This was an easy question for me to answer as a child the first time we moved. It stayed manageable the second time. By the third time, however, this started happening:

"Where are you from?"

"New Jersey."

"You don't sound like you're from New Jersey."

"Well, that's where I'm from originally. I moved here from San Diego."

It went no better if instead of "New Jersey" I just said "San Diego," if you were about to suggest that.

"Oh, my aunt lives there! Do you know [something I would only know if I'd lived there all my life]?"

"Uh, no. We only lived there the last year and a half or so."

"Oh. Well, where'd you live before that?"

You can see how things got tedious in a hurry, right? I know I am not the only person this has ever happened to. People move. It happens. Sometimes, maybe most often, they move for work; other times for love, for family, or for escape from one or the both of those. Sometimes folks just get itchy to be anywhere but where they are at the moment. That was the reason behind my own last move, from Dallas, Texas to Las Cruces, New Mexico, but that's a topic for another post, maybe.

The last move I made as a child, when I was about 12, was from the Bay Area in California to Mesa, Arizona, east of Phoenix. At the time, I was horrified. I mean, wouldn't you be? Wouldn't anyone? Because this sort of thing was what I left behind:

And this was the sort of thing I went to:

Credit: johopo

Actually, it doesn't look so bad, that last photo. In fact, it's pretty in a wild sort of way. But of course we didn't move into the heart of the Superstition Mountains; we moved into your typical American tract home subdivision, a newish one at the time, which meant we were chiefly surrounded by . . . dirt.

"It's so brown," my mother said when we drove up.

"It's so ugly! I hate it!" I said through tears.

So naturally, given that we all hated the place so much, my family stayed there the longest we'd ever stayed anywhere. Thirteen years, in my case. I stayed the longest of any of us. All my little so-called "coming of age" moments are there.

"Dallas," is what I say anymore when asked where I am from. It's where I moved from most recently, after all, and that is all most people want to know. But there is only one place that calls me back to it periodically and, with all due respect to Helen, that place ain't Big D.

Instead, every 4-5 years or so, I sneak away to Phoenix for little visits, in the summertime when it's guaranteed to be over 100. I do that on purpose. First, that's when it's most affordable; you can pick up a beautiful room in the Arizona Biltmore right now for $169 a night that will be over $300 a night come winter.

Second, and much more importantly, the heat is part of it. I cannot say I miss the heat exactly--who could?--but I love that I'm able to endure it with more grace than most can, and I know that Phoenix wouldn't be Phoenix without that horrible heat that I once thought (so long ago!) would literally kill me. Instead, it branded me: I can never forget it, never fail to grin inside upon being reunited with it.

As much as anyone can be from anywhere these days, that's where I'm from.

Where are you from? Is it the same place you tell people you're from? Is your heart one place while the rest of you is in another?

Posted by: Ilyka at 09:07 AM | Comments (33) | Add Comment
Post contains 624 words, total size 4 kb.

1 Other than a 9 year stint in Dallas & Denton, Texas I have lived my whole life in St. Louis. I love it here, and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else again.

Posted by: ~Easy at July 25, 2007 12:04 PM (X+de8)

2 Where I've lived: New Jersey (birth - 7) Colorado (7-11) California (11-12) New York (12-1 Virginia (1 semester of college) New Jersey (again, 1 Florida (18-30 and counting) Where I'm from: everywhere and nowhere Where my accent suggests I'm from: Canada, eh? With a hint of Joisey mixed in for good measure, because I choose to say certain catch phrases and pronounce certain words in the Jersey way, since that's where I'm technically from.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at July 25, 2007 12:26 PM (+MvHD)

3 I've lived several places also, Ohio (birth -2) Kentucky (2-6) Georgia (6-14) North Carolina (14-now...27) But when people ask me where I'm from I say Ohio. I only lived there for two years and frankly I don't plan on ever going back, but it's where a lot of my family is and frankly it's fun to annoy the locals who think Yankees* are the devil. *I know Ohio isn't really what you would normally think of as a Yankee state, but basically translate Yankee into "anyone north of North Carolina and OH MY GOD CLOSE THE BORDERS THEY'RE INVADING"... I do love NC. Asside from (and including) the occasional crazies.

Posted by: Erin at July 25, 2007 12:44 PM (HQy7k)

4 I'm a Washington State girl myself...but I'm so glad I live in Florida....otherwise I never would have met my wonderful Puerto Rican husband. So, Florida we stay. I'm not to keen on the island, and he can't move away from the water. Our children will always know they are Floridians mixed with a pinch of winter skiing with their Northern cousins and a little bit of fall surfing with their primos de Caribe.

