...which, I'm sorry, but she does. I can't understand why there is no social responsibility for the fact that she already has 6 children (all under the age of 7)and just had octuplets. And she doesn't work. And she lives at home. And she only wanted them because she has Only Child Syndrome and didn't want a small family and simply loves babies. I'll tell you, I love babies too. Seriously. But at some point you are not there for one of your children if you have more than one of the same age, and I can say that because I have twins. There are times when one doesn't get as much attention as the other. What are you going to do with 14 children now? Hmmmm?

Rant aside, there are child issues afoot over here, too.

Over Christmas we saw real changes with Melissa and Jeff. Melissa has well and truly become a teenager now, she's stroppy, easygoing, moody, fun, and annoying. On Christmas Day she went into a right tiff, decided to lay on the kitchen counter and be a little shit, and write on her Facebook page that she was sooooooooo depressed. Which of course her mother picked up on like Batman recognizing the Bat Symbol, as the Swunt is a contact on Melissa's page.

Melissa never did tell us what was bothering her, but then maybe she doesn't even know herself. I think maybe she was just having One Of Those Teen Days. I sure had them, I know others did, too.

She recently annoyed me when we told them that we weren't going away on a family holiday the end of February, like we usually do. The kids have off next week and the week after, and we often take family holidays. But this year Angus and I have work deadlines and, more than that, we're worried about money. We have a travel savings account with some money in it, but we're of the opinion that money saved is best kept that way just now. We work in an unstable industry, both of us, and we worry. We told the kids that we would all go away in June, and got a response from Melissa that was along the lines of "I'm not coming if you wait until June. I want to go now."

Angus shrugged. "Looks like we'll be travelling without her then, eh?"

I have a problem with Melissa though, in that she doesn't contribute to the housework at all. If she has breakfast her bowl sits by the couch, where she's parked watching MTV (after rising at noon) until you move it. She will clean things up but only if you ask her. I told the kids last time to be diligent about getting dirty clothes into the hamper. The day they were due to leave I am told she wants to wash everything as "she wants it to smell like our house". Nice sentiment, but guess who did the washing?

Angus and I talked about it and he's going to speak to her about things. This is her other house, not her holiday house. She does not get a break from chores because she's here, this is a household and she has to contribute to the running of it. I think she'll do it and I really truly love the kid, but she isn't the easiest thing in the world since teendom has hit.

And then there's Jeff.

Jeff.

Jeff, who at Christmas, was the recipient of an financial arrangement from me. I went to him with a deal. He's saving up his money for an XBox, and I told him that if he would babysit the babies for me whenever I asked throughout the duration of his stay, then I'd give him £20.

He looked at me, confused. "You'll pay me £20 for playing with the babies when you need to do something?"

"Yeah, is that ok?" I ask him.

"Well, sure. But Helen, you don't need to pay me. I'll watch them for free."

That went straight to my heart, where it still lingers and I pull it out on the days when I know the sun isn't coming out.

Jeff followed through on my request and everytime I asked him to babysit he did without hesitation. He also helped me clean the entire house and tidy the garage one day so I gave him £40 in the end instead of the offered £20. I felt he earned it.

Melissa and Jeff have moved out to the country now. The Swunt's moved them. They seem happier there, and Jeff likes his school a lot. But he's really struggling with things.

They've lost their satellite so Jeff's access to English TV is gone. With that gone, he has little interest in the TV. He loves the computer but he gets a lot of shit from the Swunt about it, so he's taken to reading library books. He's actually very clever and inquisitive, and when he's here I have a great time with him.

We found out that the Swunt got a massive tax refund. We're talking...massive. So massive that they left most of their furniture behind in the old house and have bought all new, including new electronics. Jeff did a lot of research on what TV the family should get, checking things online and statistics on performance, but when he went to give input he was told "What could an 11-year old know about it?" Nice. Children always do well when you body chop them at the knees.

He's told me that the Swunt is buying another horse. I asked why, and the reason is so crazy it's almost surreal - when you ride one of the horses the one left behind in the stable gets lonely. So if they buy another horse then no horse in the stable needs to be left alone.

Sweet Jesus who knew the Girl Scouts handed out Crazy Badges?

See, that's what the problem is with me, people. I put my children above my equestrian needs. I should be all about ensuring my pets are happy. Screw childhood, let's all band together and scar a whole generation! Who's with me?

The Swunt and Jeff had another run-in last week. We've asked the Swunt if Jeff could come live with us and had the door kicked in our email faces. We're proposing he spend the summer here with us, to see if maybe he can have some time here. I'm very sure that will get rejected, too.

Jeff arrives next Wednesday. Melissa arrives the Monday after that. I can't wait to see both of them because I miss them when they're away.

-H.

PS - I signed up for Goodreads, as it was recommended by Pru. Come look me up and join me - I'm listed there as Helen Adelaide or helen@everydaystranger.eu (my IRL friends can suck it!). We can all use recommendations for good things to read, and you can gawk at some of the things I'm reading. I'm thinking of starting a virtual book club again. I was part of the fabulous Mel's, but am thinking of reviewing different kinds of books. Book clubs challenge me to read books I ordinarily wouldn't, and I love getting people's take on things. Anyone interested?

