Today we are finishing up the goodbye jobs in our old rental home in Hartley Wintney and get ready to hand it over tomorrow morning.
Then we are back at our home for further work. This weekend is earmarked to install a shower in a our currently shower-less home (we only have a bathtub in this house. That's right. And there is no fucking way we're spending our lives with a cup in the bathroom in order to wash our hair.) This includes installing piping, tiling, painting, ripping out carpet and installing floorboards, and weeping copious amounts of tears.
It's unbelievable how much work is still to go.
Earlier in the week I noticed a large wet spot in the horrid carpet in the bathroom. I thought it was overspill from the sink but lo and behold! The truth is that the woman who owned the house before us was a hand over Bible believer in the power of bleach. She used so much of it it's worn the enamel joint off the soil pipe of the toilet. The wet spot? It's the toilet leaking as it gets flushed. There are whole new levels of fuck nasty in that carpet, I would call out a Hazmat team but instead the toilet gets repaired, the carpet gets ripped out and replaced with wood floors and I burn my hands off with a blowtorch afterwards in order to get the horrible "I'm covered with germs" feeling off.
The study looks like someone threw a couple of book boxes in it, ducked down and shouted "Fire in the hole!" and waited for the residual blast of literary goodness to rocket through the room. There are cables everywhere. There are, I think, cables for cables. It makes me want to cry thinking about the work that needs to be done in there, and it doesn't even include the floors or the walls which the truth is? We haven't done yet.
The living room has the sparsity of a university dorm room and about as much design sense to boot. It is the room that IKEA built when we moved in together two years ago and while we won't be swapping things out just now, we do need to do something with it. The problem is, we both have had the design bypass, so that living room? It'll be a while.
This doesn't include the hallways that need painting, the downstairs bathroom that needs a personality makeover, or the stairs that need to be freed of their magenta carpeting. This'll be our Easter weekend (we get Friday and Monday off of work). We'll be working on the Blackberries the entire time.
If anyone needs me, I'm in the kitchen with the gin.
-H.
1
Are you doing that thing where you just stand in one spot and turn slowly around and around, looking at everything you need to do and having no idea where to start?
I do that a lot.
Posted by: jac at April 14, 2006 09:44 AM (yWjEV)
2
good thing I am sending likker!
Posted by: stinkerbell at April 14, 2006 09:54 AM (QcMkT)
3
Pour the gin on the toilet and the bathroom floor; maybe it will disinfect the place and be a lot easier on your hands!
Posted by: kenjukenju at April 14, 2006 11:45 AM (2+7OT)
4
Hiya, just got referred to your site through a friend of a friend of a friend...I myself am an American girl now living in Ireland, so I look forward to reading your archives!
Posted by: Sarah at April 14, 2006 12:39 PM (lX7EW)
5
You should have stopped at "carpeting in the bathroom". The thought of all the pee that missed the toilet made my breakfast lurch.
But no, you had to throw in "leaky toilet". Leaking from the bad end, no less.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!
(projectile vomiting in the trashcan next to my desk)
If I were you, I'd burn the whole place down and let insurance pay to rebuild it the way you want it. Just kidding, you and Angus have sweated too much blood to get this place.
Better yet, find the fucker whose idea it was to put carpeting in the bathroom and burn his (or her) ass instead.
Posted by: diamond dave at April 14, 2006 02:59 PM (xwgYX)
6
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4881474.stm
Saw this and thought of you...
Posted by: Jayne at April 14, 2006 03:13 PM (q5uvl)
7
It looks like you definately have your hands full and I would be doing the same thing..spinning around the house going OMG Where in the hell do I start!! It's getting there...
Posted by: Amanda at April 14, 2006 05:11 PM (838ff)
8
Gin after painting, love, or you'll have to do it all again. Although I suppose with enough gin that won't matter either.
Posted by: caltechgirl at April 14, 2006 06:39 PM (jOkK0)
9
My house has carpet in the bathroom. It's first on my list of things to replace but it's just not possible right now. I do wish you'd stop grossing me out with all the talk of urine everywhere. I can block it out when I'm at home but when I read your blog allll my walls of illusion come crumbling down. So, now I'm sitting here at work and my skin is crawling.
I need a new house. Now.
Posted by: Lindsay at April 14, 2006 07:09 PM (mHNC3)
10
Okay, Helen? Deep breath.
The trick to this is to take it in manageable chunks. At least we know that though you may be daunted by the appalling amount of work, you are not letting that stop you from diving in. But you need your priorities— and I think they're in the right place, what with the repair-rip up-replace mantra you've got right now.
So I'll mention the next step, which is the design sense you complain that you're lacking. It's not as hard as you think. The most important thing to remember is to design your rooms around you rather than assume your lifestyle is going to change to accomodate the design.
The principle is pretty simple. If you find that mail and keys and random grimple accumulate at one end of the couch, maybe you need an endtable there. And a trashcan. If you find yourself bumping a table everytime you bring in groceries, move it. If there's a part of the room you never, ever find yourself in, get better lighting— or move the dog bed there.
Aside from that, hang pictures at eye level (unless you have a lot, in which case cover the wall) and try not to have more than one pattern in the room, no matter what the designers say, because they're on crack. And be comfortable, because this is your gorgeous lovely house and if you can't be comfortable there, what's the point?
Posted by: B. Durbin at April 15, 2006 01:53 AM (ypP8j)
11
I am cheering you both on but I just had to say Gorby looks so happy in that new pic...he's dog smiling!You're going to get a buttload of good karma for making that dog so happy.
Posted by: Fawn at April 15, 2006 02:39 AM (4wDUo)
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