Christmas came in a flurry of presents and laughter, and New Years wasn't too far behind. It's great being here with my family, Melissa and Jeff have effortlessly slid into the fabric here and the babies are the very center of the universe, but overall Angus and I are really suffering.
The plane ride went better than expected - not only did the babies basically sleep through both of the flights, but we managed to secure an upgrade on the long flight from Amsterdam to Seattle (thanks to the purser of the flight being a good friend of my family's), and they cleared out a part of the business class section for us.
Heaven.
Nora went ballistic while we had to go through Immigrations, which didn't help our moods nor the moods of the egomaniacal types stamping the passports, but she gave up her tirade against the world by the time we had gotten our luggage.
We're having a good time, but Angus and I are so sleep-deprived it's reached new lows of hell. Not even when I was pregnant or on 3-hour feeding schedules was I this tired. My family's house is large but accommodating this many people is hard, so the babies are in our room. And the babies, they're furious that their schedule has been fucked with and they're in a new place. We're trying to be as consistent as possible with their schedule from home, but my whole "Looky here, my babies sleep through the night!" shtick is gone. The babies slept about 3 hours the first night we arrived, so Angus and I got about 3 hours. They're not hungry (we tried feeding them), they just want to scream. The night before last was so bad that I caved and simply pulled Nora into bed with us, risking Angus' displeasure. She fell asleep right away, her softspot twirling beneath my chin like a buttercup test.
The night before last was so agonizing I literally felt like dying. I'm a legendary insomniac and I've never felt so shit before in my life. We're inhaling coffee during the day and begging the sleep gods to let the babies sleep all night. So far, no dice. Nowhere close. We've moved the babies' cot into our adjoining en suite and still we can't get any sleep. Last night at 10 pm I felt like crying - Angus was snoring and I knew I had only hours until the babies kicked it off again. We try to stick to our schedule from home, but I can only imagine what kind of fresh hell it's going to be when we return back home and have to re-work the schedule again.
Combined with the fact that we woefully underestimated how much formula to bring, and we're now blending our SMA Gold formula from England with Enfamil, we're clearly overwhelmed. Hopefully the mixture doesn't upset their stomachs too much. I think a part of me even hopes that it'll help with Nora's colic, although if it does I'll have a big problem importing the stuff.
In the meantime, while it's lovely to be here and my family is amazing, but I can't even enjoy Target. We walked around it like fucking zombies, I couldn't even tell what was what. I'm completely mental and incoherent just now - I actually fell asleep at the table, proving that a National Lampoons special is indeed in my future. I just need sleep. Angus and I feel like we're dying.
In terms of holidays, so far it's a nice one, but definitely not a relaxing one.
Here's to hoping the situation improves once we get to Whistler.
-H.
1
Silly girl, going on a big trip like that with the babies. It is way too soon for something like that. I do believe this was an error of judgment. Stay home after this until they are way older. Don't be traipsing around the globe with them for a while yet.
Sorry you are going through this. I really feel for you.I really hope that you'll all be alright.
Posted by: Irene at January 02, 2008 05:19 PM (RL+iu)
2
Irene, I'm sure you mean well, but seeing as how they've already commenced the trip and are struggling with its effects, I don't know if it is the most apt time for such admonishments.
I'm crossing my fingers you and Angus are able to catch some serious sleep soon. Any chance your family could watch the babes for an afternoon while you nap?
Posted by: Kimberly at January 02, 2008 05:38 PM (v57BG)
3
You're doing the best you can - and you know what? It's a damn fine job. I'm sorry you're having such a rough vacation but so thankful you're getting to spend time with your family. Spending time with loved ones is never an error of judgment. And yay for the upgrade to business.
Hope 2008 lets up on you a bit and lets you sleep.
Posted by: April at January 02, 2008 05:39 PM (xEWJq)
4
Way to shoot someone in the back Irene.
I feel for you honey. I never had to travel as far as you to be with family but I remember what a bitch it was to just go 4 hours north with one baby. I hope that they begin to settle soon-and I trust they will. It just takes them time, but I know how desperate you must feel.
As far as when you get home, it may take a few days for them to adjust back, but I think you will be surprised at how they cope. Babies are amazing like that.
I am thinking of you with lots of love. For what it is worth I think you are doing a great job.
Posted by: Teresa at January 02, 2008 05:54 PM (Cdn+c)
5
I always go a little mental when travelling with kids. I call it my lack of sleep delirium. My girl is 4 y.o. and is just now travelling well. Even at 3 she would SCREAM at night and just not sleep well by the 7th night you get delirious and think "she has to sleep now she is so sleep deprived." All will be fine after a few days home. I love, love, love the short hair by the way.
Posted by: Judi at January 02, 2008 06:24 PM (1Uf+Z)
Posted by: Judi at January 02, 2008 06:26 PM (1Uf+Z)
7
Irene - my family travels. Travel is hugely important to us as a family and as individuals. It will also be important for my children - this is the first of many, many trips. Everyone parents differently, but for me I won't be someone who feels that having babies means the end of travelling, we just have to get our routines down, which we haven't yet. It brings my family closer together - my father has been over to see us several times since the babies were born, coming his way was the very least we could do to show how very much we all love each other.
