When we first laid eyes on our perfect little house, we knew that it was the perfect little house for us.

And the emphasis on that has always been with the word "little".

We live in this area of England because it gives us:

1) Easy access to Heathrow for his kids to come visit
2) Easy access into London for work, which does dictate we come in to the office at least once a week
3) Easy enough to commute into either Waterloo or Victoria in south central London for work
4) Enough distance that we don't get drop-ins from his mom (I love her. Really I do. I just don't love her dropping in on a Sunday afternoon when I'm planning my new rendition of Afternoon Get My Freak On. Plus, I like notice so that I can vacuum. We all have an anal retentive fidget, mine is preferring that the living room doesn't resemble the Dust Bowl.)

So yeah.

We actually do need to stay in this area. Which is ok, because I honestly love this part of the country. Sure, it's not very hilly. True, we're nowhere near the water. Yes, it is a hit-or-miss kind of county in which some towns are amazing and perfect and some towns are shit.

When we found our perfect little house - and I'm not trying to be cutesy here, I simply love this house - it had a strange price. It was in the range that we were willing to pay for a house, but it was heading towards the upper side of the range. Still, we couldn't understand how our house was priced where it was - a fully detached home with a massive and very well maintained garden (or at least it was until we came along, anyway) in a quiet and 100% safe commuter-belt area outside of London, perched as it is on the end of a country lane in the middle of nowhere. It should actually have been priced higher than it was. It was as though there was something too good to be true. Although I could have done without unclogging ancient drains and the whole serious smorgasbord of wildlife that is Mumin's continuous banquet, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the bad news to come out.

But there isn't any bad news. The house was simply priced to sell, and sell fast (the widow who lived here decided it was time to move out and move on, and that time was right fucking now.) The house is just as it said on the label. It's brick and glass and has 100% of the RDA of riboflavin. So we sat back and decided to enjoy it for a year, while we decided what to do to it in terms of extensions and removations.

The house is wonderful, but it does need modernizing. The two toilets often require multiple flushes, screamed threats involving use as petunia planters, promises of virgin sacrifices, or all of the above to clear the bowl. The kitchen is a whole new death-defying description of butt-fucking ugly - tile countertops, a non-working kitchen fan, and about the stupidest layout for anyone that actually cooks. It's such a joy. There's only one shower in the house (this is a problem, especially with a 15 year-old girl around). There are only three bedrooms, and this is three bedrooms too little as we need one for Angus and I, one for Melissa, and one for Jeff, but unfortunately Jeff's bedroom doubles as Angus' study. And now we need more bedrooms for the new arrivals (although they will not only share a room but will share a crib for some time. Apparently twins do better if they sleep together for a while, as that's all they knew while they were still in the Big House.) In addition, both Angus and I largely work from home, so we need a study each (we really do need a study each, as we are often on different conference calls and you can't do them from the same room). And there are only two closets in the whole house, there is absolutely no storage anywhere.

Even without the babies on the way an extension was always in the works. We're already out of space. We just wanted to live here for a while and see what it was like, what we would want to change, what we felt needed improving. It's just now we have a little more pressure. We know the extension won't be ready in time for the babies' arrival, which is now about 4 months away. Unfortunately, Jeff will lose his bedroom to the twins while Angus takes my study (which is the former dining room-we don't see much use for a formal dining room these days) and Jeff gets the sofa bed, but Jeff will get the bribe of allowing the dog to sleep in the living room with him and the promise that he gets first pick of the new bedrooms. We think he'll be ok with that.

We contacted two architects last week and had them come round for discussions and quotes. They're both RIBA certified, which is important to us, and both locals. Many discussions were had.

Angus and I have been saving money for a long time. When we were still living in the various rented homes, we chucked well over a third of our monthly salaries into savings, just so that we could apply it to a house someday. Now that we have said house, said savings go to the mortgage, but we built up a nest egg when we could. That nest egg, augmented with other things, is the foundation for the extension. We are nowhere near rich, either of us, and after the twins start day care we'll be riding the strict budget wave for a while. But we have been saving up for years to have the home that we want.

