April 03, 2008

Happy Half Birthday

Today the babies are 6 months old.

(Or, to be technical about it, they're 5 months old as they were 4 weeks premature. But that's being nitpicky.)

It's strange to think that 6 months ago my whole entire world changed with the arrival of two little ones. It's also hard to believe it's only been 6 months, I swear these two have been in my life forever. I know there was a time I didn't have two bundles smelling like milk and lavender, I know I went 33 years without them, it's just hard to imagine my life without them, and also a not very pleasant idea at that.

I thought I loved those early days the most, the ones where they fall asleep under your neck at the slightest provocation, the days where you could hold their entire weight supported in the cup of your hand. I thought those were the best days but I think these are the best days - drawing smiles and giggles out of them, seeing their personalities emerge, getting to know who these little people are. And just last night Nora fell asleep snuggled under my chin, so luckily those days aren't quite over yet.

This isn't to say we've made leaps and bounds, because we haven't, really. A month ago when a dehydrated Nora and I went to the A&E, the doctor stared down at my sick little girl.

"We'll see how shaky she is rolling over," the doctor said.

Yeah. We're going to be here a while. "She can't roll over yet," I reply.

"Oh. Ok. We'll see how well she can prop herself up on her arms," she says determinedly.

"We can't do that either," I confess. I'm such a crap parent.

"Can she smile?" asks the frustrated doctor.

"Smile! Yes, we can do smiles!" I gleefully exclaim. Of course, when you're feeling sick smiling isn't at the top of the to do list, so that took a while.

That illness was bad for us - Nora lost so much weight you could see her ribs, and she bounced back into clothes size 0-3 months and newborn size diapers. The twins are tiny and can't afford to lose any weight at all. Although she's put the weight back on, both of them are only just in the 2nd percentile. They wear size 3-6 months due to their length alone, but if you put them in trousers you need size 0-3. Nick weighs 13lbs7oz. Nora weighs just 13lbs2oz. They're tiny babies, man. Tiny.

The twins cannot do most of the things they should be doing at 6 or even 5 months. They cannot sit up unaided, and are still wobbly if you have them in the Bumbo (but tummy time is no problem now, and luckily the screaming has stopped, too). They cannot roll over (in either direction). They cannot support their weight on their legs if you hold them up by their arms. In short, we're behind. I don't worry too much about it, we'll catch up when they're ready, but when they were born I worried I would not have enough time of the baby days, that I would feel cheated out of the early lovey baby stages. I don't worry about that anymore. My babies have been babies for far longer than most, and I feel ready for them to move to the next stages, I feel like I won't mourn having too short a time.

Nick has been so angry and whiny with teething - his teeth are moving around in his gums, no action visible yet - that we didn't even notice until the morning of my birthday that Nora already has a tooth that's broken through on her bottom gum. We'd been so busy dealing with her angry brother that without a fuss or a problem Nora got a tooth.

Women are so tough.

The babies have 4 bottles a day, at 240mL/8oz (I know - these details are probably boring you stiff. Bear with me.) Their early introductions to solids to get their weights up means that they eat all kinds of foods now, always pureed - their favorites are parsnips, anything fruit, and courgette (zucchini). They get solid food twice a day, although both babies make a horrific face at the start of each feeding, regardless of whether it's a favorite food or not. Nick in particular will eat anything and everything, which is a far cry from the early preemie days where we had to fight to get 30mL down him.

And the best bit - both babies go to bed at 7pm. They wake up the next morning at 7am. They make wake up at 5 am and babble, but they go right back to sleep.

Nora is the one that people stop and tell us how beautiful she is. She is also the sociable one. She lights up like a Christmas tree if you smile at her, and on Monday at Heathrow the twins came with us to check Melissa and Jeff into their flight. I turned around at one point to see three adults all making faces and grinning madly at Nora, who was flirting outrageously in return. Nora will smile at you and then bury her head in your shoulder, as though saying Why yes I like you but man am I shy.

She is absolutely a completely different baby from the colic days. People tell you the colic will pass but you don't believe them. Then, one day, it does and you aren't sure how you survived it. I think I will always mourn the collicky days. I feel we lost out on getting to know Nora during those months, and Angus for sure didn't bond with Nora until much later. They still have a bit of a difficult relationship as he bonded completely with Nick, while Nora and I are extremely close.

Nick is a card. When he smiles everyone smiles because he smiles with his whole face. He's the sweet and calm one (apart from the teething times) and he is definitely his father's child - Nick absolutely and completely adores lights. If there's a light on in the room he'll be watching that over you any day. He laughs, although not as much as Nora, and he'll laugh at completely random things - walk past him sometimes and he bursts into laughter. You never know what will set him off. He still hasn't twigged that he has a twin sister, although Nora spends a lot of time staring at him.