Yes, I wish the sleep patterns were easier.
No, I do not regret coming.
As for the other comments, thanks for the support - my addled brain loves you too.
Posted by: Helen at January 02, 2008 06:44 PM (J+ZKQ)
8
Irene-- my parents started me early, my first cross country flight was at 3 months old. I got used to it. Before I was 3, I was in a small plane piloted by my dad and asked when I could fly the plane. He said when I could reach the controls, so I grabbed at the yoke! Kids can fly and there's no reason to give up traveling, especially when travel is a GREAT way to learn and when the rest of the family enjoys it so immensely.
More on topic: Helen-- good luck with the trip! I hope you can get plenty of sleep SOON and get back to your normal levels of Target enjoyment.
Posted by: Marian at January 02, 2008 06:56 PM (7ZiKm)
9
The hardest, most difficult, most misunderstood, most broken rule of parenting is asking for help. I've got 15+ years under my belt and I still try and manage it all even when I know deep in my soul I can't. I bet if you asked for help from your family (Melissa & Jeff included) or a nanny in Whistler you would feel a little better. Not only that, buy you and Angus could probably use a night off to yourselves too; even if its take out pizza locked in the bedroom.
Posted by: cursingmama at January 02, 2008 07:00 PM (PoQfr)
10
If you're not enjoying Target then there's BIIIIIIIIIIG trouble out there!
Hindsight is always 20/20. And there are some lessons parents have to learn on their own. Traveling with children is one of them.
Remember there's a learning curve for you AND the babies. You'll be fine.
Posted by: ~Easy at January 02, 2008 07:18 PM (WdRDV)
11
I don't think there's anything wrong with starting travel early but their first trip being one that's halfway around the world is bound to be a doozy. God bless ya, I didn't travel 2 hours by car to visit my parents until my son was older! I don't know if there's really any advantage to starting small though - babies will get out of sorts over the smallest trips so why not go big?
At least your flights went well, that is something to be very grateful for. I hope the babies settle soon and the flights home go as smoothly.
Posted by: paula at January 02, 2008 07:25 PM (Vlcxt)
12
I'm glad the flight went well. I feel your pain on a smaller scale. Angel3 is still getting us up an average of 2 times a night, and we're not even traveling. : )
While I wouldn't endeavor to take a baby around the world (let alone 2 babies) and would discourage others from doing it, it's a trade off. You lose a lot of sleep and comfort, but your Dad and stepmom get to see their grandchildren at THEIR house. I'm sure that's glorious for them. After you're back in England and well rested, the hardships of the trip will be a faded memory and an experience that actually bonds you and Angus; but the memories for your Dad & stepmom will be rich, pleasing, and permanent.
Sacrificing our comfort for the sake of others is a lost art. I'm sure your Dad & stepmom appreciate your sacrifice more than they can express.
Posted by: Solomon at January 02, 2008 09:55 PM (x+GoF)
13
Gosh, I am a believer that exposing little people to travel and culture can only be a good thing. And getting them started early means an overall easier transition to funny time zones and strange foods etc. The first trip was always going to be the hardest in terms of understanding how its really going to be. Its only going to get more manageable. Our daughter had travelled to South Africa and Australia from the UK all before the age of six months, it was much easier for us because we only had one and I could stick her on the boob in times of crisis, but I still maintain that she is a more chilled baby as a result of having to adjust to lots of different experiences. We are about to set off on a marathon three week trip back to the UK from Sydney and Amy turns 18 months old this week. Are we crazy? YES! Will we regret going? I sincerely hope not!
I hope you get some well deserved rest in Whistler! Or at least a couple of inches of powder!
Posted by: Super Sarah at January 02, 2008 10:04 PM (HzKng)
14
Yeah, they don't like it when you fuck with their schedule. Thankfully, the Mini is all "fuck you and YOUR schedule." It's really the only time it came in handy.
Posted by: statia at January 02, 2008 10:33 PM (lHsKN)
15
I think sort of like a mini-Irene, with sedation. I do believe taking kids half-way or one-third of the way around the world is asking for a world of hurt. I did it, I did it often, but it hurt.
But I was able to minimize the hurt via pharmacology, as in "better living through pharma.." I'd give those babies a dose of benadryl or nighttime cold medicine and BLAST them into the right timezone.
I often traveled alone with babies, and getting them to sleep on the right schedule (ie MINE) was absolutely critical. If my kids didn't respond well to those meds, I never would have traveled.
Good luck, Helen! You'll make it, but trust me, you'll be happier (as will Angus) if you can just use a little dropperfull of sedatory heaven on the little ones. Good luck! I'm rooting for you! (and so glad my kids now travel with headphones, busy thumbs, and not a peep).
Posted by: red at January 02, 2008 10:43 PM (huNZa)
16
I personally dislike vacations that are not total R&R but I guess you have to be with family at some point.
