November 16, 2005

If You Need to Reach Me

Dear Very Nice Biopsy Receptionist,

Thank you for ringing me late Tuesday. You can send me the lab bill to:

22 Ass Bleed Continues
c/o Suppositories Not Working Way
Polypsville
UK12 7UK
Hemorrhoidia.

And you can address it to:

Miss Cancer Free.

My friends call me Benign.


-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 07:15 AM | Comments (31) | Add Comment
Post contains 60 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Try sitz bath. I had an unmentionable problem, and i was told to take sitz bath 3-4 times a day. Although hard to do while working, it helped. Have a good book handy.

Posted by: iowaslovak at November 16, 2005 09:20 AM (i/5Q1)

2 SO DAMN GLAD to hear it!!

Posted by: stinkerbell at November 16, 2005 09:34 AM (ZznPv)

3 Excellent, excellent! I knew it! I just had a feeling this would all work out. But, um, sorry about the "continues" part. Yeesh. Hey, I meant to ask: Is it the yoga that made your upper arms so nice and slender in the Paris photo? Because I am WAY jealous of that action. It's like no matter what I do, my upper arms continue looking hopelessly Irish.

Posted by: ilyka at November 16, 2005 11:53 AM (zqqQO)

4 Wahoo! I just knew your ass was perfect. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at November 16, 2005 12:20 PM (oqu5j)

5 Congrats. Hopefully the ass-bleed will realize that it's time to go away... yesterday... Sitz baths helped me greatly too. And would be comforting/soothing even if they didn't work.

Posted by: martha at November 16, 2005 01:20 PM (NjnSO)

6 Your friends are terribly relieved to hear it, Helen.

Posted by: RP at November 16, 2005 01:24 PM (fWrQ6)

7 Hoorah! So glad the ass bleed isn't a symptom of something so dreadful! Not so glad to hear the ass bleed is continuing. Hope that goes away soooooon!

Posted by: scorpy at November 16, 2005 02:05 PM (jiKe5)

8 Well.... I TOLD YOU SO!!! ;-) Glad I get to say that-and so happy for the good news of the lab results. Take care-

Posted by: Teresa at November 16, 2005 02:07 PM (zf0DB)

9 Woo Hoo! Awesome news. Sitz baths do work wonders and are a great excuse to take a break.

Posted by: selzach at November 16, 2005 02:16 PM (VOwP5)

10 Wonderful news!

Posted by: B at November 16, 2005 02:29 PM (TQHLW)

11 *whew* Excellent news! As least now you know it's a friendly ass bleed.

Posted by: karmajenn at November 16, 2005 02:35 PM (fx1A8)

12 Yay! Good news...except for that whole part about it continuing and suppositories not working.. but otherwise I'm glad to hear it!

Posted by: Erin at November 16, 2005 03:08 PM (BuifH)

13 Talk about Hot Sticky Buns! Glad to hear it's not worse.

Posted by: shugahbug at November 16, 2005 03:17 PM (lHvU3)

14 HALLELUJAH!

Posted by: kenju at November 16, 2005 03:43 PM (+AT7Y)

15 I am so glad!!

Posted by: ~Easy at November 16, 2005 04:43 PM (LN5gS)

16 What a relief! However, your ass is apparently a bit slow on absorbing the good news. :-)

Posted by: Jocelyn at November 16, 2005 05:05 PM (jkRb/)

17 ass bleed = boo! cancer free = yay! *smooch!*

Posted by: kat at November 16, 2005 06:11 PM (xB7GF)

18 Of course you're benign! Your writing could in no way be called malignant. I'm very happy about that. Now, as for Ass Bleed: Verily, I say unto thee, Begone, Foul Spirit! Demons OUT!

Posted by: B. Durbin at November 16, 2005 06:23 PM (XDml5)

19 Yay no caancer!!

Posted by: tommy at November 16, 2005 06:39 PM (/fIch)

20 Great news, Helen. Sorry that you're not officially a suppository-free zone yet, but you ARE cancer free, and that's what's important.

Posted by: physics geek at November 16, 2005 07:09 PM (Xvrs7)

21 Wow Helen... what great news!! OK, now to work on the stress free life... some little changes and one by one you're on the road to Happy You. Take it easy!

Posted by: Annette at November 16, 2005 07:50 PM (OGuOv)

22 Congrats! :-)

Posted by: Amber at November 16, 2005 08:38 PM (zQE5D)

23 Glad to hear that the big C is a no go. Got kinda worried when you didn't post for three days, but was relieved to hear that you went on vacation. Hope your ass feels better soon (giggle).

Posted by: diamond dave at November 16, 2005 11:37 PM (0gB9X)

24 Fabulous! So glad to hear it!

Posted by: kitty at November 17, 2005 12:52 AM (qrhgR)

25 I'm glad to hear that you are cancer-free. Here's hoping the ass-bleed situation is resolved and that you're okay!

Posted by: Marian at November 17, 2005 04:09 AM (TrUOv)

26 Good news!

Posted by: flikka at November 17, 2005 07:04 AM (puvdD)

27 Brilliant!

Posted by: Jennifer at November 17, 2005 01:04 PM (jl9h0)

28 Wonderful news!

Posted by: donna at November 17, 2005 02:03 PM (U1Lnv)

29 I'm sobbing. And still praying. I love you, kiddo.

Posted by: Margi at November 17, 2005 05:19 PM (nwEQH)

30 OH THANK GOD! I am elated...and crying. I am so grateful that you are cancer-free!!

Posted by: Dana at November 19, 2005 03:23 AM (b7OKi)

31 Great news!! Hugs and tons of healing love!!

Posted by: Azalea at November 19, 2005 10:16 PM (hRxUm)

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