Growing up, I worshipped the TV.
I still do.
I have absolutely zero shame about the big plasma TV hanging in the living room (and the other one hanging in the kitchen). I have zero shame about our Sky Plus box (the UK equivalent of satellite + Tivo). I have zero shame about the DVDs and DVD recorder we have. I love TV. I always have, I always will, and while I absolutely love me a good book too (and read a few a week), my heart will always belong to the boob tube (I'm not cheating on you with my books, TV, I swear it!).
TV simply was part of my childhood, just as it's part of my adulthood. It's probably safe to say that I watch a bit too much TV. When I'm working from home these days I'm propped up on the couch with the TV on as background noise, and my entire first trimester was spent napping on the couch with Charmed playing in the background (I don't know what it is about Charmed that's so soporific, I just know that having it on guaranteed I'd get the snooze out). I do recognize that I'm contributing to the smoldering hole in the ozone by having the TV on while I work, but I can't express how much comfort a TV brings me. It's the sanity in my insane world. TV - and macaroni and cheese - are one of the only constants I have ever known in my life.
Films were also a massive part of my life, and sadly I don't see as many films as I used to anymore. A weekend TBS 80's trip is just what the doctor ordered for most ailments. To this day I can clock an actor on a film and tell you what other films or tv shows they've done. My stepkids think that I have some kind of amazing talent when I do this, the bad news is that it's a terribly unmarketable skill that will get me nowhere fast, but I can tell you that the chap who played a bit part Secret Service agent in CSI is now a star in Lost. It might save my life if I'm ever stuck playing "Trivia Pursuit-the Russian Roulette Edition", but otherwise it's pretty pointless.
But it's not just TV shows and movies that hallmark my behavior.
Lately, I've come to realize that I'm a product of advertising.
I'm a jingle-writers dream, and I've always known that. I have a bizarre, full of holes memory that can remember some remarkable details while completely forgetting key other ones. Details I remember include songs from ads I have heard a time or two too many. I don't have to go for the product, and generally speaking, I don't. The ad just has to hit the right note with me, and if it does that, it's with me for life. It also doesn't mean I had to like the ad to remember it, which makes for some unfortunate times.
When I moved to Sweden, the first Swedish phrase I learnt was from an ICA commercial (ICA is a chain of grocery stores there). To this day I don't know why it struck a chord with me, but the first words I was able to say in Swedish translates to "Excuse me, I only have a bit of salmon here."
Very useful indeed.
Over here I also tend to parrot ads from TV. Half the time I don't even know I'm doing it, I just "wake up" and find I'm spouting off an ad. My latest trip is singing along to the Sheila's Wheels advert, which is an ad for a women's only car insurance company as acted by an Australian cast (For ladies who insure their cars! Sheila's Wheels are superstars! For bonzer car insurance deals....girls rely on Sheila's Wheels!) This makes no sense to me, because the commercial is kind of crap and I wouldn't join a woman-only car insurance company anyway. Maybe I only sing it a lot because it permeated my brain while it played during my Charmed naps, so any day now I'll start having the dress sense of Alyssa Milano, aka "they ran out of fabric so I just threw some feathers on it. Now look at my navel."
But my memory is really consumed by commercials I saw when I was a kid. I repeat a load of them, all the time, only the problem is they're slightly out of context here.
I woke up at 6:00 the other day as we had an early start. I shrug on my T-shit, incredibly bleary eyed, and whimpered "Time to make the donuts."
Angus shook his head. "What? Are you still asleep?"
I replied, "No. Winchell's donuts. It's time to make the donuts."
He didn't get it of course-not only don't they have Winchell's Donuts here (I suspect, in fact, the whole chain is gone) but that was a commercial from my childhood.
