Alive and ok in the U.S.A. And I have managed to have Starbucks everyday thus far, in a trend that I am becoming alarmingly dependent on. I can now say: "Venti non-fat caramel macchiato" in my sleep. I wonder if there are actual traces of caramel in my bloodstream.
I am now in Dallas, sitting in my mother and stepfather's study, wrapped in a blanket and paralyzed with back problems and insomnia.
Cool.
NYC was great. Much sightseeing was done there on Friday, we saw Rockafeller Center, Grand Central Station (several times, since that is the setting for the book I am writing so I wanted to make sure I didn't screw it up!), the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Times Square, Soho, Chinatown, Wall Street, and the WTC site.
A guy tried to hit on me at the WTC site. Talk about weirdly inappropriate.
We also saw the movie "Big Fish", which I thought was lovely and sweet. We saw this since I somehow injured my back and was forced to walk around like an 80 year old woman for the latter half of Friday. I injured my back about 2 years ago, and now in times of severe stress or if I've slept wrong, it acts up again and feels like a steel pole is soddered to my spine. I'm getting better, but Saturday morning we didn't even leave the hotel, since I couldn't walk.
The flight to Newark was amazing. We got upgraded and put in business class, which on an Airbus 330 trans-Atlantic flight kicked a clown's ass. We were hammered about halfway through the flight (here is your before take-off wine. And your appetizer wine. And your dinner wine. And your dessert wine. And your aperitif. And a few more glasses just because you have really nice breasts), wearing strange green socks and armed with comfy quilted blankets. If you pushed a button that looked like a bed, the amazing jumping seat contraption unfolded and you were whisked off into slumberland (or alcoholic passing out in our case). It was fucking fantastic. All it was missing was a sparkly vibrator to make my plane trip even better (or John Cusack seated next to me. You know, the live version of the sparkly vibrator). I bet they would've kicked my ass right out of there had they known I was recently unemployed and that my silver frequent flier card hadn't a donkey's chance in hell of going up a level any longer.
Arriving to Newark International Airport was a bit strange. Just as we had arrived, the snow started to whiz down out of the sky. It took a while to arrange transport to NYC, but once that was done we stood out in the blistering cold to wait for it.
I looked around. Was I really home (not thinking about New Jersey here)? Did I feel anything special?
Me: Sorry, but it doesn't really feel any different. I don't feel suddenly comforted by being in the border of the U.S. just now. It's rather like being in any other country that I am a visitor in, only I know a great deal more about how this one works.
Him: That's funny. Whenever I fly back to Sweden from anywhere, even if it's just for a few days away or anything, I start to relax immediately when I am back in the borders of Sweden. I just know I'm home.
Whew. Now I'm really depressed.
Partner Unit and I have been having a number of extremely frank talks. We have discussed Ed the Evil One going to his mother, who has a house in the country and is fucking mad about the dog. We have discussed selling the Dream House. And we have discussed how we never talk about anything serious, and never have done either.
We also got into it on Friday when I told him that I am thinking of cutting my hair. He is dead against it. We started discussing as we shrugged on our coats to go outside.
Me (lifting my hair out from under my coat): I am thinking of cutting all of my hair off. I will send it off to Locks of Love.
Him: I think it's a terrible idea to cut your hair. I'm dead against it. I think you're ugly with short hair.
I waited a pause to notice a smile on his face or something.
Nothing.
He was serious.
Ouch. That hurt. It also strengthened my resolve. The hair is going, and I think I will go for this cut.
I am nothing if not stubborn and rebellious.
-H.
1
Partner Unit sounds like an asshole. Sorry if that means I can no longer comment or visit...but.
Posted by: Jay at December 21, 2003 02:46 PM (TsNvQ)
2
Geeze, I can't believe he said you were ugly! Oh..my..God!!!! What an asshat!It I were you, I'd cut my hair, too - oh, but wait, my hair is already short. WHat a jerk! That one comment is unforgiveable!
Other than that, hope you have a good time. Maybe you can conquer your ghosts while there.
Oh, and I also have a sister like that. Good luck!
Posted by: Beth at December 21, 2003 03:08 PM (igCu1)
3
NOOOOOO!!!
Not the hair! Please, I'll do anything. Will bribery work? I'll start the "Save Helen's Hair" foundation. I'll give you my firstborn child (it's okay, I've got two spares).
It's not a question of hotness - you'd still be smokin' if you were bald. It's just that true sultriness has a minimum hair length requirement and that length is well past the shoulders. (Optimal length is lower back, right around the butt dimple level.)
Posted by: Jim at December 21, 2003 03:58 PM (fkewd)
4
Quick note
I drink the Caramel Macchiato iced so you def have good taste
. Though it has a shit load of carbs I cant seem to break it (along with caffine and Catchup).
