Angus and I are, in some ways, similar in the way we think and behave. We're both fiery Aries, we're both stubborn, and we both can turn on the charm if the situation is right. It's fair to say that we are both completely mad about each other. But just like if you put two fires together they burn each other out, sometimes we do each other's heads in, too.

Lemme' explain.

******************************************

Angus had to go in to the office in London, while I got to work from home yesterday. Not only did he have to be there all day, but his pc is sick and visiting the PC doctor, so he was feeling restless. I, in the meantime, was parked on the couch with my laptop, surfing travel pages and options and trying to put the holiday together. My mobile rings.

It's Angus. "Have you checked Opodo.co.uk too?"

"I'll check them too."

"OK, bye!"

A short while later, the mobile rings. "What about Jamaica?"

"I'll add it to the search list."

"OK, bye!"

And still later, it's him again "Can you check on Cape Town? You know-just in case?"

"OK HONEY." I say through clenched teeth.

When he gets home it continues. We're still surfing pages trying to get everything to work.

"What if we check Traveljungle.com?" he asks.

"I did, but you have to have a US credit card to buy from them," I reply.

"Check it again, just in case."

Grr.

Then he takes a long phone call from his Mum, my head starts pounding, and I close it all down for bed.

When it comes to travel, I stress just as much as I do for trains. I like my shit to be prepared. I like every detail done, underlined, and crossed off. I don't like to linger for days before booking something, I'll put some hours into it and then I want an answer. I like my seats assigned, my cars hired, and my hotels putting chocolates on my pillow before I leave the house. I'm sure I'm not easy to deal with when I get like that, but I like my travel plans to be tight.

That's just how I roll.

The boy, on the other hand, takes his time before booking. Even this morning, he was still checking options-"What if we just book all our tickets as singles, and try to put them all together that way?"

No.

More.

Motherfucking.

Options.

OH MY GOD. Just...OH MY GOD. Let's just get on with this, I will pay £50 more if I have to right now, just let's book something!

We have at least gotten the major part of our travel booked, the London to Miami portion (with a layover in Montreal, because it saved us several hundred pounds and a few frayed tempers.) As of this morning I was lined up to book the Key West and Bahamas portions of the trip, but a monkey wrench has been thrown into that and now it looks like the Bahamas has been replaced by Jamaica.

I'll tell you what, though-this will have to be booked by tonight or my head will pop clean off.

(And ok-I'm actually very excited about the whole thing, so it's really fine.)

******************************************

We've been trying to alternate certain housechores, because we've been set in our ways for a while. As such, I've been the general Animal Caretaker. While we both take turns walking Gorby, the cats are almost completely taken care of by me in terms of feeding and litter changing. So Angus has agreed it's his turn to change the litter.

We agreed this a week ago.

Nothing has happened.

I have reminded him four times now. Maggie sits angrily in the hallway-Dude. Seriously, what the fuck? Do you hate me now? Do you not understand how delicate I am? What about my needs?

Last night Angus was brushing his teeth. I picked up Maggie and walked up to him.

"Hello Maggie," he said through his mouthful of toothpaste. "How are you?"

"I'd be better, Dad," she said in a voice astoundingly like my own, "if you'd change my goddamn cat box."

He nods. "Remind me in the morning."

This morning he's looking out the window. "Should I go to the gym now or go into London to get my pc?"

I rub my chin. "Hmmmm....oooh I know! You can change the cat litter! That'd be a good idea!"

He looks at me with daggers.

I swear I'm going to win this one.

Or rather, the cats will.

******************************************

Angus got a new toy. This new toy is designed to help you understand your home's energy consumption in terms of cost, energy generation, and carbon footprint. This has become his hot topic here, the carbon footprint. The only thing we really blow our footprint on is flights, and we're going to do one of those deals where you contribute to environmental sites based on the footprint you use up.

Anyway, this device. It arrived yesterday and he's been working it ever since. It was very popular with me, as I had a headache, was plowing through holiday websites, and felt very cranky in general last night, and there he was fiddling with this infernal thing which wouldn't. Stop. Beeping.

Refresh webpage with new options.

Beep beep beep beep beep. "Oh my God!" he exclaims. "We're using 500 watts of electricity right now! What can we turn off?"

Oh, I dunno. That infernal machine you're playing with?

This continued all night. The machine went into every room with him as he turned things off and on to see readings and levels. When we went to bed he had the machine next to him. He turned the light on a number of times just to check what the reading was, up until the point where I lost my temper with him.

Love the man, hate the gadgets.

Then he made love to me, which I really needed. We haven't had the easiest of times recently, and while it's true that sometimes you just need a shag and sometimes you need a fuck, other times you really need the romance.

I got the romance.

Then the light went on so he could check his machine. "Since you're getting up anyway to go to to the toilet, I might as well check the reading."

Ah. True love.

"Don't turn the light on in the bathroom when you go!" he called to me, as I went to do the usual post-coital draining. "I want to monitor the meter!"

I fucking love this guy.

We may need some counselling.

Maybe they'll let us dress up like inflatable Sumo wrestlers and bounce around wrestling each other.

-H.

UPDATED-Cat boxes are cleaned. Maggie back on speaking terms with us. True love abounds.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 11:38 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
Post contains 1152 words, total size 7 kb.

1 That's just how I roll. As you roll, so too do I roll. Look: I grew up flying from California to New York every summer. That shit has to be PLANNED. It has to be nailed down and epoxied in place literally months in advance, and that set-in-stone-ness was required even more so back then, before e-tickets. Fuck up in the least bit, and you're spending a night or two in be-yoo-tiful downtown Detroit. You don't even want to know all the events I have overslept, or all the bills I have forgotten to pay, or all the errands I have forgotten to run. But the one thing I have never overslept is a date with a plane. I have never forgotten a confirmation number or a reservation code. When it comes to travel details, everything is checked not once not twice but approximately sixty times. And if I am nervous about it at all, sixty-THREE times. Guess whether Mark is at all like me in this regard. Oh, just GUESS. I feel your pain.

