This morning, as I went about morning business, this was how my mind worked. I figured I'd give you an example to show you just how much I overthink everything. Because I do. Overthink everything, that is.

*****************************

I finished feeding and burping the babies and parked them under the Baby Einstein Gym. I turned on the radio (we just bought one, actually. I know. We're a little behind.) And there was BBC2 filling the house. Terry Wogan reads the news.

The stock market is sucking, huh? I wonder if I should hold off on buying their 6-12 month clothes. I'm short on 6-12 months items. Instead of hitting up a sale at Next, maybe I should wait. Maybe a market fall will commence WWIII. It'll be like a nuclear winter. We'll dress the babies in our clothing cast-offs and they will be taught to hunt using pacifiers and the tin liner of a can of formula. It's like the plot of a Stephen King novel, a creepy one like The Fog, which freaked me out so badly I can't see the movie and which, coincidentally, is the reason I stockpile nappies and formula so that we have enough to survive on just in case.

I shove my hair behind my ear. I'm not sure I like my haircut. I'm not sure I don't like it, either.

I reach for some tablets. Since giving birth I have battled with the demon known as Captain Constipation. It makes life hell. I replayed a recent discussion with Angus in my head.

"I bought you a present," he says, holding out a box of Dulco-Ease.

"Oh honey! Nothing says 'I love you ' like a box of laxatives!" I say, batting my eyelashes at him.

"But you have tablets to help treat that," he says, joining me and reaching to put plates away from a recently finished dishwasher.

"I know. I've been taking them for three days now. And drinking water. And prune juice. And eating more fibre than you can find in your average pile of rope," I reply mournfully.

That was three days ago. So now I'm going to need a militia to go in there and help get through the battle gates. Good thing I actually like the taste of prune juice. I have been popping the pills daily, and I've taken so many now that even Mike Huckabee would now be unconstipated.

Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee...seriously? A person can be called Mike Huckabee? His politics scare me, and you just can't elect a man named Huckabee, it's not on. Can you hear Dan Rather say "President Huckabee has plans to meet with the Japanese Prime Minister this Wednesday"? No, me neither. The rest of the world already has their enjoyment making fun of the States (trust me, I know. I get abused at every party as "the voice of America"). How can we show our face with a president whose name sounds like he's a long-lost cast member from the Andy Griffith Show?

Who am I going to vote for? Hmmm...as a Democrat (real-time note-this is not where you need to attack me, try to convince me otherwise, or palm off a link to my website to rabid, inconsistent, dogmatic right-wing bloggers. Generally I don't discuss politics here because I don't want the aggro and because I think politics are best discussed face-to-face over some single malt. I am a personal blog writer but hey - I do have a view of politics too, and those politics mean I am a platform voter, and those platforms are usually supported by the Democrats. Let me have my view in peace, as I won't try to convert you if you don't try to convert me, yes? Whiskey?) I'm not sure. The Democrats are polarized over the primaries. It feels like I have to decide, and I have to decide RIGHT NOW.

I don't mind Hilary, I like her stances on many things. Plus she stuck by Bill when his affairs were revealed, and if you've ever been cheated on you know that sticking it out with the one who's put his leg over someone else takes some major backbone. But I hate feeling like I have to vote for her because she's a woman, I'm a woman, and I am a feminist. I tend to get a little stubborn when people expect me to do something without asking if I want to do it. I also am a little pissed off about the recent Vogue gaff. Amazingly, for the first time in my life I'm actually siding with Anna Wintour, who I think of as Satan only with a slightly more expensive haircut. Clinton wouldn't do an issue of Vogue lest she appear "too feminine". What, so if you're feminine you're weak? If you admit to being a woman you've given away the ability to be taken seriously? Yes, there are prejudices in America but you would've earned my respect faster if you'd decided to address them head on, before you got elected, when you wouldn't just be talking the talk. Way to miss your own message, babe.

Obama, Obama...do I like Obama? I like him, I'd have a drink with him. He seems very intelligent and I like intelligent presidents, I think it's what we need. Does he have the experience, though? Will he be as seemingly ineffectual and invisible as Gordon Brown? If something goes very-pear shaped all of a sudden would White House aides find him under his desk in the Oval Office, moving the ink blotter around the carpet and making choo-choo noises?

More news.

Heath Ledger died? Is that possible? He was a fantastic actor, even if I think he might not have been such a nice chap in real life. But Hollywood people don't die. They just get cast in wax. They don't really die, not really. Or wait - maybe this is a conspiracy. It's something Stephen King is writing.

Ooooh Golden Grahams. That's what I want for breakfast. Opening the box, I read their new ad campaign - "With Ridges That Rock!" Think I've just gone off Golden Grahams.

Must call builders.

Must call nursery.

Must make up some bottles.

Must take some photos today.

Must get to emails.

Must ring health visitor.

Must clean house.

Must do more searching for a literary agent, although not entirely sure how one finds said agent.

Must keep writing, which I started doing the other night and which is taking over my mind.

Um....what was I just doing?

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 09:44 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
Post contains 1103 words, total size 6 kb.

1 From one professional overthinker to another: right on. And do find that literary agent. You have great talent and a lot to say. Thanx for sharing with us.

