I had a post about the twins lined up for today, in an effort to pull myself up with my bootstraps, as well as updates on the book club read due this Friday and it being EDS month. I've been struggling this past week and I make no secret of that. I'm not proud of having problems, I don't think I'm lucky or privileged. Writing about mental illness is no easy thing, each and every post is a struggle to not oly be honest with you, but to be honest with myself. But if people come in here and make statements about my mental health that not only impact me but may impact someone who is reading and is feeling fragile, then that is not ok.

I don't normally respond to what I view is a fairly troll-y comment. But this one got to me. This time was just a little too personal.

There's been a side battle going on over something that's seriously a crying fucking shame. Yesterday K felt the need to comment on my site as someone else. Tha's a real blogging no-no, you do not pretend to be someone else, particularly someone else whose husband is battling cancer. But above all she felt the need to go after my mental health and my parenting by saying:

You really are a crazy nut ball. Amazing you were permitted to have children. And then that you didn't drown them as infants.

Amazing.

You can think I'm a crap parent if you want.

What you cannot do - what no one can do, ever - is question my children's safety with me.

Let me be perfectly, absolutely, crystal clear about this - my children are not now, never have been, and never will be in any danger from me. Ever. My single greatest priority in life is that my children have a safe, stable and secure childhood. They will not know of my mental health issues. They do not get exposed to anything apart from complete and total dedication and admiration. And yes, I am blowing my own trumpet here, but my vow is that my children will have a happy childhood that is so great they will take it for granted.

People can have mental illness. It doesn't always end with them drowning their children in bathtubs, nor is it something that gets run by the police who "allow people to have children". Some of us spend our time trying to get better so that we can ensure our children never go through the cycles that we went through.

I get it that K was acting out based on pain and upset and feelings of being witch-hunted, and I am genuinely sorry that people have "hunted" her based on her opinion about the side topic - she had an absolute right to ask the questions she did and I believe that. I have no problem with you, K, and am sorry your life has been hard (inlcuding, ironically, a suicide attempt that I would've thought made you understanding of mental illnes). I don't intend on spending any more thought on you than I already have. Yes, you hurt me with what you commented. Congratulations.

Me you can hurt.

My children you cannot.

No one can. Ever.

-S.

UPDATED - I understand this site is rejecting any and all comments, and that's not due to me closing things or due to spam filters. The good news is we think the instability is due to this site being moved over today to the new domain and server. Bear with me while we head for the newer pastures - fingers crossed the server move and re-design are complete and cooperating by tomorrow. If you want to comment, you can always email by clicking that big "Contact" button on the top toolbar, or else you can drop by the .eu site, which is running as well.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 08:38 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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