Posted by: Lukie at January 02, 2008 11:30 PM (WXIEq)
17
When my kids were "distressed" or teething I would try dipping the pacifier in an alcholic beverage: bourbon or similar. Wouldf rom time to time work.
Good luck. Geood time.
Happy New Year. Will get better.
Posted by: Charles at January 03, 2008 12:00 AM (gHAtb)
18
I think you might be the bravest person in the world to have made that trip with them. I wish I had some advice, but I don't. I just hope they settle in soon, so that you can start to enjoy some of your time stateside!
Posted by: Erica at January 03, 2008 01:21 AM (D6tE/)
19
You are reminding me of the trip we took with our newborn son to see his paternal grandparents, when the boy was 6 weeks old. It was HELL, and we only went 500 miles, not clear across the sea. I don't know how you did it, but keep your eyes on the prize until you get back home and get back on schedule again.
Posted by: kenju at January 03, 2008 05:34 AM (yvCMb)
20
oh no! Is there any way you can get your parents to treat you to a "reverse" date and take the kiddoes out so you can get some shut eye?
Glad the flights went well, though. Enjoy Whstler!
Posted by: caltechgirl at January 03, 2008 06:02 AM (IfXtw)
21
oh no! Is there any way you can get your parents to treat you to a "reverse" date and take the kiddoes out so you can get some shut eye?
Glad the flights went well, though. Enjoy Whistler!
Posted by: caltechgirl at January 03, 2008 06:11 AM (IfXtw)
22
Sending your babies relaxing, sleepy thoughts. I hope it improves soon, very very soon for you.
Posted by: Veronica at January 03, 2008 10:25 AM (8wX3J)
23
The night before last was so bad that I caved and simply pulled Nora into bed with us, risking Angus' displeasure.
I know you've mentioned this before but it still baffles me how Angus is so very against the babies sleeping with you or both of you sometimes. Honest to god, it's not THAT big of a deal. My best friend's baby is two years old now but the first 6 months (at least) she slept with Mom and Dan almost every night. Y says she never would have gotten any sleep otherwise. And this is her third; she didn't have that problem with the first two. Now at two years old, she sleeps in her crib by herself just fine.
And my kids both slept with us sometimes, too. As babies and as small children; no biggie. It never became an issue, they never resisted going to bed by themselves, etc., etc.
They are all so very different, they all have different needs and they are only THAT little for a relatively short time. Angus, I have an immense amount of respect for you although I don't know you except through Helen but Helen loves you so you must be an exceptional man.
But please...relax a tad about the infant sleeping in bed with Mommy sometimes thing, will you?
It's only the natural state of affairs for mommies and babies all over the world and has been so since the dawn of Mankind. You know? If it was so horribly awful, how in the world did the human race make it so far with so many babies sleeping with their mommies all this time?
And you can both tell me to shut up and it's none of my business, because you're right, it's none of my business. But I'm testy today in a peri-menopausal way so...there ya GO! Assvice from me again. And worth every penny you paid for it, I might add! ;-P
Posted by: The other Amber at January 03, 2008 04:33 PM (zQE5D)
24
Uh, the "Dan" was a typo; my Dan does not sleep with my best friend and her baby. Should have read "Dad".
Although if he DID sleep with my best friend and her baby, I would brain them both and take the baby. Okay, not really...no no...actually, I do mean that. ;-P
Posted by: The other Amber at January 03, 2008 04:35 PM (zQE5D)
25
I, too, remember traveling with young ones. We took a cross-half-country trip to visit my sister-in-law and drove in a van with four children. The youngest was two and he cried and/or screamed almost the whole trip. I spent a couple of nights with him in the van so the rest of the family could sleep! Yeah, fun times. I feel for you, sweetie. Sleep depravation is no fun, for you or for them. I hope all gets leveled out soon and you can get some much-needed rest.
I can't believe I was the 19,000 commenter! Wow. That's just amazing. Not that you have that many comments, that doesn't surprise me one twit. That I was the one, that's the surprise!
Posted by: sue at January 03, 2008 07:17 PM (WbfZD)
26
Don't ever allow anyone to tell you what you should do with your own children, you know when the time is right and this time it's travel (ahem..Irene!!!!). Why the hell should you put an end to exploring and admiring different parts of our wonderful globe.
I too had a "colicky" baby who is now 10mths old..thankfully for us, she turned at 18wks so I read your posts with the hope that you will enjoy the same pattern. You know what though, we got the most beautiful and happiest little girl at that point. She is full of life, laughter and always, always smiling - even in her sleep.
Like others have mentioned, if it's fitting and you feel like it try to go out (even if it is alone) without the babies just for an hour. Clear some head space..sit and watch passers by with a warm drink.
Thinking of you, all the way from Australia.
Posted by: K (Australia) at January 05, 2008 10:42 PM (w4YUC)
27
As far as the colic, I had a friend who switched to soy milk and the colic disappeared. She went through three kids with terrible colic, so she tried it in desperation on the fourth and it was GONE. It might not work, but I thought I'd pass it along.
Posted by: Rhonda at January 06, 2008 08:13 PM (6iu+V)
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