Childhood TV commercials get rolled out all the time. I like watching 80's movieswith the idea that I might be able to play "spot the product". In Close Encounters of the Third Kind, while Richie Dreyfuss is going mad making a fake clay mountain in his living room, there's the beer commercial I used to know and love playing in the background of his alien-induced madness ("When you say Bud you have it all, when you say Bud you have it all! La da da da da da da da da dada!"). It doesn't beat the motorcycle Rainier Beer commercial, but I have a feeling that was a regional commercial and maybe not shown all over the country. Similarly, I watched the commercials in E.T. and other films from my childhood.
I trot out the ads whenever possible. When Angus asked me how I got a stain out of a shirt, I winked and said, "Ancient Chinese secret!" I love to say "Silly Rabbit-Trix are for kids!" in situations varying from telling the dog what to do to business meetings. And of course, whenever someone tries a new food and enjoys it, they get the "Hey Mikey! He likes it!" routine from me. And fucking everything is The Other White Meat.
Not that those commercials mean anything over here.
Add music to it and I'm really fucked. O Solo Mio is now forever a Cornetto commercial (it's a type of ice cream here). It's a beautiful song but every time I hear it, I start singing "Give me Cornetto! Give it to me!" My bologna DOES have a first name, thank you very much, and it' O-S-C-A-R. I don't eat two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun, but I can tell you all about it. I would also like to have a french fry, for now, little baby sister of mine (although in hindsight I should've kept the carbohydrate to myself, thanks very much). Schoolhouse Rocks owns my soul, and the two ones I sing the most are the least well known ones-"Hanker for a Hunk of Cheese" (when my get up and go has got up and went, I hanker for a hunk of cheese) and the one about "Don't Drown Your Food" (in ketchup or mayo or goo! Yuck! It's no fun to eat what you can't even see, so don't drown your food!").
But the worst offender that's stuck in my head was the Milk campaign from the 80's. I can't find any trace of it on the web so perhaps I'm losing my mind, but I swear I remember it. Word for word. It was set to some marching song (Sousa, I assumed, although I don't know enough about the guy to know if that's the case or not.) It was a marching band, and there were lyrics:
You don't have to be a football star!
Whoever you are!
Show your stuff and Drink Milk!
I still sing that one to this day.
Sometimes I wish I could clear my head of all the slogans ("You soak in it!" "Let me try! Mom! Let me try!" "They're magically delicious!" and the giggle you elicit when you poke a plasticine dough boy in the stomach) to make more room for real life things, practical things that play a role in life.
Then I feel thirsty for a glass of milk and a marching song, and I go with it.
1
Wait, I thought "time to make the donuts" was for dunkin' donuts. They were playing that add right up till that spokesguy retired in 1997. They had a parade for him in Boston and gave away free coffee and everything.
Posted by: Some Girl at May 09, 2007 08:15 AM (vec0T)
2
I'm the same - a slogan for all occasions.
"Cap, Shirt, Bata-Bullets" My mantra before I head out the door. (i.e. wallet, phone, keys.)
"Only the Green One's Bugsy" - A Smarties/M&M's ad.
"Balls... Inspector?" Cheese Balls. Don't ask.
"Worth a Crack Nigel" NO IDEA.
They're All New Zealand slogans... guess they were the formative years.
Posted by: deeleea at May 09, 2007 08:15 AM (IphB3)
3
Deelea-Proof that I'm not alone in my quest for a slogan for all occasions.
Somegirl-you're absolutely right. I got the wrong donut maker. Proof that while the ad sticks, it may be assigned the wrong company in my mind.
Now I want a donut.
Posted by: Helen at May 09, 2007 08:28 AM (CCyzl)
4
At the bottom of the page of the link you posted, there's a vote - do you think she should go to jail? I'm very pleased to see that 91% think she should. I at least have my fingers crossed, that's exactly what jail is for.
Drop the soap? Maybe I don't want to know what that means...
Posted by: Hannah at May 09, 2007 08:49 AM (5w+E2)
5
Everybody laughs - I'm the only one who knows the KitKat commercial here in NL. Let alone ABC's "After these messages, we'll be right back! [bark!]" We only got one channel, though.
Posted by: Hannah at May 09, 2007 08:50 AM (5w+E2)
6
Now I want a donut, too.
