I'm just an ordinary girl living in extraordinary circumstances.

October 21, 2008

You Take the Mike

Right so...

Hey, how about them joints?

Have been doing a lot of research and tomorrow am booking an appointment to do some testing to see if I have That Other Kind of EDS, because I do have some symptoms of that as well. The really bad kind. What I have is just bad, there is a really bad out there too.

But in the meantime, I'm off to London today for a full-day meeting in what I think and hope will be my last business jaunt to London for Dream Job. The world is spinning, life is moving, and my last final interview is on Friday, so by this time next week hopefully there are more options. Even if not, there is at least one option - I have an offer. I'm outta' here.

So since my head's a bit screwed up and I'm off to London still a bit dozy from bad dreams and my babies are chatting and giggling upstairs and oh my God does train travel stress me out and do you have any idea how underprepared I am for this meeting today? I'm taking an easy way out.

You know so much about me.

Tell me something about you.

If you want, that is.

It'd just be nice to know something about you, there on the other side of the screen.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 05:55 AM | Comments (109) | Add Comment
Post contains 235 words, total size 1 kb.

1 always here rooting for you helen x (me? single mum, 4 kids and a dog)

Posted by: Mei at October 21, 2008 06:23 AM (Tv2ya)

2 When I grow up, I want to write just like you :-) True.

Posted by: caltechgirl at October 21, 2008 06:29 AM (IfXtw)

3 How about some things I am scared of? 1. Needles, aghhh. 2. Poisonous/venomous anything. 3. Student loans. 4. Graduation. (No, like, people ask me what my plans are for after graduation. I smile real big and say, "haha, panic!"--but I'm not joking.) 5. Living in one place for the entire year... I've been spending about 8 months of the year in GA and then dividing the rest between CA, DC, and Europe. 6. My frequent miles have an expiration date... what the hell is that bullshit? I didn't know what to write, 'cause, well, Facebook. Heh. So I hope that's remotely interesting. Good luck in London.

Posted by: Marian at October 21, 2008 06:41 AM (ZD4nv)

4 Hello, I'm very sorry for you that you have to cope with the hard challenges of life at such a young age. When I was 34, I was pregnant with my son and after his birth had 20 years of cosy life with him and my husband, founding an own company besides, making a lot of money and loosing it again, fighting with stupid teachers and driving our son to thousands of soccer games with his team. We managed to help him finish his education this year, and are very happy about that, because now my husband is seriously ill and going to die sooner or later unless he decides to accept the proposal for a transplantatio. Getting on the Eurotransplant list is one, receiving an organ in time is another issue. Maybe he is also going to refuse at all in order to go on living and dying according the laws of mother nature, I don't know yet either, what is right or wrong. Sitting in front of the screen every morning to divert myself from my own problems, sometimes crying, sometimes not, and going to work by 9:00 o'clock. Wish you a successful day and good luck for a long life with your sweet little family. Paula PS and please dont't ask again for the problems of your readers, it might be to much one day, as your own are heavy enough.

Posted by: Paula at October 21, 2008 06:46 AM (vEp5g)

5 10 random facts about me: 1. I manage a team of business analysts for a web design company. I've been in my current job for 8 months and changed jobs partly based on a piece of advice you gave me (which as it turns out was damn good advice!). I was with the company before this one for 7 years. 2. A palm reader told me I'd never have children when I was 19 - information I got again from a gyno at 23 and yet again at 34 from an IVF specialist (after 23 unsuccessful IVF attempts). 3. I live in a big partially renovated house by the beach in Melbourne Australia. This year after 6 (count 'em) years the house will finally be complete and my husbands biggest fear is that once we're done I'll immediately want to move (note: it's not unfounded as I did that at our last place!) 4. I have two sisters and two nieces 5. My parents announced they were getting divorced 2 weeks after my husband and I got married and no-one in our family had a clue they were even unhappy. 6. We adopted our cat from our local vets, He had been badly abused and had we not taken him the vet would have put him down. He thought we had enough love to 'bring him back' and now you'd never imagine the life he used to lead. 7. It's our 11th wedding anniversary on Saturday and the first time our anniversary has fallen on a Saturday again since we got married. 8. One of my proudest accomplishments in life was delivering the eulogy at my best friends Mum's funeral (an unexpected heart attack at an early age) without falling to pieces. 9. I am taking my Mum to Europe next year as a 60th birthday present. I want her to wake up on her birthday and see the Eiffel tower from our hotel window. 10. I almost married my high school sweetheart at 19 but found out a couple of months before the wedding that while I had been studying at Uni he had developed a major drug habit and started stealing from his work to pay for it. I ended up meeting the love of my life and going on to a life I would have only dreamt of had I stayed with my former boyfriend and he ended up doing 15 years in jail for assault and armed robbery. To this day I can't believe how much heroin can change someone's personality and outlook on life!

Posted by: Flikka at October 21, 2008 07:14 AM (o19Kc)

6 I am sleepy. And a law student. And I'm in denial about it. Not studying at all when it should be my whole life. I prefer the computer. And tv. And the occasional adult beverage.

Posted by: Amy at October 21, 2008 07:16 AM (KKf16)

7 I also have Ehler Danlos Syndrome which was diagnosed in pregnancy. Try not to panic! It doesn't often cause the sort of serious complications that you read about online. It has made me very bendy which had caused knee/hip/back pain. I also have a slight heart murmur but that doesn't cause any problems. There were concerns about cervical incompetency during my first pregnancy but in the end it was an uncomplicated pregnancy/delivery. The vascular type is most serious but i think you'd know by now if you had that. Good luck with your testing! and your meeting x

Posted by: Andie at October 21, 2008 07:21 AM (jDxpv)

8 Me? 1. Very stressed 2. Slightly tired 3. Hopelessly in love with son 4. Annoyed by son 5. Annoyed by son's dad / husband 6. 4 kilos overweight 7. Indulgent wine drinker 8. Avid shoe buyer 9. Irritated by a spot on my ear 10. Homesick You did ask.

Posted by: E at October 21, 2008 07:22 AM (/jsNo)

9 Me...good grief. Well, how about five random facts, since I can't possibly sum it all up in less than ten thousand words...I'll work on making it relevant to your bloggings. 1. I applied to college as a psych major, and my main area of interest was the psychology of twins. Even though I switched majors, I still plan to make a documentary at some point, which will be easy, since I know ten sets of twins! 2. Writing is one of my passions, and I do it constantly, to the point that it gets in the way of doing what I should be doing. But, hey, a girl could have worse vices, right? 3. I've had/have a lot of health problems, and I think most of them have made me a stronger person. I originally typed "all of them," and crossed it out, because some of them just suck (I'm looking at you, allergies). 4. I almost like Sarah Palin, just for her entertainment value. But if she and McCain win, I'm moving to Quebec. 5. My favorite book is "Kiss My Tiara," by Susan Jane Gilman, and you absolutely have to read it, because it's the sort of book where no matter what calamity is going on around you, you will laugh until milk comes out your nose. Literally.

Posted by: D at October 21, 2008 07:27 AM (bRx8a)

10 Maybe I am the oldest person reading your blog. I am 65. I do not comment often because everyone is younger and my mindset is different. I have a daughter 10 years older than you. I love traveling in Europe and have many more places to travel while I'm able. I have taken my granddaughter, now 21, to Europe twice. I was a foreign language major, but I worked 30 years for the Federal government instead, and didn't use my language skills. But I have a good retirement now. My mother is 98 and lives alone. She has allowed me to hire in-home care for her 4 hours a day, but she doesn't like it. I am her primary caregiver and this has curtailed my travel. My hobbies are handcrafts like quilting, knitting, embroidery and beading, so that will have to keep me happy for now. You live a charmed life. Enjoy it while you can.

Posted by: Annette at October 21, 2008 07:44 AM (UXYFo)

11 Have one son Am two times divorced Drive my third car Have four cats Am a smoker since fifth grade My phone number starts with a 6 My last marriage lasted seven years Temperature has 9 a.m. Grand total of money in my purse: 10 cents. In coins. Also: diabetic, overweight, ex-blonde-now-brunette (thanks to l'oreal), and a big fan of this blog. Have a great day, Lily

Posted by: Lily at October 21, 2008 07:59 AM (Y8m4l)

12 Temperature has not 9 a.m.... Temperature has fallen to 8 degrees this morning, and I am still asleep at nine a.m. As you probably know by now.

Posted by: Lily at October 21, 2008 08:01 AM (Y8m4l)

13 Wow! 1. I work at a University, pretending to be busy all day but actually am not! 2. I am so lucky as I can walk to work, in just 10mins 3. I met my husband in a field. 4. I am 13 weeks pregnant - yippee! (thank god the morning sickness ('all day' sickness more like it!!) has gone) 5. I am a great lurker on blogs and not that good at commenting, but feel like you're my friends, which is quite odd to explain to others. 6. I have a cat, that moults unbelievable amounts! I can't believe she has any hair left on her! Hope that slightly interesting! Hope that trip to London wasn't too bad, hopefully the last time hey. Fingers crossed! xx

Posted by: Suzie at October 21, 2008 08:13 AM (zJPh8)

14 I work at a university, part-time, term time. I met my husband when I was 14, got married at 26 and will have our 15th wedding anniversary next month. I passed my driving test first time at 17. I never wanted children but somehow have got two boys, 9 and almost 5. I cannot keep a goldfish alive for more than three weeks. I had two hamsters until one ate the other, I now have a "no pets" rule. Thanks to you, I am madly in lust with the fictional Jamie Fraser. I don't like flying, so we drive to France every year. I'm going to Disneyland Paris for 4 nights on the 17th December and haven't told the kids yet. Gill x

Posted by: Gill at October 21, 2008 08:44 AM (yTSfd)

15 I am a pretty open book on my own blog...but not sure if you read; so here goes. I have been a faithful reader for a couple of years, now. I love your writing style and am totally enamoured with you and your sweet babies

I have an insanely irrational fear of spiders. Even dead ones. I becoms paralyzed, my heart races. It is stupid...but I can't seem to overcome it. I destroyed my relationship with the love of my life when I was 20 because he didn't want to have children. I lost my mind, quit my job, dropped my car off at the dealership where I bought it and folowed the Grateful Dead for a year. It was during that time that I got knocked up with my first child and ended up marrying the guy. He is my best friend but definitely not my soul mate. It makes me sad because I know what it's like to really be in love and to know that I will likely live the rest of my life without it. DAMN. Where did THAT come from??? You should let me come lie on your couch and charge me money to spill my thoughts and feelings to you. You have a gift, Helen...

Posted by: justdawn at October 21, 2008 08:46 AM (Wfudg)

16 Hello again dear friend. As you know, me: former illegal alien in your native land, now back in my native South Africa, trying hard to create a semblance of a life for myself. I had clung to my American Dream for so long and with such fierce, white-knuckled determination, it is still difficult to let go and to accept that it isn't going to happen anymore. My ex-boyfriend (the very Yankee who traded me in for an All American co-worker) ended up marrying said girl a few weeks ago. It upset me far more than I care to admit. (He had asked me for eight years and I didn't want him. Actually, more specifically, I didn't want his mother to be my monster-in-law. She would have always accused me of marrying him for a Green Card.) So now I'm here, back in far-flung South Africa and dreaming about the day that I can leave again. At least I'm writing for a meagre living. I earn a pittance, but writing is the one thing that has always ALWAYS kept me sane. I love dogs beyond reason and I am more commitment phobic than most men.

