It's the second of December, and already I've opened the second day on my advent calendar. Christmas posts to come (I love writing Christmas posts, I think about them early in the year and work from there. It's one of the few times I actually write a post for people reading this as well as myself, instead of just being a selfish whore who writes blog posts for herself.) but first a bit of a catch-up.

The job is going very well. I'm happy here, and so far I like what I'm doing. The projects I'm taking on maybe aren't the most exciting thing in the world but I got a pay rise (very much needed), I have a fabulous boss, I get on well with my colleagues, and for the first time in ages I like going to work.

On the other side, Angus' job is filled with such stress and politics that it's keeping him up at night. My former boss is playing games and stealing Angus' work (Angus has proof no less) and taking credit for ideas Angus generated. In addition, my former boss has misled Angus' boss (my former boss and Angus are peers in the same organization) and Angus got in trouble for three things he didn't do. He's now trying to deal with his boss professionally and clear his name. I've suggested he engage HR, I think he's headed that way. His working life is very difficult, and we want to get him out of there but the shutters on businesses have come down in turns of hiring, courtesy of the holidays and the recession. Just when I get a job that makes me happy his job descends into hell.

I'm mindful, however, that things can change. With that in mind I've decided to take a piece of what people suggested in calling the new job, and from here on it shall be known as The Gig. I think giving it some kind of adjective in conjunction with the name is dangerous - if I call it "Fabulous Gig" it's all but setting me up to start hating it. So The Gig it is, and thank you for the suggestion.

Melissa and Jeff arrive the 21st of December for 9 days. We haven't seen them since Halloween as we couldn't get dates worked out. There's a bit of stress there as well - we wanted them to stay longer but the Swunt threw a strop. This would be the same Swunt that last year wouldn't let them come here until last minute, and then when Jeff was going to stay in Sweden she forced him to come here as she booked a trip to South America for herself (as you do when you're unemployed and broke, of course).

My dad asked me what the Swunt was going to do for the holidays by herself in Sweden.

My response was shocking in the levels to which she's affected me: "I don't care," I replied. "She can sit in her house and cry for all I care."

That sound you hear would be karma gallopping in to kick my ass in return for my complete and total apathy for the woman.

The Swunt has sold their house. She was shocked at the amount of money she got, she didn't get anywhere near what it was valued for a few years ago, which tells me that she hasn't read a fucking paper as most of us are aware that the housing markets have collapsed. She and the kids are moving in January. They are moving to the middle of Buttfuck, Sweden. Melissa will be commuting 5 hours a day via train for school and Jeff has a 2 hour commute via bus per day.

But hey - the Swunt gets what she wants, and that's what's important.

Angus had suggested Melissa get a one-room flat in Stockholm. This caused arguments all over the place - I was stressed to fuck as not only am I unsure if Melissa is mature enough to handle this (something Angus isn't sure of either) but I didn't know where we were going to get the money to handle this. We're already broke, paying for a flat in Stockholm would be like bleeding a stone.

Angus set the record straight - Melissa works in a stable and her money is appropriated by her mother to care for their horses. Angus suggested that money go to a flat and an education instead of horses. The Swunt put the smackdown on that and used Jeff to deliver the message.

Jeff and Angus are ok now. Melissa and I discuss things via Facebook where, I'm happy to say, she has loads of photos of me and not a single one of the Swunt. But I know that a lot is about to change.

The kids now live 2 hours away from an airport, and it's a regional airport. This regional airport connects to a regional airport here, so instead of a 30 minute drive to Heathrow we'll be fetching the kids from an airport 2 hours away from our house. It doesn't take a genius to know that we'll be seeing les and less of the kids now.

We worry that Melissa will drop out of school, but at least another school closer to home has been located. It's no where near the education that she would have had, but hey - the Swunt's happy. That's all that matters.

Jeff will be starting a new school and that's one area where it may be a good thing - he's being badly bullied at school for being half English. He's been attacked a few times now, and is counting down the days until he's done with this school. I feel bad for him - he's so sensitive, things are so hard for him. But he doesn't do change well at all, and a new school is sure to send him into orbit. At least next Fall he'll start going to an English school there in Sweden, where he'll fit in better.