Grand Central is Amazing. Did you see the strikers by the Oyster Bar while you were there? Also MTA had a loud protest on Thursday so Im not sure if you saw it or not but it was amuzing.
Cutting your hair sounds fine. But dont do it just to piss someone off. Do it cause you want to. Cutting off your nose to spite your face comes to mind.
Be good..Drew
Posted by: Drew at December 21, 2003 04:07 PM (K/rfM)
5
I'd have to leave the sumbitch for that. That's emotional battery in my book. Seriously. And, I'm so freaking rebellious I'd probably shave my head just for effect. Done it before. Ha!
Of course, it IS winter. Hmmm...
I think that haircut would look great on you.
Whatever you do, though, have a great holiday - and take care of your back!
Posted by: pam at December 21, 2003 04:24 PM (VTBBF)
6
my ex-husband told me that i would look stupid with short hair.
kept the hair (for a while) and got rid of him.
Posted by: hilary at December 21, 2003 04:40 PM (58dWV)
7
Whoa. Dickhole alert.
I had a boyfriend who was dead set against me cutting my hair. I knew the relationship was floundering (this is the guy who was beaten with a prosthetic leg, mind you) and the fact that he was so adament about me
not cutting my hair only made me want to do it. So I did. And broke up with him the next day. It was like cutting my hair and being okay afterwards was enough to let me know I'd also be okay if I left him.
And I think that cut is fucking deelovely!! Oh la la la la la la la la.
Posted by: Sarah at December 21, 2003 05:55 PM (YMzHW)
8
fuck that shit!
yeah, i'd get all rebellious on the comment as well. and anyone who tells you you're ugly with a hair change needs to get clocked. if you drive up to boston i can have that arranged. ;-)
Posted by: kat at December 21, 2003 08:43 PM (FhSIP)
9
Why that obtuse little fuck! Drive that bonehead to the airport right now! In the list of things that makes you an amazing person I don't see your hair being anywhere near the top 10.
Good luck with the back problems. How about inversion boots?!
Take care, PC
Posted by: Paul USA at December 21, 2003 09:18 PM (u4gcH)
10
Yeah, it's a strange thing-this morning once he woke up and turned to me and apologized for saying that, almost like he had read my blog (he hadn't). But he still maintained that I am prettier with long hair.
Drew, I did see the strike! I thought they looked quite well organized, but something makes me think that they are not going to succeed against such a monsterously big restaurant!
Posted by: Helen at December 21, 2003 09:54 PM (FpuBY)
11
I'm with you. I originally said to keep your long hair, but now I say cut it. Screw him. That was so rude!
And I saw the picture of you with short hair. You looked great! I had said to keep the long hair because I've been growing mine from a short cut. It's a pain, but so what. Hair grows.
But just make sure you do it because you want to, not just to spite him.
Have fun in Dallas!
Posted by: dawn at December 21, 2003 10:20 PM (Phojb)
12
I dont either. They are striking to get health benefits that other employees get within the organization. Resturant says they cant afford it. I guess it will all depend on whether people will stop eating there or not. So far I dont think buisness is down.
The MTA one was a bit more amusing with the Loudspeakers and such. They were protesting job cuts which always brings out a crowd. To think when you saw the strike you were 5 min away from where I worked. Sigh
Posted by: Drew at December 21, 2003 10:20 PM (K/rfM)
13
That was pretty rude...he should love you for you, and not give a damn about what length your hair is...he sounds like someone I'd like have a chat with..
Posted by: Eric at December 21, 2003 11:03 PM (fZKKx)
14
I typed and re-typed this comment numeorous times. Each time I began with a put down of Swedes but on second thought I know alot of Swedes and they are nice, caring guys who treat their wives and girlfriends with great respect and love. You are with an asshole. I do know a few arrogant, asshole Swedes though.
Welcome to Dallas!
Posted by: Ozone Ferd at December 21, 2003 11:08 PM (C0RAp)
15
Not the hair! Please, I'll do anything.
Jim, you have five minutes in which to quit being a fucking pig before I drive to Georgia and beat your ass.
Honestly, after what he said to her?--She should shave it.
Posted by: ilyka at December 21, 2003 11:10 PM (3rblE)
16
Once upon a time, not so long ago, my boyfriend told me if i cut my hair he would break up with me.
I cut my hair.
I broke up with him.
And i lived happily ever after.
Posted by: Laura at December 21, 2003 11:28 PM (UPPF2)
17
Well.. if you have to cut it.. Locks of Love is the way to go... I REALLY REALLY hate getting my hair cut.. so every few years (ie when my boss starts commenting
I donate if I can manage to get it long enough..