Posted by: Deelea at October 21, 2008 09:06 AM (PbHO5)

17 Oh, hell... I am not Deelea, I am redsaid. And no, we swear that we don't have multiple personalities! Dee is redsaid's lovely resident web goddess from Australia. Since she has free access to roam the back corridors of redsaid and fix my plentiful "attempts at coding" mistakes, she once left a comment on my blog while being logged in as me. So I fixed it. And now, whenever I type in a comment form, her name sometimes still pops up above mine. I must've accidentally selected it when I typed this comment. Sorry Dee (who reads here too) and sorry Helen!

Posted by: redsaid at October 21, 2008 09:11 AM (PbHO5)

18 Thanks Red for pretty much the most surreal moment I've had today... Hi Helen, I'm Red's web goddess, though I prefer web princess as it is a lot less far to fall from grace when divinity is not a part of the equation... I have been reading here for many years, occasionally I'll comment but mostly I just listen in. I'm single, 40 years old, have never married, (not for lack of desire to) and work in my very own field of dreams doing web stuff for a big church. Yep, one of those terrifying outfits that are regularly accused of being out for your cash and whose members wave their arms about in the air. (But don't hold that against me... I've been known to look askance and some of the goings on there myself...) I've got a Bachelor's Degree and am hoping to embark on a Master's next year, I live with a Burmese cat who is a princess in her own right, and, one of my crowning achievements is that I'm the proud auntie of 6 nephews and 1 niece. All of whom live in my native homeland... New Zealand. Only one of the greatest places on planet earth. Which begs the question... why do I live in Australia? To which I can only reply... ...God only knows.

Posted by: Deeleea at October 21, 2008 09:40 AM (IphB3)

19 By the numbers: One disabled wife. Two special needs kids. Three dogs. Three cats. One career as a designer of advertising. I work. I care. I sleep. I got into blogs for the politics. I come here and read every post for the humanity.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at October 21, 2008 10:16 AM (R7LgM)

20 Hello, Ummm lets see...... I just celebrated my ONE YEAR anniversary:-) I am an adoption specialist I am Catholic and a Republican I have a beagle (LOKI) and a black cat (OSIRIS) My little calico kitty (ALLIE) died two weeks ago and I miss her every day I am 12 credits short of a Masters degree in Clinical Psy but I got two C's so the program dismissed me. Why yes I am bitter. I get by with alittle help from my friends I read your blog every day and I feel like I know you and your family. I kinda wish you would all come over for Christmas dinner:-) I laugh and cry with you and hold my breath when the babies are sick or you and Angus are having trouble.

Posted by: Dee at October 21, 2008 10:45 AM (E2MKw)

21 Fast facts about me: 1. 34, Argentinian, also Italian (courtesy of Italian grandfather) living in Belgium for the past 6 years 2. Married to lovely Belgian hubby and mom of lovely IVF baby (and a bit smug too!) 3. Have a journalism degree, but have always worked in Marketing Communications 4. Love to write and dream of writing a novel one day. Too lazy to put in the hours. 5. Taking driving lessons. Tired of taking public transport to work (work = in the middle of f.... nowhere) 6. Have cystocele, courtesy of a difficult and long delivery where forceps were involved , yuk! 7. Love all food, except fennel and aniseed, yuk, yuk!! 8. Consider myself a bit mad (in a nice way) and a good friend 9. In love to bits with hubby. Trully, one of the Earth's 'trully good guys' 10. Love your blog, Helen. It's a highlight on mind-boring work days

Posted by: Pinkraton at October 21, 2008 11:02 AM (5yqnf)

22 Hi. I'm Heather. I used to blog @ www.innoparticularorder.blogspot.com and we swapped comments sometimes. Since I stopped blogging, for some reason, I stopped commenting anywhere. I'm the dreaded lurker, but I'm taking this opportunity to de-lurk. I'm Wilmington, NC, usually reading from my blackberry. I have a little girl a few months younger than your twins (11/26/07). She has that stride to ride lion that your twins have and she LOVES it - greatest toy ever seriously. I'm married to a guy who actually helps parent and does more housework than me. I went back to school, grew up, and now I'm an RN. I miss blogging. I love being a mommy. I hate wearing socks. I can't wait to move back to the midwest (here for his MFA). My dog thinks she pays the rent here. Alright, that's all I've got - not very interesting. It feels good to delurk.

Posted by: Heather at October 21, 2008 11:02 AM (A6OIT)

23 I decided to major in computer science after seeing the movie The Net (in the theater) at the age of 16. I've been hooked on the internet ever since. I have two cats and two dogs and might possibly have more if I didn't know my husband would kill me for even thinking it. I'm on my second husband and I believe I did a MUCH better job picking this one out. I have an irrational fear of fish. Ridiculous, I know, but even the thought of being near a fish that could possibly touch me makes me anxious. This makes trips to the beach kind of hard. I've been reading here forever it seems like.

Posted by: Erin at October 21, 2008 11:28 AM (IPMSz)

24 two kids...boy and girl two exhusbands two years since I got engaged tooooo much stress

Posted by: Mitzi at October 21, 2008 11:34 AM (1lvSv)

25 Let's see I'm 39 living in Florida with three kids, two are adopted and our little "uh oh" just turned 2 on Saturday. I stay at home and raise the kids and some times I think I'm going to go absolutely insane not talking to adults. Since marrying my husband we move all the time for his job. He came home two months ago and said "hey we may move to an hour outside London for my job" my first thought was Helen lives near there! I'm not a stalker I promise. This did not pan out and now he has another job in another part of Florida. He didn't understand why I was distraught, hm, hot Fla. or London you do the math. I love reading your blog and when you were giving birth to your twins I think I read every one of your old posts. I cannot wait for the election and hopefully we will get it right this time, go Obama! I am on an anti-depressant for the first time in my life and it is wonderful and sad at the same time. Thanks for the mike, now back to you.....

Posted by: Judi at October 21, 2008 11:37 AM (1Y+4Z)

26 I'm really a dude.

Posted by: statia at October 21, 2008 11:50 AM (GXxYO)

27 I'm f**king Matt Damon!

Posted by: Bee Cee at October 21, 2008 12:25 PM (eJQge)

28 just a few...... 1. i'm 32, my fiance is 29, we live in georgia, our wedding is november 8.... (2 weeks to go!) hoping for babies soon after 2. i actually was introduced to your blog by an ex-boyfriend and frequent poster to your blog, joey (remember him?!) about 5 years ago - i remember your traveling bear and he was excited about his turn to get her (and i admit i was actually a tad jealous of a girl living across the ocean...) 3. i have a psych degree and write adoption studies for foster children from home (love it!) 4. i have a wonderful bichon-poodle mix, daphne, who gives the best kisses 5. i am a cradle catholic, avid republican, and am fairly conservative in most of my views, yet i am still drawn to read your blog on a daily basis, even though we have alot of differing views :0) --- that is how good of a writer you are!!

Posted by: deborah at October 21, 2008 12:31 PM (rKKNH)

29 You already know a lot about me--including my real name. I'm not sure what to add, othere than I haven't been around much due to my recent addiction to Internet Crack

Posted by: ~Easy at October 21, 2008 12:32 PM (IVGWz)

30 been reading you for a couple of years....love your writing style and perspective... I'm a newish Mom too- to a little wonder girl who's 2 and a bit and totally rocks my world... I live and work in Toronto, Canada Married to her Super Dad We're blessed and we know it.....

Posted by: Kris at October 21, 2008 12:40 PM (reI78)

31 1. I'm 25, a college grad, recently married, and have two dogs who I adore. 2. I loathe my job with the fire of a 1000 suns. Like you, I am currently looking for a new one. 3. My commute is 1.5 hours each way. I'm a bit weary of that too. 4. I was adopted when I was 3 years old, along with my brother and half sister. 5. Our adoptive mother is schizophrenic, and emotional abuse is her specialty. 6. My brother is a convicted felon. He robbed a convenience store with a knife. 7. My sister is a heroin addict. Her 3 month old son died last November, and my niece was taken from her home. 8. I have the coolest dad in the whole world. 9. I'm obsessed with Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series, in a way that probably makes me look unhinged, but I don't really care. 10. I want to have kids more than anything else in this world. And hope I can be as good a mom as you are to your beautiful babies

I hope you receive some comforting news from the new tests! I've never met you, but I do worry about how you're doing. Heather

Posted by: Heather at October 21, 2008 12:49 PM (s0rhn)

32 I just turned 40. I have two kids, and the best husband anyone could ever ask for.

Posted by: Kristen at October 21, 2008 12:50 PM (pB1g/)

33 Today, I'm pondering whether it was such a good idea to get pregnant. :-(

Posted by: Tracy at October 21, 2008 01:01 PM (eiiGE)

34 Hi Helen. I first came to your blog(s) through my cousin Marie's (Blue Ridge blog) and have been a faithful reader for a couple of years. I'm in my 40's, single, no kids of my own (but 7 wonderful nieces and nephews). Hang in there, kiddo. Suze

Posted by: Suze at October 21, 2008 01:08 PM (0doyF)

35 Let's see... you know that I'm an academic. You know that I have a kid who was an "itty bitty baby" (as she calls herself). Did you know that I grew up in Oklahoma? Stillwater, to be precise. I'm a faculty brat. Did you know that I'm a proud Mac user? Does that matter anymore? Did you know that I spent part of last Sunday afternoon digging really gross soupy compost into our nascent vegetable garden, where my kid has decided we will grow tomatoes and bell peppers? Did you know that the furnace salesman who was supposed to be here at 9 am is not here yet? Here's hoping you have the garden variety EDS and not the super-wacky kind.

Posted by: Sarah at October 21, 2008 01:10 PM (D37sb)

36 Hi Helen. I commented once before, but normally I'm a lurker. My baby boy will be one in one month's time, and I am just absolutely not ready for him to be one. Next he'll be two, and then three and before I know it he'll be 18 and then he'll be leaving home and how will I cope?? I thought you could relate. Good luck with the EDS testing (and the meeting, and the job stuff).

Posted by: anna at October 21, 2008 01:14 PM (ff/TO)

37 We have a few things in common - Texas and Military - but mostly we're different. I'm older (way older) and I'm more conservative. But there are times when you write that it's like you crawled inside my head. That is astonishingly remarkable considering I never told anyone those thoughts. You know a lot more about me than 99% of Internet Denizens, so I'll leave it at that. I read your blog because I love how you describe your life - the good and the bad - and while it's all fantastical (GIRL! You live overseas in a fabulous house you helped make over with your own two hands! With gorgeous twin babies that two out of three scientists didn't believe you could carry!) and still you make it all down to earth. In my family, we call that "real."