A real, old fashioned donut.
Posted by: Hannah at May 09, 2007 08:51 AM (5w+E2)
7
'It's 10 o'clock - do you know where your children are?'
We used to get that one in the 80's from the American stations.
As Irish kids living in Canada the Irish Spring 'And weee like it tooo' used to make us cringe though.
Posted by: Elisa at May 09, 2007 09:15 AM (6/XCd)
8
Nothing worse than having a commercial jingle stuck in your head on a never-ending feedback loop. Jingle writers are evil creatures. I just wish they hadn't started plundering the Beatles for advertisements, as I still remember the shock and horror of hearing "Revolution" on a commercial for shoes in the late '80's. Just goes to show nothing's sacred.
Posted by: maolcolm at May 09, 2007 09:19 AM (ds+Dq)
9
Fucking hilarious!!!
Obscure childhood jingle that runs through my mind:
"you let your kids use new towels round the pool?
Those towels new? Not a chance!"
Posted by: SuperSarah at May 09, 2007 10:25 AM (48sRf)
10
I thought sure there'd be a "Where's the beef?" reference in there...
Some Girl beat me to the punch, but I thought that maybe Winchell's was a regional name for Dunkin' Donuts.
Since I live here in the heartland of AB, the Budweiser song is a part of the fabric of my life. In fact, they still play it at Cardinal baseball games. My wife's grandfather worked at the brewery and the grandchildren got extra sweets and change when they sang the song. It's pretty scary that the song is no longer a part of their advertising, yet both of MY kids know all of the words...
Posted by: ~Easy at May 09, 2007 11:38 AM (vL8BC)
11
Damn it. I've spent twenty years living in the US and after much effort "O Sole Mio" had become just "O Sole Mio" again, until now! Help me get that Cornetto song out of my head. I can't believe they're still using that song in their campaign (by the way it used to be "JUST ONE Cornetto p give it to me" - did they change the words??).
Posted by: John at May 09, 2007 12:40 PM (OLwCz)
12
I think I'm the only person who remember "Bonkers! Bonks you out!" with the giant pieces of fruit that would fall on a person who had just popped the candy into their mouth.
Posted by: wRitErsbLock at May 09, 2007 12:47 PM (+MvHD)
13
Go to jail? Of course she should. as you noted she is worthless; unless you count her boyfriend video- she displayed her talents quite adequately.
As for dropping the soap. My suspecion is she will drop the soap a lot.
Posted by: Foggy at May 09, 2007 12:53 PM (Glvp6)
14
I thought the "time to make the donuts" was from Dunkin' Donuts? Nevertheless, donuts! And TV! Awesome.
Posted by: Dotty at May 09, 2007 01:09 PM (KJE2B)
15
Winchells still lives - http://www.winchells.com/
as does dunkin' donuts - https://dunkindonuts.com/
They're few and far between right now - but I expect that once the resurgence in ice cream shops subsides the donut shops will move into their spaces...it is a crime that there aren't more bakeries in the states.
But - my favorite commercial of all time was for Hamm's Beer (might've been regional) with the cartoon bear and the "land of the sky blue waters" song. It'll live with me forever.
Posted by: cursingmama at May 09, 2007 01:22 PM (PoQfr)
16
"And Weee Hay-elped!"
Shake & Bake
Posted by: dadddyquatro at May 09, 2007 01:35 PM (ePyvD)
17
Note: The "Time to make the doughnuts" guy just died a few months ago.
Re: Dunkin' Donuts -- In Boston, they are more prevalent than Starbuckses. Seriously.
Do you know where your children are? The new CW network (merger of WB and UPN) is still asking that in ominous tones.
~Easy: every time someone uses the phrase "the fabric of our lives" I can't help but begin under-breath singing "The touch! The feel! Of cotton!"
Posted by: ms havisham at May 09, 2007 01:46 PM (QAcXg)
18
I hanker for a hunk of, a slab or slice or chunk of, I hanker for a hunk of cheese!
