This is maybe going to make me unpopular and potentially end up in nasty emails, but I promise there's a reason for what I'm about to say.

I weighed myself on Sunday. Shockingly, I discovered I'd lost another kilo (2.2 pounds). I am two sizes smaller than I was before I heaved twins around. I now weigh about 12 pounds less than I did before I got pregnant, and as both Angus and I had been on a serious diet and exercise regime when we kicked off that cycle I was already at a low weight.

I haven't weighed this little since junior high.

Believe it or not, I'm not boasting here an I apologize if I come across that way or make anyone feel bad. You maybe want to tell me to quit my bitching (which I would understand) and certainly if I hadn't shaken off the baby weight I would be bitching about having the opposite problem. I know it's good that less than 6 months after giving birth to twins I not only have my figure back, but I have someone else's much better figure to boot. But the truth is I'm actually worried now.

I am pretty sure that there's something wrong.

I don't lose weight easily. I can lose a few pounds, yes, but I can just as easily gain a few by simply thinking about macaroni and chees. My body hit a specific weight about 10 years ago and basically decided that's where it wanted to stay. Even during anorexic periods I never really lost loads of weight, my shape has the stubborn mule attitude my brain has always claimed as its own. "What, me? Change? I don't have to change, you change instead!" I never got to the weight I am now. It just isn't that easy for me.

And I'm eating. I eat regularly, I'm not skipping meals, I'm eating plenty of naughty things like cheese and such, so it's not because I'm depriving myself. I don't belong to a gym anymore, and since the babies started nursery I'm running around the house a lot less than I used to so it's definitely not due to exercise. And yet I'm still losing weight. Jeans I bought at New Year slide right off my body, even when buttoned and belted. I have only one pair of trousers that fit anymore. My bras are all too big as my breasts are shrinking. I have visible cheekbones and I never had cheekbones before, they were always buried somewhere in my round face. And even though my stomach apron is present and accounted for, I was shocked on Sunday to see my hipbone sticking prominently out of my pelvis.

A recent blood workup showed only two abnormalities - my cholesterol is actually too low (nice problem to have, I guess) and my white blood cell count is too low as well. Neither of those can account for what's going on with me, although perhaps it explains why I'm covered in bruises, most of which I don't even know how I got. It also explains why I am constantly so fucking tired. My thyroid checked out fine, so it's not a thyroid problem. I'm going to go back and ask for more tests to be run.

I know it sounds crazy - I should be glad I got my body back so fast after pregnancy, and believe me I am glad. I'm not checking the orhthodontics of a gifted equine or anything. But to keep losing weight without trying, begging, pleading, and offering sacrifices to the gods is not something my body does, not ever. To be this size is not normal for me. I want to find out if this is based on nothing at all, or if I need to sit my body down in the naughty chair.

-H.

Posted by: Everydaystranger at 09:03 AM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
Post contains 652 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Good luck getting it all sorted out and trust me, I know how you feel. I am about 6 kg less than pre-pregnancy and I also have no clothes that fit.

Posted by: Veronica at March 25, 2008 10:59 AM (AmYEx)

2 I'm no expert, but it is normal for your body to do things it didn't do before after a pregnancy. That can go either way, from gaining weight quickly to losing weight quickly. But I would get it checked out, as a precaution. You just never know... Good luck!

Posted by: Amanda at March 25, 2008 01:13 PM (ay+rD)

3 Oh, I know exactly what's happening. Matter can never be destroyed, and for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. The weight you lost has come stateside, and taken up residence on my ass. Seriously? You can have it back. Plus a little extra in the location of your choosing. Hips? Boobs? You pick.

Posted by: Tracy at March 25, 2008 01:38 PM (zv3bS)

4 Could be the tablets. Many often have that "side-effect". I hope you are overreacting and it isn't anything serious and you've hit the lottery -beautiful babies, beautiful figure!

Posted by: oddybobo at March 25, 2008 01:50 PM (mZfwW)

5 I did that when I had my daughter. About 6 months after she was born, I lost weight and wore a size 0. Literally, not a size. I'm hoping I do that again in a couple of months... cause, the skin I am carrying is driving me crazy.