Posted by: nukeum00 at July 25, 2007 01:34 PM (JKeGB)

5 I was born in Virginia Beach, VA but raised on the Outer Banks of North Carolina - So I was born and raised at the Beach. I went to college in Pennsylvania right outside of Pittsburgh. Moved to DC right out of college, got engaged to a guy in DC who was from Ohio - we later moved just outside of Canton. When that relationship ended I moved back to NC for several years. I was then offered a position at the Boulders Resort and Golden Door Spa in Arizona - so I moved to Scottsdale. I had never been out west before and it was such an experience! The heat in Phoenix was unbelievable and I passed out in July that year in a Fry's grocery store. I actually moved there in May and had a series of nosebleeds the first few weeks from all of that dry desert air. Yes, it took my body a while to adjust. I lived there for a year and 1/2 and loved every minute of it, made a lot of friends and got to go all over the west coast and Mexico....then it was time to come home. I missed my family. I currently live in Virginia Beach, VA.

Posted by: kimmykins13 at July 25, 2007 01:48 PM (HUKlZ)

6 I grew up in a region of South Africa called the bushveld. On a farm. Outside a town so tiny it didn't even have a high school OR a video store! Loathed it. In my heart I always knew that I was a city girl. When I was 13, our family moved to the South Africa's administrative capital city Pretoria. However, my mom didn't want me to be a latchkey kid, so I went back to the bushveld and to the same boarding school my sisters attended 60 kilometres from the tiny town we grew up. I only spent a year and a semester there before I convinced my mom that I was far better suited to attend the performing arts high school conveniently located in Pretoria. So that's where I went. Attended college there as well, then moved to glittering city of gold (Johannesburg) 60 kilometres away from Pretoria for my first job. Moved back to Pretoria for about 10 months before going to Washington DC all by myself at the age of 22. Spent four years in DC, then - major mistake - followed a boyfriend to Baltimore. Stayed five years. Now my body is reluctantly back in South Africa (in Stellenbosch, in the heart of the South African wine country, just an hour's drive from Cape Town, which is our equivalent of San Fransisco). However, my heart is still very much in DC. That place will forever remain my siren city. My best memories are buried in the nooks and crannies of that stately city.

Posted by: redsaid at July 25, 2007 01:51 PM (ycOyc)

7 By the way, just to clarify something in my super lengthy previous comment: living in Baltimore wasn't as big a mistake as the person I lived there with! Baltimore is actually pretty cool, but my heart was always in DC. Still is. The love of my life is there. (Don't think he knows that he is the love of my life.) And it was obviously not the guy I moved to Baltimore for! Hindsight's SUCH a bitch.

Posted by: redsaid at July 25, 2007 02:07 PM (ycOyc)

8 Solomon's from all around too, sort of... SC (birth-3) ND (3-7) LA (7- SC (8-26) NC (26-41 and counting) I say I'm from SC, because that's where the bulk of my development and memories occurred. But I don't have a Southern accent, so I usually have to explain we moved around when my speech was being developed, and I just never latched on to the good ol' Southern accent...intentionally. I think a Southern accent on a girl sounds pretty but on a guy sounds goofy. I don't think guys w/ Southern accents are odd or unintelligent, I just don't like it. Kind of like vegetables: I like string beans but not lima beans. Why not? I just don't. Anyway, that's where I'm from.

Posted by: Solomon at July 25, 2007 02:09 PM (x+GoF)

9 So many places... Born in Kansas City, MO then moved to.... Portland, OR St. Louis, MO Thousand Oaks, CA Arlington, VA Charleston, SC Detroit, MI Houston, TX Dallas, TX Boston, MA Dallas, TX San Jose, CA Dallas, TX New York, NY Enfield, CT Dallas, TX Dallas is definitely what feels like home to me. There are things about it I don't like and things about other places I do like, but for whatever reason this is just what fits.

Posted by: donna at July 25, 2007 02:26 PM (Kco5r)

10 i'm in socal right now, but i will always, always be a missouri girl. always.

Posted by: becky at July 25, 2007 02:30 PM (jv5jW)

11 I've just started writing NL/US. I lived in NH, USA until I was 13. Then my mom met a Dutch guy on the internet and we moved to the Netherlands. I've been here ever since - that'll be 10 years in a few weeks. On the one hand, am I really American, since I grew up with such European views? But then, with that navy blue passport, I'll never actually be European. So I write NL/US and just hope people don't ask for the life story... I miss the mountains. Somebody once told me that they're in my blood - and I guess they are. Sometimes I'd do just about anything to get a few meters above sea level.