Posted by: Margi at October 21, 2008 01:21 PM (HFOE4)

38 Statia just made me spit my coffee at the screen I have three great kids. one lousy ex husband who is missing them grow up into wonderful people. I have been reading your blog for years and years lol. I have a blog but have not blogged on it in over eight months now. I kept it pretty private anyway. Thinking about starting to blog again and go public but having a little cold feet about it. I have had more problems with my body the past 3 years than I care to think about. Hopefully they are over with! I am stuck in a long term relationship that I don't think I want to be in any more. That is the first time I have written/said that to anyone. I miss the west coast to almost a debilitating affect. I am looking to go back to school so I can be something when I grow up, I just don't know what yet. I have been lucky enough (up until a few years ago) to be able to work mostly part time and be home for my children. I should be looking for a job instead of commenting here as the doctors think I will be able to go back to work soon.woo hoo!

Posted by: justme at October 21, 2008 01:23 PM (H7HmL)

39 Hi Helen, I have been reading your blog for several years and have always enjoyed your writing. I comment every now and then but mostly I'm a lurker. I just turned 40 this year. Married 16 years, 2 kids, 2 dogs, and 2 cats. I recently went through an extremely stressful time at work and ended up leaving that job for a new position in my company. I started my new job last week and do not miss my old job at all. Best of luck to you in your interview!

Posted by: Trainy at October 21, 2008 01:28 PM (4Pleu)

40 Wow! There's so much happening in your life right now. Good luck with that option and hope many more open up for you. I also hope that you only have the bad, not the really bad, joints. As far as me, I love to dance in the snow and anxiously await the first snowfall here in Montana so the kids and I can go frolic in it.

Posted by: malenkka at October 21, 2008 01:31 PM (qtX0n)

41 29 years old. Finally have a job that has a future and that I love, that has me on track for a promotion. I'm flooded with sudden but constant anxiety about whether I can live up to this. But I've got to go for it because I'm sick of drowning in debt. Been living with someone for over a year now. It is still bliss. He is lovely. But he's having a hard time right now, feeling depressed and lost facing the holidays after losing both his parents. His job prospects are not so good. I can't make it better for him and I feel helpless. But we are still happy to see each other at the end of the day and that's a blessing for both of us. No kids for us. I used to say NO KIDS EVER. I haven't exactly changed my mind but....... I'm starting to think sometimes "well maybe". Imagining what a combination of the two of us would come out like. I would not have predicted that. Maybe there is something to this biological clock thing. I'll be 30 in a few months so decision time is fast approaching. I'm not even trying to predict the future anymore. Just hanging on for the ride.

Posted by: lizvelrene at October 21, 2008 01:39 PM (/U190)

42 This is it then, my big chance to add 6" to my height, knock off 6kg from my weight, be blonde and called Erin. Fantasy aside, I jacked in the job from hell to stay at home with the baby (now

. I don't know what state I'd be in if I hadn't jumped ship when I did, I just wish I'd done it sooner. I hate housework with a passion and I've got no better at it over the years other than if there was a speed ironing category in the Olympics I'd be a shoe in for the gold. I could make you a sweater starting with a sheep so I would have some useful skills in a post apocalyptic world. I am just about the oldest mummy at the school gate and have been mistaken for granny/the childminder/foster carer. I wouldn't mind quite so much but I'm only 45.

Posted by: Caroline M at October 21, 2008 01:40 PM (x3QDi)

43 Hmmm so you want to know about us huh? Well first of all, you don't really know me, I have commented a couple of times but I still feel like a vouyer reading your blog, as you are so honest and forthcoming and I don't even know you! I guess you really are my every day stranger. OK that sounds totally cheesy and stupid lol! Anyway, I am like you in that I am a foreigner in a different land. I am from NZ but live in America as that's where my hubby is from. We met online 9 years ago, a fact that I am horribly embarrassed about and I hate it - I visibly cringe when people ask how we met. Hubby thinks it's cool, I don't. But 9 years and 3 kids later it seems to have worked. Maybe I should just get over it? When I grow up I, too, like some of your other readers, want to be like you! I mean, I would like to have a blog where I am brutally honest about everything. I have a 'nice' blog where I talk about sunshine and roses. OK not exactly but you get the point. I have also known the pain of trying to have a baby - I have an ex hubby and together we had 4 miscarriages. Then I married hubby #2 and it seems like the babies wouldn't stop. Me thinks hubby #1 was not the right match for me, and that when his cruel mother said there must be something wrong with me, she just might have been a tad wrong

And finally, I have no idea how I found your blog. Probably as a link from some other random blog I came across, but I am subscribed and am a faithful reader. It's been great reading about your other readers so thanks for asking us to do this! I hope you can feel better soon in all areas of your life - mind, body and spirit!!

Posted by: Joanna at October 21, 2008 01:46 PM (Svb1b)

44 I've commented here a couple of times but mostly I just read and send support vibes. I'm 34, originally from upstate NY, moved around a bit (NC, SC, VT) and am now settled on Cape Cod MA with my great husband and kitty. I was an English major in college, started grad school but quit, and I have had a passion for books my whole life. Favorite is Howards End. I studied abroad in London my junior year of college and am really yearning to go back. I found you through your infertility blog and migrated over here when you stopped writing there. i am seriously infertile--somedays I feel like I must be the least fertile 34 year old ever. I've been doing treatments for 4 years, and just did my trigger shot for my current IVF cycle this morning at 1:15. This cycle almost got converted to an IUI but my kind doctor is allowing me to continue with 2 or 3 underachieving follicles. I took over a year break from treatments, and starting again has rekindled all those agonizing feelings and doubts. I don't have my own blog, though I've considered it many times. Despite this, I feel very connected to the blogging community, which is weird since I'm not really a part of it. It's odd how you can develop an attachment to someone you don't actually know and who doesn't know you exist! I am, as always, wishing you nothing but the best.

Posted by: Lea at October 21, 2008 02:15 PM (frCRL)

45 I've been reading your blog for years, rooting for you all the way. Your candor helped me recognize my own depression, and I got help. I hope the healh issues resolve into something manageable and that the babies dodge the hereditary bullet. I live in Berkeley and cringe at the sight of Birkenstocks, but I'm still a big ole' Lefty compared to most of the rest of my countrypeople. I believe in things like individual choice and equal rights for everyone, not just those in power. And now I believe I'm going to fall over unless I get another cup of tea in me. Best wishes to you and the family. Good luck on the new job.

Posted by: LynD at October 21, 2008 02:27 PM (2F9Ak)

46 I hope you don't have the really bad kind of EDS. Been reading your blog for a few years and think you're great. You've been an inspiraiton to me on more than one occasion and I sometimes find myself thinking, "What would Helen do?"

I also have friends in publishing if that should ever prove useful to you. Trying to lurk less and comment more. -I am 28 -work as an assistant in midtown Manhattan -live in Brooklyn -degree in Women's Studies -not happy with what I do for a living but need the money -two sisters, one fraternal twin (8 minutes older)in AZ, one 3 years older in NM -taking a Scottish Gaelic class -want to move to Scotland but having a hard time figuring out how -like to run and read Alexander McCall Smith books -love cheese and wine -big Sting and Jack Johnson fan

Posted by: Meg at October 21, 2008 02:32 PM (1OdWO)

47 Hi! I'm Liz or (wizood), but you know me as Suzanne from www.womanhearmerant.blogspot.com. I've moved to my very own page. I've been reading your website for many years (5 I think) and we've gone through your divorce, my marriage, my childbirth, your child(rens) birth, my breastfeeding woes and PPD, your PPD, and all kinds of other things. Once I went to London (5 years ago) and thought about meeting you in a pub for a beer, but then thought that no, that might seem weirdly internet stalkerish and instead just wondered around the streets of London squinting really hard at people when I thought it might be you. I live in Minnesota, am 28, have 1 daughter, and work in corporate America (yuck).

Posted by: wizood at October 21, 2008 02:38 PM (Y3C5w)

48 I'll try to be brief. 31 living in Orlando, still, even though both hubby and I hate it and would prefer someplace more like Alaska. Halloween will be my 5th wedding anniversary. We've been together 9.5 years. First husband was an abusive ass. I prayed for a Godly man, and God gave me a jerk. God and I don't communicate much anymore. I desperately want children but fear the sins of my youth have made me unable. Since hubby doesn't want kids, there's no point getting tested to confirm my fears. Anyway, I'm running my first marathon in January, so it's not like I can get pregnant before then anyway. Thanks for donating, btw. I'm getting so close to my fundraising goal! Helen, I truly hope to meet you some day. I'm holding out hope that youse guys will plan a vaca to Orlando when the Harry Potter area opens at Universal Studios. I am a blogger stalker, but so far, that I know of, no bloggers have been harmed by meeting me! I think I first found you when a certain famous conservative blogger linked to you and caused you great trauma. But I may have been here once or twice before from other blogs before that. I've been unemployed since 9/29 and am starting to be very concerned about that. I'd appreciate happy thoughts that my perfect job will present itself (it already has) and hire me ASAP. I'm very worried because we cannot pay bills on one income only.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at October 21, 2008 02:40 PM (0Pi1o)

49 Well, I've talked to you multiple times before and outlined my entire life story, I think. You probably don't remember (twins, friends, fiance, lots going on in your world!) but if you keep your e-mails you can search for jenaside.

So here's something random that I probably didn't mention before. When I was in high school, I was in DECA. I won a lot of awards and my senior year I went on to international competitions where I placed fourth in the world in the category of restaurant management. What an important award.

(And I don't work in restaurants, hahaha.)

Posted by: Jenaside (aaron-n-jen.com) at October 21, 2008 02:44 PM (tDesp)

50 My worries these days surround the lives of friends of mine who are choosing to turn a blind eye towards that which they would not tolerate for their own sisters and friends.

Posted by: Ms. Pants at October 21, 2008 03:02 PM (+p4Zf)

51 Hi, I'm Solomon, and I used to be an "Approval Addict". (from the audience) "Hi Solomon." About 10 years ago, I got more confident (not over confident, mind you) and just stopped needing other people's approval. I still LIKE approval from people I consider important (wife, children, certain friends, parents,...) but don't really need it. I'm 42 and 2 weeks ago had my first real "old man" incident. While lifting a soccer (or football) goal, I hurt my lower back. The spine, not the muscles. It still hurts, so I'll probably go to the doctor next week. Feel free to e-mail me at MGrubb@vwstores.com if you know anything about caring for "herniated" or "ruptured" disks...especially if it doesn't involve a doctor.

I love most sports, am a computer programmer, and am very much a creature of habit. I really like hanging out here, and hearing y'all's views. While Helen and I are polar opposites in some things, I think we're similar in some others...that may make her cringe.

In all seriousness, I'm EXTREMELY sorry to hear about your diagnosis Helen and am praying you don't have the REALLY bad kind.