Conjunction Junction, what's that function?
And best of all:
I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill and I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill...
Posted by: Michael at May 09, 2007 01:46 PM (Zfv0j)
19
Omg. Yes, we still use several of those - 'It's 10 o'clock - do you know where your children are?'
- the Dunkin' Donuts one (here anyway) I still say when I get up at the butt-crack of dawn - and we constantly say, "Silly Rabbit"... and don't even have to finish the line to know what we're gonna say. Guess our family is a product of the TV generations, huh? Good post. Got me thinking.
Posted by: sue at May 09, 2007 01:47 PM (WbfZD)
20
John-bad news. The commercial? Still uses the same words. (Just one Cornetto! Give it to me!)
Cursingmama-I forgot about that Hamm's commercial! Brought it all back, that one
Michael-you are so far the only other person I've met who knows the hanker for a hunk of cheese song. Fabulous.
Now I'm singing the Cotton commercial songs.
Perfect day!
Posted by: Helen at May 09, 2007 02:11 PM (CCyzl)
21
Oh man... I had almost gotten "Ancient Chinese Secret" out of my tomes upon tomes of useless information within my head.
Posted by: amber at May 09, 2007 02:31 PM (HCbA1)
22
ahahaha - I'm like that too. Last summer, taught the kids something new on a WA roadtrip: Raaaaaaainierrrrrrrrrr beeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrr.
And of course, good morning, good muffin to you!
Posted by: loribo at May 09, 2007 02:36 PM (MY7JG)
23
I thought it was "A
sliver, slice, or chunk of; I hanker for a hunk of cheese." Either way, it's still memorable. My favorite School House Rock was Interjection!! "So when you're happy, Hurray, or sad, Aw, or excited, Eek, or glad, Hey, an interjection starts the sentence right."
Thanks for the trip down memory lane. My all-time favorite commercial from the 80s is one for Stroh's beer, where a plane full of Stroh's apparently made an emergency landing. It was too heavy to take off, so they considered leaving some of the passengers. One guy suggests leaving the beer. A guy with a fake English accent says, "Leave the Stroh's?" and two military guys reply, "Negative!!" Finally they strip all the metal sheeting from the plane and take off. I can still quote that commercial from start to finish. Anyone else remember that one?
Posted by: Solomon at May 09, 2007 02:49 PM (x+GoF)
24
DonÂ’t remember the cheese song, but I remember Conjunction Junction.
Before that was Multiplication Rock. To this day, when I count by threes, I sing that songÂ…
3, 6, 9Â…
12, 15 18Â…
21, 24 27 Â…
30.
Not much for lyrics but with my mental accompaniment it sounds awesome.
Posted by: dadddyquatro at May 09, 2007 02:55 PM (ePyvD)
25
Solomon,
Now this is weird. Because StrohÂ’s is regional, I never saw the commercial.
But, I saw a 60 minutes or something about the making of the commercial.
I still have the mental image of those poor folks, sitting it that stripped plane, being pulled down a dusty road, singing
“From one beer lover,
To another,
Stroh’s”
over and over again until the director was satisfied.
HowÂ’s that for the persistence of a jingle. I didnÂ’t even see the damn ad and I still remember it.
Posted by: dadddyquatro at May 09, 2007 03:13 PM (ePyvD)
26
I have a great cover of Blind Melon doing "Three is the Magic Number," and a recording of The Simpson's version of School House Rocks - "I'm an Ammendment To Be."
Some people laugh at me because I have some seriously old VHS recorded movies that were played on tv, but watching the commercials is priceless.
I, too, have a memory for useless ads (although since I ultimately wanted to write ads, maybe it wasn't so useless when I was younger). I can remember the whole jingle for Pocket Rockers, and am sure that's where Apple got the idea for the iPod (wear the music, feel the beat!), but these days I inadvertantly change the name to Pocket Rockets, which is just a whole different ball game. I can also remember the entire McDonald's menu song, and can even picture the guy who walked up to the counter to sing it. WHO REMEMBERS SHIT LIKE THAT?
