The Gig is working out so far. I have some troubles at The Gig, but lots of good times, too. There are no permanent desks in Gig Offices, we all hot desk, yet we all seem to sit in the same seats. Rather defeats the idea of hot desking, really.

I sit in an area of 6 desks with 5 other people and none of us are in the same department or role, which gives a nice persepctive. We all sit together and work, although periodically we crack each other up (and we all agreed early on that we can swear and muck about, no one will sue the others.) I'm not sure if other areas have this much fun from time to time, but I can say that when we all get a bit ADD and go into things, it gets fun.

Here are some examples of what we get:

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One of the guys has been assigned a new line manager, a particularly creepy individual that he calls Twatty Bollocks. I asked him how he was going to handle it. He told me not well. I asked him what he was going to do about it.

He replied: "I am going to masturbate in the mirror. It won't help things but it will take my mind off my troubles."

When I go to lunch I'll bring him back some glass cleaner.

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Another one of the guys stood up and announced that he was going to the stationary cupboard, and did we need anything?

We all looked at him.

"Uh...like what, Stan?" I asked him.

"You know. Stationary things," he replied.

"I'm good," I countered, as did the others. When Stan returned 20 minutes later he was clutching a handful of highlighters.

"I got what I needed," he said, clutching his finds.

"Wow," said Karl. "Seeing you get those has been the highlight of my day."

Stan rolled his eyes.

Matt next to me grinned. "I see what you did there."

"Did you like that?" Karl asked.

"I did, I liked that," Matt answered. "Ten points to Gryffindor."

Stan sits down, whips out the green highlighter, and proceeds to highlight all of the text on one whole page.

"Dude?" I ask. "If you highlight the whole page then you're defeating the point. It's why it's called a highlighter. Otherwise it would be called a paintbrush."

Stan looks at me. "What's the matter with you? Does Trunky want a doughnut?" he asks.

"Mmmm, doughnuts," Karl moans.

"Simpsons jokes are cheap," I reply. "Anyone can do those, it takes a master to come up with orginals. If you laugh at something they'd fall about on 'Are You Smarter Than a Ten Year Old?' then it doesn't count."

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As I wrote last week, I had a bet with one of my guys that he wouldn't use the word "buttmonkey" in a meeting with a particularly scratchy guy we were meeting with last week. I bet £1 that he wouldn't do it, and he did. It's now become something of a competition, with all of us choosing words that we challenge the others to use on various conference calls and in meetings. Not every word is an insult, although buttmonkey remains the favorite. We've also used "fish fingers", "verisimilitude", and my personal current favorite, "catheter".

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Stan was rummaging in his gym bag this morning.

"Dammit," he mutters.

"What's up?" I ask.

"I forgot my nut cup," he replies.

"Stan, there are a few words that I'd be ok with not hearing you utter before 10:00 in the morning.

"Nut cup is one of them?"

"Nut cup is one of them."

"What would another one be?"

"Salmonella. And didgeridoo. The rest of the list we can play by ear."

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-H

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 11:05 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 638 words, total size 4 kb.

1 One isn't supposed to have that much fun at work! There are supposed to be men with whips and grit. It is so great that colleagues can get together be productive and have a bit of fun. Have you considered talk like a pirate day??

Posted by: Amy at January 22, 2009 11:52 AM (Ex6XB)

2 Cool ... things like that make work worthwhile (mind you so does the salary) We had a phase where we had to try to use the phrase designer vagina in meetings. 'this budget is as tight as a designed vagina' etc etc Yes, we are 12.

Posted by: moira at January 22, 2009 12:13 PM (UGBIN)

3 I just laughed my ass off. If all workplaces were like that I might be tempted away from my student lifestyle...

Posted by: QoB at January 22, 2009 02:16 PM (7NCAM)

4 I want a job like that...

Posted by: Jen R. (aaron-n-jen.com) at January 22, 2009 02:32 PM (OpFYt)

5 I worked at a bookstore with a guy who, when somebody new was being trained and we got to the sexual harassment bit, was used as a negative example. As in, "Don't do what he does." It was all in good fun, as the guy in question was a sweetie who was flaming gay, but as he was also a contact person the comment had merit.

Posted by: B. Durbin at January 22, 2009 06:38 PM (PlHif)

6 God. My last 'fun' exchange at work involved me laboriously explaining to po-faced colleague that I had meant the phrase 'yeah, and if I bend down to do the bottom shelf, I'll show the room the colour of my knickers' AS A JOKE. I am so envious.

Posted by: May at January 22, 2009 10:33 PM (3jesX)

7 Once upon a time I had a fun job like that. I miss it quite often. I'm glad you're enjoying the new Gig.

Posted by: Lisa at January 23, 2009 01:48 AM (YEsan)

8 I loved the Gryffindor line...

Posted by: D at January 23, 2009 06:44 AM (PiAiM)

9 We have a cat named Salmonella. She was a scruffy, sick looking kitten when we took her in, it really suits her! I just have to whistle at the door if I want to get the cats in, but sometimes I like to call her name out loud anyway...

Posted by: Gry at January 23, 2009 05:22 PM (dFzUW)

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