Health-wise, Nick has more problems than Nora. He definitely still has strabismus, and the twins both have their first optical appointment on Monday. Nick also has plagio, and no amount of turning him from one side to the other will counter it. His head is noticably different, and we have discussed it and elected not to correct it with the use of a helmet. It's a personal decision for every family, there is no right or wrong, it's all very personal. Our decision was countered by the fact that virtually no one in either side of our family is bald, so Nick should have a full head of hair until the end of the road. Nick also has two completely different ears. Seriously. They do not match at all.

These are not imperfections to me.

These are parts that to me make up the sum of my magical son.

Nora loves to be kissed and laughs when you do it, and Nick loves to be pretend eaten, so if you make growling noises and "nom nom" noises and pretend to bite his neck he squeals with laughter.

Together they are teaching me so much about life.

6 months ago today they were born.

I've loved it all so far.

And I leave you with two videos that I hope make you laugh - one of both of them giggling, then a quick one of Nora and her Daddy (with Gorby whistling in the background). Giggly babies always cheer me up. If you need cheering, then I hope they helped you, too.


-H.

PS-the U.T.E.R.U.S. Brigade is going along brilliantly - we have some items up for auction and more to go up this evening (the day job is cutting in here). There really are some fantastic items up there - and you won't believe a few more that I have to put up for sale later today! Please consider donating or bidding - this is to help a woman fund a round of IVF. She's so selfless - she moved, gave up her job and her own life to take care of her grandmother who has Alzheimer's. She really deserves a chance. You can see the items up for bid here.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 09:40 AM | Comments (26) | Add Comment
Post contains 1472 words, total size 9 kb.

1 Congrats on the 0.5 birthday- I still miss the time when my son was a baby. Today he's 27 yrs old, and not so keen on being tickled by his mom. Lily, still looking for something to give away

Posted by: Lily at April 03, 2008 09:38 AM (Y8m4l)

2 I am sure I have mentioned it before, but it used to drive me mad when someone would say to me "they only get better and better" when I was holding my bran new baby in my arms thinking I had everything I needed right there! But then Amy started to grow up and you know what, it just doesn't stop getting better!

Posted by: Super Sarah at April 03, 2008 10:02 AM (wUxsp)

3 Amazing how quickly the kids become so intwined with your life that you cannot imagine what it would be like without them, isn't it? Don't sweat the milestones. My teenager didn't start to walk until she was almost 2 years old.

Posted by: ~Easy at April 03, 2008 10:54 AM (XD24A)

4 Halfway there!!! They are too cute, Helen.

Posted by: Andria at April 03, 2008 11:59 AM (Oo4k1)

5 The Mini's ears are different. Not symmetry wise, but looks wise. From the back on is flat on the ridge, while the other isn't. He also has a little imprint on that ear too. We think it's the way he was situated in the womb that did it. And it's one of my most favorite things about him.

Posted by: statia at April 03, 2008 12:51 PM (5IjqH)

6 Aw, very cute videos!! I love baby giggles, my neice is developing "her" laugh now, it's completely adorable, and of course she has my brother wrapped around her finger already. Serious daddy's girl there.

Posted by: Angela at April 03, 2008 01:00 PM (DGWM7)

7 Wow, I can not believe they are 6 months already. I am betting that each new stage will become your 'favorite', and that is what is so great. The cuddly-under-your-neck stage was always a favorite of mine too. As for the plagio, I am about as flat headed as they come. Back then babies slept on their bellies, but my mom said I would only sleep on my back. I tell people that my head is flat back there and they don't believe it-then they feel it and they can't believe how flat it is-but I am no worse for wear. In fact, I kinda like it. And I am still racking my brain on what to do for the auction-kept me up a good part of the night. The babies will roll when the babies are ready-to each their own. But they sure are damn cute, and thanks for the videos-nice to have my house filled with baby giggles again.

Posted by: Teresa at April 03, 2008 01:14 PM (Ejl39)

8 The princesses joined in during the video and sueaked along with the bebes. :-) Happy Half Birthday, darlings!

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 03, 2008 01:16 PM (IfXtw)

9 Happy half birthday, Nick and Nora! You guys are too cute for words. And I feel so much like you do, dear Helen. You keep thinking "this must be the best part" but the best part keeps on coming, doesn't it?

Posted by: Kath at April 03, 2008 01:35 PM (K2zP+)

10 Happy half Birthday! They are so adorable!

Posted by: Jen at April 03, 2008 02:02 PM (FYm8s)

11 I can't decide who is funnier Angus or the babies, he is too funny. They are amazing little creatures.

Posted by: Cheryl at April 03, 2008 02:02 PM (n3lCA)

12 I love delighted Nora is by the whole thing! Almost makes me want more. Almost.

Posted by: Dotty at April 03, 2008 02:18 PM (Njk30)

13 Oh my! I am right there with you, my Nate will be 6 months on the 6th and nothing about the world is the same and I wouldnt change it for a minute! I will say I hate you a little that they sleep so well. Im still up a lot, 2-4 sometimes 5 times. He only sleeps thru about once per week. Happy Birthday kids!

Posted by: Christina at April 03, 2008 02:22 PM (J6Yo6)

14 It's so great watching these "best times" just keep topping each other. These sorts of posts are wonderful; thank you for documenting and sharing the details.