We want to expand the house to:

- 5 bedrooms
- At least 2 bathroooms, preferably 3
- Build out the kitchen and living room
- Move the stairway (currently, it's right inside the front door. The hallway is tight, dark, and has no room for storage)
- Move the garage, or at the very least re-roof it with an eye to building a room on top of it someday
- Re-do the exterior. Some brainiac had the idea at one point to cover the brick with pebbledash, which we hate and which is not in great condition.
- Prepare the house for solar energy, both water and PV
- New windows (ours are single-glazed and thus allow heat to escape), a new hot water heater (ours is many years old and just stops working periodically) and a new heating system (see: water heater)

Angus and I will do the kitchens and bathrooms ourselves, from fitting the countertops and appliances/shower to tiling. Believe it or not, we like doing that kind of thing. Angus has already put in a few kitchens and bathrooms at other houses, and I too was part of a kitchen installation in Sweden (also, strangely enough I really enjoy tiling, which makes me one weird chick.) We'll also rip out the last remaining carpets in the house and install wooden floorboards ourselves, as well as various other bits and pieces throughout the house.

The architects both said that the sum of money we had would do the job. Just. Which makes me feel very uncomfortable, as building works generally never seem to go according to plan and I hate the idea that we'll need to up our mortgage while simultaneously wiping out our entire savings. They also agreed that everything we're planning will increase the sales value of the house, which is also important.

Then came the details.

It will take us over 6 months alone just to get planning permission from the council to build our house. Every council has requirements for building and extending of homes. Councils are notorious for being picky, difficult to deal with, slow, aggravating, expensive, and petty. Everyone I know who has had work done has a horror story to tell. The architects warned us that even though all the work we would like is fair, and since not one of our neighbors is anywhere near where we'd plan to build so there shouldn't be an issue, that undoubtedly the council would find some reason to reject our plans.

Time-wise, it comes down to this-it'll take about 6 months to get planning permission, so around the end of the year we maybe will have a "go". Then we wait for the builders. Builders are in huge demand here, and all of them have waiting lists a mile long. Not only that, but they are heart-stoppingly expensive. If you don't want to pay their prices, fine. They'll go to the next person on the list, then, have a nice life. Once we get a builder, the actual construction will take about 4-5 months. Then it's many more months for Angus and I to finish things off.

This means that building will start next Spring, whereupon the entire back of the house will be ripped out. Gone. Think flapping plastic sheets in the wind. And there are only two rooms of the house that will remain untouched, so Angus, myself, and two infants will be living in those two rooms (my study and the guest room) while the entire home is attacked. And Angus, I have a feeling he's not going to handle the mess and stress of living on a building site very well. He's a fantastic boy and I love him madly, but I can already see the depression coming our way.

And to top it all off, one quote came back from one of the architects. It was £50,000 over what we'd budgeted.

We're going with the other architect, whose quote was substantially lower (but is still so high it makes me want to drink. Or sit and breathe into a paper bag. Or both). But his quote was lower as he doesn't project manage the building site, so it means that we'll be project managing the house building for the most part, along with the construction engineer from the builder. If I'm not back to work yet, I will try to manage a lot of it (and actually, I'm honestly interested in managing aspects of it.) I'll just need to buy the twins some hard hats and teach them how to efficiently use nail guns, I think*.

Right about now, you're maybe saying "Jesus, woman, just move house." Or maybe you already zoned out, bored, and are surfing the web to pick out the perfect eyebrow liner (psst-Benefit Brow Zing. That's what you seek.) But we can't do that either.

England has some of the most shocking house prices I've ever seen, ever. If you're a fresh-faced, happy young couple I don't know how you get on the property ladder, I really don't. Houses are ball-numbingly expensive. And interest rates have gone up, so the repayment is also hard. Since moving into this house over a year ago, houses in our area have skyrocketed in price. This is good news, I suppose-it means we've already made money on our house in under 14 months. But the bad news is that houses in our area that were selling for around £450-500,000 are now well over that. Two bedroom homes are selling for £350,000. Some houses around the corner from us were just listed for sale. The gardens are so tiny that if you stand in the backyard and squint you'll almost be able to see a blade or two of grass, and the rooms in the house are humble. The smaller of the two houses is going for £560k. The larger one is nearly touching the £600k mark. Combine the cost of a house with things like moving costs, stamp duty, estate agent fees, etc and the truth is, we'll save money by staying here and simply extending. We'll save a LOT of money by staying put. Or, to put it simply, we don't know that we can afford to move now.