Posted by: LarryConley at December 22, 2003 12:57 AM (A4qhf)
18
That's the spirit! My husband says similar things about my having brown hair. It was dyed blonde for a while, red for a very short while, purple for slightly longer than the red etc..but I keep coming back to my (almost) natural brown, which he hates. Whenever he tells me he likes it better blonde I just say "it's a good thing it's not your hair then" and soon after that it'll be darker brown
Posted by: Erin at December 22, 2003 03:05 AM (PV5S4)
19
Fuck 'em...and not in a good way.
Posted by: Marie at December 22, 2003 03:53 AM (3Y1np)
20
I like the long hair, but I keep mine about ass length, so its just me. That cut is cute too, so go for it. If my man said that to me, I'd cut HIS hair. Dick! : O)
Posted by: JaxVenus at December 22, 2003 07:10 AM (D5Tko)
21
What a stuffy-assed cocksucker. I say cut it, even if it's out of spite. Spite is an awesome thing!! LOL
Actually, I'm usually more attracted to women with shorter hair. For him to say what he did was fucking classless and I wanna smash him in the nuts.
Glad to hear you made it here safely (and in style, apparently) and hope your time here gets better. Can't wait to see what's next.
Posted by: James at December 22, 2003 08:47 AM (rZmE1)
22
Its one thing to say you prefer someone's hair a certain style, its entirely different to say a certain hair style will make them "ugly". It would almost be funny if it wasn't so lame.
You have commented before on how good a guy PU is, from what I have read, I think in most cases you are probably not far off. You have also mentioned how he seems to only be able to deal with "surface Helen", The comments he made prove it =/
This is further confirmed by his "apology". I doubt what he said hurt nearly as much as his inability to put aside his petty whims and help you decide what is right for you. His opportunity to express his opinion and try to sway you to his preference ended about 2 seconds after he answered you the first time it was brought up. After that he is just being selfish and controlling.
If he thinks its your hair that makes you beautiful, the boy is missing the best part!
Dane
Posted by: Dane at December 22, 2003 11:30 AM (ncyv4)
23
Read Jay's comment (it's the first one). I agree wholeheartedly. What an insensitive schmuck. Helen, in case you don't know, because you've not been exposed to it before, a good husband would not say something like that.
And I'm changing my mind, cut the damn hair if you want. Normally I'd be against it, because making major changes when you're in transition is a bad idea, generally. But it'll grow back. If it's what you need to do (I'm being consistent with what I said back in November, I guess), do it.
What happened with the job? Did they extend the interview, or are you doing a phone thing?
And, by the way, welcome back to the U.S. of A. We missed you.
Posted by: Jiminy at December 22, 2003 03:31 PM (NPG5z)
24
I once had a guy friend tell me my face was too fat for short hair. At the time, my hair was mid-back long. I bobbed it up to my ears, and the next time I saw him he didn't even notice I'd cut it. And also, the last time I wanted to cut my hair, Current Man said he liked it long. I had short hair when we met, told him so, and he just kind of gave me a pleading look. I cut it, and while he wasn't thrilled at first, it grew on him and after a few days when anyone would comment on my hair, he'd say "I know! Doesn't she look great!" Screw Partner Unit. Do it. And that cut would look great on you! Have fun in Dallas.
Posted by: amy t. at December 22, 2003 04:09 PM (Pdh6k)
25
Perhaps I shall receive the ubiquitous snarls from others...but it seems people are obsessed with your looks. "You are smokin"", etc....
That is treating someone as an object and I refuse to do that. You seem like a pleasant person, long hair, short hair, no hair. Perhaps because I get laid a lot, I am not in the habit of wooing online. I like your blog because you write honestly, a too rare commodity. I wish you well and think that despite your looks, or what others think of them, you are simply an extraordinary person.
Your husband is an ass.
Cheers,
Jay
Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2003 04:25 PM (TsNvQ)
26
Oh, for fuck's sake. If his feelings about you would alter because of hair length, it's time to dump and run. Screw it.
(Sorry, H, but honestly! He cares that much about HAIR?)
Posted by: Kaetchen at December 22, 2003 08:10 PM (WZyYB)
27
hi, just wanted to add my .02 to this. I once made a similar mistake of telling my ex that she looked like a little boy after she cut her hair up to her ears... Needless to say, no nookie for months and it cost me a bundle in roses and chocolate. Cut the hair and black mail his ass, it worked for my ex!
On a side note, I was just in Stockholm and found it to be a gorgeous city. Very clean and every person I met was extremely nice. So, a collective "Thank you" from Dave in San Diego
Posted by: ddc at December 23, 2003 01:44 PM (LCau4)
28
I'm gonna have to agree with Kaetchen. If he's going to have a tiff about your hair, what's he going to be like when you start to get older or if you ever put on weight or anything about you changed?
Kick him to the curb.
Posted by: Serenity at December 24, 2003 01:42 AM (4A/WT)
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