Posted by: Lisa at April 03, 2008 03:48 PM (EcHBm)

15 They are gorgeous! Don't sweat the milestones, they happen when they happen. The strabismus is more of an issue than the plagio. My brother had plagio as an infant and he's fine without ever wearing a helmet. My son had the lazy eye and treatment is so important. If we hadn't been aggressive in treatment he would have been blind in that lazy eye - visual pathways are formed early so forcing the use of the lazy eye so there are the neural pathways to that eye are important. My son was patched on the "good" eye until he was six and the lazy eye was operated on. His eyes are straight now, he'll always need glasses but he can see out of both eyes.

Posted by: lostdawill at April 03, 2008 05:13 PM (jyf97)

16 Happy half-birthday! The movies are so cute. I miss those days, though I still get double shnuzzles every day and they're 3 1/2 so it doesn't go away entirely for a bit.

Posted by: Mel at April 03, 2008 05:28 PM (veSRV)

17 Happy Half-Birthday Little Ones! I loved the videos and was waiting for the punchline - Nora barfing down Daddy's neck. Heh. I will keep saying it: screw the charts, mkay? Babylove was low on the charts when he was their age. Now? He's BIGGER than the average kid his age. I'll never understand why the docs put SO much emphasis on that - to me it's like forcing the babies to color inside the lines. Uh, nice on paper but not very practical when it comes to reality. The twins are growing and happy and - oh, you'll see. That Johnson & Johnson commercial they were running in the Colonies for a while really does say it all (even tho they WERE mildly annoying): "Having a baby changes everyrhing." Multiply the number of babies? Multiply the love. Easy math. Heh. Oh, and GOOD SHOW DADDY on making both babies laugh at the same time - no mean feat there. xoxo

Posted by: Margi at April 03, 2008 07:08 PM (zfeQt)

18 Too damn cute for words. Angus looks like he's really enjoying the daddy thing.

Posted by: diamond dave at April 03, 2008 09:09 PM (M65l2)

19 It's so crazy to worry so much over weight - it's more about the gain than the weight. My youngest was a pound for every month, like clockwork. And my oldest, born at 1 lb 12 oz, was almost exactly the same. I worried and stressed over his weight. To this day I am always trying to get him to eat. Now he is 6 ft tall (I tell him he is still about 1 lb) and skinny as a rail but he eats like mad. Dont stress about the percentile - the truth is, to 12 months babies should gain 1-2 lbs a month and 1/2 lb a month after that until 2 but it seems to me that many preemies "catch up" by gaining a steady 1 - 1 1/2 for 2 years straight. Your children are beautiful and I totally sympathize with the "staying a baby" frustration. If you want I could tell you some excercises to help them, although personally I question the value.

Posted by: That Girl at April 03, 2008 11:35 PM (iVGwK)

20 Both of my kids (now 12 and 7) were born early. 6 and 5 weeks. They too go off to a slow start on a lof things - but they caught up. But all that does is give you another whole set of things to worry about - along with another whole batch of stuff to love.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at April 04, 2008 02:35 AM (R7LgM)

21 Hey! Leave the boy's ears alone! Mine don't match either and neither does my son's. No one notices unless I point it out. It makes us unique. They're beautiful!

Posted by: Michelle at April 04, 2008 03:59 AM (9DCVU)

22 Oh the giggles are precious and you are right, it is just the thing to turn a bad day good. You know, I love the baby stage and the 2-4 year stage but, honestly, every stage is the best when it is you and your kid(s)...they just get better. Yes, you always look back with a bit of yearning but it just gets better and better every day.

Posted by: Melissa at April 04, 2008 06:23 AM (+Wg/4)

23 Those videos were the highlight of my day My hubby also has non-matching ears. One has an attached lobe and the other is free hanging. No one notices.

Posted by: ZTZCheese at April 04, 2008 06:23 AM (Iw+8+)

24 I would tell you not to agonize about the babies' weights and milestones, but that would be rather hypocritical because I do it ...and I've been through this before. For all of my attempts to 'supplement' our little girl, she's about the same size (and age, of course) as Nora, so I suppose it is what it is. Thank you for sharing the videos! Angus' giggle extraction technique was worthy of giggles from more than the babies. And it was very cool to hear your voice -- very rich and velvety, a little deeper and more relaxed than I had imagined. Very beautiful.

Posted by: Tinker at April 04, 2008 06:38 AM (rU3SM)

25 What gorgeous babies. Can I just say that I am SO envious of how long they sleep for. One of my 10-month-old twin girls will often last till 4am or 5am, but the other wakes frequently. Did your bubs achieve this all on their own or do you have some magical bedtime/overnight trick?

Posted by: andrea at April 05, 2008 10:25 AM (F8E4n)

26 My 4 1/2 months old's ears don't match either. One looks like a little elf ear, and the other one folds in a little. He also has four nipples. I love my little mutant boy!

Posted by: Kristine Needleman at April 06, 2008 08:05 PM (8SRDh)

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