Today is a holiday here in Sweden. It's called "Lucia Day", and is the day of the year when it is the darkest (symbolically that is, as the real day with the shortest amount of daylight is December 23), the day when winter smacks you across the face to remind you that in the north, you should never take the daylight for granted. There is no daylight at all in the north of Sweden today, and just a few hours of it here in Stockholm.

The day is celebrated by a short processional led by a young woman wearing candles on her head, surrounded by a chorus of others holding candles, and they sing traditional songs in a way of marking the darkness, and noting how now we will start getting a few minutes more of daylight each day. It's a way to mark the darkness, but also a celebration that light is coming back. It's the direct contrast to Midsummer, which is celebrated with wild drunken orgy-like abandon in the middle of July, the day in which the sun doesn't set really.

I was Lucia once in a Lucia parade, dressed in a white gown with a red sash, a crown of candles in my hair and a wreath of flowers in my hand. It was my first December in Sweden then, and I just stood there and smiled while the others sang the songs, since they were in Swedish and I didn't understand it all then. The chorus are men and women dressed in white robes and red sashes, and the men wear a tall white triangular hat that looks uncomfortably like the attire of the KKK, but it has nothing to do with that whatsoever (I am relieved to say).

And it is very cold, very gray outside today, although a bit lighter in appearance since there is a light snowfall. I have had a fire going all morning since I couldn't sleep, and today will be spent cleaning, applying for jobs, and picking up the last few Christmas presents that I need to buy.

On Lucia day you are supposed to eat a special type of baked bun, called a Luciabulle. And on the four Sundays before Christmas, we light advent lights. One candle is lit and allowed to burn just a bit on the first Sunday. The second Sunday, the first candle and a second candle are lit and allowed to burn just a bit, and so on.

This year there are no Luciabulle in the house. There is no advent taper lit and ready to go, it is still in the box it was hastily stuffed in at the end of last year, getting dusty in the attic. There are no decorations, no lights, no sign at all that it is the holiday season here. Neither I nor Partner Unit feel the need to celebrate this year, nor do we see the need to drag out all the decorations when it is just an empty celebration.

All this might sound pretty down, but in fact right now I feel ok (perhaps it's all that curry I have been eating). I am still endlessly sending off CVs. I still have absolutely no idea what is going to happen with my life, my career, my location, or my relationships. But right now I'm ok. I just sit, write, look out the study window at the falling snow, and I don't mind that it's the darkest day of the year.

Because at the end of the darkest day of the year comes the light. The light which will, despite the cold, start to pervade the little corners and areas of each little house and garden. Proof that after the longest night, the sun will come back and illuminate our lives.

And I have to hope that the light will find me, too.
-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 11:02 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
Post contains 656 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Living near a Swedish settlement, I've seen many pictures of Lucia Day celebrations, but have never actually seen them. But ah, the memories from the one Midsommar Mom & I took in the year before she died!

Posted by: brj at December 13, 2003 11:24 AM (PTH+N)

2 The images of snow and cold and sweden that you talk about are like a frozen coke for my mind after the glaring heat here today...Thankyou

Posted by: nisi at December 13, 2003 11:59 AM (/t2Bt)

3 from the land of nisi... I almost baked in my car today, driving home from a visit to my folks! We're celebrating midsummer next weekend. I can hardly imagine, right now, a day being so dark as yours must be. There's never a whole lot of difference between the length of the day and the length of the night here, unlike when you live closer to the poles.

Posted by: melanie at December 13, 2003 12:55 PM (jDC3U)

4 Yup. Who else wants to rock up at Helen's house? I will sleep in the snow. Damned Australia and it's heat. I hope that the light will find you also, and I'm sure that it will. But I also hope that you realize your torch works just fine. I should take up some form of martial art so I can wear one of the cool Gi things while I say semi-cryptic shit like that.

Posted by: Jamie at December 13, 2003 02:48 PM (LzPnw)

5 i was part of a lucia day celebration in when i was six. i didn't really understand what it was. but there's a picture of me looking all stoic with a candle in my hand. i always try to remember that the light is coming back this time of year. it will definitely find you.

Posted by: kat at December 13, 2003 04:40 PM (FhSIP)

6 Summer people all out today? Someone left the freezer open here cause its as cold as hell. I dont always subscribe to the silver lining theory because sometimes there isnt a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep your spirits up and your options open and just keep pushing forward.

Posted by: Drew at December 13, 2003 05:10 PM (K/rfM)

7 I prefer not to say that the light will find you. I think in terms of you seeking and finding your light, wherever you choose to find it. And I believe you will.

Posted by: Joey at December 13, 2003 06:37 PM (Jq6q/)

8 whats up your not judging for King of Blogs any more?

Posted by: pylorns at December 13, 2003 06:43 PM (FQQ7F)

9 Seeing as you're one of the candles which holds back the darkness, I'd say you've got an awfully good chance of the light finding you... seems to me it already surrounds you, even if isn't always a huge bright beacon, but only a soft glow. Hmmm.. maybe I need one o'them there gi thangs, too!

Posted by: jean at December 13, 2003 07:10 PM (Af9+w)

10 My Aussie friends-we are still getting snowed on here. Shall I send some? Kat-I would love to see that pic! Drew-I worry that there is no silver lining either, but I keep hoping! Joey and Jean-as ever, you are such support and I love you for it. Pylorns-I didn't get an email advising me to. I thought it was over?

Posted by: Helen at December 13, 2003 08:42 PM (xLRiJ)

11 obviously a mis-communication some where...

Posted by: pylorns at December 13, 2003 11:30 PM (fD1hc)

12 i've posted the pic on my blog! :-)

Posted by: kat at December 14, 2003 01:05 AM (FhSIP)

13 You are the light in our darkness, illuminate for yourself. And we will find light and warmth from that. God (or whatever there is) keep you, Helen.

Posted by: Dr_Funk at December 14, 2003 09:10 AM (JB8pq)

14 And the sea will grant each man new hope, as sleep brings dreams of home. Christopher Columbus

Posted by: pylorns at December 14, 2003 03:38 PM (AhTDr)

15 I can just see posted snow... jiffy bag gone soggy, from the inside out! good luck with that interview!

Posted by: melanie at December 16, 2003 03:21 AM (zSCH6)

Hide Comments | Add Comment