Posted by: amy t. at May 09, 2007 03:28 PM (3dOTd)
27
Oh, speaking of your amazing talent for placing actors in movies and such (get ready, you're going to kill me), if the
Lost character you are referring to is Sawyer, he played a valet in
CSI. In my defense, I just watched that one last week. I don't just know that off the top of my head. I also know that Ben Affleck was in
Buffy the Vampire Slayer the movie, and had no lines.
My amazing useless talent when it comes to movies is quotes. I can quote movies like crazy, and it drives my friends (including you once or twice) nuts.
Ok. I'm done now.
Posted by: amy t. at May 09, 2007 03:31 PM (3dOTd)
28
"Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion on sesame bun. All 15 words never get heard..."
And I do hanker for a hunk of cheese now and then as well.
I want one of these-for me and every one I know.
http://vh1.blogs.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/07/paris_tshirt.jpg
Posted by: Teresa at May 09, 2007 03:31 PM (wTSpk)
29
We don't watch films as much these days either and I put the blame squarely on the TIVO's shoulders. As for Paris Hilton...I can't believe there is a "grass-roots" movement to keep her out of jail.
What's with all these stupid movements suddenly? GAH! So embarrassing. *covers face*
Posted by: The other Amber at May 09, 2007 03:32 PM (zQE5D)
30
Amy-I did know about Sawyer! Nick jeopardized the whole investigation all for his valet buddy!
It's the Lost character Jin who played the secret service guy. Funny, he spoke flawless English...
And when you wrote "Pocket Rocker" I only read it as "Pocket Rocket". Twice. It's the hormones. Now I need a private moment.
Posted by: Helen at May 09, 2007 03:42 PM (CCyzl)
31
Oh, and gotta say-my favorite 'School House Rock' is "The Shot Heard 'Round the World". Hey, it was the start of the revolution....
Posted by: Teresa at May 09, 2007 03:42 PM (wTSpk)
32
Even if you got the wrong donut chain, I can assure you Winchell's is still alive and well. At least on the West Coast in the tiny town I grew up in two hours south of Seattle. Still there, still with the creepy man who never goes home. Some things never change.
Posted by: Julia at May 09, 2007 03:44 PM (5+omQ)
33
I thought I was the only one who could still sing the "Don't Drown Your Food" song. I can still hear the goo falling on the sandwich making that blurp noise.....
And Winchells is alive and well in SoCal, too.
Posted by: caltechgirl at May 09, 2007 03:55 PM (r0kgl)
34
ah, yes. i was going to say we have a winchell's near the landings in san diego. great for grabbing a donut and coffee before going fishing.
i also quote ads. and movies. all. the. time.
Posted by: becky at May 09, 2007 04:33 PM (jv5jW)
35
God I get ads stuck in my head all the time. The one I get the most lately is the flea treatment commercial with all the puppies. I can't help but sing it every time it comes on, and then randomly for hours after I see it. Fortuantely my husband thinks it's funny. I definitely watch too much TV, but I'm ok with that.
Posted by: Erin at May 09, 2007 04:40 PM (HQy7k)
36
Once a guy showed up at work wearing a Pillsbury Dough Boy shirt. Apparently I wasn't the first person who thought to poke him in the belly, because as I started to extend my index finger, the guy eyeballed me and said, "Hee fuckin' hee."
Posted by: Julie at May 09, 2007 05:43 PM (bxErd)
37
I was concerned that I don't have any commercials in my head, but then I realized I often hum the tune that goes along with pringles..."smaa-alll, small is tremendous."
The whole reason I love Tivo is the ability to fast forward through all the commercials. I've enjoyed that function.
Posted by: Some Girl at May 09, 2007 06:09 PM (vec0T)
38
When I die I am going to Gilligan's Island.
With Gilligan, the Skipper too, the millionaire and his wife, the movie star, the professor and Mary Ann, there on Gilligan's Isle.