Posted by: Solomon at October 21, 2008 03:14 PM (al5Ou)

52 1) I just graduated with a bachelor's in writing this May, and I'm planning to start my master's in the same area of study. This is probably good because everyone in my family has a doctorate, and because writing is the only thing I'm cut out for that pays. 2) You gave me some excellent travel tips for London in January. 3) I'm 24. 4) I've never wanted kids, or even liked most of them, but I think yours are just stinking adorable. 5) I can't drive because of debilitating migraines. 6) I've been with the boyfriend almost 5 years, and there will be a marriage after academics are completed. 7) I keep a blog, but it's private. If you had a username on the journal where I keep it, you'd be on the shortlist.

I'm currently estranged from both of my parents. 9) I'm sad because I shopped at Evans while I was in London and we don't have it here and I miss it. 10) Your blog is my favorite, and reading it makes me want to either hang out with you or be your pen pal... no joke.

Posted by: Meg at October 21, 2008 03:30 PM (MpbMR)

53 1. My name is Jen. I'm 31, single, go to law school in Boston. 2. I've been a long, long time lurker. I have been reading you back when you used to work in Sweden. Your experiences helped me be ok with going to a crazy hospital over a year ago when I was suicidal. I thank you for that. 3. My mom is from Guatemala and my dad is from Iraq. I'm happy to be so diverse. My brother seems to want to forget being so diverse. It makes me sad. 4. That being said, neither community fully accepts me. I used to be really mad about it. Now I figure it's their loss. 5. Reading your blog nowadays makes my ovaries ache. In a good way. Even though babies are further down the road for me. 6. My dad is currently in a dangerous part of the world translating for the US army. Homeland security listens to my conversations with him. Every time I talk to him, I make sure to take a moment to tell Homeland security what an idiot our current president is. I also call them a bunc of assholes. This annoys my dad who has bought into the conservative crap the army feeds him. 7. I don't know what I would do if you didn't blog anymore.

Posted by: Jen at October 21, 2008 04:33 PM (gofT3)

54 - I am a wife and mother of two boys who are 6 and 12 years old. - I am a sys admin for a defense agency. - I led my family to TX 4 years ago so my boys could be near their grandparents and their great grandmother. - I have found There are huge challenges with living near my parents. - My husband and I left our hearts in Colorado, as time passes, I fear the damage I could cause my children when we get the motivation to move back. - I am home today caring for my husband who just had surgery on his nose - My manager is an arrogant ass who would never let me work from home even tho my job is totally portable - he just likes to micromanage and is suffocating our team. - The sun is shining and my dog Zoie and kitty Sylvester are sleeping on each side of my lap. Hope you find a nice way to unwind after a complicated day of travel.

Posted by: steff at October 21, 2008 04:38 PM (rLFlA)

55 Another Jennifer in a sea of Jennifers born in the 1970Â’s. This one is from Minnesota. I started reading your blog back before you were pregnant with the twins. I donÂ’t recall now how I got to your blog. Probably through another infertility blog. IÂ’m actually not infertile. I became interested in infertility after the birth of my son 3.5 years ago when I really realized what a miracle he is and started thinking about a co-worker of mine who did a lot to have a biological child (I apologize for summarizing her journey with Â‘a lotÂ’ but I heard about it mostly over 5 years ago when I had no frame of reference so I do not know what treatments etc she would have tried) and she ended up adopting 3 boys right before my son was born. This co-worker and I are not friends. But we are similar. She was born in January 1970, me November 1970. We are both overweight. She is one of these bitter, angry people Â– I suspect her infertility didnÂ’t help this but I think she was bitter and unhappy before that. Ok that was a long explanation as to what got me involved in reading infertility blogs. But since then IÂ’ve branched into all sorts of blogs. Back in the late 90Â’s I used to frequent a message board and had a Â‘communityÂ’ of friends there Â– we were fairly close, would get together sometimes. I still read the blog of the founder of the community. There they had a chat room. Chat rooms of the late 90s were such charmed places. At least ours was. I could chat all day long at work (at the time I worked in health insurance and HATED it with a passion). But I found I started falling out of synch with the group. Then I landed on blogs. I love reading blogs. I tried to write one for awhile but just couldnÂ’t get into the habit. To me blogs are like Â‘real fictionÂ’ Â– ie, stories happening to real people every day. I just love it. I read all the time anyway. IÂ’d rather read than watch TV at all. But I do watch TV for news and a few other programs. I loved Buffy the vampire slayer. Ok so any paragraph that starts with my name and ends with Buffy the vampire slayer must be one odd paragraph. But to sum up recent events. I met my husband when I was 30. we met through a personal ad online. So it is not a classic Â‘onlineÂ’ relationship (as we met immediately after meeting through the ad) but still the internet helped me find my husband. We got married in 2003. HeÂ’s 6 months younger than me and I love to make him nuts by saying we are the same age. (no honey you are 37, IÂ’m still 36). I got my BS in Nutrition in dietetics which I thought at the time was a smart thing to do Â– I knew so many people that got degrees in liberal arts that I thought IÂ’d be different and go for the BS. Ha! Although I like nutrition somehow being overweight does not lend a lot of credibility to being a nutritionist. I wasnÂ’t at the time I got the degree but these things happen. What they donÂ’t tell you about getting a BS is the long road ahead to become an RD which I was too in debt to try and do. So I got a job I hated at Medica and left there after 3 years to work in one of the myriad of medical device industries in the Twin Cities (if you know anything about the medical device industry and I mention IÂ’m working at the one that was founded here you can figure out which one I work at). I have been here for almost 8 years and what I do is super boring and very un-stressful (customer service) but I get underpaid for this privilege. And I find I like leaving work, shutting off the computer, and not having to think about work a single moment IÂ’m at home with my son and husband. Even at almost 38 years old I feel that I could do better but have lots of time to do so. I love the company and do not wish to leave it but I have plenty of time to focus on my career when my son is older. So we come to my son. When I think about it IÂ’m simply amazed that he showed up so quickly and easily. I had the deck stacked against me (I was 33 and overweight) but I went off birth control and bam! I was pregnant. So I know how fortunate I am. Three and a half is such a fun age. Challenging but super fun. The stuff he comes up with to talk about. Last night I shut off Mickey Mouse clubhouse (we have to watch MM Every. Single. Day. I even went to MM live a couple weeks ago. He LOVED it) and David Gergen was on C.N.N talking about politics. My son looks at the TV, points to it, and tells me very matter of fact Â‘ThatÂ’s not grandpaÂ’. I just laughed and laughed because it is true, David Gergen is not my sonÂ’s grandpa nor does my sonÂ’s grandpa look anything like David Gergen. And my dad is not on TV much (or like at all really). I will tell you though that everything you hear about the challenges of toilet training a 3 year old boy are true. I so want to be done but he doesnÂ’t want to be. Make it be done!!! I would love to have another, my husband would love to not have another. But IÂ’ll be 38 on election day so IÂ’m guessing it wonÂ’t happen. And the overweight thing again. I feel fortunate to have the one and if another one happens great. If not IÂ’m content. Wow this is like an essay. Sorry about that. Hope it isnÂ’t too boring. Oh and I will mention this is the first time ever IÂ’ve had a sign in my yard for a president. I actually sent money to the BarakObama store and bought a sign to stick in our yard. I had to, it was the only choice. Thanks for the opportunity to talk about myself!

Posted by: jennifer at October 21, 2008 04:52 PM (6JvP5)

56 I'm nearly 29. I live in Orlando, Florida. I have read you faithfully for years. I have blogged for five years. It does not match the likeness of yours. I have two dogs, three cats, and I want children. I am getting married to Hubby #2 next October. My first husband was an ass and your kind emails got me through. Thank you. We have a mutual friend - CTG. I think you are absolutely riveting.

Posted by: Lauren at October 21, 2008 04:54 PM (Pt1kf)

57 I am 51, act like I'm 21, (it still amazes me that I can buy booze), married for 17 years to a really good guy, (although there have been times that I wasthisclose to leaving him, but now we are older we have settled down to no drama), have two years to retire, have been going to school for another career that I can work part time to buy gas for my motorhome so I can travel, have 3 big doofy dogs, aging parents, two kids by a previous marriage, 5 grandkids, and some days all I want to be is a missing person. And I worry about you. And agree with what Ms. Pants said.

Posted by: Donna at October 21, 2008 05:04 PM (uBbme)

58 You already know a fair bit about me, but I'll share a bit more: I once worked on a project for the space shuttle, thereby making the international space station a possibility which, unfortunately, it isn't as yet. And no, the part I worked did not in any way fail. I was programmer/data analyst for almost 10 years. During that time, I met the woman who became-and remains- my wife and the love of my life. I'm currently employed as a nuclear engineer. I'm an ordained minister and have presided over 3 weddings. While I had thought that I was retired, there is a strong possibility that my brother-in-law will ask me to officiate at his wedding near the end of this year. I was a su chef for 13+ years. It was a pretty good gig and it got me through grad school. More importantly, I'm a pretty fair cook. Just ask my wife. I have 2-1/2 children; #3 is on the way. They have brought joy into my life that I never thought possible. Hmmm. What else can I bore you with? I've run 6 half-marathons in the past and plan to run another this year after a 10 year layoff. So, you know, training sucks and all. One final thing: I consider myself fortunate for having stumbled onto this blog, and you along with it. And I'm always rooting for you. Take care, Helen.

Posted by: physics geek at October 21, 2008 05:12 PM (MT22W)

59 Hi, I have lurked here for years now, I think about 3... This is the only blog that I read and I have never commented before. I'm 28 and a teacher in the UK. This term has been busy, I started a long distance relationship with someone that I've known for 14 years in the summer and finished my MA this month. I really love your blog, it is very funny, moving and inspirational. I hope that you don't have the really bad version of EDS!

Posted by: Catherine at October 21, 2008 05:22 PM (BQzI6)

60 * I've been reading your blog forever, it seems, and I have come to consider you a friend; I check in with you first thing every morning with my coffee. I don't know what I'd do if you suddenly decided to quit sharing your life online. * I had a "starter marriage" that didn't work out because my husband turned out to be an amazing asshole, which he'd managed to cover up long enough for us to get married. That said, he taught me things about myself I never would have known without him. He also introduced me to my current husband, for which I am eternally grateful because I think we're soul-mates (even if we have moments of not seeing eye to eye). * I work at home, for a company that provides moderation services and takes itself so seriously that I had to sign a confidentiality agreement. I love my job and the fact that it allows me to be here with my kids when they get home from school, although working at home isn't always all it's cracked up to be. I love that my "work clothes" are my most comfortable pair of pajamas. * I drive a 24 year old car and love it so much I find places to drive just so I can commune with it. It's also big enough that if my husband and I want to go away for a weekend we could either cram it full of camping gear or we could take just a mattress and a sleeping bag, lower the back seat and sleep in the car. * If I had known that a motorcycle would make my husband (and therefore me) so happy I would have found a way to get him one 15 years ago. Seriously. * I was not trying to get pregnant when I had my first child and he turned out to be a dream child. I had to talk my husband into our second child and he is hyper-intelligent and very challenging to parent. Someday he will either be a rocket scientist or a mad scientist. I have to remind him sometimes to use his powers for Good. * I tried to be a good step-parent but I think it was too late to make any real difference after my step-son had already been exposed to so much trauma and confusion in his early life. I'm trying to live with feeling like a failure after not being able to "save" him. * I have a bit of a savior complex and want to be able to fix everything. * I live in what I consider the most beautiful part of the world and the thought of someday moving back to where my husband grew up terrifies me to no end. If I could have everything I want I would have homes in both places and be able to travel back and forth whenever we wished. * I didn't have the best relationship with my mother, who died in May 2007. I am estranged from my father and he's only ever met one of my children - my son was 9 months old at the time. I'm ok with it, mostly, but sometimes I wonder if my kids should have had the opportunity to get to know him. Then I put it out of my mind for another few months/years. * I think in bullets and lists. * I used to do musical theater in high school and the years right after - everything from Snoopy!!! to Jesus Christ Superstar to Fiddler on the Roof - and I still sing some of the songs to myself. * I participated in spelling bees when I was in elementary school and nearly won the state contest once. One of my biggest pet peeves is poor spelling to this day. * When I started this list I had no idea what I might write that you hadn't already heard at one point or another, but I think I came up with a couple items.

