"We can hook up the dishwasher next weekend," Angus says.
"Thank God," I nearly sob. "I can't face washing by hand anymore."
"There'll be so much shaking you won't know if it's me or the dishwasher in ecstasy."
Silence.
Then - "Is that it?" he asks me.
-H.
PS-we awoke this morning to gale force winds, blinding rain, and the sound of babies screaming. Why were they screaming, the average sane person might ask? Probably because it was raining on them. The builders are currently scurrying around trying to secure the tarps that had blown off over our house. I'm so over being roofless.
1
Dishwasher porn... too funny!
Good luck with your roof.
Posted by: Hannah at May 26, 2008 08:07 AM (hjBAP)
2
It was raining on them?! Although it sounds awful, that makes me laugh. Good thing babies don't melt.
Posted by: Veronica at May 26, 2008 10:33 AM (sLfKS)
3
It's raining like hell here too. But wasn't supposed to.
Posted by: ~Easy at May 26, 2008 12:04 PM (XD24A)
4
I've heard about doing the nasty on top of a clothes washer on spin cycle. But never a dishwasher. The closest image I can get is the scene from Fatal Attraction where Michael Douglas has Glenn Close right there in the kitchen sink, on top of all the dirty dishes.
Good sex just doesn't get any dirtier.
And finally I get to post a real blog link in the URL!
Posted by: diamond dave at May 26, 2008 12:17 PM (EKSJf)
5
When we did our addition we awoke one night to rain pouring through the tarps into the piano. I ran over my toe twice moving it. (never move a piano in bare feet.) The piano was fine, the toe was broken. The contractor was called at 2:00 a.m. and made to come out and fix the problem.
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at May 26, 2008 12:23 PM (R7LgM)
6
There's a German manufacturer of dishwashers and washers, Bauknecht. In the seventies, they had an advertising slogan "Bauknecht weiß, was Frauen wünschen", i.e. "Bauknecht knows a woman's secret wishes"...
Lily
Posted by: Lily at May 26, 2008 12:51 PM (Y8m4l)
7
You have twice the amount of bottles to wash than I do. Get this woman her freaking dishwasher NOWWWW!
Posted by: Dotty at May 26, 2008 01:35 PM (rydMD)
8
Something is seriously wrong when rain in the baby cribs is mentioned as an afterthought. This construction can't end soon enough, I'm sure!
Posted by: BeachGirl at May 26, 2008 01:41 PM (U+oUO)
9
It's ok. You should have heard my cackles of delight as I put china in the china cabinet. Whatever gets you going is ok with me. As long as it's between a consenting adult and consenting furniture/appliances, i say live and let live.
Posted by: donna at May 26, 2008 03:14 PM (Yg10E)
10
Oh... poor babies! Hope the ceiling situation gets better soon!
Posted by: Andria at May 26, 2008 03:33 PM (Oo4k1)
Posted by: kenju at May 26, 2008 05:29 PM (yvCMb)
12
I'm so sorry about the tarps, but so thrilled about the dishwasher. I just hope Steve doesn't get jealous.
Posted by: sophie at May 27, 2008 01:49 AM (ZPzQL)
13
Well, at least the rain saved you bathtime! Poor babies!
Posted by: Melissa at May 27, 2008 04:58 AM (+Wg/4)
14
OMG! I was thinking, "damn they came out on a holiday.. oh yeah... just a regular Monday in the UK..."
YAY for the dishwasher!!!
Posted by: caltechgirl at May 27, 2008 05:36 AM (IfXtw)
15
Oh it was a bank holiday yesterday, CTG. It was a day off, which made the rain, wind, and dripping roof suck even more.
Posted by: Helen at May 27, 2008 10:42 AM (qcoRS)
16
I too love the dishwasher porn.
Poor babies.
Posted by: Anita at May 27, 2008 11:05 AM (9lpHU)
17
Poor babies. Poor parents. I think I would be tired of being roofless as well.
Posted by: Cori at May 27, 2008 01:52 PM (LumIA)
18
Oh you just know there is dishwasher porn out there somewhere with someone fapping away to it! AND Dishwasher fanfic. Dishwasher anime. Youtubes of dishwashers. SloMo Dishwashers.
Look at this one, what a tease!
http://www.ogormans.co.uk/images/Siemens_SE26T551GB.jpg
And this one:
http://www.inhabitat.com/wp-content/uploads/dishwashers7.jpg
One word; whore. Look at it, showing its naughty bits like that.
Whore. (but hawt, right? Oh yeah...haaaaawwt...bring it, baybeee...yeah, just like that...uh-huh...)
Posted by: The other Amber at May 27, 2008 04:25 PM (zQE5D)
19
I laughed out loud reading all but the end of this post. Then I laughed even louder when I got to the other Amber's comment. Hahahaha!! Now THAT is dishwasher porn, alright, and her captions to each link cracked me up.
I hope you are at least not being rained on anymore. I can't imagine what a shock that must have been to the babies' systems.
Posted by: Lisa at May 27, 2008 05:33 PM (EcHBm)
20
Sorry about the rain. I'm imprressed you even have the good humour to come up with dishwasher porn.
Posted by: Betty M at May 27, 2008 06:36 PM (+Rjj7)
21
I don't have a dishwasher, so I sympathize with you greatly (and I am without twins and bottles even). So go ahead-get orgasmic, I promise not to look-ok, maybe just a peek.
Ugh- poor, sweet babies-and poor, sweet mummy.
Posted by: Teresa at May 27, 2008 07:46 PM (PA8by)
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