Posted by: Charles at January 23, 2008 11:18 AM (gHAtb)

2 There is no way in hell we can elect someone named Huckabee. Especially now that he's talked about "faith based amendments" to the constitution. As you may have noticed, I will sometimes spill the political stuff into my blog and I don't mind doing so. Please feel free to send the right-wingnuts my way for a spanking.

Posted by: ~Easy at January 23, 2008 12:19 PM (XD24A)

3 Funny stuff. Most people probably have a similar thought process...maybe less structured. : ) Presidential candidate? I can't find a good one on either side. My favorite (and I'm not trying to convince anyone to join me) is Ron Paul. He's basically a Libertarian who's in the Republican party. Is it really throwing your vote away if you vote for someone who you KNOW won't win? I like to view it as making a statement. Heath Ledger died? It's always stunning when you hear of someone who has it all dying. I guess I shouldn't be so stunned; after all, studies show that 100% of all people die.

Posted by: Solomon at January 23, 2008 01:59 PM (x+GoF)

4 Yes, overthinking sometimes is the path to doom, one I always seem to find myself on. Must. Stop. That. I don't really discuss politics with anyone but Adam, because the topic has become too loaded. I tend to go with the candidate that reflects my own personal views more than what party they are with. But now? Now I don't even know what to think. I do know I don't like Hilary and I really don't like Huckabee. I am just patiently waiting and keeping up with each candidate and hopefully by next November I will be able to make an intelligent decision I can live with. Heath Ledger's death is really sad. I am so bummed about it. That is all I have to say about that. You have a lot more to do today then I, so I will stop right here. Love ya babe.

Posted by: Teresa at January 23, 2008 02:05 PM (0HLwW)

5 Ah yes, the overthinking. Sometimes I have to track back to try to figure out how on earth I ended up thinking about tissues when I started out thinking about cats.... Re: prune juice, though I'm sure you've gotten lots of advice from many places, I've heard that it's even more effective if it's warm. While I do like the taste of prune juice I really can't imagine it warm so I haven't tried that myself. Thought I'd pass it on just in case though.

Posted by: martha at January 23, 2008 03:02 PM (ySZ2x)

6 Yes, your mind does take a meandering path around many subjects, but then you have so many responsibilities. I don't think you shirk any of them and I do think you take all of them seriously. Especially now that you have the babies. That picture of them that you had up the other day was lovely. I worry about you going back to work and finding the time and energy to do it all. Please take good care of yourself and don't rush anything.

Posted by: Irene at January 23, 2008 04:02 PM (RL+iu)

7 Over thinking maybe, but what blows me away is how much you manage to write? HOw do yuo manage to do it with twins to look after? Colour me very impressed.

Posted by: thalia at January 23, 2008 05:52 PM (IGlgm)

8 Heh. What a day. Already.

Posted by: caltechgirl at January 23, 2008 05:54 PM (IfXtw)

9 OH yes, we start talking to ourselfs when we are the only ones in the house who can speak. Its totally normal, or so we tell, ourselfs I love your hair, just saying.

Posted by: Christina at January 23, 2008 06:27 PM (J6Yo6)

10 Regarding the upcoming presidential election: I find I am suffering from: Electile Dysfunction: the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party in the 2008 election year.

Posted by: Charles at January 24, 2008 01:27 AM (gHAtb)

11 My mind works in a very similar manner--except when it isn't working at all. I just keep hearing them say that Heath Ledger had prescription sleeping pills at his home. I hope I don't die in a manner that requires searching my house. The drug cabinet is filled with what many would call a cornucopia.

Posted by: sophie at January 24, 2008 01:37 AM (ZPzQL)

12 I feel like you must be my long-lost sister!!! I feel like I'm reading my own thoughts, but put together so much better than they are in my head!!!!

Posted by: Vicki at January 24, 2008 01:43 AM (8IrmH)

13 Doesn't everyone's mind work this way? I have thoughts like this all the time--makes it challenging to get things done on some days. Okay, a lot of days. Overthinking is normal for me, too! I am a list writer for just this reason. (when I write it down, I don't have to think about it anymore. of course, I don't have to do it either, but that is beside the point!) And I am glad you started writing...

Posted by: stacie at January 24, 2008 02:35 AM (dZ+qK)

14 That's the way it happens for me. My mind jumps around like a toad on a hot lily pad.

Posted by: kenju at January 24, 2008 02:56 AM (yvCMb)

15 De-lurking here. I'm not so much an overthinker as I am a random thought thinker. My mind changes directions so many times in conversations, I usually have to stop talking to let the person I'm talking to know I've changed subjects when I see that look of "how does this relate to what we were just talking about?" on his/her face. I'm not sure I could handle a president named Huckabee either. My boyfriend says that if he gets elected his runningmate MUST be named Finn, just so we can chuckle about it. Quite honestly? All the candidates scare me at the moment. It should be an interesting election.

Posted by: Zee at January 24, 2008 05:36 PM (zB2az)

16 You sound busy... not that this is surprising, about a mom of twins. I just wanted to say "thank you" for all of the suggestions you kindly took the time to give me for my London trip. I returned yesterday, and had a wonderful time. Thanks for your help, Helen! ~Meg

Posted by: Meg at January 25, 2008 08:35 PM (776v3)

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