Best of luck with the meeting, the job interviews, and with the doctors. PS: My husband told me I need to quit reading about EDS because it's freaking me out a little bit, but I can't make myself stop. I have a slight heart murmur, hyperflexible joints and a tendency to bruise easily, none of which have ever been explained. My mother died of complications from Rheumatoid Arthritis, a heart irregularity, and an aortal aneurysm - I guess I should probably start being pro-active and get myself to a doctor as soon as I have insurance again but I have put it off because I'm scared. You are helping me to conquer the fear and just *do* something. I still don't really want to because I'm not in constant pain and the anxiety over it all is currently manageable. If I don't know about it, it can't hurt me. Maybe. I have never said that out loud to anyone but my husband before and now I've gone and told the entire internet. See the effect you have on people?

Posted by: Lisa at October 21, 2008 05:31 PM (hkgEp)

61 If you really want to know... I'm a 34 year old former PR executive turned homemaker and mother of 15 month old boy/girl twins. Although I love being home with my kids, I detest the term "stay at home mom" - sounds like a type of incarceration. I studied journalism in college and still dream of writing my own column one day. Would likely help said dream if I did a public blog, but husband is afraid of putting our lives "out there" and I must agree or I'd be doing it. Found a kindred spirit in you Helen, as we share our infertility struggles and subsequent miracle twins, the ability to deal with both drama and elation by writing it out, a tendency toward perfectionism, a passion for all things food and wine and a love of 80's music and Eva Cassidy. I'm known to be a very happy, optimistic person, but inside I'm always a bit melancholy - and I like it that way.

Posted by: Jeannine at October 21, 2008 05:33 PM (zfPGY)

62 Something about me: I love fonts. Covet them, love them, stare at them.

Posted by: Mel at October 21, 2008 05:34 PM (hNbAR)

63 I am a teacher and mom to five children. My youngest is one month younger than Nick and Nora and the oldest is 12. I live in TN but am still a MS gal at heart. I've been reading your blog since you found out you were expecting twins. Your blog is my favorite!

Posted by: ekuz at October 21, 2008 05:35 PM (Cc9Pe)

64 Hi Helen - I've been reading your blog for awhile now. I'm not even sure how I found it. Probably through some infertility link or something. I started reading a little bit before your twins were born. I am a 37 year old stay at home mom living on Long Island, New York. Although I am originally from California. I finally have a beautiful 3 month old son after trying to conceive for more than 10 years. He was conceived through IUI. I developed pre-eclampsia and he was delivered at 33 weeks. I enjoy reading your blog because it gives me an escape from some of the sad and stressful moments in my life. I've enjoyed reading the stories about your life, family and seeing the images of your sweet babies. Thanks for giving me a break when I need it.

Posted by: asinc at October 21, 2008 06:36 PM (Ub7te)

65 I am a German graduate student living in a dorm in Illinois; I have a boyfriend much too far away in Massachusetts. This pretty much means my family life is nonexistent, and I like to borrow those of other people, including yours. Only for the two minutes it takes me to read a post, though. Oh, and I have tinnitus, which means my ears ring constantly and it does terrible things to your ability to concentration. It drives me nuts and there is no cure, so I can sympathize with your medical situation. Good luck with everything!

Posted by: Beth at October 21, 2008 06:37 PM (w8eBD)

66 Kind of new to this blog, found you through... I don't know, probably another blog, possibly from a flickr friend... random clicking... Me 1) 24, turning 25 at the end of the year 2) Single (... ) 3) Work at a university, doing web stuff 4) Taking Masters classes for a degree in Instructional Technology. Online. 5) Spend far too much time on my computer. Seriously. Far too much. 6) Life goals - to get married, to have children, to buy a house, to become a better photographer 7) Scared of horses I'm fascinated by everyone that has posted here - wow, so many different types of people who read this blog, such a fascinating cross-section of people out there. Love your blog, your honesty, and looking forward to reading more.

Posted by: Kelly Anne at October 21, 2008 07:06 PM (CUa17)

67 I think you know about me already, but I was here today.

Posted by: kenju at October 21, 2008 07:29 PM (8o6aU)

68 I'm a 29 year old computer nerd who lives in Oak Forest, IL. It's a small suburb of Chicago. I'm turning 30 in February and I'm starting to have a mini-life crisis about it.

Posted by: Theresa at October 21, 2008 07:52 PM (g2WoN)

69 Funny isn't it?! We are all meant to be here to learn about you but the minute you ask 'us' about oursevles we all talk! Well, i have been reading since the Swedish dark days, i hope to continue to cheer from the cheap seats for a long time to come. I don't 'know' you but i have come to care about you and your lovely family. I live and work close to the area you moved to with Angus (don't worry, not stalker close!) I work with the turely disadvantaged in society in a difficult but rewarding job that make some choose to talk to others at social gatherings! I also work with prisoners on death row in my spare time - i know, total conversation killer! I have a childish love of fairies hence the email. I am 30, married to a wonderful boy i meet in my teens. I am somewhere left of ghandi, i am left handed, dyslexic, i have two degrees and an MSC, i try to be a good friend and value my family and friends above all else. I like to take pictures, drink tea, laugh, eat good food, travel, look at the stars, 'make things', read, watch re-runs of miss marple, love Joan Hickson and write and receive letters. I think that is more than you could possibly want to know. I hope your readership does not scare you! Abs x

Posted by: abs at October 21, 2008 08:13 PM (GAcqT)

70 I've been reading you for a long time--since long before you had your beautiful babies. I think one of the first things I read of yours was about Kim and that loss. Both kinds--the break up of your relationship and his actual bodily death. I know this sounds morbid, but I read it over and over. I hoped it would help me to know that people adjust to these sorts of things. I use "adjust" purposely. . . because there are certain things people don't ever get over. Not that my beloved died. We spent 16 years together (college, medical school, residency, etc.) He helped me raise my(smart and beautiful) now-24 year-old from the time she was 18 months old. We were crazy about each other. We were, unfortunately, also crazy with each other. So in 2000, we broke up. Forever. But not until after I had undergone an abortion at the tail end of the relationship at his behest. "Vast suckage" does not begin to describe how I felt about this... how I feel about this even now. He was mostly selfish and spoiled, but I was no angel, either, and probably. . . no, I couldn't have fixed it. We really were not meant to be. We have not talked since the split which was ugly and horrible and one for the history books. Scary confession: sometimes, I still miss him. Scary confession two: sometimes, I dream about him and when I wake up, for just a brief moment, I think we are still together. Sometimes, upon true consciousness, I am relieved, but always, maybe a little bit sad? At 40, I married a man 20 years my senior. I am wife #4. The first two times he was married were for seven and 15 years, respectively. The third time only for five, because that wife died of an absolutely horrendous form of brain cancer. He has two grown children who positively adore me (I am LUCKY!), and I am now a grandmother to 6! He is nothing like the ex, and I love, love, love him. I also know that it is highly likely that he will die before me, and no matter how long we get together, it will not be enough. I don't like that. At. All. We, do not however, have the same kinds of conversation that I was once accustomed to (he's kind of a loner-cowboy type), and sometimes I am very lonely. But who isn't? I have an MA in English, with a concentration in creative writing. I was a poet for a long time. Now I work for a large accounting firm in their marketing dept. It pays well, and I love the people I work with, although this corporate life always feels like a struggle for a person of my less-tnan-conservative appearance and opinions. I rarely write poetry anymore. But at least, I will be able to pay off the almost-six-figure financial debt my fancy degree cost me. However, I wouldn't have traded that experience for the world. But I'd trade the debt in a heartbeat. I would say that I am mostly happy with a propensity for great anxiety and regret. They are not mutually exclusive. As you know. I love, honor, and cherish my girlfriends with the deepest and most constant loyalty and devotion. I do not know what I'd do without any of them. I am lucky to have a nice-sized circle of "best friends," and now that my daughter is 24, she shares them with me! Writing this was amazingly cathartic and the best way of ignoring my inbox. It, apparently, can wait until tomorrow.

Posted by: Deb at October 21, 2008 09:02 PM (GOFVL)

71 I first found you through one of your explored pictures on Flickr and followed your pictures for some time now. Several months back, I linked to your blog from your profile page and have been reading it ever since. I don't read blogs. Never had any interest in them, but I really like to read what you write and check your blog each day for more. I am a 31 year old male embedded software engineer living in Oregon. I like to think I'm really more like 16 though. I've been married for nearly 10 years now to a wonderful young woman, my high school sweetheart. We don't have any children, or any interest in having any of our own, but do enjoy watching other children interact and grow. I'm so glad you are willing to share this window into your life. So often your words really make me smile. Thank you Helen Adalaide. Christopher

Posted by: Mr.Thomas at October 21, 2008 09:46 PM (bB3uL)

72 1. I don't remember how I found your blog but I've checked it almost daily since I found it. 2. I found it just after you announced you were pregnant. I was in the midst of miscarriage and infertility. 3. I now have a 7 week old son. He is beautiful. 4. I also have struggled with depression and bulimia. 5. My husband wants to move to England so I'm always checking in on how you like it. (I currently live in the states) 6.I went to college for an art degree only to go right back to become a nurse. Now I'm a pediatric nurse. 7. I'm afraid I have Ehler-Danlos Syndrome as well, I have the joint flexibility and since pregnancy have a horrible pain in my a joint in my pelvis. I hope you don't have the horrible kind. 8.I used to write poetry, now I write it in my head when I drive but can't put it on paper. I'm not sure what that's about. 9.My husband is a musician and that's how I fell in love with him. 10. I love to read your blog and wish only good things for you. Love seeing the progress on the house and watching your kiddos grow! and 11 (because it's "one louder" (ignore that if you haven't seen Spinal Tap)) 11. I have my fingers crossed for you to get dream job. Hope for me I get one too.. I'm looking to change before my maternity leave is up in a few weeks. I really need a new job. Meredith

Posted by: Meredith at October 21, 2008 11:46 PM (1qnYt)

73 I comment here sometimes and yours is one of the first sites I go to in the morning. You and I have started many days together. What can I tell you about me? I honestly think I'm pretty boring, but, here we go: 1. I'm an avid knitter and just learned how to spin (make) my own yarn. The spinning isn't going as hot as you might think. I'm all thumbs at it. 2. I finished radiation treatments for Stage I Breast Cancer last month and had a lumpectomy in August. 3. I have a fear of being alone for the rest of my life. 4. I love to read--if I'm not knitting, I'm reading. Sometimes, I read about knitting (yes, I know. Told you I was boring!) 5. I'm estranged from my family and have been for 10 years. I've only recently begun to get back into contact with an uncle and that's still very new to me. 6. I love to travel even though a) I can't afford it and b) I'm slightly agorophobic. 7. I'm a wanna be ghost hunter. 8. I'm 35, working as a customer service rep for a major health insurance company. 9. I'm near sighted in one eye and far sighted in the other. 10. I'd love to move from Pittsburgh but probably never will

Posted by: Katy at October 21, 2008 11:50 PM (SUWze)

74 What to say when one finally crosses over from being a lurker? Actually commenting feels so strange I cannot even begin to tell you. IÂ’ve been an avid reader of your blog since what feels like forever. WeÂ’re talking pre-high school graduation here. Somehow I stumbled upon your page in the chaos of my grade ten year (2004) and have been a reader ever since. A fun, albeit geeky fact - I performed one of your blog posts for an audience monologue style. As for myself, IÂ’m now 20 - going to school and juggling two jobs and a crazy amazing group of friends. I live in Vancouver, B.C., and like yourself also have a serious affinity for pyjama pants and bubble baths. But all this is besides the point. Really, IÂ’m responding just to re-iterate after these seventy odd people that once again - youÂ’ve made a special impact on someoneÂ’s life. Thanks for that Helen.