So the stress will be on.

I'm calling the architect as soon as I post this, and the game will be afoot.

Wish us luck.

We're going to need it.

-H.

*To stave off any of those kind of comments, if you think I'm even remotely serious about giving my kids nail guns then you're not very keyed up about me. I'm nervous about giving my 45 year-old boy a nail gun, never mind two little beings that can't yet hold their heads upright.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 08:12 AM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
Post contains 2146 words, total size 12 kb.

1 Best of luck. Prices in Ireland are ridiculous and have been for some time. I'm 34, single and there is no way that a bank is going to give me a 400k mortgage for a 3-bed terrace house - which is about average here at the moment. I'm just waiting for the crash...

Posted by: Elisa at May 24, 2007 09:27 AM (AlPvn)

2 I've nicknamed my house The Project That Never Ends... or, The Neverending Project - the first one has a better ring to it, though. I guess that's one of the joys of property ownership. Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great. You guys always do.

Posted by: Hannah at May 24, 2007 11:29 AM (5w+E2)

3 I'm in a very similar situation, but I won't get into it here. Suffice it to say that I'm right there with you on most of it, but I have one advantage. I'm plugged in to City Hall so I can grease the permit process.

Posted by: ~Easy at May 24, 2007 11:30 AM (X+de8)

4 I work for a residential design/architecture firm in Florida. Right now, our primary business is doing fantastic remodel designs for people becaue the house market is weird, and it's more cost-effective to gut and re-do than to buy elsewhere. Good luck with the living in a construction zone. Very few of our clients attempt it, and almost all of them end up renting an apartment because of the stress of getting up in your pajamas for a cup of coffee only to find the construction workers already in the kitchen! They're sending me to school to learn how to design houses and work with AutoCAD. So, not that I can be a great help yet, as you go down this road, maybe I can offer some help. Especially once the fall semester begins and I'm back in school.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at May 24, 2007 12:19 PM (+MvHD)

5 Unfortunately, lots of us feel this way about our homes. It will be a difficult time for your family but it will be SOOO worth it when it is done!!

Posted by: Jamie at May 24, 2007 12:20 PM (z+8LV)

6 I'm not trying to rain on your parade but please realize that your ability to devote time to home improvement projects (the kitchen and bathrooms you plan to do yourself) will be severely compromised when you have twins to take care of. Instead of entire evenings and weekends to devote to projects, for the first few years you might only be able to grab an extra hour here and there. My son is 3 1/2 and I'm just starting to get back into doing projects around the house. I've just started looking at the costs involved in remodeling a basement and I'm astounded. But, like you, we got a deal on the house so I think we could easily get a home equity loan to cover the costs which will increase the value of the house by at least the cost of the new basement.

Posted by: paula at May 24, 2007 01:13 PM (FlZPw)

7 Just reading this makes me so stressed I want to barf. And we don't even own a house yet! Best of luck to you!

Posted by: geeky at May 24, 2007 01:31 PM (ziVl9)

8 Oh, house remodeling... lovely work, indeed. Granted, here in Texas (Austin, that is) houses can be somewhat reasonable, but dealing with the heat, the snakes and spiders, and add in a few hippies... and, the whole she-bang can be as aggravating as a pimple in the middle of your back that you can't reach. Add in some pregnancy hormones, and nesting instincts- and, you have a pissed off, swollen-ankles maniac.

Posted by: Andria at May 24, 2007 01:44 PM (Oo4k1)

9 Best of luck, and let me know when my room is ready so I can hop the first flight over.

Posted by: Teresa at May 24, 2007 02:27 PM (3z3hy)

10 I do love a good project myself and am not afraid to get my hands dirty. I totally suck at tile though, mostly because I can't see straight.