Posted by: Hannah at July 25, 2007 02:30 PM (5w+E2)

12 I hate the "Where are you from?" question too. Up until a few years ago, I lived in Richmond VA with my parents. But before that we moved from the suburbs of Philadelphia PA when I was 13. If I answer Richmond, they say "Oh, your accent sounds like you're from up north" so I have to explain the Philly origin. If I say Philly, they ask me about things a 13 year old wouldn't know about, like popular Philly bars. And if I try to explain the whole Philly to Richmond thing? Their eyes glaze over before I've finished my sentence. *sigh*

Posted by: geeky at July 25, 2007 02:39 PM (ziVl9)

13 I am pathetic compared to most of you. I was born in Jenison, Michigan. I grew up there. I lived in a little house across the street from my elementary school. I went to college a few towns away and lived at home while I did most of it. Then I shared an apartment in Jenison with my boyfriend. Then we got married and bought said little house from my mom and dad. And that is where I still live-now with my two kids that attend the elementary school across the street. So yeah, through and through, I am from Jenison, Michigan.

Posted by: Teresa at July 25, 2007 02:48 PM (1dFtZ)

14 I've lived in this city since I was five, so I guess I'm from here. I was born in a little mining town a couple of thousand kilometres from here but I haven't been these since I was two. I don't entirely want to be here anymore though. It's my husband and his work (and the great economy) that keep us here, but given a choice, I'd take off to Germany for at least a few years. And living on the coast has always appealed to me -- I just don't think I'll ever be able to talk my husband into it.

Posted by: Tinker at July 25, 2007 03:58 PM (HGoEM)

15 I have lived in Minnesota my entire life. I have lived in Sweden over different summers and Barcelona for a couple months one spring, and San Francisco for a summer. I am a Minnesotan through and through and I love this great state.

Posted by: amelia at July 25, 2007 04:02 PM (L2+hh)

16 I never know what to answer the old "where are you from?" question anymore. I guess I'm "from" Connecticut, but it hardly feels like home anymore. I still miss CT and the Blue Ridge of NC - both have similar climates and vegetation. And I really miss the seasons. I was born and raised in CT. Lived in MA for a year of college, then moved with my mom to western NC and finished school. Lived in MA for another 6 months, then lived in GA for a couple years. I finally moved to FL for a job and have been here nearly 10 years.

Posted by: selzach at July 25, 2007 04:15 PM (2yHUA)

17 I've lived in California, Washington state, Oregon, Texas, Mississippi, and Oklahoma, but I'm an Oregonian through and through. I love being close to mountains, ocean, desert country if I wish, and even rain forest to a degree. I could hardly stay sane living in the middle of the country without a mountain or ocean within reach.

Posted by: Lisa at July 25, 2007 04:26 PM (e8V7B)

18 I was born near Bogota Colombia, but moved to the states, more specifically NH when I was 5. Have been there since. I'm not sure it's where I want to stay permenantly, but my job is pretty rooted in NH/MA/NY so for now this is where I stay. I contemplate living in Arizona, Cali and Montana... we'll see where I end up. But NH is where I say I'm from.

Posted by: Angela at July 25, 2007 05:03 PM (DGWM7)

19 I have lived in Chicago, or a Chicago suburb all of my life.

Posted by: Theresa at July 25, 2007 05:51 PM (x1Vbp)