Now tell me you don't have the song in your head? LOL Sorry....but you can get all three seasons on dvd now, and holy shit, I sleep good with one of them on repeat on the tv.
Posted by: DONNA at May 09, 2007 06:31 PM (h83Du)
39
That's pretty funny dadddyquatro. I wish I had seen the special.
Isn't it amazing/disturbing how ads from 20 or 30 years ago can stay with us? Now THAT'S an effective advertisement.
Posted by: Solomon at May 09, 2007 06:41 PM (x+GoF)
40
I am hoping that Paris sees what you wrote here!!! I certainly agree.
How about N-E-S-T-L-E-S.....Nestles makes the very best.....choc-laaaaaaate.
Posted by: kenju at May 09, 2007 07:15 PM (DBvE5)
41
I have a category for the things you mentioned. I call it "Useless Shit that Clogs Your Head". Great stuff to think about during a slow day at work, or to annoy your coworkers.
And as far as PH, aka The (derogatory term for vagina) From Hell, my sentiments exactly. I wish the media would find something more worthy to chase. Besides I'm more partial to someone like Sharon Stone. Knockout blonde with a genius IQ. My favorite.
Posted by: diamond dave at May 09, 2007 08:34 PM (VXEan)
42
Interjections! Show excitement! And emotion! They're usually set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point, or by comman when the feeling's not as strong.
So when you're happy. Hurray!
Or sad. Awww.
Or frightened. Eeek!
...
Schoolhouse Rocks was the love of my childhood Saturday mornings. I bought the set on DVD so that my children can enjoy them too.
=================
Lolly lolly lolly, get your adverbs here.
===========================
With regards to the heiress who shan't be named, well, doesn't everyone know that celebrities are
better than the rest of us, and that they don't deserve punishments reserved for us peons?
I hope that she acts like a jackass in prison and gets time added to her sentence. I remain dumbfounded over the fact that somehow she's considered a celebrity.
Posted by: physics geek at May 09, 2007 09:06 PM (MT22W)
43
I cans till remember a Jimmy Connors ad from the seventies when I visited the US. 'Twas for ginger beer
It ain't too sweet
It's a neat refreshing treat
Canada Dry ginger beer
IT AIN'T TOO SWEET!
Wasted life, I tell you, wasted life!
Posted by: Mrs Susan Sandys at May 09, 2007 10:48 PM (RlNhw)
44
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is.
I am stuck on Band-aids cuz band-aids stuck on me.
Oh one of my favs,
How do you spell relief? R-o-l-a-i-d-s
Fun, fun times!
Posted by: grace at May 10, 2007 02:31 AM (SlJYu)
45
"hold the pickles , hold the lettuse, special orders don't upset us. Have it your way, have it your way" Burger King
I also remember the Alka seltzer ad that had people saying things like, "I like pizza" ****insert trumpet sound here****
"But ut doesn't like me."
Then, I have to add to my collection the ones from Mother's generation she sang to us.
A beaver singing "Brusha, brusha, brusha, with the new Ipana, it's better for you teee-eeeth." Thye used it in the background of the movie "Grease" so I suppose she wasn't the only one who kept it with her.
Then, she was likely as not to awaken us with a song, "Rise and shine with Grape Nuts flakes!"
Thanks for the walk down memory lane.
I hope there are no cameras in the PH suite--it would be nice not to see her face for a while.
Posted by: sophiesophie at May 10, 2007 08:23 AM (1HOa8)
46
Now I've got the MICROWAVE Pillsbury jingle in my head. "Beep Beep! Pop Pop!"
When I was in college, somebody stuck in a tape of Mary Poppins that her family had taped off the television... in the 80s. She was going to fast forward through the commercials but we stopped her and sang along to them.
Incidentally, that friend had a strong resemblance to the girlfriend in Ferris Beuller's Day Off. Very, very pretty.
Posted by: B. Durbin at May 12, 2007 01:29 AM (tie24)
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