Posted by: Andria at March 25, 2008 02:13 PM (Oo4k1)

6 I wanted to comment when the sickness came to your house, "at least you will lose some weight" but didn't think it was appropriate. Do you think the illness you all had has anything to do with it? It has happened to me and it did take awhile to regain the weight back, but come back it always does! ;-)

Posted by: Judi at March 25, 2008 02:42 PM (MvHfg)

7 That is still a little scary. I hope it turns out to just be a jump-started post-pregnancy metabolism.

Posted by: Mel at March 25, 2008 04:31 PM (hfGUT)

8 You have knee cancer. Trust me, I have it periodically too. Just like my friend had a brain tumor last month because of a naggy headache in one spot for three days. She got online, started researching her symptoms and BAM! Brain tumor cropped up, again and again. In her mind, she started thinking about dying and how would her children fend without her and she worried for three days straight. Then she finally worried about it out loud to her husband, who happens to be a well-respected physician and he laughed and laughed. This is why I try not to talk about my knee-cancer. Or my diabetes which I had for a few days last year (I had the misfortune of typing in a Google search for an infected toenail; if you type in ANYTHING wrong about feet, it's diabetes for sure). Or my skin cancer the other day which turned out to be a pimple. I worried all day about my skin cancer and by the time my husband got home, I was frantic, sure that my time had come. He examined me and found...a PIMPLE! Okay, all kidding aside (although I really do freak myself out periodically over becoming terminally ill)...I was so thin after I had my first baby too. When she was six months, I was fitting back into my skinny-tight jeans (and I was VERY slender before I had her), even with my own "apron of skin", which I like to call "my lovely parting gift", even with that, I still fit into super-tight jeans. I look at the pictures of me then and marvel at how slender I was. Everyone's metabolism is different. Now, after I had my second child, the opposite happened; for the first time, I had trouble losing weight. Look; you have twins, you have your job and, despite what you might think, you ARE doing a LOT more running around and worrying and expending energy in all directions than you ever did before. You're tired because you're not getting a full night's sleep anymore. Plus, yanno, the energy thing. If you had your bloods taken, stop worrying. (Or...then again, it could be knee cancer. hehehe...sorry. ) You know, I think our ancestors had it made; they didn't have the internet to scare the crap out of themselves by looking up symptoms, they didn't have constant reports and TV news shows about how this or that thing in our lives is slowly killing us, or how so-and-so got sick and died suddenly. They lived their lives and didn't worry so much. Now, how do we go about doing that in today's overly info-rich world? When you find out, let me know.

Posted by: The other Amber at March 25, 2008 04:43 PM (zQE5D)

9 I hate you. I am worried about you, but I hate you. I GAINED three pounds in two days. And it's not even from PMS. Stop sending your pounds over to me. P.S. You owe me money.

Posted by: statia at March 25, 2008 04:50 PM (5IjqH)

10 Yes, I am fat but I know why I am fat. I would be concerned if I dropped a lot of weight without trying, because like you even the ano-years were difficult in shedding pounds. Not to sound like a broken record, but things are so hard to sort out after that first year of birth-I am dead serious when I say that just in the past few years do I feel like I really got my body back to "normal". If I were you *red alert*unwarrented assvice incoming*, I would keep a journal for a few days of exactly what you are eating, how much, and when-as well as any physical activity you are doing. That way you have some documentation on what is going into you and such, and it might help shed some light on some things. I am glad you are getting some more test run. Worried about you girlie, but I am seriously leaning toward the fact that your body is just different now, and trying to figure how to balance itself back out.

Posted by: Teresa at March 25, 2008 05:07 PM (BcDJf)

11 Sounds like you are handling things just right. There are lots of possible explanations -- stress, lack of sleep, medications, recent GI illeness, etc. But only you know your body best, so be an advocate. Also, check exactly what type of thyroid testing was done, because thyroid issues can be tricky to diagnose and you often need extensive panels of multiple hormones to sort things out. Good luck and I'm hoping its just flukey!

Posted by: Waiting Amy at March 25, 2008 05:35 PM (ecQ9f)

12 You do know your body best... it could be that this is where it wants to be post-pregnancy, but it could not. I'm coming at this from a losing-weight-on-purpose-but-in-a-healthy-way standpoing, but here's what I'd ask yourself: Are you REALLY getting a healthy, balanced diet in? Enough servings of protein, dairy, fruits & vegetables, enough to drink? Are you eating when you're hungry, rather than putting it off? And so on... (Me, I'm 10ish pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight... which was 10ish pounds above where I wanted to be... so the part of me that's struggled for years to lose this weight kinda wants to smack you just a little bit. But in a nice and loving way. Really.)

Posted by: Sarah at March 25, 2008 07:09 PM (gZ16B)

13 I know this sounds absurd, but some "pills" are associated with weight loss. If you can, find out what all the side effects are.... I'm sure you're fine..after my sister had her second baby she went from 180 to 120 in like 6 seconds flat (or less than 5 months)...how the hell she did it with her cookie problem is beyond me Find out about side effects...keep a food journal. Honestly, chasing two kids...are you sure your not forgeting to eat here and there?