20 You all just leave the best comments! First of all, people who've stayed more or less in one spot all your lives?--I am jealous of you. That's what I wanted as a kid, to just stay in one place and really be FROM somewhere. That is so cool. Erin: But when people ask me where I'm from I say Ohio. I only lived there for two years and frankly I don't plan on ever going back, but it's where a lot of my family is and frankly it's fun to annoy the locals who think Yankees* are the devil. I confess I went back to answering "New Jersey" sometimes when I lived in Dallas for just that reason. I still have enough family back east in New York that I can sponge up some semblance of an East Coast accent when I want to, so that was like bonus annoying points. Kimmykins: I was then offered a position at the Boulders Resort and Golden Door Spa in Arizona - so I moved to Scottsdale. Oh, oh, OH, envy! I am a consumerist whore, I admit it, and I love the resorts there. That dry air is definitely an adjustment. My boyfriend isn't used to it at all and always has to take a sinus tablet when we're there. Redsaid: However, my heart is still very much in DC. That place will forever remain my siren city. My best memories are buried in the nooks and crannies of that stately city. This was really beautiful and bittersweet. And don't worry: I know what you mean about regretting who you followed but not necessarily where you wound up when you followed him. I've done that, too. Donna, I knew you'd end up saying Dallas just because it kept showing up on the list. It doesn't say anything to move to a particular place but when you keep returning to it, that's everything. Helen touched on some of the things I miss about Dallas (I Fratelli's, for one!) but anymore, living where I do, the speeding. I miss the speeding. New Mexicans do five miles UNDER the speed limit. I am used to people doing 20 mph over it--when they're feeling cautious. Hannah: I miss the mountains. Somebody once told me that they're in my blood - and I guess they are. Sometimes I'd do just about anything to get a few meters above sea level. I love mountains and sometimes feel like I have to have them around myself. They're comforting to me, like having elemental earth guardians watching over everything. Lisa: love being close to mountains, ocean, desert country if I wish, and even rain forest to a degree. I could hardly stay sane living in the middle of the country without a mountain or ocean within reach. Leaving proximity to the ocean behind was something I missed sorely moving from California. Everyone I've talked to from Oregon loves it to death and wouldn't really want to live anywhere else. I'll have to check it out some year. I've been to Seattle but that's as much of the Pacific Northwest as I've seen. Angela: I was born near Bogota Colombia, but moved to the states, more specifically NH when I was 5. You and redsaid are tied for most radical moves, I think. All the way up to New Hampshire from Colombia! And both are also places I've always been told are beautiful. You guys have been awesome. I am loving these stories so much!

Posted by: ilyka at July 25, 2007 07:46 PM (zPRu7)

21 I'd love to share my various venues here, but the censoring program on this blogger has gone totally medieval on my ass. I've been commenting here for almost two years and NEVER had a problem before. Now I can hardly type shit. Helen, when you get back, HEEELLLLPPPP!

Posted by: diamond dave at July 25, 2007 08:56 PM (13w54)

22 I was born in Cardiff, Wales, raised in Johannesburg, South Africa, spent the last 7 years of my life in London, England and now I live in Sydney, Australia. I always say I am from South Africa but then have the inevitable "oh but you don't sound like a South African!" to which I have to explain that I spent the first 6 years of my life in the UK then went to SA and have been living in London for 7 years so my accent is very confusing. I guess the longer I live in Aus for the easier it will be to just skip over the London bit and say I am originally from South Africa!

Posted by: Sarah at July 25, 2007 10:56 PM (AHcm3)

23 I'm an Illinois kid with a split personality due to living all over the St. Louis Metro until I was 28. Let's see: Metro East: Centreville, Alorton, Washington Park, Cahokia and East St. Louis St. Louis City/County: Mehlville, Beverly Hills, South City and Lafayette Square I did leave the area for a failed move to Edinburg, TX when I was 10, for boarding school in Aurora, IL and college in Galesburg, IL. I finally left the area for good when I moved to Kansas City, MO for work and then to England for love. It was much easier to say where you were from in the US than it is here in England. If I say I'm from East St. Louis or Cahokia (where my mom lives), you can hear crickets chirp. If I say I'm from St. Louis, you might see a flicker of recognition but it's rare. So most of the time I just say I'm from the Midwest and leave it at that because I don't feel like reaching for a map to show that there's life between the trifecta of California, New York and Florida.

Posted by: tanis at July 25, 2007 10:59 PM (AN/2b)

24 Helen, when you get back, HEEELLLLPPPP! Diamond Dave! You calm down this minute! Let me go have a look at this mess. Oh hey, can you do me a favor when Helen returns, DD? Can you help me convert her to Wordpress? Movable Type suuuuucks.

Posted by: ilyka at July 25, 2007 11:42 PM (zPRu7)

25 Damnit, I'm so right about Movable Type sucking: I forgot there is no "spam queue" from which to rescue your comment, Diamond Dave. No, the %#^& MT Blacklist just NUKES it before you can even submit it. And you know, and I know, and everyone knows, it probably nuked it because some idiot on mu.nu entered "the" or possibly "and" into the communal MT Blacklist. I feel a hollering coming on. If you have trouble again, DD, feel free to email me your remarks and I'll just force-post 'em, if you are comfortable doing that. I'm very sorry. And I swear, it wasn't anything I did!

Posted by: ilyka at July 25, 2007 11:47 PM (zPRu7)

26 I don't like hearing the comments I get when I say "El Paso by way of South Carolina and Oklahoma mixed in." So, I've come up with a solution. When someone asks me where I'm from, I say: "The apex of my mother's thighs." A CONVERSATION STOPPER RIGHT THERE.