Posted by: ilyka at March 09, 2007 01:20 PM (l/ZiE)

2 Seriously, I feel better about my husband. He's the same way with the kitty litter and if I try and remind him, I totally become the bad guy. I've gotten so upset with him for neglecting the kitty litter that I've considered hiring our pet sitter to come in even while we're around.

Posted by: Minawolf at March 09, 2007 01:24 PM (svbR5)

3 My partner can bug the living sh*t out of me with phone call after phone call like that, especially when I am at work all day and she is at home, interrupting me at work. The romance and loving part can really help me put up with it all, though.

Posted by: amelia at March 09, 2007 03:04 PM (tZQUq)

4 Men and litter boxes. Must be some universal thing. I have seriously considered leaving a big pile of cat shit on his pillow, the only thing stopping me is the fact we share a bed-and well, you know how bad cat shit stinks. Sounds like you two are great for each other. Balance and all that. But dude, travel plans need to be written in STONE before a trip-does he just not understand this? ;-)

Posted by: Teresa at March 09, 2007 03:07 PM (EA2aZ)

5 Sadly, I am the one who doesn't clean the cat box often enough. But I'm still more of a cat lover than Husband to Be because he's pro-declawing and I will never ever be! I also love to dither before making travel plans because I'm always on the lookout for a better deal. And it takes me forever to put away laundry after doing it, which must drive HTB crazy although he never complains. Point being, I think I'm harder to live with than he is.

Posted by: felicity at March 09, 2007 03:34 PM (htE+1)

6 That's pretty funny. The Solomons don't wrestle with vacation plans...we just don't go. And I don't do gadgets, so the super-model Mrs. Solomon is happy about that...in fact, I don't even have a cell phone (although that hacks her off every once in a while).

Posted by: Solomon at March 09, 2007 03:51 PM (al5Ou)

7 Send him over here next. I'm sure Storm and Eclipse would appreciate some new litter...LOL

Posted by: kenju at March 09, 2007 04:24 PM (L8e9z)

8 I'm glad the catbox got changed before the kitties decided to be really mad and left a little "present" on your pillow... or in your shoe. mwhaaa haa haa. Has Angus not figured out that all his "testing" of the gadget is a little anti-productive? Just sayin'...

Posted by: sue at March 09, 2007 04:55 PM (WbfZD)

9 We're going through the same cat box vs the husband battle in this household. I'll have to lay the guilt trip on with some added incentives tonight after going downstairs and seeing the state of the poor thing. I am glad to hear that your litter box situation was taken care of before the cats started pooping in shoes. (That's the threat I use whenever the husband is mean to the cats by "playing" with them or whenever he doesn't change their little box. "They're totally going to poop in your shoes! I even shhowed them which ones were your favorites earlier today just in case they needed to know." They've never actually pooped in shoes or pooped anywhere they shouldn't poop ... but he doesn't know that.

Posted by: Michele at March 09, 2007 05:12 PM (5VGFA)

10 You crack me up.Seriously. I loved this. Thanks.

Posted by: Amber (the other one) at March 09, 2007 06:26 PM (zQE5D)

11 God, you probably wouldn't be able to stand me when planning a vacation. I confess I tend to have a 'whatever' attitude towards such planning. Except for the flights, those I am picky about. And I admit that I'd be as slow as Angus to change a catbox, even though I don't own a cat and would never allow something that shits indoors into my house, unless it's toilet trained (and FLUSHES). And speaking of flushing I don't care if you turn on the bathroom light or not while I'm in bed as long as you CLOSE THE GODDAM DOOR SO I CAN'T HEAR YOUR BODILY FUNCTIONS. Sorry,personal issue and pet peeve around here. BTW I do know the difference between making love and fucking, but what's the difference between having a shag and having a fuck? Just curious.

Posted by: diamond dave at March 09, 2007 10:04 PM (jofqp)

12 I am completely hopeless at planning. However, I am fortunate enough to have an anal-retentive auntie (yes, she would take that as a compliment), an experienced traveller who gladly planned our honeymoon in London. She gave us a packet with a complete itinerary, tube schedules, museum open hours, directions on how to get anywhere from the hotel, how much to tip, the works. I wish it was always that easy And as for cat litter -- you might not want to let Angus know that the've invented a gadget for that, too -- self cleaning litter pans.

Posted by: maolcolm at March 09, 2007 11:58 PM (Up5J4)

13 you'll be in Miami? When? I'd love to meet you two for coffee or something...drop me an email.

Posted by: Amanda at March 10, 2007 04:16 PM (SPqjD)

14 This post describes my world. The details are different, but the dynamics are the same. Thanks for the candid peek at real life.

Posted by: stellalafayette at March 10, 2007 04:53 PM (lxjiv)

15 Maybe they'll let us dress up like inflatable Sumo wrestlers and bounce around wrestling each other. Heh. That sounds like fun even if you don't need therapy. And you'd absolutely hate vacationing with me. I do month-long driving trips, and I don't decide where I'm going until the night before. I love the open road, and I like not knowing where I'm going to be staying from one day to the next. My solution to the cat-box problem? I got one of those ones with the automatic rake. It's a total piece of junk, and probably a fire hazard to boot, but it's still better than scooping it myself.

Posted by: Dan at March 12, 2007 09:05 AM (I04u+)

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