely need to be comfortable with your body cuz you gotta reach up in there a lot farther to grab them and get them out. :O)
Posted by: JaxVenus at November 11, 2007 04:28 AM (Pc1ii)
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I use the Instead cups and have for years. I'm thisclose to getting the Diva Cup, though. The public restroom thing is what keeps me using the disposable cup.
Posted by: jen at November 11, 2007 05:20 PM (NcuXj)
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H, comments aren't turned on above, not sure you did that on purpose, but I wanted to say, just give her the gripe water. It doesn't do her any good to be screaming and it's AWFUL for you, so at this point whatever works is fair game. There's nothing wrong with gripe water, and she won't be like this for ever. Hang in there.
Posted by: thalia at November 11, 2007 05:40 PM (OW/Bx)
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also, for the above.... you are a mother, no measure good or bad. And like anyone who has a child you do your best. Sometimes my best isn't as good as it should be, but we are never bad. I agree, gripe water is just a surfactant to help expel the burps, its not really medication, just a digestive aid and it doesn't contain alcohol like in the old days when my mum fed a whole bottle to her little sister who reeled like a drunken sailor all night!
Posted by: Super Sarah at November 11, 2007 08:57 PM (rRa5H)
30
Sorry, I couldn't get a comment screen on the "pissholes" post -- have you talked to the babies' doctor about catnip tea? Can't get much more natural than that. It seems to break up belly and intestinal gas wonderfully and doesn't have any nasty stuff in it. And if there's any left over, you can have a cup yourself! Good luck.
Posted by: lambchop at November 12, 2007 02:21 AM (eWope)
31
How do they know when colic is colic and not something else, like a milk sensitivity or allergy (assuming they're on a milk-based formula)? That's always at the front of my mind since I was dealing with food allergies for two years before I found out about them. Have you tried switching formulas?
What do you think you're supposed to do when a baby is screaming incessantly? Of course you might have to walk away eventually for a break. That's not a parenting crime. Most mothers have had those frustrated moments although some may not admit it (and those who raised their children more than a few years ago may tell you that they're children never even cried. Yeah right, Mom.)
Posted by: paula at November 12, 2007 08:00 PM (CFGLq)
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Sorry posting on this one - same as others below. Just a quick note to say hang in there. Please don't feel bad - you are not a bad mom. My mom relayed a story to me about how every mother hits a screaming baby shut down point. When I was a baby I had been screaming and sceaming and screaming and finally my father came home from work and she just handed me over, said take her and then left the house. She laughs about it now but I know it must have been hard. x
Posted by: Lee at November 12, 2007 10:55 PM (84Iv0)
33
I hope you'll forgive me, but I'm going to violate a couple of rules here, both yours and mine. I have the feeling you wanted to close comments to the above post and goofed, and I really should honor that, but something tells me to say something anyway.
You aren't the first, and will not be the last, parent to have to walk away from their kids momentarily for control's sake. That does NOT make you a bad parent, just a human being with limits like the rest of us. The crappiest thing about love is that we have moments where something in us just wants to devour our young. I know, especially with teenagers. I've had moments where, having possessed a little less restraint or a little more alcohol, I honestly could have seriously hurt my children. My stepson used to push me so hard on being "the man of the house" that my wife had to physically restrain me from taking him outside and showing him who was boss. I've had to learn a lot of patience, and eat a lot of pride. There have definitely been times when I thought I didn't deserve a Father's day in my honor. But I can only do my best, love my kids even when they become assholes, and learn from my own mistakes. And you're right, babies crying can really push the nerves even though they are just precious little helpless things that don't know any better. You probably will have a hard time finding any other mother, especially a new one, that hasn't felt as you do at least once. Or any dad for that matter.
Just hang with it, do your best, DON'T turn down any help whether it be material or emotional, and feel free to vent about the trials of parenthood. Sometimes it really sucks, but the good times make it all worth while.
As usual, feel free to curse me if I step on toes or violated your blog commenting rules too badly. Maybe I'll have to send you something that YOU can use, as well (the twins seem well taken care of by many others). After all, we shouldn't forget about the mommies.
Posted by: diamond dave at November 13, 2007 01:55 AM (vlY8q)
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For the above post as well.
hang in there - being a Mom is tough. Even when the kids are 9 & 11 (as mine are). You will *still* feel overwhelmed and like you are doing a bad job- even when you are NOT.
You are tired - they are new to the world. don't worry, it will all work out. You are a fabulous mother, Helen. Peace be with you all...
Posted by: Richmond at November 13, 2007 02:26 AM (lAbP+)
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