September 20, 2005
Add on to the fact that it's three hours each way to get there on an amalgamation of tubes, trains, and automobiles (but not planes), and you can see the kind of day I've got in front of me.
Since my mind is so bouncy, my post is bouncy today, too.
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The weather is changing here-a cold chill is the undertone in the air, and the shorts are being put away for the year. Leaves are changing, plants are saying goodbye, and the dewy mornings hint that frost isn't too far away. Fall is finally in the air and I am delighted with it, I love Fall and the quiet melancholy of it. Above all, I have the deep and probing thoughts that mark Fall and tell me that it's time to kiss hello to the season.
Boots.
Oh my God, it's time for boots now.
Jeans tucked into boots, nice chunky riding boots, boho skirts with knee high boots, boots with heels, boots boots boots.
Boots'¦and shrugs.
Say it with me now: Welcome, Fall. I've fucking missed you.
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My team is used to me saying strange things. I have many expressions that get trotted out on a regular basis (one of them is 'Good job.'Â Did you know that's a very American thing to say? Turns out all of us Yanks run around shouting 'Good job'Â all the time, presumably while chugging Gatorade and wearing nylon jogging pants. I like to think it's indicative that we're all-supporting, a one-nation cheerleading crowd).
As I'm generally the only woman on a team full of testosterone, I often have to fend for myself. Sometimes we take breaks as the men need to 'go for a slash'Â, 'meet the urinal'Â (Note: in this country it's pronounced 'yer-EYE-null'Â. Sacrilege!) or have to 'dash to the loo'Â. I used to struggle with how I should phrase the same issue. In this country, you get the piss taken out of you if you call it a 'restroom'Â or a 'ladies' room'Â. But I despair of calling it the usual terms 'the toilet'Â or 'have to pee'Â in front of my team, so I reached into my years in the Deep South and came up with one that seems to be ok with my team.
When I have to go, I say I have to 'shake the dew off the lily'Â.
For some reason, this sends the men into fits of laughter every time.
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While on the tube yesterday I sat and watched people-I had dashed out of the house too quickly and had forgotten my book, so my iPod and the people around me kept me entertained.
There was a woman in a line green sweater and short blond hair. She had a choker of freshwater seed pearls around her neck, strung on a pale wire that disappeared against her skin. The tiny seed pearls looked like dancing shimmering points across the base of her throat, little iridescent jewels that seemed to hang transfixed to her skin, and I don't remember ever seeing a more beautiful necklace on anyone, ever.
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The Deep South has also contributed to my other new favorite expression. I'll use ones for a while before putting them in the freezer in my brain, to pull out and thaw and reuse at a later date. My current favorite is: 'Can I get an amen?'Â which is followed by me slapping the table.
Angus hates it.
I crack up every time I frog march that one out.
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Yesterday I went to lunch with my Australian friend. We try to meet up once a week, and when we do we gossip about work and try to blow off steam from the stress of deadlines. She's a riot, a very strong personality, and we get along great. Yesterday we nipped into Zara for a bit of browsing, and I wound up buying two shirts and a dress styled in a 1920's style (I call it my House of Eliot dress. I can't wait to wear T-bar strappy shoes with it and scary underpants beneath it. I just love that dress.)
My friend is great as she has a degree in fashion and fashion design. This means you can try anything on and she can see the flaws or advantages in it right away. It helps to have a Fashion Designer friend when you are self-conscious and shopping for clothes. We even often get adjoining dressing rooms and pass over the clothes to and fro, as we're basically the same size (albeit I am a few inches taller and have a shoulder width a Bolshevik would envy).
What I like most about shopping with her is we always use the pronoun 'we'Â while shopping. So if she sees a shirt she likes, she states: 'Ooh, we like that.'Â Or if she sees a skirt she likes, she'll finger the hem. 'I'm not sure if we like this,'Â she'll say. To which sometimes I reply: 'We like the fabric, but we don't like that bric-a-brac detail on the hem. That's pushing the boho envelope too far.'Â
It's nice to have a friend you can go shopping with and present a unified front with.
Fact of the matter is, it's nice to have a friend.
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I was standing in the queue for coffee and bought a bran muffin to eat for breakfast (this is unusual for me, I'm not that big on muffins). My mobile rings while I am standing there.
'Hello Helen,'Â the smooth voice of CEO's admin chimes. 'CEO would just like an update of where you are.'Â
'ÂRoger that.'Â I reply. 'Please tell CEO that I am in the queue and have just-I repeat, I have just-bought a muffin.'Â
'ÂEr'¦what?' comes the fuzzy reply.
'Standby'¦Ok,' I say, pretending the muffin counter is indeed part of a covert military operation. 'OK, muffin choice made. Bran instead of chocolate. Over.' I say tersely, ignoring the stares of the people around me.
'Um'¦Helen, I meant a project update of where you are.'Â
'OK. Why didn't you say so?'Â I say with a grin, and proceed to rattle it off.
At least I was amused anyway.
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Yesterday I walked back to the tube stop from my therapists'. As dusk huddled around and the streetlights came on, I pulled my Electric Bugaloo wrap tighter around me. Walking past some of the many Edwardian homes in that north London suburb, I passed a house with two box hedges in the front garden. There was a sizeable gap between the hedges and I stopped and watched a large spider that was working on its web that branched between the two hedges. The spider had a very round, apple-green body, and it tirelessly strung its web in that space, the perfect hiding place for unsuspecting insects.
I watched the spider for a bit, staring with amazement at the bright green of the spider's body.
I knew someone would come along and destroy the web, would freak out, or would kill the spider. I knew someone would, sometime.
I wish they wouldn't.
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Sarah McLachlan, I love you to bits and I'd do anything for you, but I just ran across your recording of 'Solsbury Hill'Â.
Seriously.
Even my most favorite singer in the whole world should know-you should never, ever take away from the Petey G.
I forgive you anyway. Just don't let it happen again.
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Yesterday I was home late-I had my therapy session and it was a long day, so my train pulled in to the station at around 9:00 at night. Angus had lined up a nice meal, candles lit all over the house, and drew me a bath and lit the bathroom with candlelight as well. He was incredibly kind and loving, and I really needed that.
And as I made my way on the walk bridge over the train tracks, having stepped off the train on my final leg to get home, I looked up and saw the big gold moon hanging behind a veil of haze. My breath was visible in the night air-the first time since summer ended-and I smiled, pleased to be home, pleased it was Fall, pleased to see Angus.
Just pleased.
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