Schadenfreude.
A German term, it means taking pleasure from someone elseÂ’s misery.
ItÂ’s something our karma-bent souls try to not partake in, but occasionally we slip and fall. ItÂ’s not nice to smirk when someone is having a problem. ItÂ’s naughty to laugh when we see someone trip and fall. ItÂ’s mean-spirited to punch the air when we know life has gotten one over on someone that we think had it coming.
Schadenfreude is rejoicing when your nemesis tumbles off that pedestal theyÂ’ve put themselves on. ItÂ’s being glad that the supermodel trips and falls on her killer 5-inch heels. ItÂ’s smiling that the beauty queen has a zit on her chin the day youÂ’re having a good hair day. ItÂ’s knowing deep down inside that someone has something coming to them, and when that something comes youÂ’re glad to see the wind fall out of their sails just that little bit. It's taking comfort that someone else is as fallible as you are, as human, as likely to have to fight and struggle.
I’m not immune. At work I’ll hunker down and wait until someone has got what’s coming to them, that the “what” is often a spectacular downfall. I may not be there to see it, I just take comfort in knowing that everyone falls, and their fall may be what evens the karmic score I’ve been tallying in my head. I’m not Buddha, but I’ll go ahead and referee for him until he gets here.
I have it in my personal life too, although to a lesser extent than in my professional life. There are a few people in particular that get me to air punching, a move which is simultaneously wholly immature and blissfully rewarding. I confess there are those whose misery I donÂ’t necessarily enjoy, but I wonÂ’t look away while itÂ’s going on, either.
I tell myself that as long as I donÂ’t hand life a bat, IÂ’m not to blame when it administers a beating to someone.
IÂ’m pretty sure Buddha wouldnÂ’t agree with that.
He should maybe come here, stand by the pitcherÂ’s mound then.
ItÂ’s not as though IÂ’m a moral compass myself. I donÂ’t decide things, I donÂ’t get to always be in the right. ItÂ’s just I have so often been in the wrong, and god knows IÂ’ve tried to claw my way out of that. When life seems like a skating rink to others, when it seems that theyÂ’ve never known what it feels like to shake the muck water out of their eyes, when theyÂ’ve never stared into the mirror and wondered who they were, when theyÂ’ve never had to work hard at anything when youÂ’ve spent your life working like a demon, well, itÂ’s a balm to a troubled soul when you see someone tumble down to your level.
But the thing with Schadenfreude is that it isnÂ’t free. It comes at a price. You may take pleasure in someone elseÂ’s misery, but chances are that at least once theyÂ’ve taken pleasure in watching you fall, too. The worst comes when you draw in your breath to unleash a hyena laugh at someoneÂ’s downfall, only with that intake of air comes the understanding that the situation has changed, and it isnÂ’t the other person whoÂ’s miserable, itÂ’s you.
And then you want to kick the BuddhaÂ’s ass.
-H.
1
Oh yes, Schadenfreude...
I sometimes think it's not only a German word, but a German feeling, too.
(And I am allowed to say this, for I am German)
But I'm superstitious, too-and therefore not prone to give way to something that might tempt the gods of revenge.
And it will, for it definitely HAS it's price.
You might as well kick your Buddha's ass on a daily basis.
Good luck to you,
Lily
Posted by: Lily at April 30, 2008 10:14 AM (Y8m4l)
2
Have to say I didn't feel bad when indulging in a bit of schadenfreude in relation to my old work nemesis. He beat me to a coveted promotion and was unbelievably patronising to my husband about it at my leaving drinks (yup I threw my toys out of the pram and quit) so when about a year later he toppled off a waterfront walkway in a drunken stupor onto some rocks and cut his face up I really wasn't nearly as sympathetic as I should have been. He was lucky he was so drunk as that meant his injuries were far less serious than they otherwise might have been. I am hoping we are even now.
Posted by: Betty M at April 30, 2008 12:52 PM (q0m9f)
3
One of my favorite German words is somewhat related - Pech. Literally, it's just 'unlucky', a bad break or misfortune - but in context it's often used in a schadenfreude sense in that 'Pech' is often something someone brings upon themselves. And in that context, I donÂ’t believe that schadenfreude is not such a bad thing. The English language, unfortunately, doesn't have an equivalent word.