And we're also constantly aware that the Swunt may (and probably will) come after Angus for more money. He's been paying the child support from a Swedish account he has for the past few years. The account is about to be empty, though, and so the money will have to come out of his salary. My pay rise basically covers, per month, what she should be paid, but I can't tell you how I cannot bear to give that horrible woman any of my money. I fully support that child payments need to be made, but it galls me to think that I work for my money and she just sits on her ass, claims unemployment, and soaks it up. Angus agrees (and never once suggested my pay rise help pay the Swunt, that was my private paranoid fear) and so once he pays out of pocket I'll pick up more of our household costs and I'll pay those, while he pays her.

He's stressed about his kids and their wellbeing.

I don't blame him - I think this whole situation is awful, too.

But hey! Dammit, it's the holiday season. Joy and good wishes and love to all.

Almost all, anyway.

-H.

*Does that sound like a racy title or what?

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 09:35 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
Post contains 1233 words, total size 6 kb.

1 I think you and Angus should petition the courts for custody of Melissa and Jeff. I am betting they would absolutely thrive under your (new roof.

Posted by: justdawn at December 02, 2008 10:34 AM (mpPin)

2 As horrible as it sounds, when the kids are 18 or in college, any money can bypass the Swunt, which will be very satisfying I am sure. Just think how much money you will suddenly have, it will be as if you have gotten an extra job! The Swunt will have to get a job and sell the horses.

Posted by: Melissia at December 02, 2008 01:14 PM (IBnue)

3 well the title was what got me started reading this post, heh. that swunt is evil, EVIL! but you didn't need me to tell you that.

Posted by: Mei at December 02, 2008 02:29 PM (WTxOz)

4 Haven't really got any sage words of wisdom but wanted to say I think you are doing a fantasic job and Melissa and Jeff are lucky to have you. Just keep being there for them and they'll know you love them. Sending hugs and love at this difficult time.

Posted by: Suzie at December 02, 2008 02:39 PM (zJPh8)

5 Wow. That is some crazy crap to do to your children. I bet they would do so much better with you two. Your Swunt and our ex sound of the same family. Always wanting more money yet not working for it. Happy holidays!

Posted by: Cori at December 02, 2008 04:24 PM (LumIA)

6 FIVE HOURS A DAY????? WHAT THE HELL? (*SCREAM*) I have no words.

Posted by: Tracy at December 02, 2008 04:48 PM (eiiGE)

7 You have a lot on your plate right now, don't you? Those poor kids... I'm with justdawn, I think you guys should go for custody!

Posted by: sue at December 02, 2008 05:16 PM (0K+AI)

8 No matter where, it's always the same... who's got the custody has the power. And all non-custody parents with a sense of responsibility towards their children will cope, whatever kind of impertinence may be put on their plates. Grrr.

Posted by: Lily at December 02, 2008 06:00 PM (leAOG)

9 Best interest of the children could go a long way with her! Good grief, tween/teens years are hard enough!

Posted by: steff at December 02, 2008 06:26 PM (uKuUC)

10 God, I loathe that woman.

Posted by: Lauren at December 02, 2008 07:22 PM (RkLJR)

11 I wish I could do more than just shake my head at her ongoing selfish idiocy. I can see where she might want to make life hard for Angus -- being her ex and all -- but how ridiculous is it to put her kids out like that? Truly unbelievable!

Posted by: Tinker at December 02, 2008 07:44 PM (rU3SM)

12 You need no advice, Angus either, because you both are intelligent enough to know what to do, what to risk and what to avoid. As long as you hold together. Take care! I wish you a happy holiday season, too. Paula

Posted by: Paula at December 02, 2008 10:15 PM (kzZlj)

13 The Swunt is just so--mm--swunty. Not news, only an acknowledgement.

Posted by: PHX Mama at December 03, 2008 04:52 AM (Xl39M)

14 Unemployed and owns horses? So weird... horses her kid pays for? WTF? 5 hours? WTF? That poor girl.

Posted by: isabel at December 03, 2008 02:07 PM (0H+t6)

15 Just wanted to know I reread the post today and it gerts no better upon second reading, that Swunt is really not deserving of having Melissa and Jeff. I did think of you last night when the local station ran an unedited, without commercial viewing of Elf. I baked Christmas cookies and laughed liked an idiot.

Posted by: Melissia at December 03, 2008 02:25 PM (IBnue)

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