Posted by: cursingmama at May 24, 2007 03:03 PM (PoQfr)

11 We just did all the windows (1895 Victorian Farmhouse? Psh. It had double-hung single paned. Might as well throw the windows open winter/spring/summer/fall. Great - HUGE - energy suck.) Those house prices take my breath away. Add in the difference between the dollar and the pound and *I'm* breathing into a paper bag. You two will take it easy on yourselves, please? You are tackling some of the most stressful elements of life SIMULTANEOUSLY. I predict you two will need to give each other lots of massages and warm baths. Please hug each other. Often. I feel for you. P.S. I clicked on the pebbledash link. And I fell in love with Paul O'Grady. *snerk*

Posted by: Margi at May 24, 2007 03:40 PM (DwLKz)

12 Good luck. It will be stressful, but you two can handle it... or should I say, you four?

Posted by: sue at May 24, 2007 04:52 PM (WbfZD)

13 I am so disapointed that you aren't REALLY going to let the little ones play with nail guns! Sheez, I thought you were way more open-minded than that! I will now go look for blogs about eye-liner!

Posted by: grace at May 24, 2007 05:31 PM (SlJYu)

14 Having gone through this myself, I have one suggestion: scale back. Simplify. Reduce the size, reduce the numbers of rooms, reduce your stress. Five bedrooms, three baths == endless cleaning, endless picking-up-of-clutter, endless wiping, endless bulb changes, endless repairs, endless furnishings, endless window washing == endless expense and endless preoccupation. Go simpler. Keep it as simple as you can possibly manage and you'll be happier (and have more money) for a long, long time. Redd.

Posted by: redd at May 24, 2007 06:06 PM (LEwr1)

15 oh dear LOOOOOOORD. What a mess. Prices are ridiculous everywhere. But at least HERE we have an abundance of builders that keeps prices/ waits down. I can't wait to see the twins in little hardhats :-) I would disagree that you should simplify your plans. Bite the bullet now, and you'll have a home you can enjoy for years to come and grow into nicely (as babies do grow :-) ) Especially as I know 5 bedrooms is really the bare minimum you need with Angus' 2 kids and the twins and your work. Good luck!

Posted by: caltechgirl at May 24, 2007 06:23 PM (r0kgl)

16 Ohh Helen I adore the picture and you were beautiful before you were PG and are positively stunning now! In my mind you are a chamelion, you can dress up or down and still look great! I am happy things are moving along with you and the boy and the house, Awesome!

Posted by: Cheryl at May 24, 2007 09:47 PM (msF2q)

17 Like Hannah, we live in The Project Never Ends house. When we bought the house it needed work and we loved it for that. We both love to rip things apart and put it back together. The house was always too small and there's no room to expand. So, now, we're working on finishing the house so we can sell it. It's kinda sad to think that we'll never really get to enjoy our hard work. On the other hand, it'll be nice making a good profit off of our work. Good luck with yours! Things will get more complicated once the babies are here. If you work together you'll manage.

Posted by: Michele at May 25, 2007 02:49 PM (fcaMV)

18 Go ahead and add 30% of what they quoted you in cost and add half or double the amount of time they told you it would take. You may think I am kidding or being very conservative - check back to these comments next year and see where you are at. But also - good luck! Try to have fun with it even though I know it is stressful. And maybe you will have more luck than I or anyone else I know has had with major home improvements.

Posted by: Sara at May 25, 2007 03:59 PM (Cnzvq)

19 I have no clue how that housing market can be like that. Nearly a million dollars for a 2 bedroom house? That boggles me. Are these for unattached houses, or are even attached houses going for this rate? We couldn't even QUALIFY for a mortgage that high. Well atleast you love your house, right?

Posted by: Dani at May 26, 2007 04:50 PM (CD1jr)

20 I don't know. The kids could totally do some baseboard work. Lay them on their sides on a towel with the nail gun. After they punch each nail, have Gorby pull the towel a short distance further along the wall (you may need Maggie and Munin to handle one twin's towel) It can work! Really!

Posted by: Z. Hendirez at May 28, 2007 12:33 PM (ceOV5)

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