Posted by: Mia at October 22, 2008 12:17 AM (fI/A1)

75 I'm about to do another IVF cycle. How's that for crazy ... but it's not for me. I'm going to be a carrier for my sister and her husband. Nutty right? I got 18 month old twins, and I might be pregnant again very soon!

Posted by: Caba at October 22, 2008 12:28 AM (odcjE)

76 Random facts about me: *I don't mix my foods. I will eat all of one thing on my plate before I move on to the next thing. *I get hives every month before I start my af. (lets everyone know when I am about to start!) I've been this way since May 2005. The hives stopped while I was pregnant. *I can pick things up and pinch with my toes. *I hate spiders. Seriously. Ugg. *People think I am confident, but I am really not. *I don't cook unless I absolutely have to--I do bake, though. *My favorite color is black, but that isn't really a color, so I tell people I like green. *I would let my husband scratch my back for-ev-er if he would. Why won't he? :-) *I can't spell worth a bean anymore because my students have ruined me. I see words misspelled all day long, and now I can't tell you what is right and wrong anymore. Sigh. *My dream jobs (if I wasn't doing what I am doing) would be a pilot or a meteorologist. How was that?

Posted by: Stacie at October 22, 2008 01:27 AM (p6L8W)

77 Brave girl to ask about all of us... Must be out of reading material... LOL! Hum... so what can I say about myself that you can't find out from my Facebook account... * Almost 40 and not dealing well at all with it. * Met hubby on a blind date. * 1 daughter + 1 son - lots of fertility drugs * My daughter looks just like me. My son looks like my husband. My son has spina bifida and uses a wheelchair to get around. * 2 miscarriages * I live in Tennessee. * Fortunately I love to travel. Last year I spent 32 days away from home on various trips to London (twice), Paris, Brighton (UK), Delhi (India), and Salt Lake City...ALL involving work in some capacity. * I'm currently a project manager; however, I was an accountant for well over a decade. * I work for a global company whose European operations are located in Brighton. * I've quite competitive by nature as well as outgoing; however, I really don't like parties where I only know a few people. I can't find anything to talk about with strangers at parties. BUT I can chat all day long w/ random people in line at Walmart/Target/etc. * I'm very short (5' tall). I started reading your blog a few years ago but for the life of me cannot recall how I found you.

Posted by: Michelle at October 22, 2008 02:24 AM (D241O)

78 I love your blog, and photos! I have been reading for years! I also have IVF twins, and they recently turned one, so now I can breath a little bit, and catch up with you. I am an ICU RN, but home caring for my babies now, not working at the hospital. I love to be outdoors and running and moving around and exploring and art and museums and politics and books. I love food and cooking and my astoundingly smart and good smelling husband of four years. And my friends. I love a lot of things, am not a very complex person I guess, kind of golden retriever-ish, hopefully a bit more clever. Fingers are always crossed for you and yours! Hugs from the mountains, Froofroo

Posted by: Froofrookins at October 22, 2008 02:24 AM (VmAQ5)

79 Some facts about me: -Have been reading since just after you moved to the the UK -Female, late thirties living in upstate NY -Grew up in the Netherlands and lived in the UK but neither Dutch nor English -Worked close to where you currently live -No kids, no partner and sometimes i worry I am far too content this way -Intense rewarding job but I worry I am hooked on the adrenaline -it can't be healthy but it is fun -Have had to accept that I am competitive, driven and probably a "type A" even though that is not part of my self image (gave my bother a good laugh when I told him about this discovery) -Hooked on yoga, and still amazed that the "hocus pokus" side appeals to me -Sometimes I miss California something fierce

Posted by: Nicole at October 22, 2008 02:27 AM (d8auS)

80 Hi Helen! Thought I'd join the party... it's like Post Secret on here! Let's see, about me... 1. Camino is not my real name. It's the name of my landlady when I lived in Spain 15 or so years ago. I just like it, snd I don't think she'd mind that I "borrow" it. 2. I've been reading your blog forever. The quality of your writing is consistently excellent (and your photography, too), and there's not many things you can say that about these days. 3. I'm a French & Spanish high school teacher. I love it, but the kids drive me crazy because I care more about their learning than they do, and I really don't have time for that! 4. I have an adopted son... he's going to be 2 in November! I married a man who I knew could not have children and I've made my peace with it. My little guy is the joy of my life and if I'd had my "own" child, who knows where he'd be right now? 5. I admire you, and hope you keep writing forever :-) Camino

Posted by: Camino at October 22, 2008 02:30 AM (n33lm)

81 I know I'm late, but I'll comment anyway. - I am half Italian and half German, but I don't really feel Italian nor German. I guess the UK is my country of adoption... - My name comes from a short story by Stendhal, my mum's favourite writer, called 'Vanina Vanini'. My brother also has a literary name. - In July of this year a report I wrote for Oxfam (whilst doing research for my master's thesis) was presented in Parliament. Even though my name was never mentioned during the presentation, I still feel proud (because of the report the British government decided not to scrap a visa programme for domestic workers). Writing that report and my thesis was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. - I spent nine months working in Indonesia and it changed my life. Don't know why I didn't realise then (before doing my master's in Development Studies) that development work is not for me! - What I really should have gone into is interior design. Frivolous, maybe, but I love it. I've just moved into an unfurnished flat and planning how to decorate is the most fun I've had in a while. Which is why I really enjoyed seeing your 'new' house taking shape! - I think you're an amazing writer, and I can't wait to read your book, which I'm 100% will be published. I wish I was as good a writer as that... In English. Which is weirdly enough my favourite language of communication (Italian is my mother tongue). Go Helen! x

Posted by: Vanina at October 22, 2008 10:58 AM (nCDnt)

82 Hi Helen, I missed this yesterday but I liked the concept and thought I'd do it anyway..:*) My name is Natalie and I'm a french Canadian living on the East Coast of Canada. I have a 7 1/2 month old son that feeds my soul. I'm about 2 weeks away from returning to work as a corporate litigation lawyer with the Provincial government..a thought that both thrills and terrifies me...how is that possible? I met my husband in law school. He's funny, quirky, frustrating, kind, generous and childish (in both good and bad ways). We LOVE to drink wine and eat good food and have a passion for travel...we've been to some weird places together including Mongolia. We have a Beagle named Genghis. He's always hungry. I've had the best and worst past 7 months...while the Big Lebowski's arrival rocked my world and lifted my soul...my Mom was also diagnosed with breast and lunch cancer...in two words...it sucks. I've been reading your blog for quite awhile now...can't remember how I can accross you....all I know is that much like my morning coffee, you are part of my day...from accross the ocean..:*) I hope you had a good day in London, sorry to hear about your diagnosis (I'm pretty sure you didn't need any more complicated news at this point, the universe is fucked like that!). Take care....thanks! It was nice to formally introduce myself.

Posted by: wn at October 22, 2008 11:57 AM (mATfH)

83 - Happily married (at least most of the time) - Mother of two (9 year old girl, 7 year old boy) - 2 dogs (chinese pugs - they are sisters) - 2 hamsters - live in Ontario, Canada - born in Newfoundland, Canada - Work full time (Admin. Assistant) - Kids hockey schedule runs my life Not sure how I came upon your blog but I read every morning while having my tea. Your babies are gorgeous as are you and I'm rooting for you and that man of yours - I think it's meant to be

Posted by: Kelly at October 22, 2008 12:20 PM (FgYQ6)

84 Hi! Just a wife and mom here in WI. I provide elder care for a living (part time) and have been reading you for a very very long time. I am rooting for you Helen, and will continue to. Have a great day.

Posted by: Richmond at October 22, 2008 02:15 PM (IJotx)

85 A day late and a dollar short as usual. It actually took a little while to get the courage to post a comment... I have been reading for awhile, but can't quite remember how I came upon you. OK- Pertinent info: * I am 33 * Mom of a 7 year old daughter who is the love of my life and the greatest test of my patience all at the same time. * I live in sunny San Diego,California. * I am Human Resources for an electronics manufacturer. * Am a bit of a smartass. * While I think I am funny, my husband does not. * Your writing is astounding. * Your blog is the first one I read every day. * I cried when you had the babies.

I think that is all the important stuff.

Posted by: Jennifer at October 22, 2008 03:11 PM (2efoR)

86 Hi! Okay, so I'm delurking after about 5 years of reading your posts. ;~) I have so appreciated the feeling that I'm not so alone in the craziness and defeats of life. So... some facts about me. *I'm in my early 30s * Not married, but dating a wonderful guy. We're talking marriage, but want to give it a little more time. We're both rather cautious about how life likes to change the script. *I live in the midwest, not too far from where you used to visit during the summers. *I am currently a business student in accounting. I decided one degree wasn't enough, so chucked my full-time job and have gone back to school. Talk about scary and challenging. Connecting with the other students has had its challenges.... I hate to sound cliche, but they're just so YOUNG. *My hobby is bellydancing. I've a mixed heritage, so have been enjoying this dance style since I was an early teen. It's wonderfully exhilarating, but also heartbreaking at time. I'm not the smallest woman, so facing the popular stereotypes of what women should look like has had its challenges and tears. I think that answers the basic questions about me. Please know that there are so many of us out here fighting/celebrating with you and crying when life gives you a kick. Hug, T

Posted by: Tessa at October 22, 2008 03:44 PM (XT2jc)

87 Let's see...I work at the same movie theatre I started at 4 years ago. The pay is ass, but I like the job...mostly. Something that detracts from that mostly is that the Ex works for the company. And yesterday, he sent a friend of his with some bizarre greeting for my boss which perplexed her, that I think was directed at me. Cause on the anniversary of our break-up, it's otherwise an amazing coincidence. I have two nephews, one 8 years old, the other just turned 10 months. Both of them fart sunshine and poop rainbows.