Posted by: Margi at July 26, 2007 01:00 AM (OuCik)

27 Grew up in Sacramento. Lived in Washington, Oregon, and Colorado before my husband got a transfer... to Sacramento. Hmm. Not a bad place to be but I miss my friends. If I won the lottery I think I'd get a home in Denver. Oh, who am I kidding? I'd get a second one in Ashland. Because the Oregon Shakespeare Festival just plain rocks.

Posted by: B. Durbin at July 26, 2007 01:36 AM (tie24)

28 Sorry for the tantrum, Ilyka. I was getting ready to throw things there for a minute. Okay, let's try this one more time. Born in West Virginia, lived there till I was about six. Moved to Atlanta (suburbs), lived there till I was fourteen. Moved to So. California (Torrance), graduated high school. Went to college up north in Santa Cruz for about a year, then returned home to SoCal for a few more years. Moved out of parent's house up to SF Bay Area (Hayward), got job and lived there for couple of years. Moved back to Atlanta (cheaper housing), rented place and moved in with girlfriend, got married, bought house, lived there ever since. Probably will move in another year or so, probably Texas to be closer to family. Where do I call home? Hell, I don't know, maybe Neptune. Sometimes I miss CA, being I've lived there longest and have lots of friends there, but never go back to live. I'm actually kind of partial to WVa (you get all four seasons COMPLETE, and the fall colors are absolutely fantastic), but there ain't no jobs there, unless I want to work in a coal mine. My wife, on the other hand, was a military brat. Like the commercial says, she's been everywhere, man.

Posted by: diamond dave at July 26, 2007 02:35 AM (Y7S2g)

29 I've lived in the Chicago Suburbs most of my life. The years in my 20's I spent living in the City of Chicago near the Cub's ballpark. Now, I'm getting ready to move across country to the west side of Phoenix to be closer to my sister. I'm scared and excited all at once. I'll be happy to be away from the winter months, and I will also be happy to live close to my sister. After 37 years in one area, it's time for a change.

Posted by: Heidi at July 26, 2007 05:41 AM (De/xT)

30 I was born and raised on a farm in Denmark. At age 8 we moved to southern Spain for a few months, then back to Denmark for two years, and then back to Spain again, this time for seven years. At age 17 I went back to Denmark alone to attend boarding school. Some years later I spent six months in wonderful London. I have lived in eight different towns here in Denmark, and sometimes envy those of my friends who have lived in the same place all there life. On the other hand I wouldn't have missed living in Spain or London for anything either. My dear wife is from Brazil, but of Italian origin, so we are probably not done with moving around yet, either.

Posted by: Mike at July 26, 2007 08:21 AM (CGOCH)

31 Fresno, CA: birth-1.5 Coalinga, CA: 1.5-7 Bay Area CA: 7-12 ...and that's the easy part. My parents divorced when I was 12, so between 12-15, I split my time between Horrible Horrible Columbus, GA (Mom/school) and the Bay Area (Dad/breaks.) At 15 I switched the arrangement to go to school in the Bay Area and graduated from HS with my friends--I can't say that I made any real ones in GA. Sad. Then at 18-19, I spent a year in Luxembourg (Mom moved there for work.) Moved to Atlanta for uni when I was 19--and that's where I live today. I intend to get the hell out as soon as I graduate--I have Southern roots all the way back to 1623, but I'll never be a Georgia peach. Mom was transferred to Albania, so here I sit--it's summer break, so I'm here with her. Top two places closest to my heart are the Bay Area and Luxembourg, and when people ask, I say that "I'm originally from Fresno, but I consider the Bay Area to be my home." It took me a long time to get to that--and if I'm telling a story, I'll eventually have to give a timeline of where I was living, 'cause it gets complicated.

Posted by: Marian at July 26, 2007 11:49 AM (B+qrE)

32 Iowa, Iowa, and Iowa. I moved about 10 times throughout the state until I met Hubs (28 yrs ago)... this is the longest I've lived anywhere my whole life. Well, actually, we built a new house 2 miles from the old one and moved 3 years ago, but that hardly counts...

Posted by: sue at July 26, 2007 03:07 PM (WbfZD)

33 I was an Air Force and an Army wife. I'm from nowhere, although I claim Texas, which is where I live now. Actually, I was born in Texas, traveled all sorts of places, and ended up back in Texas. I like Texas, especially since my children and grandchildren are here!

Posted by: PrimoDonna at July 26, 2007 04:35 PM (qQGjh)

Hide Comments | Add Comment