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 02:07 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
Post contains 1240 words, total size 7 kb.

1 Sure, I'm in for the book club.

Posted by: Jen R. (aaron-n-jen.com) at February 10, 2009 03:33 PM (OpFYt)

2 Count me in for a book club, I need inspiration of different things to read than just fantasy and IT books.

Posted by: Hannah at February 10, 2009 03:43 PM (lUH62)

3 Oh I am up for it! Just went and signed up. Couldn't find you tho. You don't come up in my find friends from your email. Did you use a different email than your yahoo addy?

Posted by: jusjtme at February 10, 2009 04:03 PM (pp/5D)

4 That book club sounds like a great idea, I definitely need to branch out from my typical genre of books.

Posted by: Karen at February 10, 2009 04:54 PM (IPcYy)

5 I hate to tell you this but the whole "Im on vacation and the maid will get it" is a teen thing. My teen does it, it happened overnight and it is sooooooo annoying. Prepare to ask and ask again and ask every single time or do it yourself. And if you want to watch them fly into a self-righteous rage suggest that you are tired of always having to ask. Prepare to hear about the one time they DID do it and the time they saw you pick up someone elses without saying ANYTHING you hypocritical a**hole who is obviously PICKING on her. Teenagers are AWESOME!!!

Posted by: That Girl at February 10, 2009 05:44 PM (hzryQ)

6 It's weird, I keep hearing your voice when I read your posts. Ok, that sounds creepy. I see that you've read most of the book I have up on Goodreads. Show-off.

Posted by: MsPrufrock at February 10, 2009 05:54 PM (CA+L6)

7 I'm so up for the book club, my reading has been pretty limited lately so a good kick in the a$$ wouldn't hurt. I wasn't the best teen, my room was a mess constantly, I hated my mother (although as an adult, that hasn't really changed) and I thought I knew everything. Yeah, I was a lot of fun for my parents I bet. Although to my defense I didn't ever leave dishes around :-)

Posted by: Angela at February 10, 2009 06:40 PM (DGWM7)

8 Right, I also wanted to say I'm glad that someone else thought it was irresponsible that the octuplet mom had another 8 to her already large family. Seriously, she lives with her mother, has no job, and yet was able to afford to have the embryos implanted? What the f..... Nothing like abusing the system, because seriously, there is no way she's able to financially support all 14 kids. If you want a huge family, and can afford to support a huge family, hey go ahead, but if you aren't supporting your present kids then you should probably consider that before having anymore... Anyway that's my commentary.

Posted by: Angela at February 10, 2009 06:47 PM (DGWM7)

9 Hrm...I would love to do a book club, but with the baby due, why am I thinking I may not get much reading done? Sorry things are hard with the kids. I think Jeff staying with you for a bit would be WONDERFUL for him - and for his relationship with Angus. As far as Melissa...even with my kids living with me, if I don't TELL THEM to pick things up, they don't. The house would be a disaster if I didn't nag incessantly, which is OH so much fun!

Posted by: Tracy at February 10, 2009 07:25 PM (eiiGE)

10 I've just joined and added you as a friend but forgot to add a comment...

Posted by: Katie at February 10, 2009 08:21 PM (UaL+O)

11 I signed up for Good Reads too. just checking out what other people thought of the last book my book club did. Need some virtual wine though. I'm afraid I was a vile teen along the lines of Melissa. I think I've grown out of it.

Posted by: Betty M at February 10, 2009 09:05 PM (U6tpa)

12 Helen, sorry I have been lurking for awhile, not commenting. I hate the Swunt and I dont even know her. I feel sorry for the kids and the way she puts herself first and manipulates them. They are very lucky to have you in their life. You are #1 mom in my book.

Posted by: Cheryl at February 10, 2009 10:55 PM (ASSfP)

13 I'm totally in for the book club, if you're allowing occasional lurkers. and if you are, a supercool friend of mine is totally in as well. if you're allowing strange girls from socal. we are dubious creatures, after all...

Posted by: MissK at February 11, 2009 01:36 AM (EM7ls)

14 Hi - My friend & I would totally be in for book club. Although isn't the first rule of book club not to talk about book club? Sorry if I've posted twice - didn't see my comment come up and I'm unreasonably excited about this matter.

Posted by: MissK at February 11, 2009 01:54 AM (EM7ls)

15 The Swunt continues to amaze, and not in a good way. I don't know why I'm shocked anymore when you give updates. - And I just asked to be your friend on Goodreads (and I feel so junior high -- will she be my friend???? ) because I like your taste in books. I'm in for the book club -- email me if you want help organizing it -- just b/c it was your idea doesn't mean you should have to do all the work (other people need to procrastinate too!)

Posted by: PHX Mama at February 11, 2009 04:17 AM (Xl39M)

16 Hiya, you can count me in for the book club, sounds good!

Posted by: Amanda at February 11, 2009 07:07 AM (xOr5U)

17 Not that you need my opinion but i will give it anyway! Melissa and Jeff are so lucky to have you and of course Angus. I would love to join the bookgroup. My IRL one is tonight but i have dislocated my shoulder and lets just say the medication for the pain is leaving me unable to type/speak coherently! Abs x

Posted by: abs at February 11, 2009 08:50 AM (DG7J/)

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