(Disclaimer: I might be totally off-kilter here – this was the way I learned/understood it where I lived in Germany – and the German language is very regional, so maybe it’s only relevant in the area I lived.)
Posted by: Clancy at April 30, 2008 12:56 PM (X+xFB)
4
Kinda sounds like how my week started, all the way from Saturday. I didn't think it was possible to fall flat on your ass and face at the same time, but I think I just made a believer out of people, myself included. I made an inexcusable mistake about something I considered myself far more responsible about, and now I'm just playing damage control while everyone around me wonders what the fuck happened.
But I've learned, yes indeedy. Like you said, be careful about rejoicing about other's misfortunes, even your enemies, because your time in the shithouse will come. I also learned that sometimes through such events, a higher power (I'm a little more religious than you, Helen, so bear with me) is trying to get a message past my thick skull that I need to pull my head out of my ass and make some serious changes with my life. That next time, the fall may shatter me for good.
Ok, enough self-flagellation for one morning. The one thing I love about your blog is that you always seem to come up with the perfect post just when I need to read it. And once again, you didn't let me down. Thank you, Helen.
Posted by: diamond dave at April 30, 2008 01:01 PM (xOzxi)
5
I try really hard to avoid punching the air, for I find my fist usually hits me in the face.
So, yeah-I totally get what you are saying.
Posted by: Teresa at April 30, 2008 01:01 PM (ETbzV)
6
Yes, this is why I usually just snicker off to the side, rather than the full blown air punch. The one exception...when we found out the hubster's ho ex-wife had contracted herself a nice raging case of genital herpes. I STILL have a hard time containing the laugh over that one. Yes, I know, Buddha frowns. But even he thinks she's a ho, I'm sure of it.
Posted by: Tracy at April 30, 2008 01:36 PM (jfil0)
7
@Clancy- in spite of the whole regional thing about German, Pech is Pech everywhere... It IS a term that might be connected with Schadenfreude, but it's ambiguous. First it's only bad luck, but with a side of "you don't deserve better". So, no need to disclaim :-)
Lily
Posted by: Lily at April 30, 2008 02:08 PM (d2A/5)
8
Reminds me of a saying I once heard...
Some people are like Slinkies...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Posted by: Michael at April 30, 2008 03:10 PM (Zfv0j)
9
I laugh when people trip and fall. And often, I exclaim in a high pitched voice, "I saw that!!!!" I blame Amy. She instilled that reaction in me. I now even do it when the cats are idiots and fall, and I've been known to say it when *i* trip and fall as well.
I'm sorry but it's
always funny when people fall down.
Posted by: Ms. Pants at April 30, 2008 03:27 PM (+p4Zf)
10
I'm wondering if this post is just a random observation or alluding to a situation in your life that led you to this observation. What brought all of this on?
Damn, I am nosy.
Posted by: Lauren at April 30, 2008 04:23 PM (iUfJz)
11
I'm with Lauren.
Now dish.
Posted by: The other Amber at April 30, 2008 06:15 PM (zQE5D)
12
Yeah, what brought this on? I agree with you and often the tables are turned when you take glee in someone's downfall. It's called karma and it is often instant.
Posted by: kenju at April 30, 2008 06:52 PM (yvCMb)
13
And I thought earlier today when I tried to log onto your blog and got the 'server not found' message, that karma finally was having her way with me. The bitch. Happily, I was able to reconnect moments ago and all is well with the world again
Buddah knows these things.
Posted by: Marie at May 01, 2008 01:29 AM (+DtHG)
14
Good post. Been there, done that. I'm with Lauren... is this random or related to something specific? Inquiring minds want to know...
Posted by: sue at May 01, 2008 02:02 PM (WbfZD)
15
That's a moment of self realization that I really don't wish on anyone. Been there, done it, bought the doublet. Tell you what, though, if you hold him and look the other way, I'll do the dirty work.
Then I'll rub his belly for luck while we make our getaway.
:-D
Posted by: Tommy at May 02, 2008 03:49 AM (Ffmbd)
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