Feeling rather grizzly today, so this will be Blog Lite (less calories, less filling).

My existential crisis yesterday has ended, more due to my ongoing cold taking up all immediate resources as opposed to sitting around wondering who stole my proverbial cheese.

During my absence my work email flooded. Escalation after escalation is tippling all over the place, and one of my customers threw such a strop that I was taking a few days off that he was going to escalate as I wasn't going to answer questions right now. Even though I took a few days leave. He's angry because he pays for project management services and expects me to work (even though he doesn't pay for my work when I'm on leave). To which all I could think was: I am not steak. You can't just order me.

It's time to move on, I think. I may enjoy working from home but I'm beginning to sell my soul in doing so, and I don't know if I can do that much longer. Additionally, although we've gotten fabulous bonuses, in general our pay rises in Dream Job have not been in keeping with inflation, so now that bread costs 140,000 pounds we're all finding our paychecks don't go as far.

My interview yesterday went well, so well in fact that I am already shortlisted on the candidate list. Over 100 people applied for this position and only 10 will make it to interview. I am luckily one of those 10, and this will sound very cocky but I am the kind of person that believes if I can get the interview, I can get the job. The job sounds good and interesting, the only problem is it may include occasional travel to Scandinavia. I like Scandinavia, and my ability to speak and read Swedish helps, it's just I could do without travel, really.

I have another interview today, ironically with another firm that may involve occasional travel. The big issue though is this company would take me straight into the jaws of the beast - I will be working with Company X. Not working for Company X, but working with them. Including people from my past.

And this is hard for me.

Angus says I should hold my head high, that fuck 'em - they let me go and I've moved on. Getting cut has nothing to do with my performance, it had to do with length of service. I've proven myself since then, and I don't have anything to feel stupid about.

Apart from the Swunt taking my name and trashing it with extremely high-ranking managers in Company X, that is.

People I may have to come face to face to across the table.

I'm going ahead and interviewing, but honestly don't know if I can take this role. I can do the work, but maybe I lack the cojones to stare down my past.

We'll see. I've pulled out my eight year old business suit (luckily still current as it just managed to clear that "shoulder pad" hurdle that felled so many other business suits), dusted off my heels, and will have my interview face ready.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 10:30 AM | Comments (19) | Add Comment
Post contains 532 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Good luck! I'm sure you will kick arse.

Posted by: Lee at September 18, 2008 12:18 PM (cP0Yl)

2 Break a leg, sweetie. You'll have everyone eating out of the palm of your hand! I just know it!

Posted by: Margi at September 18, 2008 12:24 PM (Xr7DE)

3 I'm certainly not one to give interviewing advice, seeing as I didn't get the last two jobs I've interviewed for. Fuckers. Ignoring my drama and moving on, good luck. I'm sure you'll impress and amaze. Seriously, how could you not?

Posted by: MsPrufrock at September 18, 2008 12:48 PM (6Mr1k)

4 You will do fabulously, I'm sure.

Posted by: Sarah at September 18, 2008 12:53 PM (D37sb)

5 I don't know - it's humerous to think of how the Swunt would look if those people she'd bad-mouthed you to realized that she's the psychotic bitch with an axe to grind.

Posted by: Tracy at September 18, 2008 01:03 PM (eiiGE)

6 Good Luck! No matter the outcome of this hunt I admire you for putting yourself out there, looking for a job is ass work. I hope you find a perfect fit, for you and for your family.

Posted by: Christina at September 18, 2008 01:25 PM (COFGd)

7 i agree with tracy, the swunt is the one that will look bad, not you. hold your head high and know you deserve to be there. good luck with your interviews!!!

Posted by: Kristen at September 18, 2008 01:36 PM (I4yBD)

8 Way to GO! The Swunt's credibility is about to take a serious nosedive. Congratulations on landing the interviews; you will do just wonderfully.

Posted by: Lisa at September 18, 2008 01:45 PM (hkgEp)

9 Good luck! We'll all be pulling for you.

Posted by: donna at September 18, 2008 01:45 PM (5dl0W)

10 So I know they say the best revenge is living well and all that. Bullshit. I say the best revenge is interacting with those to whom the Swunt has trashed you and having them realise that she is batshit insane and you are absolutely divine. (Because that might just make her head completely explode. And I don't know about you but sometimes I like watching Scanners.)

Posted by: Ms. Pants at September 18, 2008 02:19 PM (+p4Zf)

11 It may be scary as shit but think of how fucking rewarding it could be to show Company X exactly what you are really made of. Sorry for the cursing, bit grizzly today myself.

Posted by: Melissa at September 18, 2008 03:39 PM (+Wg/4)

12 A is right. Fuck it. You have proven yourself. If they don't like it, that's their problem. And about the Swunt trying to influence people, they're not idiots. They know what her motivations are. I'm glad to hear the interviews went well. Keeping my fingers crossed you'll get one of them.

Posted by: caltechgirl at September 18, 2008 04:11 PM (IfXtw)

13 Dude, you should totally try on the suit beforehand, because judging by the pic of you standing next to the window, you are much thinner now, and it may not fit well anymore! Go get them.....you can do it.

Posted by: Donna at September 18, 2008 05:08 PM (xua6K)

14 Good on ya girl, you go for it. I totally admire you taking the 'lack of direction' thing by the scruff of the neck....I need to take a leaf out of your book.

Posted by: Bee Cee at September 18, 2008 06:34 PM (ybA4Y)

15 Dear Helen, I'm so glad to hear that you got the interview! Well done. And I hope the other interview today went spectacularly well, though I certainly understand your lack of enthusiasm at facing such a difficult part of the past (and I had no idea that the Swunt was active in that too, ugh). I do think you have the cojones, but I understand not wanting to subject yourself to that stress constantly.

Posted by: Kath at September 18, 2008 06:45 PM (RTChg)

16 Just follow your gut. It will always lead you down the road you are meant to be on.

Posted by: Lauren at September 18, 2008 07:18 PM (Pt1kf)

17 Best of luck with the interviews. I would be wary about "occasional" travel. My husband was offered one of those: it turned out to be 4 days a week in Dublin which was more like relocation frankly.

Posted by: Betty M at September 18, 2008 07:42 PM (t4Aoi)

18 Luck be with ye.. so much in life really is luck..and timing.. then trumped by Irony, no less.

Posted by: j.m at September 19, 2008 06:13 AM (unAfC)

19 I still say the best revenge is exploding heads.

Posted by: Ms. Pants at September 19, 2008 01:28 PM (+p4Zf)

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