Posted by: Robert at October 22, 2008 04:55 PM (GqC0f)

88 Something about me. I was surprised to find out that I am an ENFJ after years of thinking I was an INTJ. It was probably one of the most freeing discoveries I've had. I moved from the UK to the US three years ago and am living the life I wish I'd had 10 years ago. I want to be married and have a family, but relationships scare the crap outta me. I believe that I am destined for greatness, but not in a showy way, I'm gonna be someone's secret superhero. You once told me your real name after I sent in a link for British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. It's one of my favourite secrets.

Posted by: Jayne at October 22, 2008 05:51 PM (JWJCX)

89 I am a year or two younger than you, have a husband and a five-month-old who is teething, and live in central California. Though not in Stockton, Manteca, or any of those low-job areas. So much for the vital statistics. I am an insane reader with a yearly average of 150-200 books, not counting children's literature. I often get in over my head because I work best when overcommitted, though that's suffering a bit since Gareth takes an insane amount of time for some who can't even sit up yet. I'm a shutterbug of the first order, a Photoshop expert, an artist, musician, singer, graphic designer, and set painter. I participate in a yearly Gilbert & Sullivan production. (This spring I was not on stage; they said I could be and I said an "unmarried peasant girl" who was nine months pregnant would be an interesting take on the subject.) Family is very important to me and I'm lucky enough to be in one that's sane. For those of you with screwed-up families, remember that family is not necessarily the one you're born with. I try to put positive things in the world. "If you can't say something nice," indeed. I've found it helps me to be happier. And bubby is teething right now and extremely fussy. So I'm typing one-handed.

Posted by: B. Durbin at October 22, 2008 07:29 PM (9NgqI)

90 Hmm - me 40ish, lawyer, Londoner. 2 kids - 3 ivfs, 1 fet, 1 natural pg, 2 miscarriages. Been with husband since I was 19. generally a pretty grumpy cow. Shout at my kids too much but love them more than anything else. Bad blogger but relatively good commenter.

Posted by: Betty M at October 22, 2008 07:40 PM (/9rBW)

91 I just turned 46 and found your blog after I suffered my 1st m/c quite a few years ago. Been hooked ever since. I'm a native NYer living in South Florida for 19+ years with my husband. I have three dogs (my babies) and two tortoises. My husband has a yucky snake and a huge black throated monitor lizard. You blog is such an inspiration to me and it is so well written. When your novel comes out I'll probably be the first to buy it. I love to read. I also find it so very interesting that you are American, but live across the "pond." I don't think I've ever come across how you ended up where you are now, but I'm sure it's a great adventure. My maternal grandmother was born in Tottenham England and my maternal great-grandmother was supposed to come to meet my great-grandfather in America via the Titanic when my grandmother was only 4 years old! At the last moment she had a premonition and would not set foot on the ship. For months & months my great-grandfather believed his wife and children perished in the icy waters as inter-continental communications were so slow. I am quite concerned about your diagnosis and hope with all my heart that something can be done to ease your pain and halt the progress of symptoms. Although we have never met or spoken, I do find myself caring what happens to you. Warmest regards and best wishes!

Posted by: Amy at October 22, 2008 08:32 PM (yXlBf)

92 I've told you a lot about myself over the years and the comments, but you've never actually asked like this, so here goes: I'm a 51-yr-old woman from the midwest who has been married for almost 30 years to a second husband. I have four grown kids, one grandson, five cats, three dogs. I am mostly happy now. I am an only child and had undiagnosed alchoholic middle-class parents who emotionally and sometimese physically abused me and drove my self-esteem into the gutter. I have been on the depression train more times than I care to think and have tried to kill myself more than once. I was raped. I found your blog several years ago and was so touched by your words that I couldn't pull away. I wish I could write the way you can write. I'll be coming back here again and again for as long as you are here to find joy in your ups and to offer solice in your downs. I hope life finds you with more ups than downs.

Posted by: sue at October 22, 2008 08:59 PM (0K+AI)

93 Well, better late than never, so I figured I'd jump in here as well... I'm a Texas girl, born and raised about an hour outside of DFW, and now live in the Houston area. Right after my husband and I got married, we moved to Malaysia for work. We were there a little under two years, and we moved back to Texas when I was six months pregnant with our daughter. I thought I would love Malaysia and have no problem adjusting to life in SE Asia. Well, I did have problems adjusting, and although there were times that I enjoyed living there, I do regret that I didn't enjoy our time there more than I did. I have to say though, I'm so glad to be back home in the land of 24 Walgreens and real Mexican food. I have a five month old daughter who is an absolute joy. She just discovered her feet and is now an avid toe sucker. I have been staying at home with her, but I'm secretly afraid that my brain is turning to mush. I work in HR, which was intentional. Specifically, HR systems, which was not. I return to work part time in two weeks. Luckily, I will be able to telecommute. Hopefully, it will be the best of both worlds, but I still worry about the nanny running away with my baby. How nuts is that? I always hate every haircut I ever get. Always. I can't keep any plant alive. Not even ivy. I think you're an amazing writer and I read your blog every day (found you through Spuddy Buddy). Thanks for sharing a bit of your life with us.

Posted by: Sarah at October 22, 2008 09:56 PM (/v6Ld)

94 I'm Cissy. I live in North Carolina, right on the ocean. I'm not sure how I stumbled on your blog, but it was just about the time you became pregnant. I have enjoyed peeking at your life and your beautiful family. I'm a student. (Clinical Lab Science, Forensics and such) and love you get away from my textbooks as often as possible. I love the way you write and find myself looking for updates often. Your babies are adorable and growing so quickly. Thanks for letting us in.

Posted by: Cissy at October 22, 2008 10:26 PM (370be)

95 Aday late nd a dollar short seems to be the story of my life. Not complaining as I have had a good life. From what I read here I'm the oldest responder. 65 and counting. I got here thru Skippy of Fareastcynic.com fame. Since I fould you have been a regular reader and occassional contributor. Over the years I have read and often re-read all you posts. Your skill and ability to capture and communicate feelings, emotions and events has incresed from super to muy excellant super grande. I am a physician, husband to a great women I really do not deserve. Father to two great daughters age 34 and 30 and step dad to a great son 27 yo. I also have a daugher ho died at 3 weeks of age 37 years ago. I still grieve for her. You and Angus have the Swunt. We have the SCunt. From all you have written they could be sisters. She has interferred and made life miserable for all concerned since 1980 when we split. My most recent ex-wife is/was a good person. We were unable to overcome the problems a dual physician in same practice created. If anyone needs a great super subspecialist radiologist who specializes in woman's imaging especially mammography) is central Florida (Orlando)one could not do better. I can refer if someone wants. I live in SC am a graduate of one of the most conservative colleges in the world. A good friend has told me I am one of the three liberal graduates. He and my deceased roommate being the other two. For the good of the USA and the world I hope Obama is elected. Thanx for the opportunity to comment.

Posted by: Charles at October 22, 2008 10:37 PM (maQJG)

96 Hi Again Helen, We've emailed a time or two. Nothing in depth. If you remember I offered to do some shopping in Target for you a year or so ago during Christmas season. But I read your posts almost daily. You're one of my favorite bloggers, as you are always so "real" (for lack of a better adjective). Some random tidbits about me: I was a virgin until I was 32. At which time I met my husband, and gave it all up on our second date. In just a few short years so much has changed for me. My sole dream in life was to become a Mom. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer and had a complete hysterectomy. Now, having just turned 40 last month, I am in forced menapause and loosing my mind! Sex is now a project, I will never give birth to the child I wanted so desperately. While on disability, I was let go from a job I held for 16 years. I have not gotten back into the swing of the working world again. I totally admire your professional drive, as I have never wanted to have a full blown career. To have ambition for something of that nature would at least give me something new to strive for these days. Since all this medical nonsense started, I've been battling with depression but am too scared to start therapy. I know I probably should but the thought freightens the dickens out of me. Honestly, while the cancer was a blow to me, the thought of not having a child of my own is the major cause of the depression. I would love to adopt but have no bank account to fund it all. On the bright side, I have a wonderfull husband and a terrific family. Without their love and constant support I think I would've crumpled up long ago. I have absolutely no recollection of where I found you, but I'm continually glad I did!

Posted by: Terry at October 22, 2008 11:15 PM (GAf+S)

97 Hello! I am a bit of a lurker - I read you religiously, but have only commented a couple times in the past few years. And it does seem only fair that you should know who we are too! I live in a famously liberal town in a liberal state. I love it. I teach middle school Language Arts and SS. I love that too. My first child will be 1 month on Friday - which is hard to believe - the days just blur by. He is beautiful, even when pooing and crying. I am a total nerd, and proud of it. I suck at all sports and card games, but I kick butt at Jeopardy. I tend to be sarcastic, and a total know-it-all. I am also a total softie, and am too empathetic towards others for my own good at times. I will watch ANY movie, no matter how bad, multiple times, so long as it features dancing... or Ewan McGreggor. Luckily for my hubby, some of them are actually good! I adore your blog and your writing!

Posted by: stephanie at October 22, 2008 11:27 PM (4LJAm)

98 Hi Helen, I read you every day and love seeing your gorgeous babies grow. I admire your tenacity, and I disagree that you lack grace. You handle trials and tribulations with as much grace as anyone I "know". You possess a wonderful ability to express your experiences and your truths. As for me, I am a Texan born and raised, but now live in Florida with hubby #3. I finally found a keeper, although life is far from perfect. I currently am a stay-at-home wife and mom, but taught elementary school for 13 years in Texas. It took hubby #1 and me 4 years and a miscarriage to get my son here. He is a handsome, smart 14 year old with raging hormones. He is convinced, of course, that he is much more wordly and wise than his ultra dull and nerdy parents. I am very close to my mother in Texas and miss her terribly. I worry that I have moved away from her just at the time when she needs me most. I alternate between wanting to go back to work, wanting to adopt a child, and wanting a wildly carefree, independent life. I feel like a woman without a plan, and this is not like me. I'm not sure I like this new person looking at me in the mirror. I thought we were supposed to get more comfortable in our skin as we age, not less! I wish you peace, health, and career success ... but mostly I wish you joy and thousands of baby belly laughs! Thank you for sharing your world with us. ~Evelyn

Posted by: Evelyn at October 23, 2008 01:10 AM (I4yBD)

99 Looks like I get to be # 100! Should count for something eh? I miss one day and wow! I read your blog almost every day comment sometimes. I like how I get to talk about me... I am forever the absent blogger, mother to one 6 month old, in a 6 year relationship with his father and we have our ups and downs. Right now would be a down. I have PPD (port partum depression) which I was formally diagnosed with today by a shrink and told to make an appointment in 3 weeks handed prescription for meds. I am trying to not be a downer as to not upset my partner so we can co-exist without my craziness. I am trying to be the mother my mother wasn't. But not be overbearing. ItÂ’s tough. I love my son. He is currently my life. I donÂ’t' know how other women manage with more than one kid or how to keep a clean house. I miss my old life and I don't. I feel as though I donÂ’t' have definition in life other than a mother. I never had a career but a job and wish to one day have a career and be a good mom. At the moment were (partner, baby and I) are moving and packing is a bitch. I try to be optimistic but am a pessimist at heart. I wish I lived on the other side of the pond. I think if you and I got together for coffee we would have lots to chat about. Good luck with Dream Job. And I am Canadian!

