Two Wednesdays ago I was in the pub with my work mates, ostensibly trying to shake off the work doldrums and the stress and just relax. Into my second glass of wine, the jokes flowing and the hatred of our jobs melting away under the ale-soaked base of a beer mat, my phone rang. I glanced at the number on it, and, not recognizing it, I very nearly didn't answer it. But my thumb was already under the flip, and with one motion I pushed the clam shell open and answered without thinking.

"Hello this is Helen." I said, mindlessly twirling my wine glass and making a cross-eyed face at Peter, who was laughing at me answering the phone while in the pub.

"Helen?" came a woman's voice.

"Speaking." I replied.

"Sorry, it's hard to hear you. This is Catherine with the Egg Share Clinic."

I stand up rapidly. "Hold on, Catherine. I'm just walking outside. Sorry for the noise, I'm just having an afterwork drink with my colleagues."

I walk outside into the cold Autumn night, and with a swing of the glass door I leave behind all the sounds and smells of the pub and of my day.

"Sorry about that. Can you hear me better now? I was just having a few drinks. Not like I drink much, I really don't, I just am having a social evening." I ask, my heart racing. I worry I will be disqualified for liking my grape juice.

"Yes, thank you, no worries. Sorry for ringing so late,"-we are obviously both very apologetic people-"but I had some news. We have all your test results in, and they're all ok, both you and Angus, and so we entered you into our database."

I listen, not surprised that our test results are ok but surprised they would call so late on a work day.

"And the good news is, we've matched you with a donee." she says, a smile in her voice.

My knees go weak. "What?" I ask.

"That's right! We have found an absolutely perfect match. We've already discussed it with her and she's ready to proceed when you are, so we just need to talk about timings."

I feel I need to sit down. They have a match. She has accepted. I feel like crying and laughing and throwing up and saying a quiet thank you into the night.

"We're going to start the process after our holiday with Angus' children. They have to come first-they have school holidays and we go away with them for two weeks during them. Since I can't do any long haul flights while getting ready for IVF, I need to make sure it's done after their holidays, which I will get back to you on the dates for. It's not until after the New Year, though, as we can't go through this process over the holidays, it's just too difficult."

"That's absolutely no problem," she replies. We agree to talk in a few weeks time, once the kids' holiday schedule is firmed up.

And just like that, there's a woman out there in a quiet corner of England whose name has been taken off a list. She's been waiting for two years to have eggs donated to her, and with the click of a mouse and a few criteria, a lot of patience and a bucket of tears, she will have half of mine. A phone call made to her linked her life and my life forever, in good luck or bad luck.

I wonder how she reacted. I wonder if she's angry I want to wait until after the holiday season. I wonder if she cried, if she hugged her partner, or if she smiled to herself.

I raised my wine glass to the busy London road, and I said a toast to the woman who is going to be going through it all with me, and then I went inside.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 10:58 AM | Comments (23) | Add Comment
Post contains 667 words, total size 4 kb.

1 That is something to toast indeed. I won't say Congrats to jinx it, but I will say that I am happy for you and good luck!

Posted by: wn at November 07, 2005 01:23 PM (zh/oU)

2 Wow. Beautiful news. I am so happy for you-best of luck!

Posted by: Teresa at November 07, 2005 02:40 PM (zf0DB)

3 That is wonderful news. I admire you so much for doing this. You are really making another family's dreams come true. Now just relax and enjoy your holidays!

Posted by: donna at November 07, 2005 03:17 PM (x8EDR)

4 Filed this under 'Happy Post'.

Posted by: Marie at November 07, 2005 03:31 PM (PQxWr)

5 I shared in your joy - so much so that tears welled up in my eyes. Congratulations, Helen.

Posted by: Dana at November 07, 2005 03:36 PM (VQW8j)

6 Hoorah!

Posted by: amy t. at November 07, 2005 03:46 PM (zPssd)

7 Great news, Helen. Really, really great.

Posted by: physics geek at November 07, 2005 03:48 PM (Xvrs7)

8 This gets a big Mazel Tov! Kinda puts the job crap in perspective, right?

Posted by: Jocelyn at November 07, 2005 04:13 PM (jkRb/)

9 She's probably doing exactly what I'm doing -- feeling pretty awed by you. Love you, kiddo. . .

Posted by: Margi at November 07, 2005 04:22 PM (nwEQH)

10 That is so lovely. You are going to make life. What a blessing, Helen.

Posted by: RP at November 07, 2005 04:37 PM (LlPKh)

11 wow, that's amazing. :-) ((Hugs and Love to you darlin))

Posted by: kat at November 07, 2005 04:41 PM (xB7GF)

12 yay! am so happy for you. this is truly a blessing!

Posted by: ribbiticus at November 07, 2005 04:46 PM (px0Xs)

13 That is awesome news, indeed, Helen! Now it will be difficult to wait! We'll all be waiting with you, though.

Posted by: scorpy at November 07, 2005 06:34 PM (0vEuv)

14 oh Helen! Wonderful news! It's amazing how life is just this big nasty roller coaster, isn't it? keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you and Angus and the other family, too.

Posted by: caltechgirl at November 07, 2005 07:31 PM (/vgMZ)

15 This is actually the promotion you've been waiting for. Congratulations!! I may fall off the wagon tonight and have a beer in your honor.

Posted by: ~Easy at November 07, 2005 08:35 PM (LN5gS)

16 Yep. There's that roller-coaster again. Weeeeeee~~~ Oh, hon...I'm so happy for you. I won't jinx ya by getting too excited. We'll just wait and let you enjoy the holidays and relax and try and let all this nasty job stuff go away so you can get into perfect 'mommy' mode... yep... I said the "m" word. So sue me. Love, ya, kid. You're gonna be great!!! {{{{hugs}}}}}

Posted by: sue at November 07, 2005 10:43 PM (WbfZD)

17 How wonderful. This post made me cry tears of joy for you and for her.

Posted by: B at November 07, 2005 11:07 PM (EolI8)

18 Fabulous news! I will hope the best for both of you. Will you get to meet her?

Posted by: kenju at November 08, 2005 01:04 AM (+AT7Y)

19 Kenju-we're not allowed to meet, no. Hospital rules. She can't even know my name until the child turns 18, then they get my info. We're in seperate areas of the hospital at seperate times, and all she will have of me are the eggs and that green sheet of paper I need to fill out telling her about myself.

Posted by: Helen at November 08, 2005 10:33 AM (iSw6s)

20 OK, I know I'm stupid, but I can't help it. I don't understand. Are you donating your eggs to someone else - and you'll never see the child - it will be hers? Or are you donating eggs to her - she gets to keep one and give one back to you after it's fertilized? Why is someone else involved? I looked up IVF and it said that an egg and sperm are combined in a petri dish kind of thing - and when the cells begin to multiply, it is transplanted into the mother. If this is so, then why is another person involved? Please forgive my stupidity, but I've been reading you a while - and I haven't understood the details of the IVF thing.

Posted by: suze at November 08, 2005 09:45 PM (QIke7)

21 Very good wishes headed your way as you take the next step on this amazing journey!

Posted by: sophie at November 08, 2005 10:18 PM (yZwDD)

22 Amazing, glorious news. My heart is full for you and Angus....

Posted by: Elizabeth at November 09, 2005 02:10 PM (s3LS9)

23 YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best of luck Helen!!!!!

Posted by: Larry at November 09, 2005 10:22 PM (0akNw)

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