Posted by: Heidi at March 26, 2008 07:22 AM (+ZYFL)

14 My brother, who is on the same medication as you are (this citrathingamajig) told me that one of the side effects reported in the "User's manual" was indeed weight loss- he shed two kilos in the last week. He also told me of having no real appetite. So maybe it's this. But please take care, for I'm totally and selfishly addicted to reading your blog :-) Lily

Posted by: Lily at March 26, 2008 02:03 PM (ApCbh)

15 "I'm not checking the orhthodontics of a gifted equine or anything." OMG, that is just too damn funny. Thank you for a great laugh. I could really, really use one today. I do hope that you get your weight under control. We'd all hate to have you whither away. Christopher

Posted by: Mr.Thomas at March 26, 2008 10:24 PM (bB3uL)

16 My biggest concern is not the fat you are losing, but the muscle mass I suspect you are losing as well. If you're eating right,however, it is what it is. If you dip below what is recommended for your height, however, you need to go back over everything again with your doc. And if he won't listen... switch.

Posted by: Bou at March 27, 2008 02:13 AM (mPTKU)

17 I think Lily's on to something. Ask about the side effects of the medications you're on; if one of them is weight loss you have an explanation. Then you ask what to eat to try and get your white blood cells up— it might be protein, it might be iron, I don't know, I'm not a nutritionist. Plus there's a massive energy expenditure going on in regards to the twins. But talk to the docs and ask what else you can do to get the rest of your health back on track. It won't do for you to be unhealthy.

Posted by: B. Durbin at March 28, 2008 06:59 PM (tie24)

18 It could be related to the plethora of hormones that your body has recently experienced. Pregnancy does some seriously whacky things to your system...and it take a good six months to a year for you to fully recover. You might want to consult an endocrinologist and have your metabolism checked through and through. Sometimes they know exactly what to look for since they deal strictly with the hormones/metabolism side of things. Follow your gut instinct.

Posted by: Lauren at March 29, 2008 04:37 AM (iUfJz)

19 It is very likely your antidepressant. A food diary is a very good idea. Keep one for a week, list what you eat and amounts and what time. You may find that you are lacking some essentail proteins, calories and vitamins. That combined with the antidepressant and your super busy lifestyle most likely accounts for the wieght loss. If it doesn't, go back to the doctor. If he doesn't listen, then find another. This much weight loss, combined with a low white count and briusing can indidicate some scary stuff.

Posted by: Melissia at March 30, 2008 08:23 AM (mJWbf)

20 It's very possible you have a gastrointestinal problem, like celiac or Crohn's or colitis. These are all autoimmune and are triggered by stress, pregnancy, infection, surgery, trauma, anything really that suddenly wreaks minor or major havoc on your body. I would keep a food diary, and not just food, but also any other symptoms besides weight loss (it's kind of hard to say "I lost two pounds right after I ate that handful of tree nuts," but it's easy to notice "My intestines are all twisted, and I had cheese yesterday." Look for patterns (I would get migraines not right after I ate wheat but after I had a meal the day *after* I had wheat -- my bff gets sick right after she has wheat, so it's different for everyone, whether it's wheat, dairy, or pretty much any other food). I had severe fatigue and IBS, horrible heartburn, I bruised so easily you could just poke me in the arm and I'd bruise, migraines, and a plethora of other symptoms. Doctors could find nothing, but my blog readers told me to look into celiac. I stopped eating wheat for a week and had no symptoms. Ate wheat again and had everything come back. I didn't have the weight loss problem - mine was weight gain (43 pounds in 2.5 years), but celiac was for a long time known as "the wasting disease." Shauna at Gluten-Free Girl had a car accident and started to waste away to nothing. Was diagnosed with celiac, cut out wheat/rye/barley, and got better. It's worth looking into if you haven't already (I know Europe is supposed to be way ahead of America as far as celiac goes, so I'd be surprised if your doctors haven't already suggested it). I would especially pay attention to macaroni and cheese and what kind of symptoms you have after you eat wheat, dairy, or both.

Posted by: sarahk at March 30, 2008 03:00 PM (3lMLF)

21 One more thing. Anything autoimmune can account for a low white cell count. I hope you are able to get to the bottom of things soon. It sucks to be exhausted all the time.

Posted by: sarahk at March 30, 2008 03:03 PM (3lMLF)

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