Posted by: SK at October 23, 2008 02:30 AM (Ge15a)

100 Hi Helen -- It is so nice for you to ask about people reading your blog! I never really got into blogging before reading yours, although now I am requiring that my students create one together, so go figure. Yup, I'm another one of those academics, and a new mom whose tenure clock just started ticking. The biological clock had already been ticking for a bit -- I'm 40. I began reading your Twisted Ovaries blog right around the time you learned you were pregnant with your beautiful lemonheads. I was just beginning to wonder if I might be infertile or subfertile at that point, but got pregnant a couple of months after you did. I've been following your pregnancy and the continual blossoming of your babies -- and you -- ever since! After their birthdays I thought I would stop reading your blog, but I felt like I should say something to you first -- it seemed so rude to leave without saying good-bye! I appreciate your willingness to follow your dreams full force. Career, novel, babies, relationship, blah blah...It is impressive! I wish you and Angus the best -- I always thought that your home renovation efforts were such a beautiful, tangible metaphor for reimagining and rebuilding your lives together as a couple with four children instead of two. As for me, I gave birth to my daughter via Cesarean last December, moved from California to Wisconsin with my tangodancing husband in early January (when everyone wants to move to Wisconsin), unpacked a few boxes and began teaching at a university in my version of Dream Job. I appreciated having your blog as a companion to my own childbearing experience, Helen, although our experiences were different, and am glad that your babies are so healthy! My pregnancy had a few twists and turns as well, and there are still some concerns about my daughter since her head circumference is much smaller than average (think it dipped below the 3rd percentile mark at her 9-month visit). So we may be worried for a while, but she's already started walking at 10 months and is meeting all of her other milestones, so we are hopeful that all might be well after all. Don't know why I felt the need to share that, but I think I may really may be logging off for good now, so maybe I just need to squeeze it all in. Farewell and best wishes! Tangomama

Posted by: tangomama at October 23, 2008 03:01 AM (91bvz)

101 Hi Helen - have read your blog for a long time and it's my first stop every morning. A latte and your blog is my morning wakeup routine. I live in Tracy, CA, USA with my husband of (not quite) 19 years and my two sons, ages 15 and not quite 18. I work in Education as the Chief Business Officer for the school district we live in. I love my job and I LOVE working only 1.5 miles from my house. After years of commuting an hour plus each way to my former jobs, I love working where I live. I am blessed to be in a wonderful marriage with my best friend. I love my kids more than anything, though the teen years are challenging and leave me shaking my head in complete and utter shock much of the time lately. Where did my 'babies' go? I have followed your story for years and feel like Nick and Nora are my niece and nephew, in many ways. I am still a bit stunned when I realize those aren't their real names. Nor is yours real. I feel like I know you all. I have emailed you on occasion and you have written back and I always feel honored. My hobbies are blogging and reading blogs, playing games on my computer and reading. Oh, and I love a good nap on Saturday afternoons between 1PM and 3PM. I also love to garden and play with my dog, Chloe. Or commune with my cats, Klink and Snow. I pray for you and your family everyday - not because I perceive you need prayer, but because to me, you are family - and so I add you to my nightly prayers for happiness, health and just hanging in there. Hugs to you all, Mindy in Tracy, CA

Posted by: MindyMax at October 23, 2008 03:15 AM (hJEOx)

102 Uhmmm, something about me? My wrists and hands are super flexible (I can pull my hand flat against my forearm), my left knee dislocates once every few months and I can bend in strange ways. Now I'm wondering if I should talk to my doctor about it. Heh. I'm mostly a lurker here, although I really enjoy your writing. I like chocolate way more than any normal person should, I eat would eat fresh peas by the handful if I could and cheesecake makes me swoon.

Posted by: Veronica at October 23, 2008 10:02 AM (vdofU)

103 Oh and I always over think my comments to the point where I am loathe to comment, just in case I sound like an idiot.

Posted by: Veronica at October 23, 2008 10:05 AM (vdofU)

104 Something about me ... I don't often have time to comment but I read a lot. It's amazing how well a bottle can be propped up by your chin. I am a mom of 6. I totally blame you and N&N for the triplets. I've been reading you since I was holed up in my bedroom after Ethan died. Via Plain Jayne one way or another. I've been cheering for you on the sidelines make believing we're totally BFFs or something. A friend at university (the second time around) introduced me to my husband. I don't know how he puts up with my shit, but I eternally thankful he does. I never thought I'd marry a mechanic of any sort. If I ever did picture myself getting married it was to a guy who went to work in a suit every day. Sometimes my husbands daydreams about going to work in a cubicle. I think he'd go insane and probably hand himself with his necktie - although he does look sexy as hell in one. I am trying to get over issues of not feeling "good enough" for things such as friendship. Facebook freaks me out sometimes. I wish I could get over my fears enough to message all of the "friends" from high school that have added me but I worry I was really never their friend to begin with. I need to find a new therapist who works nights since I am pretty confined to my house. I think I am too self centered and have no problem writing a novel about myself. *cough*

Posted by: Michele at October 23, 2008 09:03 PM (rXEzC)

105 Me? Found your blog by clicking on your link in a comment you wrote on someone else's blog. No idea whose, I often get completely lost in the blogosphere. I blame Julie of alittlepregnant, whom I found about 3 years ago googling some IUI-related stuff, while living in the US temporarily as an expat's wife. No working permit myself. Hence the spare time to spent 2 whole weeks reading all of Julie's entries from the beginning. 3 years on, back home in the Netherlands, and after a second IVF attempt mother of healthy 10 month old boy/girl twins who were born 2 months prematurely (boy, was I glad I'd read Julie's blog. I would've been completely lost in the NICU without it). They are currently rolling all over the livingroom floor breaking things as they go. Hence the spare time to write this comment. Will stop writing and click "post" when I hear a loud bang followed by screaming (possibly in stereo). Started 3 different University degrees (Biology, Artificial Intelligence and Cognitive Science) but didn't finish any of them. Uni was clearly not meant for me. Did however enjoy assisting with courses I'd completed. More fun to teach others than to be taught. And it's said to be the best way to learn, anyway... Now busy setting up "shop" in our garage. Will be making wooden and/or painted decorative items for nurseries, portraits, other things to celebrate new life, and maybe some wooden toys as well. Will see how that'll turn out. Don't expect to make any money with it. Will be completely satisfied if it just enables me to make lots of cool stuff for our twins. Who cares if other people buy it, too? *grin* My son is currently chasing a round wooden toy-frog around the livingroom floor. He's gone all around the couch and is working his way around the coffee-table right now. Won't be long till he hits something solid. The wall. Or his twin sister... Will be writing a children's book about life in the NICU. A good friend will paint the illustrations. She is a terrific painter. And a terrific friend. She also has premature twins. I am a collector of "friends with twins". Have collected 6 so far. 4 of whom I was already friends with before I ever got pregnant. How's that for coincidence? Considering I have a grand total of about 8 friends, I'm not doing too bad on the "with twins" department... Bang...! Three, two, one...

Posted by: Mijke at October 24, 2008 12:42 PM (TazTE)

106 IÂ’ve lurked on your blog for at least a year now. IÂ’m 37, married for 11 years, and teach 6th grade. I have a 7 month old son, which IÂ’d been told by my fertility doc would probably never happen. High FSH, MTHFR, almost no follicles, low/poor egg quality, ovaries that appeared to be at least ten older than me, blah, blah, blah. I have lived in New Jersey all my life, except for a four year stay in Pennsyltuckey (as I call it Â– you get the idea.) IÂ’ve always been sort of nosy, so getting to peek in one someone elseÂ’s life is always interesting. My life is pretty routine. Work, kid, husband, dog. I love going to hockey games (LetÂ’s go Devils!), traveling (who has time for that anymore?), shopping (shoes & lip gloss!) and curling up with a good book and glass of something yummy Â– depends on my mood! I enjoy reading about you and your beautiful children. Hope you enjoy peeking behind our curtains as well!

Posted by: Beth at October 24, 2008 09:49 PM (KELSj)

107 I don't know so much about you.... i found you on flickr just tonight, after searching for photos to do with crying... wondering if i should be so vulnerable and post a photo of myself crying, curious to know and see what has been posted..there you were, a beautiful photo of yourself, crying, so being more curious and drawn in by your photo... a few clicks later i found myself on your blog, at this post... i was not going to comment... it's just like me, to come and be a great observer, but silent, then i clicked on your about me page...more curious...and we share a birthday. i am an april fools baby, too, just two years difference.... so here i am, telling you a little about me. i wish you well and thank you for sharing...

Posted by: misty at October 26, 2008 02:52 AM (yOrww)

108 When I read this post the other day I began crying. I did not understand why and went to bed with tears. (oh the drama!) But I knew these tears had to be for a reason. Why would I cry because someone has asked about me? I am a wife, a mother, a worker who provides for coworkers, a friend, a volunteer, but all these things that define me are my role to others. I put others before myself. So when you asked about me - as a person - I am so defined by others. So the tears. But not such a bad thing. I like what I do, I know I am a good person, but I need to take care of myself. What a hard thing to do. I also tend to hold things in and then something small happens to crack the dam. Like this post! As you can tell I have issues, but the internet is a wonderful place that reminds you that you are not alone.

Posted by: ProcheinAmy at October 26, 2008 02:56 AM (IGC2m)

109 I've commented a few times, but I probably still count as a lurker all in all. I'm a 28 year old living in Sydney. I've just finished my PhD (my reports came back only a couple of weeks ago, and I am still walking on sunshine as a result - I had never believed that they would be positive, and they are positively glowing...). I live on my own, which is heaven after too many share houses, and although my space is small, it's mine and I love it. I teach cultural studies to undergrads, and at the moment I'm convening a course for third years (that's the final year of a bachelor degree, here). I love love love teaching, at least this semester: my students are bright and interested, at least for the most part, and watching their ways of thinking about things shift is heavenly. I write a lot; not just academic stuff, but crappy fiction too, alongside the occasionally-neglected blog. I dream of doing a post-doc overseas, but I need to get my butt in gear as far as publishing goes (articles and - gulp - the thesis, transformed into a book) to make that possible. I've been reading your blog for two or three years now. Sometimes it makes me cry, often it makes me smile, but most of the time it makes me feel weirdly close to someone I don't even know (and who doesn't know me). Sometimes I wish I did, because there are times when your self assessment seems so mis-matched with the reality, I want to slap you over the wrist. Lacking grace? I think not, midear! :-)

Posted by: WildlyParenthetical at October 26, 2008 06:50 AM (LM7em)

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